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Soldier Purrbeasts!

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Purrbeast servants (read: maids and butlers)

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Total Members Voted: 3

[CaptainArchmage]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Here we have a troll. In fact, this is a very special troll, for they have been made GOVERNOR OF ALL ALTERNIA, and in fact all of ALTERNIA SECTOR, which is to cover the future STEM WORLDS and star systems of the glorious ALTERNIAN EMPIRE.

I'm back on here, and I did say I was going to do another Stellaris let's play featuring dwarves. In fact I got that under way and have material ready to post... but lately I decided to do something a little different. There have been a few updates and I've had to hack up that particular save in order to keep up, and there's a lot of mods too.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yes, I'm going to post *that* game when I have the chance to put it together. There's a lot of material.

Then Hiveswap: Act 2 came out and I decided... why don't we just start a new game as the Alternian Trolls from Homestuck. I'm still in the process of setting this up and there will be mods (including personal mods) involved. Not sure what species portrait to use - trolls are really arthropoidic but human-like enough that I'm considering using Elves of Stellaris for the Drow portrait.

https://mspaintadventures.fandom.com/wiki/Troll for reference about the species, particularly if you haven't read Homestuck. The Alternian Empire in this game is just starting out, though. That's the point.

If you want to put in a fantroll (for a leader position) feel free to post! There are probably three scientists or so you can pick from and I will be starting out with a big downpayment for a second science vessel.

Poll question for now is whether to use Real Space. It's just "advisory" - I might go ahead and jump in later today.

Spoiler: Resources for RP (click to show/hide)

Troll doll creator: http://www.farragofiction.com/DollSim/index.html?type=2
Extended Zodiac: http://hs.hiveswap.com/ezodiac/index.php

Troll List (tentative):
Empress Kaista Caegar

[EuchreJack]

I sense great glory in this one.  FOR THE EMPIRE!!!

[King Zultan]

Never read Homestuck but I'm gonna post to watch anyway.

[CaptainArchmage]

Finally, some progress! Here's how things start out... subject to edits.

> Bay12Games Watcher: Be Aryknu Varnis



You are Aryknu Varnis.

You have just been made GOVERNOR of all Alternia, and in fact all of ALTERNIA SECTOR, which is to cover the future STEM WORLDS and star systems of the glorious ALTERNIAN EMPIRE. The position comes with great honor and you are determined to do your best for the Fuchia Throne and the expansion of your glorious empire. You have a passion for MUSCULAR THEATRE and OLD MASTER PAINTINGS which are a throwback to traditional alternian society. You spent your time hunting down PRICELESS MASTERPIECES, which is to say you send your lessers to plumb the depths of the GUTTERBLOOD BAZAARS in search of them. What do you think, you’re not going to stoop to those depths. You could use a goblet of the finest BUBBLING MUSCLEBEAST FERMENTED EXTRACT. Out in the cosmos, there are alien worlds which surely have their own variety of sources for such LUXURY IMBIBABLE ITEMS and you aim to establish a NOBLE MONOPOLY over their distribution.

You dislike faygo. In fact if you had a choice, you would make that shit illegal.
You always use CORRECT GRAMMAR, CALLIGOREPHY, ADDRESSES, AND THE CASTRATED MOOBEAST CROSSING COMA (AKA the Trollfort Academy Coma).

> Aryknu: Survey Surroundings



You are in the Respiteblock of the GOVERNATORS HIVE. It is furnished appropriately to your station. Your baggage train, however, is slow to arrive. It can't be THAT MUCH, can it?


> Aryknu: Go to Rumpusblock



Rumpusblock? What rumpusblock. You don't have a rumpusblock. You have a rumpusHALL.

It makes the ordinary average everyday rumpusblock look like a makeshift hive on Gutterblood Row.

> Aryknu: Inspect Rumpushall



The party last morn was shithive maggots, you wish you grubbed it.

You danced your spinal crevice off and saw this one troll completely exsanguinated.

These trolls, err, completely excolourated, err...

... You're not good at slam, are you?

> Aryknu: Inspect pail

You got a lot of parsecage here yesterday, and your shame glands won't get in the way of you admiring that. Later tonight you will need to prepare the bodies for the trophyblock.

> Aryknu: Be Inspired

You take down some appropriate rhymes for future reference.

> Aryknu: Go to Deskblock

Spoiler: Large Image: Governator's Deskblock (click to show/hide)

This place is so big you kind of wish you had an indoor scuttlebuggy to move around. In fact, you can probably ask one of your lessers to put an order for a few in. In facy you'll probably do that once you're done with your duties today.

> Aryknu: Look out of transparent fenestration.

You have a great view over the Primary Stemcluster. It is a fine First Perigee's Twilight, err, maybe. There's an awful lot of smog out there too.

> Aryknu: Inspect Computer



Later today one of the peons is going to have to refill this with mind honey. It's also ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE. This is probably used for briefhiving a larger audience.

Now where did you leave your login credentials...

> Aryknu: Check Status of Alternia

Spoiler: Status of Alternia - Large Pic (click to show/hide)

You finally manage to log in. Looks like your techgrubs absolute pailed up your pic and a few other things... there's this Artificial Grubtelligence called "VIR" who has offered to show you around.

Trolls originated from subterranean realms, and there is a special contrast with the FUCKING DEATH WORLD that is the surface... except the caverns are also filled with FUCKING HOSTILE LIFE TOO. Most of the settlements in the present era are on the surface, in fact for all recorded history aside from the Jadebloods and Mother Grubs, trolls have mostly lived on the surface. However, if necessary the population could move underground too so hivespace isn't exactly in short supply. The underground is also home to several research stations. A significant number of trolls may use this area to shelter in case of a DEADLY SOLAR STORM and you could concievably build ten districts or so in here if you ran out of surface districting space.

In terms of districts, major stemclusteres are Shalim and the "Greater Stemcluster Area", which contains the CAPITAL ZONE. That's where you're at now. Here, the high nobility and aristocrats make their residence, though not usually as great as yours. The Subjugglators and Legislacerators operate out of here, and there are also present many UNLANDED LANDDWELLERS for administrators.

Alternia also has a bureauhive in the GREATER HIVESTEM AREA to distribute orders and manage the smooth running at the middle level of society.

Energy is provided to Alternia through the three GENERATOR CLUSTERS and a further two AGRICULTURAL DISTRICTS are present. Lastly, there are three MINING DISTRICTS which are firmly the domain of the GUTTERBLOOD TRASH.

In total you could build three more generator clusters and three more mining districts from the get-go. Alternia has enough farming space to feed itself, and there's plenty more room for expansion. That said, there's a LABOR SHORTAGE and it isn't worth building more yet.

There are TWO foundries currently churning out alloys necessary to build your fleets. A civilian factory operation produces the requisite consumer goods for your society to get by.

Lastly, research takes place in the SPELEORESEARCH LABS. It's heavily dominated by engineering at the moment. The highest levels of the aristocracy, for some reason, decided to move this research down there and you weren't going to challenge it. In fact you didn't have a chance to challenge it.

The planet is at current facing several non-trivial issues with a SHORTAGE OF AMENITIES and RISING DEVIANCY in the population. Two major industrial wastelands have formed and there is a MASSIVE GUTTERSPRAWL at the edge of the Greater Stemcluster Area. You have some ideas on how to solve this, but none of them are that high up on your list of priorities, or you don't have the budget space mandate them. Possibly both.

Spoiler: Credits (click to show/hide)

Credits: Shalim is thanks to Or8weaver.

> Aryknu: View Solar System



In recent sweeps the Alternian Empire has established research and mining outposts on many of the other worlds in the ALTERNIAN SYSTEM. Actually just mining and trading posts. There are still plenty of openings for development within the system, and not all can be used. A wise noble will make use of these prudently.

Alternia is the THIRD PLANET from it's star, known as "Pyral" or "Lys". The giant red star is known for it's STRANGE STARSPOTS and there's generally been agreed to be something REALLY OFF with this star. That's mostly for the scientists.

The purple moon, TYRIAN, has an active MINING OUTPOST protected by the moon's STRONG MAGNETIC FIELD. It produces a considerable amount of minerals for supplying the empire. Nobody, however, has thought of extracting the similarly rich minerals from FELT. You raised the issue many times during schoolfeeding at TROLLENFURT ACADEMY and nobody seemed to want to answer that question. Curious.

The only other developmental opening is on SCORIST. It's the world closest to the star and is home to strange explosive chemical motes your kind are not able to bring under control... yet. When you do, you'll be the first to establish a MONOPOLY. In the meantime, the planet's hot core provides a perfect model for RAPIDLY TERRAFORMING WORLDS to meet your species' standards. Not that you can even do that yet... someday, maybe.

There are three HYPERSPACE CONDUITS leading out of the system. These are the interstellar highways along which your GRAND FLEETS will GO FORTH AND CONQUER THE GALAXY. Alternatively, they may be the harbingers of your own destruction... not if you can help it.

> Aryknu: View Starbase

Spoiler: Starbase: Large Pic (click to show/hide)

It made sense to have a central starport to operate out of. This is that. Besides allowing spacecraft a safe haven avoiding a perilous entry and flight through the acidic upper atmosphere of your planet, the starport also has a shipyard to construct and hosts a trading facility which should allow access to nearby star systems.

> Aryknu: Order New Science Ship



Her Imperial Majesty Empress Kaista Caegar gave you power and asked for it to be used. You remember enough from the briefings to know you have a science vessel, but it helps to have two and you have the alloys on site to build a new one. Now you just have to find a name for it.

> Aryknu: View Fleet

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Alternian Empire's existence is protected by their massive and mighty fleet. These vessels were constructed several sweeps ago in order to defend against potential threats to Alternia and destroy ROGUE GAMBLIGNANTS. In the future, they will be used to exert the might of the Empire through the galaxy.

There's only three ships though. You were certain there were more.

> Aryknu: View Science Vessel

Spoiler: Science Vessel: Large Pic (click to show/hide)

This is the AIS Lookstub. It's a science vessel, which means it PROBES MYSTERIES OF THE UNKNOWN and SOLVES ANCIENT ENIGMAS. It's main use thus far was to map and prospect for minerals on other planets in the system, which sounds far more mundane for you. Lately, a new device has been fitted to the vessel which will allow it to rapidly travel to other star systems. You hope they have it working this time.

> Aryknu: Hail Science Vessel Commander



To be continued...

Sneak peek:

[CaptainArchmage]

In which we start to approach the end of the intro... I know, I hoped to post this over the weekend... before the last!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Troll language except in very specific cases uses the Daedric Alphabet, turned upside down and read right-to-left but in this case, top to bottom. Numerals are generally read left to right regardless. New Alternian script, which is thus far only used in one case, is read the standard way.

> Aryknu: Hail Science Vessel Commander

Spoiler: Trolling Log (click to show/hide)

TraditionalAristocrat [TA] began trolling radioactiveArcheologist [rA]
TA: I see that Dr Olive Scientist has finally gotten the infernal contraption working.
TA: It would be a mighty shame for all Alternia if events during the so-called hyperspace jump were to transpire as they did last time.
TA: I trust all systems are go.
RA: all systems are go and ready to jump :3
RA: were we going boss :3
TA: Wow, your response has quite the delay.
RA: sorry boss theres a delay cause speed of light :3
TA: Oh well. The laws of physics were made to be broken. As to that matter, I have new instructions for you.
TA: Your objectives are primary, secondary, and tertiary. Of prime importance is that you locate a habitable planet within reasonable distance so that our glorious Alternian Empire can stake claim. I have laid out some critereons for the most desirable worlds, which must have abundant arable land and non-motile forms of life, which can be converted into cultured inebrium by means of unicellular chitenous spores.
TA: Of secondary priority I desire the recovery of a great alien artefact in return. This must have sufficient political value, in the eye of the systems that matter.
TA: Of tertiary priority, I desire the recovery of a great alien artwork. This must have, in the eye of the beholder, sufficient artistic value.
RA: jeebus fuggnubs thats a lot of objectives :3
TA: Remember that we have a deal and I do not take that lightly. I do not hand out promotions like tobacco flutes at the circus.
TA: Also I demand that you recognise the importance of avoiding mention of this to those of higher blood. The consequences of this might be undesirable to my self but they are far more undesirable to you.
RA: so no talk of this with the purps :3 guess were more alike than we think :3
TA: On the contrary, I believe our reasons for avoiding highbloods are separate.
RA: but boss beliefs are not fact :3 we gotta go based on empirical evidence :3 purps are bad news x:/
TA: We have three hyperspace conduits to explore. Do you have any suggestions on the order of exploration?
RA: well the best kind of star were accustomed to is ours but its really really rare :3
TA: How rare is it? Please attempt to convert this into terms that are more understandable to those of higher blood.
RA: well its about as rare as the painting of the monina litesa in alternian history :3
RA: you ok boss x:^)
TA: I had to ask my peon to fetch me an entire vitreous container of grainular distilled inebrium aged in tubeflora liginous carapace.
TA: I am in better condition now.
TA: That is indeed a very rare occurrence.
RA: dont worry i think we got it down x:3
RA: we think mkgf stars got the best chance of hosting lifegrubulating worlds :3
TA: What does that acronym mean? I am not familiar with this present-sweep terminology.
RA: oh so normal primordium-fusing stars are listed on the scale of obafgkm and the scale can be extended to outlier stars :3
TA: Do you not have a better way to communicate this or not?
RA: the mnemonic is "outglut barkbeasts are found grovellating kaista's matesprite" boss x:3
TA: In light of your communications I have ascertained that "Found Grovellating Kaista's Matesprite" translates to the stars that may host ideal worlds. How subversive.
RA: no issues with that boss and you are entirely correct :3 where to x:^)
RA: and if it werent subversive you wouldnt remember x:^)
TA: I shall get back to you in due course. Please await my further orders.

> Aryknu: View Galaxy



This is the view of THE GALAXY, with HYPERLANES shown where known. Your scientists have been able to probe the "topology" of the lanes a number of jumps down, but that knowledge is limited. An even more limited scan means you know the star types and maybe how many there are in each system.

> Aryknu: Zoom in



Oh look, the techpeons actually put a zoom function on your computer. You're able to zoom into your local star cluster. Wowzers.

At this moment, exploration of the FUTURE ALTERNIAN DOMINIONS is in your own hands. Well, you can order whichways you're going to expand your domain, that is. There's three of them and two are variations on the same theme.

> Arykny: Issue Orders



You can see there are two G-class stars within a jump of Alternia. This is a closed cluster, nobody else seems to have access to this unless they're already there.

Also what the inflamed shame globule is a "Brown Dwarf Class Y"? You trust it isn't judging your resent gastric evacuation gland products. Y wasn't on the BLASPHEMOUS AND NIGH-TREASONOUS MNEMONIC that has been just seared into your think pan's long-term recollection storage lobe, so you guess it's not a great place to go.

You remember your geometry and decide to kill the two featherbeasts nearest Alternia with the same stone. It's clear how exploration here will metamorphose...

Spoiler: Trolling Log (click to show/hide)

TraditionalAristocrat [TA] began trolling radioactiveArcheologist [rA]
TA: I have determined an optimal strategy for you to discover the nearby surroundings.
TA: This appears to be the most optimal strategy that determines the status threat of both "G" class stars to Alternia first.
RA: oh boy boss you actually came up with an optimal solution :3
TA: Are you certain that it is the optimal solution?
RA: this journey cant be completed in less than six jumps boss :3
RA: theres like a mathematical theory that says so :3
RA: you should be proud :3

You're about to respond and oh...

> Aryknu: Get Trolled



Someone is trying to get in touch with you... oh, bugger a grub, not this gastric evacuation gland...

Spoiler: Trolling Log (click to show/hide)

RageEnemy [RA] began trolling TraditionalAristocrat [TA]
RE: WELL WeLL wEll WHAt Do we HaVe Hear
TA: Greetings most honoured of the highbloods.
TA: How may the governor of Sector Alternia assist you this fine night?
RE: BruVva if youv been watching da newz therez a sanguinilection cumin right up your spinal crevice
TA: Please enlighten me as to this "sanguinilection".
RE: saz U knO tHe GLOrious armEE of AlTernIA iZ inDire KneaDz oF A gEnr@l
RE: Wev gott aaye comPETEETION tO wiN thE plzCe oP Honur
RE: Im A CalliN iN A fAvor
RE: UlTIMATe Choose faLz tO ThE ToP
TA: Are you, with all due respect, asking me to put in a good word with the Empress herself?
RE: U Culd SeZ SO
RE: i CAn WaIt BuT DOO not TakE toA LoNg
TA: I shall see what I can do.
RE: yOu bEtEr

> Aryknu: View Science and Assign Projects



You're glad that conversation was over. What were you at now? Oh. Right. You decide to take a look at the SCIENCE DIVISION.

Science is the reason the Alternian Empire's might can be PROJECTED THROUGH THE GALAXY. These three are the heads of their respective departments.

Notably none have been assigned projects. This is up to you. You really don't feel like talking to these people right now but you do so anyway. There's a WhatsGrubb ring designated for them. Normally this is the domain of the Empress but it's kind of clear what will help more with what.

Spoiler:  Trolling Log (click to show/hide)

TraditionalAristocrat began trolling Elite Researchocrat Group
TA: Greetings good sirs, madames, and other fine titled and landed and sea'd upper crust of society.
TA: I trust that all is well this fine new sweep.
MA joined in trolling Elite Researchocrat Group
MA: Oh look. The so-called "Governator" doth come to take a gander at our schemes.
MA: If thou wish'd make thyself useful, thou could'st assign thine mineral wealth to appropriate research facility on the surface of our world.
MA: A certain fraternity pailer whose clothing would else be 200 sweeps out of date hath decided to make monopoly o'er Alternian science.
gearedupGrub began trolling Elite Researchocrat Group
GG: Ayyye... no fair! It was my idea to put those labs down there and it was absolutely brilliant. That I am assured of.
GG: Allow me to present my new awe-inspiring project...
MA: It doth take you quite the hour to formulate your thoughts.
GG: Introducing...
GG: CARRIER OPERATIONS! BASIC STRIKE CRAFT! HANGER BAYS!
MA: The only thing that needeth to be hung is your thinkpan from a logical device.
GG: The HANGER BAY will allow FIGHTING SPACECRAFT to launch forth STRIKE CRAFT from SPACE STATIONS and MASSIVE CARRIERS and allow the TOTAL DESTRUCTION of ROGUE GAMBLIGNANTS and VILE FORCES FROM BEYOND THE VEILS OF THE STARS...
TA: On that matter of the so-called "hanger bay" project I am willing to pass the paperwork on immediately to Her Imperial Majesty. You have made your case adequately.
MA: Oh look. The head of "all thine science" hath flogged their project already.
MA: My project hath more dues to give to trolls of science in general.
MA: I doth call it "Administrative Artificial Intelligence". It is an artificial thinkpan created by mimicking the pathways of a true thinkpan but with soft code.
TA: Can you state your case perhaps more clearly. It sounds interesting to me.
MA: My calculations doth suggest an increase in five parts per hundred of research efficiency.
TA: Interesting. What are the other options you can present?
MA:
TA: I believe you have made your case, and Administrative Artificial Intelligence will be the main focus.
hopefulVanguard began trolling Elite Researchocrat Group
HV: Is this thing on? Hello?
HV: Oh, what a pleasure to meet an Indigo of standing.
TA: Likewise. I trust there are appropriate topics proposed for a "New Worlds" enthusiast of your own standing.
HV: Quite. My primary research "proposal", if it could be called that, is "Biodiversity studies".
TA: What is this kind of suggestion worthy of a Jadeblood.
HV: Well the idea is to use Alternia as a base ecosystem model to work out how we can adapt our glorious species for colonizing space.
HV: I can present alternatives. One is to plan out ground defences on Alternia and other worlds, the other is to build a trade network.
TA: I would recommend focusing our efforts on constructing ground defences.
HV: Very well, I shall redirect my efforts.
TA: That will be, for the most part, all for now.

> Aryknu: Ask an important question




Something has been nagging at you. You decide to put forth the question to the scientist most likely to have an appropriate answer.

Spoiler: Trolling Log (click to show/hide)

TraditionalAristocrat began trolling MysticalHypothesist
TA: I have a question for you.
MH: Is this even worth mine while?
TA: Our sun is special, but I have not been informed on how.
TA: I see the reports that our sun has unusual sunspots and is a "Thorne–Żytkow object". Can you explain.
MH: Ah yes, our star is a special object in the universe.
MH: Originally, our star had a particularly low mass. However, in the early stages of it's formation it absorbed a stellar corpse, a neutronic star or pulsating star.
MH: As such, it burns far hotter, and yet has a far longer lifespan than a normal red subgiant or even any other star of its mass as the primordial soup within it is mixed evenly.
MH: The uniqueness of our star lead to beliefs that either our solar system was nearing the end of its life or that the universe was far older than we expected it to be.
MH: It was not until recently that we divined the true nature of our star.
MH: We believe perhaps hundreds of red giant or supergiant stars have also absorbed neutronic stars in our galaxy at the present time, but the odds of a fresh star merging are very low.
MH: Suffice it to say the universe is younger and older than was one thought, and Alternia is not facing stellar-induced annihilation in the near future.
MH: Does that explain the matter to the indigoblood.

Spoiler: tl;dr (click to show/hide)

Alternia's Star, "Pyral" or "Lys" has the following parameters, given in the diagram in meters, kg, kelvins, and solar sweeps. Here's the translation into "those who haven't read Homestuck":
-Total mass is 1.863 solar masses.
-Radius is 5.53 times that of our sun.
-Luminosity is 4.67 times that of our sun.
-Age is slightly above our sun's
-Estimated total lifespan is 32 billion years on main sequence, assuming all the hydrogen is used up.
-The star has immense convective processes ongoing.
-Other information is as given in the Troll Log. This is a very rare star.

> Aryknu: View Policy



POLICY is set by the Empress herself, but you can build your influence to alter it as necessary. You can see some decisions have already been locked in.

> Aryknu: View Demographic Policy



Again the Empress has already made decisions here. You don't see a reason to change this. Population growth will happen in time... or when you can finally dismantle the guttersubgrubs in the greater metrostem area.

> Aryknu: View Construction Vessel



Enough with looking over those other tidbits of the economy and greater galaxy. This is the construction vessel, the A.I.S. Lusus. In fact it is the only construction vessel in the Alternian Empire equipped for interstellar travel. Once a system is entirely scanned, you can order it to build NEW FRONTIER OUTPOSTS to CLAIM SYSTEMS for the GLORIOUS EMPIRE in exchange for the relevant POLITICAL CAPITAL and alloys.

Oh look. Orders have already been issued but got held up pending your approval. These "people" probably aren't worth your time pestering. You need to assign the minerals for a new mining station orbiting Felt, the Green Moon. Wow, someone actually woke up to your genius suggestions!

> Aryknu: Sign Off



That's enough work for today. The Alternian Empire never sleeps, but the messy work will be done by other trolls. That's why they're there.

Oh look, one of your peons has brought you refreshments. Time to kick back and relax.

> Bay12 Reader: Be the Construction Ship Captain



You are DARAVA HONGIM. You have been the captain of the construction vessel A.I.S. Lususm for a few sweeps now following the GRUESOMESTERIOUS DEATH of the previous captain. The position comes with a few perks, such as being able to SEE THE GALAXY and the income to buy NEW NUB PLATFORMS and OLD CHUCKLECINEMA REELS to increase your collection.
As a rustblood it's pretty unusual for your kind to rise to these kinds of positions but you made it anyway and are looking to living out your sweeps on the FRONTIERS OF GALACTIC CIVILIZATION.

Oh look, a message with some orders in it.

> Darava: Read Orders

Spoiler: Troll Log (click to show/hide)

Your new orders are to construct a mining station in orbit around Felt. This is an alpha priority mission and must be executed as soon as possible. Orbital transfer plans and schematics for the station are provided.

Wow, just wow. You've seen all kinds of system errors, bad writing, q|_|1rk5, and funky text colors and shithive maggots demands but that one took the grubcake.

You are to rendevouz with a fleet of mineral scows in order to fulfill some likely violetblood's schemes in orbit around Felt.

Felt is the allegedly barren, green, outer moon of your homeworld and is subject to ASSORTED CONSPIRATORCYTHEORY. In your view, it should have been colonized or mined a lot sooner. It would have been a great source of ore, though without the purple moon's massive magnetic field to shield the colonists. That said, most other worlds have been settled here to that extent. You don't get the rationale behind the decision but then you aren't a highblood by any means either.

Your assignment is really close to home. You were hoping to get some orders to leave the system, but oh well. If someone's gonna die a horrible death in the transdimensional vortices of space and time, ideally it wouldn't be you.

You saw what happened the LAST TIME someone tried.

> Darava: Get vessel underway

Spoiler: Digitally Remastered Version - JITTER TRIGGER WARNING (click to show/hide)

You give orders to fire up the engines, which engage with a satisfying "chunk" as COLD PRIMORDIAL GAS is mixed with LIFEGIVING LIQUID VAPOR and pumped at NUGBONE-CRUSHING PRESSURES through the FISSIONING LIGHTBULB ENHANCED CHEMICAL FIRERIDER. You're underway alright. You're really proud of this vessel which has spent many sweeps operating around alternia.

Estimated time to arrival is oh... nineteen days. That's fine. Time for a bit of a vacation eh?

[CaptainArchmage]

And now for some more. Damn, that took a long time to get the characters set up! Next up we'll see what happens as time moves on.

> Darava Hongim: Return to Captain's Respiteblock



You know what, you literally even have been awake a long while to get yourself out of this interstellary scuttlebuggy crush. You decide to return to the Captain's Respiteblock aboard this vessel. Damn, there's a lot of corridors on this ship, right?

> Darava Hongim: Inspect Respiteblock



Geez dude. You're finally here. This was the respiteblock of the former captain until he took a plutonium rod to the blood pusher. Now it's yours.

You have an OMNIPURPOSE STORAGE UNIT and a slimed respitesurface to sleep on, and have posters relating to your favored ancient chucklevoodoo cinema. You've covered most of the less-functional previous owner's effects and items with fibrous partitioners of your likeing.

Oh look, something fell behind the back of the desk. It's a book with the former captain's writing on it and in it...

> Darava Hongim: Read amateur literature.



You pick up the bound book. The former captain of this vessel used for his personal compositional work and take a gander. Oh, look, one of the sheets wasn't bound in fully. You take a look.

You don't get indigo humor and aesthetics.

> Darava: Sleep



With the vessel under the command of your X.O. Nierut Dambid you're able to catch some shuteye on the slimed respitesurface. The laws of physics (and the engines) will now carry your vessel on a brachistochrone curve until you reach the final destination in, oh, how long again? Almost three weeks. You have the distinct feeling more interesting developments may be available on the news in the interrim but that is a matter for another time.

Spoiler: Credits so far IMPLIED MAJOR SPOILERS (click to show/hide)

Aryknu Varnis' Gubernatorial Hive uses the interiors of various palaces in Moscow. The office is literally a Stellaris wallpaper.
The science vessel hallway and interiors of the construction ship are based on certain err, less than famous starships.
Darava's Respiteblock i.e. crew quarters is a render by Max Rudberg but itself based on one of the aforementioned starships.

Yes, most or all of this is literally done in MS Paint.

[Duuvian]

Very nice!

I used to read Homestuck every day and was impressed by the astounding proliferation of new panels. I never finished it though so I'm out of the loop as to how things developed. Someday soon I'll go back and re-read it.

EDIT: I also enjoy Stellaris so this is a fine thread in my opinion

[CaptainArchmage]

Very nice!

I used to read Homestuck every day and was impressed by the astounding proliferation of new panels. I never finished it though so I'm out of the loop as to how things developed. Someday soon I'll go back and re-read it.

EDIT: I also enjoy Stellaris so this is a fine thread in my opinion

Homestuck finished a few years ago, then the epilogues came out along with Homestuck 2.

Here's what's come out since. Primary frame 37 is missing several sections because those are .gifs. I'll upload that when I get the issues worked out. They're long, and patching them together is seriously problematic. I cannot get .webm files to actually play properly, only a static image is provided on imgur [EDIT: Actually Simple Machines Forum may not support webm]. Also, .gif files are massively large. During my security procedures I accidentally evicted all my documents off the big drive to my SSD (and cloud storage), which means there's more space on that disk. However, with this level of production there will be issues.

Expect a few "remasters" as my competency with gifs improves.

Also activating Rich Galaxy may have been a bad idea, even without Stellar Abundance Active... oh well.

2200.01.22 AKA Imperial Sweep 1100.

> Bay12 Reader: Skip Ahead

You're gonna have a lot of timeskips in this. This is about a whole galaxy developing...

> Davara: Arrive at Felt



The orbital insertion maneuver went through perfectly as planned, probably better than any previous manveur and it put the AIS Lusus in orbit right on top of the mineral scows. The moon's green glow, according to THOSE OF A MORE SCIENTIFIC PERSUATION, occurs due to the thin life-giving atmosphere reacting with the strong solar wind and emitting "radiation". It isn't enough to keep you alive on the surface without protection though. You're now going to have to direct the construction efforts, launching smaller utility ships.

Based on previous experience, this will take about 100 days worth of work.

> Aryknu: Assess net worth



It being the start of the new month, you now need to assess net worth. Actually, you wanted to assess the net worth of Alternia Sector, and not your own which is "pretty darn large". By Alternia Sector, you of course mean the whole Alternian Empire. The latest projects netted you another 34 Standard Units of energy credits in the past month, bringing the total sum to 134. If you hocked the rest of your food, minerals, and consumer goods you'd probably end up with a net of 524 credits in total. Yeah, selling stuff carries market or so after fees.

You have a deal with RageEnema, but then again the nominations are open a couple of years. You decide to save up funds for hiring a new scientist for the upcoming science vessel.

> Aryknu: Assess influence metrics



The aristocracy has to model influence in the Empire, and falling short will cause problems. The Alternian Empire generates 3 standard units, with an addition 0.5 units gleaned from the Empress' position. It takes 75 standard influence points to be able to draft a frontier outpost and expand Alternian space to an adjacent star system. This leads to 42 units of influence on a yearly basis, and 420 over a full decade. In concert with influene already accumulated, you can assert control over 4.13 star systems in the next five years, and 6.9 over this decade.

You have the feeling these are all very significant numbers.

> Bay12 Reader: Be "RageEnema".

At this moment that would be not conductive to your sanity. Trust me.

> Bay12 Reader: Wait a few hours and be "RageEnema".



Err...

> Bay12 Reader: WTF

If you'd read Homestuck, you'd know that's a bad choice in the first place.

If you'd paid any attention to the person's handle, you'd not have even made this choice in the first place.

> Bay12 Reader: Alright alright, be the science guy



Science guy? Which science guy? Oh, I guess you mean the dude in charge of the AIS Lookstub...

> [S] Bay12 Reader: Be Azdaja Roixmr Again



You are AZDAJA ROIXMR. You are the captain of the AIS LOOKSTUB, one of the HELMSMAN-CLASS SCIENCE VESSELS which shall BLAZE A TRAIL THROUGH THE STARS FOR THE GLORY OF THE ALTERNIAN EMPIRE. You've been at this job for a long time and have seen a lot. You've also discovered a lot and have a GREAT KNACK FOR FINDING THINGS.

Half of your superiors at Trollenfurt Academy attributed your success to your OLIVE LUCK but the other half said you had a special ability to SHINE LIGHT ON HIDDEN TRUTHS. You don't know which to believe and you're happy with either answer.

Originally you weren't "destined" for this position, or you weren't considered "cut out for it". After Last Time, however, no violetbloods were prepared to take risks taking one of these faster than light vessels out for its paces. Thus, the task falls to you to HEAD OUT INTO THE UNKNOWN and SHINE LIGHT INTO THE DARKNESS.

You love to find NEW WORLDS and discover NEW ALIEN LIFE or ANCIENT MYSTERIES BURIED UNDER THE VIGINTILLIONS OF YEARS OF TIME. You also love ANCIENT LITERATURE about adventures around Alternia and are an ACTIVE PART OF THE SCIFI SUBGRUBATURE on the internets.

Of course, as far as you're aware the universe isn't anywhere near that old, and if you were to discover life your superiors would be the first to eat it for breakfast. You're sure you'd be fired if your superiors discovered your latest writings.

Your ship has just reached the edge of Pyral, the solar system containing Alternia and it's weird star. You're about to make what is hopefully the first HYPERSPACE JUMP out of this system.

You're not the first.

Spoiler: Trolling Log (click to show/hide)

radioactiveArcheologist began trolling mythicalHypothesist
RA: k we ready to go right x:-3
MH: I see the oliveblood has finally reached the hyperspace point.
MH: I would recommend following the instructions.
RA: r u sure this isnt going to end up like last time x:-/
MH: I believe the last interstellar voyage endeavoured using such a involved a significant quantity of unknown variables that could not be solved within existing field theory. By contrast, this method is believed to be safe by those of far greater stature than thou.
RA: well last time the ship was built by those of far greater sature x:-/
RA: this doesnt in your words "inspire a great amount of confidence" x:-/
MH: The difference between this vessel and that prior is that the prior vessel was constructed on direction of a fraternity pailer without care as to such things as safety regulations.
MH: By contrast I have advised some aspects of the construction of this vessel and am an expert in field manipulation.
RA: ok i get it x:3 will be getting us under way as soon as possible.

> Azdaja: Spool hyperdrive and LETSGO!



In order to cut into the hyperspace network you've got to spool the drive. You're pretty meticulous and could slam in the sequence blind while doing obscene rap about eastern alternian dojins. It's not gonna make the drive spool faster though. The computer firstly has to calculate the appropriate trajectory and you need to store a sufficient amount of energy to breach into hyperspace. To do that, you're gonna be here like 15 days mate.

2200.02.17

> Azdaja: Make the Jump to Hyperspace

This is it. This is literally the reason you hatched. You're going to make the first jump to hyperspace and that's it. Your doin' this.

You've watched all the shitty ass moviefilms about hyperspace jumps and had to debunk all of them. The light, much as you predicted, just surrounds your ship and vanishes into nothingness. You're now in the hyperspace corridor... for a few more days. At least you're alive, your lookstubs seem to be functioning fine... and you haven't gone insane.

Just a bit of craving for some covfefe. Oh, look, it's time for brunch. We'll be back in a bit, right?

> Azdaja: End up on News (S38)



You're definitely on the news around Alternia, but you're not watching that channel. You're not going to get much internet out here. There's a reason you downloaded those 10 Teragrubrons of furbeast slash vids before pressing the big red button.

Spoiler: Translation (click to show/hide)

In Alternian: BREAKING NEWS

AIS LUSUS JUMPS TO HYPERSPACE

Azdaja Roixmr in first successful hyperspace jump | Engineering Head Rypete Adalov claims victory | Major leap in expansion of the Alternian Empire

2200.02.19

> Azdaja: Drop out of Hyperspace (S39)



It's been several days and you've just managed to get the hyperwave pipe to Grubtube working. Phew. You were nearly out of PRE-EMPTIVELY DOWNLOADED PURRBEAST VIDEOS to waste your time on.

This is the moment you were waiting for all your life. You're now in a new star system.

Also we're getting medical reports in from all decks. A few bugs need ironing out in the seatbelt warning system...

> Azdaja: Scan star system



You know better than "hit the big red button and be done with the scans". It doesn't take you too long to assess what's out here though.

You're at the star system Xarmaton. Xarmaton is a nearby G-class star and is only 0.48 Pyral Masses. That said, it seems to follow standard star models for NON-PYRALIAN STARS. Despite having way more hydrogen than your own sun, the star is not fully convective and thus will only last for maybe a third of Pyral's life.

The scans come in. There are five planets. The innermost two are molten, the middle two are barren worlds, and the outermost planet is frozen. No life here that you can detect, but anyways you've doubled the breadth of "known space" in one jump. Con-fucking-gradulations.

You set a course for Xarmaton IV using the sublight, chemical drives. You'll arrive in orbit around the world in 20 days. This is a pivotal moment for the Empire, but you have a feeling it will be a routine operation within a few months.

You've plotted a course through all the planets with an optimal trajectory, and you'll next be leaving for the *other* G-class star one hyperspace lane away from Alternia.

2200.02.22

> Bay12 Reader: Be Aryknu



where this guy aggen?

Ah yes. You solemnly watch from the command deck of the Pyral Shipyards as the AIS Pounce de Leon makes it out of the construction dock. In the name of the Empress, in the name of the Empire, this new science vessel is here consecrated. In the name of science, but also in the name of the Mirthful Messiah's. The airshields glow fuschia.

Shit. Is that RageEnema?! Best make yourself scarce.

> [S] Aryknu: Abscond the Station



You have a private executive shuttle with metallic hydrogen thrusters attached. Seriously dude? You can scarce yourself to any part of Pyral you liked. You could even invest in a tried and tested hyperdrive for a private shuttle. You even have the navigational information to make that work, now.

Actually you can afford more than one. More than two, even. In fact, that's what you're doing for the genius scientist you're going to hire for the science vessel...

But you won't do it yet. You'll send her out when there's enough energy credits to hire her. For the moment you'll pull a few maneuvers around the inner Alternian system and have an excuse for a vacation.

The Pounce De Leon will reach the hyperspace point in 35 days, so you have plenty of time to accrue the funds.

Spoiler: Sources MAJOR SPOILERS (click to show/hide)

The "Executive Shuttle" interior for the "abscond" scene is the Constellation Phoenix conference room, from Star Citizen. Even at this early stage of development on Alternia, it is perfectly logical such a vessel would be available.
The viewscreen is from the old Enterprise.
The Felt picture is from homestuck. That's it. That's the "Green Moon".
I did not make the hyperspace effects, but I cut the gif in half.

[CaptainArchmage]

In which we move along... somewhat.

> Aryknu: Engage Fuck This Shit mode



You're officially in Fuck This Shit mode. You have your peon fill up the hot circulating ablution trap with sopor slime for the scientist, and slime up your luxurious slimed respitesurface.

It's gonna be a few days on this trip.

[Sign on wall: Ablution Trap Not For Use As Recuperacoon]

2200.03.01

Following two will be wrapped in one...

> Aryknu: Check end of the month balance



Again, if you keep noting this down it's gonna take you forever! 168 energy credits and you'll pull another 33 at the end of the month, which is three days after the arrival of the scientist.

You can wait three days at the end of the month, or "dispose of some assets", namely food or consumer goods.

Also the Virtual Intelligence thingy says you got mail.

> Aryknu: Check Emails

You have 11,612 unread emails, mostly junk regarding weapon offers, North Alternian Highblood scams, shame globule enhancement, zero-g pails, offers of investment in Helium-3 based fusion energy, and wasparaza inquiring regarding your absconding Alternia Shipyards in a hurry with the known violetblood genius TAZSIA ERDEHN.

A few emails stand out.

Code: [Select]

From: tryptamineTaylor@grubmail.alt
To: Governator@Alternia.imp
Re: Colony Ship Status Requested

I Suppose It Is Time To Introduce Myself To You Not That You Are Not Familiar With My Work Considering That You Wear My Style.

Those Cloistered In The Brooding Caverns Have Been Observing The Advancement Of Our Frontier Among The Stars. I Have Seen
That The Latest Exploration Attempt For Another Star System Has Yielded Null Results For A Life Bearing Planet.

I Have Further Read Reports That The Second Expeditionary Vessel Is To Travel First To A Dead System. Is There Indication
Of Which Time The First Colonization Vessel May Be Launched.

TT

Colony ships are probably the most expensive vessels that can be launched for now. You need 200 standard units of food, consumer goods, and alloys to build and stock the ship for the Jadebloods to move it to another planet. The ship will also take a year to build, and perhaps another year to move to a nearby target considering the sheer mass of the thing. If you want to target worlds further away, expect it to take longer unless you have already constructed a shipyard in the system, a process that will in turn take a year or more. Assuming a habitable planet were discovered, it would probably take a full year or more to establish a system base, were it a single jump from Alternia.

Code: [Select]

From: grueLitigator@legiscorp.alt
To: Governator@Alternia.imp
Re: guttersprawl clearance

good news is i've sniffed out the solutions to your "guttersprawl issue". bad news is there are no implemented methods to reduce removal
cost below 300 billion credits. the difficulty is not on the legal end per se but in labor cost. by adopting traditions to better increase
the dominion of the governing systems of the empire, however, you can tell the opposition to increased efficiency and reduced labor costs to
box their chitinous windholes. This will reduce costs to 200 billion credits.

based on information i have access to given our data sharing agreement (authorised by section 69 paragraph 11), you can execute this
strategy in 20 months i.e. from 2201.11.02 using the half sweep calendar.

the benefits of this strategy include the ability to make yourself a colonial viceroy of the alternian empire which will further your skills
for many sweeps to come. you may also create dedicated enforcement legislacerator corps to clean up the  crime problem on alternia.

alternatively if you want to barf me out just wire me my cut of the 300 billion and we can get started cleaning up this grody slum.

GL

You don't have 300 billion in your account. You're saving up for Taszia... not in THAT sense.

Code: [Select]

From: Tr01101010101@grubnet.co.alt
To: Governator@Alternia.imp
Re: Rites of Ascent - ur invited

As Governator of Alternia Sector you are CORDIALLY INVITED to the Imperial Palace for the Rites of Ascent on 2200.03.16.

T
This message was flagged as compulsorarily high priority despite the large number of 1s and 0s in the address. However, attached to it is an official royal invite. You're gonna need to change course and return to Alternia as soon as possible.

> Aryknu: Explain balance of power to Bay 12 Reader


The fourth wall will need a cleanup and repair crew STAT now.

Aryknu, in frustration, points you to the relevant infodoc.

Trolls use Helium 3, D-D, and D-T fusion reaction for some surface reactors... which do not fit on starships at this point in time. Helium-3 and Deuterium is mostly mined on the ice giant Leus or its rings though thanks to the penal station there - and you're already in control of it. Surface power generation occurs using geothermal power and hydropower. The remaining opportunities for power generation at this time occur on a tempestuous mountain on Alternia. You note a lot of the Helium-3 resources are already close to monopolized by the position of Governator of Alternia Sector, and the Empress.

2200.03.11

> Bay12 Reader: Check on the science ship



You got lucky! The AIS Lookstub has just retrofired into polar orbit around the planet Xarmaton IV.

Gee, what is WRONG with this picture? I thought they'd fixed the pipe.

> Azdaja: Land



That's one small step for troll, one giant leap for the Alternian Empire!

Xarmaton IV is, as you noted on long distance scans, barren, and has a thin atmosphere, warm enough to not be "mostly frozen" or "totally an iceball", but still cold for liquid water. You need a space helmet to survive here. Arguably the cold isn't TOO severe here, or at least the primary mode for loss of heat is radiation, so you'll be fine in the low-pressure environment. Use of your point stumps unshielded is actually beneficial to fine manupulation of the environment. Your chitinous hide will survive the pressure differential fine, but not to the more mutant of your colleagues.

The planet is somewhat smaller than Alternia, but you'll need a decent rocket to lift off. With that in mind, you're probably stuck here for a few days until the In Situ Resource Alchemiter makes enough fuel.

> [S] Azdaja: Explore

Spoiler: Massive GIF (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Alternative mp4 (click to show/hide)

https://imgur.com/9V1ldra.mp4

A basic surface map has been made for your perusal, but there will be a lot of away missions by different folks. This is a new world and presents new opportunities. Imperial policy is to utilize all of them and inspect every nook and crevice, so you'll be exploring this planet for a while.

It would have helped to bring along a scuttlebuggy...

Spoiler: Big List of Sources, MAJOR SPOILERS (click to show/hide)

Again, the executive shuttle bedroom is from the Constellation Phoenix, Star Citizen.
The landing shuttle is based off of a pic of Elon Musk's starship.
Music clip for the mp4 version is "Explore", by George Buzinkai (Homestuck Vol. 2: Explore). If asked to I will take this version down.
The backdrop for Explore is thanks to NASA photos of Mars.

Next up: rise of the new Crown Princess and exploration of a Y-class brown dwarf system.

[CaptainArchmage]

Unfortunately, Imgur has crashed so you might have issues here.

[S] plates will have sound attached. I might take this down based on requests either from Toady or the Homestuck music artists who are credited but you'll still have to use a link as it doesn't autogif mp4s. Sound is jacked on the hyperjump video still and I can't upload a version with sound yet problem became an unproblem so it's linked with the sound and no sound versions noted.

2200.03.18
> Bay12 Reader: Be the Trizza Tethys Bitch

Trizza Tethys? Who? Oh. Right. She won't be hatched for many hundred sweeps.

Be aware 1 solar sweep is equivalent to 2 half-sweeps. A half-sweep coincidentally makes up a full "year".

> Bay12 Reader: OK, be the Crown... whatever... whose gonna take over?



You probably did well not to hang around the palace in person, given it is several hundred meters underwater.

You are TRIZZA CAEGAR. You are 12 sweeps old, which means you have passed the OLD THRESHOLD for adulthood on Alternia.

You are a great student of ARCHITECTURE and believe modernian Alternian architecture is a MASSIVE HELLSCAPE which no troll deserves to live in. It de-trollifies them and traps them in LABYRINTHINE MASSES OF ALTERNICRETE AND CARBONIZED FERRUM.

You have studied the POLITICAL WORKINGS AND INTRICACIES OF ALTERNIA and have noted several shortcomings leading to a LOSS OF UNITY and CULTURAL DAMAGE. You have some ideas on how to reform these.

You also have a large amount of LATENT PSYCHIC FORCE. Perhaps, one day, this will be better researched.

In order to conceal your identity you have a LARGE NUMBER OF ALTERNATIVE IDENTITIES and a considerable STACK OF FAKE IDs for use in Alternian Society. You also take commissions on making them.

You are quite adept with computers and getting UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS to systems. You're intelligent enough to know hacking isn't so much based on the speed of your typing, but on a combination of DROSS COFFER DIVING AND SOCIAL MANIPULMANCY. You are determined to use these for the betterment of society and not for undermining it though.

Lastly, you are a Fuchiablood and one of the few of your kind in the Alternian Empire. This puts you in quite an extraordinary position.

> [S] Trizza: Ascend

Spoiler: Hopey sheet we have a moovieee (click to show/hide)

https://i.imgur.com/ZKXa32j.mp4


Credit: Malcolm Brown, Toby Fox, and Mark Hadley

   The ceremony is long and drawn out, but at the end of it you are the CROWN PRINCESS of the Alternian Empire. Becoming Empress will take a while, probably another 70 or so solar sweeps, until the existing Empress uses up her lifespan. The galaxy is a large place and you look forward to developing the fresh colonies that are delivered into your fronds. However, you will take an active role behind the scenes. There is much to be done and it begins today.

2200.04.01

> Aryknu: Hire a New Scientist



You finally have the energy credits to hire a new scientist for the Pounce de Leon. She'll be a genius, and you know it.

Also you're tired of sharing the same executive shuttle. You did have to scarper quickly after the ceremony.

> Bay12 Reader: Be Tazsia



You are TAZSIA ERDEHN. You are an ABSOLUTE FUCKING GENIUS, at about 24 and a half sweeps old, you're on the higher end of the cohort of incoming scientists. You've been waiting for a position since you were 7 sweeps old and DESIGNING PARTICULAR ACCELERATORS and RECOUPERATION VATS and CRAZY NEUTRONIC DEATOMIZERS. Some of those may have been put to use. Any subject you're working on, you'll get a boost but you don't have any particular area of expertise, yet.

You get REALLY ANNOYED when others show their ignorance. You're also REALLY ANNOYED the other two prospective scientists were assigned to the AIS Lookstub. Doesn't matter, the galaxy is wide open for you to rack up some firsts.

You're glad to be off the shuttle and on a vessel with PROPER DECONTAMINATION PROCEDURES. You have brought your luggage and TWO TENSION STRINGED TUBEFLORA CASES with you... well fugg. Looks like one of the cases wasn't secured properly.

> Tazsia: Ascend to Scientistship



Finally! Your skills have now been recognized by your lesser, of all people and you can ascend to your rightful place as captain and head scientist aboard the AIS Pounce de Leon.

You're glad the bridge layout was changed. The previous one had a decent viewscreen but that looked to be bashed into the final setup as the designer forgot about it. Yes, that guy who had his fraternigrubity on at the coronation ceremony.

> Tazsia: Engage hyperdrive spool

The AIS Pounce de Leon is at the hyperspace point. You will waste no further in spooling up the drive. Your target is the Y-class brown dwarf, slightly towards the galactic rim. You order your CHIEF ENGINEER FOLYPA PENGIT, to ready the drive.

2200.04.15-2200.04.20


> [S] Tazsia: Jump to hyperspace

Spoiler: Movie Version with Jump (click to show/hide)

Sound Version
No Sound Version

This is it. You're finally headed to another star system, the second vessel in Alternian history to do so with a crew, and hopefully successfully. You have not been idle and the bugs should have been worked out...

You're going to be in hyperspace for about five days. Communications are still sketchy in here.

Your crew disengages the hyperdrive, unironically on a certain day of mirth... oh, not some highblood prank.

This system is TRAX OFKO... it looks like the rest of deep space... except on infra-red and on radar... The system is dark, save for the light produced from geothermal activity on the innermost planet and residual. The rest of the planets are barren, and there are two major cometary bodies. Walp.

It also appears that the third planet in the system has a moon, which is a new development.

Spoiler: Credits MAJOR SPOILERS (click to show/hide)

Troll Doll Creator http://www.farragofiction.com/DollSim/index.html?type=2
Music for S Trizza Ascend is Sound Judgement, by Malcolm Brown, Toby Fox, and Mark Hadley.
Music for S Tazsia jump to hyperspace is Calamity by Michael Guy Bowman.

Bridge for AIS the Pounce de Leon is the old enterprise.
Some scenes from the AIS Pounce de Leon are based on the Event Horizon.

Next up: We finish the hopefully-not-conksuck mining station. Some discoveries are made. Some potentially bad financial decisions are executed.

[CaptainArchmage]

This one took me a lot longer to put together but here it is. Be warned, some of the gifs use a lot of shake. There are no sound ones this time.

2200.05.01

> Darava: Finish Not-Consuck Mining Station Construction



The mining station around Felt has finally been finished! You really feel proud of yourself. This will provide ample minerals to the Empire. You have also built mining stations around every single planet now where it's viable... guess you're going to have to ask for more orders now.

Or take a break. You also got this feed from a remote construction unit.

> Darava: Ask what to do



You really don't want to have to do this, but a construction vessel idling in orbit around a moon of the Imperial capitol world isn't a good look and you don't want to get into any trouble.

You open a channel... oh, actually, you got mail.

> Darava: Get trollmailed

Looks like another loser with a juggle of letters at first but this did get buffed to alert level.

Code: [Select]

From: N00kb3473r9000@trollmail.alt
To: cinematographyConnoisseur@openmail.alt
Re: CONGRATULATION

so you PAILING FINALLY finished our first mining station in orbit around Felt. do you know how long it took for that to even get signed off.
i tell you what why dont you tell me how it got put on ur plate. i have the receipts as to what you were up to in the guttersprawl last sweep.
it would be a shame if they were to end up in the hands of a teal.

i dont need to tell you the conspirational background behind felt. like how the missions stopped just suddenly. like how nothing ever went
right and crews just disappeared. ive seen the governors signoff for the minerals. i saw the warrant which just got pushed to a violets signet. no sign
as to who gave them. this has gone too smoothly so tell me everything. comms logs anything thats not hooked up to a server and is archived the lot.
full fucking core dump. if i like your reply you can keep your command and ill keep you paid to idle for a bit.

p.s. get out of the system would you? like theres nothing more to be done here. suggest you take the xarmaton corridor.

Well shit, you're now in trouble but at least you have a way out. You order the comms officer to pull a full dump of the grub cores and transmit the data over to whoever this is.

> Darava: Return to Quarters



You really need a break now. You return to your quarters to think on what just happened.

> Darava: Peruse poster



You've had this poster behind the curtain for a reason.

Ah yes, Claudi 421. You'd dreamed of reaching the stars as a grub and then you ended up watching this movie. Back when the alternian space program was getting off the homeworld the Claudi program (named after SEMI-MYTHOLOGICAL DEMIHERO CLAUDI HERCAL) explored the moons of Alternia and finished with some of the more daring landings on asteroids. Missions to Felt were notoriously failure prone with six missions disappearing entirely without a trace and a notably shortened life expectancy of crews, even violetbloods. After the 420th mission, the program was cancelled and replaced with a more prosiac base project on the pink moon, Tyrus. Twenty sweeps after THAT, this movie came out. That was many sweeps ago of course.

You couldn't sleep right for a long time after that, even with an extra layer of sopor slime. You were able to therapize your way out of in the end though. Flesh-eating space crabs aren't really that scary, are they?

> Darava: Pull yourself together

Spoiler: Animated Version (click to show/hide)

It's not like the core contains anything compromising, right? Plus that odd alert... oh...

You're not doing well at pulling yourself together on this. You're good at pulling yourself together on "we made a few mistakes and accidentally blew up the station" matters with a laugh. Not quite at "you actually made this work for the first time in Alternian history and it shouldn't have worked".

> Darava: Set course for the stairs!



Stairs? What stairs? There's no stairs here, only ladders. You are, however, finally GOING TO THE STARS.

You're going to Xarmaton. This will be the third successful hyperspace jump in Imperial history, at least one carrying crew. You think. You make your way back to the bridege and set a course, which is to say your subordinates calculate the course for you.

Once again, you feel the pounding ignition of the engines, and the fully fuelled vessel begins its journey towards the now-explored hyperspace point. The journey to orbit around Xarmaton will take 70 days, and you'll probably reach the hyperspace conduit in half that. Time to watch some old chucklecinema and get the last few hours out of your mind!

2200.05.03

> Tazsia: Enter Orbit around Trax Ofko IV



The retrothrusters of the Pounce de Leon put you into a polar orbit around the body, which has around the same mass as Scorist, but a lower mass. It's not molten, but the surface ain't too cold either.

>Tazsia: Check Health and Safety Procedures and Launch if Safe



You're a friggin genius. You're not going to let stupid things like "Health and Safety" prevent you from making discoveries. You have your TRUSTY SPACE HELMET with you. You enter a shuttle, check the system, and retrofire, lowering your orbit.

Oldest trick in the book of space tricks: by reducing your orbital period, you will first move behind, and then ahead of the Pounce de Leon.

> Tazsia: Scan atmosphere



Using a laser, you're able to measure the height, density, and maybe the composition of the atmosphere of the planet. As you suspected, this world probably won't be hosting any kind of primitive life on the surface. However, there are plenty of places it could still be hiding.

> Tazsia: Descend



It's pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a -

No, you're not. At least you hope not. That said, you're here now, and your LOGICAL AND RATIONAL MIND is not merely capable of discerning stuff but also identifying the limits on what you can know. Perhaps, many thousands of years ago, another race came forth from the stars. Perhaps they're still here.

There's even evidence of it on Alternia.

You're going to be here exploring for a while though. The policy of checking every nook and cranny that's pursued by the Empress is quite strict, and you've got to send away teams everywhere. Being on the job makes you think you need more science ships and more scientists. Finding things here is going to be reward enough.

Spoiler: Credits MAJOR SPOILERS (click to show/hide)

Once again the construction vessel of the interior is "inspired" read ripped off from the Nostromo.
Troll Doll creator is used for the figures, photopea and photomosh for gifs. Clideo used to patch together gifs and videos.
Lunar lander photo credit NASA, soyuz re-entry pic credit NASA.
Genius shuttle is the C8 Pisces from Star Citizen

NEXT UP: Maybe we'll get to the bad financial decisions right?

[CaptainArchmage]

Trust me this wasn't abandoned. However, the pace of the game really achieved escape velocity when I'm just filling out stuff from the outset. In the distant future of HALF SWEEP 22XX Alternia has made first contact with... well... not sure what. "They" arrived in Pyral (the star system), and are believed to be space lusi. But that's in the future.

Yes, some of the cuts go over a while. And there's some MAJOR DISCOVERIES on Xarmaton I.

> Bay 12 Reader: See where the Jegus Christ we're fuckin' at

It is...

2200.05.24

Which is to say some months into Solar Sweep 1100. You're not sure what season it is, and you probably don't want to check outside because it's been pissing down with acid rain for the last few planetary rotations. You could jump on the net, but this part of the guttersprawl is pretty rough and you'll probably get your data swiped the moment you hook up to the WiFi. Man, they really need to gentrify this place don't they?

> Bay 12 Reader: See what Darava is doing.

Ah yes, Darava Hongim. Let's take a look. They seem to be on the verge of a major achievement.

> [S] Darava: Reach Hyperspace Conduit and REACH FOR THE STARS

Spoiler: Conksuck Video version on IMGUR !!TRIGGER WARNING BRIGHT LIGHTS!! (click to show/hide)

https://imgur.com/IJggtnC

You reached the hyperspace conduit 3 days ago are spooling the drive. Thankfully nothing has broken or blown up yet. You're not the first to reach this, but you're the first in the Alternian Empire to follow a charted conduit.

... and FINALLY! The DRIVE BREACHES INTO HYPERSPACE and LAUNCHES YOU THROUGH THE STARS. Boom.

This will take a few days... you finally leave hyperspace into the Xarmaton system. Phew! Looks like everything is in one piece... you hope...

ETA in orbit around Xarmaton is 34 days. You'll probably waiting until you get a royal warrant to build the frontier outpost though...

... and FINALLY! The thrusters finally put you into a parking orbit suitable for construction of a frontier outpost! Now you're going to just have to wait... well, you'll be waiting a while, actually.

2200.05.30

> Azdaja: [S] Explore Cavern

Spoiler: Conksuck Video Version (click to show/hide)

https://imgur.com/vLd08Lt

This was once a gigantic lava tube, but it became inundated with a flow of liquid water at some point in the distant past, leaving behind carbonate minerals. You've been sending teams down here for the last week, after Zekura discovered a life-filled cavern on the other side of the planet. So for, your endeavours here aren't as fruitful.

Oh, look. This is new.

> Azdaja: Report Anomaly



You have plenty of good news to report back home.

Spoiler: Trolling Log (click to show/hide)

radioactiveArcheologist [RA] began trolling TraditionalAristocrat [TA]

rA: got some good news boss x:3
rA: u there x:3
TA: Please report the nature of this good news.
rA: well we found a potential artefact x:3
TA: Please describe the nature of the artefact.
rA: well boss we need more time x:3 we found an astrocartographic chart in a cave here x:3 i estimate it will take 120 days to explore it currently x:3
TA: That is quite the "catch".
rA: so boss your the first person on alternia to know we discovered intelligent alien life x:3
TA: That would be a matter for the diplomatic team. Please pass along the information you have and I will get the processes started.
rA: well i dont have like a phone number its like only intelligent life would be capable of creating this chart but its thousands of years old x:-/
TA: Do you have anything further to report.
rA: well theres also life here in a cavern its like in a very deep cave which can sustain a higher pressure and is mostly sealed x:3 the planet must have had a really big ecosystem at some point in the past x:3
TA: Is anything there edible?
rA: well that would go against health and safety protocol boss i can send along a sample later maybe but i wouldnt want you getting hurt x:3
rA: im passing the information back to the society department boss x:3 so no worries x:3
TA: Carry on then.
rA: oh by the way boss x:3 i gotta ask
TA: What is the matter now.
rA: being a modest troll im gonna just suggest u order a third science ship x:3
TA: Please be aware I have already considered that option. As you realise, the scientific endeavours of the Empire are not the only major concern present. High on my list of concerns is the clearance of the guttersprawl surrounding the greater hivestem area. I shall need to assign considerable budget to that function. I also endeavor to appoint a general. The existing budget of the Empire does not allow for appointing a scientist at this time.
rA: but boss i can suggest someone for you x:3
rA: actually i can suggest two people for you x:3
TA: You have my attention.
rA: first suggestion is occeus pomace hes my chief engineer and has expertise in voidcraft x:3
rA: second is zekura captis shes my xo x:3 x:3 x:3
TA: Let it be known that your suggestions shall be considered in the running.

> Azdaja: Publish Research



Congratulations! You have just finished exploration of another extrapyralian planet. This one was a truely bumper experience.

Conditions on Xarmaton IV are radically different to those on any known planets. Xarmaton IV is a CARBON PLANET which means the atmosphere consists of mostly carbon dioxide and the processes are REDUCIDATING rather than OXIDATING. Such worlds have a STEEL CORE and the depths contain VAST RESERVES OF EXOTIC DIAMONDS.

The deep caverns are home to ALIEN LIFE but they are sealed. It appears life either evolved in those sealed caverns, or was more widespread on the surface in the past. Maybe the planet can be terraformed, but that's a long shot now even with POWERFUL ABILITECH.

Lastly, there's the cartographic chart. You have a copy of this now. It's the second or third indicator of intelligent alien life in the past. The other two pieces of evidence are on Alternia.

[CaptainArchmage]

Another update, in which more discoveries end up in the pipeline.

2200.05.30

> Azdaja: Admit what you already knew



Aside from alleged evidence of action from beyond the stars in eons past, the discovery of alien life seemed inevitable before this moment. Expecting the rest of the universe to be devoid of life was much like taking a spoonful of water and judging the oceans to be empty of fish.

> Azdaja: Leave orbit



Your next destination is XARMATON I, the ringed planet closest to the star. This is a MOLTEN WORLD which you can . You fire up the thrusters on the AIS Lookstub. ETA is two weeks.

> Aryknu: Take note of advice and place a trade



It's the last day of the month. You take heed of prior advice, and get someone on the line to trade a considerable number minerals for refined alloys.

2200.06.01

> Aryknu: Order new science ship



You're not going far without a new science vessel. You had this planned, but one of your lessers pre-empting it for you just pushed you over the edge. You're now determined to order not just one, but TWO new science ships. Maybe, make that THREE science ships.

You call the Pyral Shipyards commander and place the order.

2200.06.16

> Azdaja: [S] Enter orbit around Xarmaton I

Spoiler: Hopey shit we have sound! Feature Length here... (click to show/hide)

https://imgur.com/I2rdR6O

The retrothrusters put you into polar orbit around Xarmaton I. It is a molten world of similar size to Alternia, closest to the system's star, and you can see the glow of lava even in orbit around the dark side. You can't wait to discover the mysteries on this planet...

Spoiler: Credits (click to show/hide)

Troll dolls same as previous. Other credits on the .webm movie link. Red frog temple is from Homestuck (it's the desert one).

[CaptainArchmage]

Back with an update that should have been, well... posted a LONG time ago. Last time, we ended up with the discovery of the remains of an alien civilization... which had been obliterated by a planet-wide resurfacing event of sorts.

2200.07.21

> [S] Aryknu: Launch Science Ship

Spoiler: Sound Version! (click to show/hide)

https://imgur.com/FbqSTt2

Once again, you have the honor of presiding over the launch of a new science ship. This will be the AIS... Mirthful Idolatry. You don't know who thought that was a good name for a ship but here you are... oh... hang on... fuck...

Spoiler: OHSHI- (click to show/hide)

Aryknu Varnis has been CORNERED!
?: So HerEs WheR ThE So-CALed GRuBenAtOr HaS BeEn HiDinG
?: i GUESs wE DiD Not ThiNk ThaT YouD TrY To GEt OuT Of Ur DEAl SO SoOn.
Rypete Adalov: Oh this is gonna be FUN!
Rypete Adalov: Allow me to introduce my new vessel.

This is going to be some MAJOR Auspisticism.

2200.07.23

> Tazsia: Complete research

Spoiler: GIF Version! (click to show/hide)

You finally pin down the source of anomalous gravitational waves: turns out there is a small natural wormhole near the planet. The thing also appears to be on the verge of collapse in the next few months... this calls for immediate investigation. You'll need backup for exploring this system now though, as you'll be here six months. Fuck.

Oh look, someone's already taken an interest in this thing...

Spoiler: Trolling Log (click to show/hide)

tr41lbl4z1ngC164R [TC] began trolling absolutistGenius [AG]
TC: good job you.
AG: OK HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW
TC: word gets around fast. your on the news. now spill the fart niblets.
AG: WHAT NOW
TC: its a warm barren planet in a system with no sun.
AG: OH COME ON READ THE FUCKING REPORT
AG: RADIOACTIVE MANTLE AND SHIT
AG: CRYOGEYSERS TOO ITS LIKE COLDER BUT NOT TOO COLD
TC: makes sense
AG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ANYWAY
TC: the wormhole will collapse in months.
AG: IT WILL BE FINE THIS IS A BIT ABOVE MY GRADE RIGHT NOW I NEED MORE TIME OUT HERE
TC: we cant afford that. take time to investigate.
AG: OK AND WHO THE FUCK WILL EXPLORE THE REST OF THE SYSTEM
TC: a new science vessel has been launched. if you ask the vessel will be redirect.
TC: i have the governors pail tapes

> Bay 12 Reader: Take a look inside the wormhole



You do realize that's an absolutely terribad idea, don't you?

Oh.

Fugg.

Spoiler: Credits (click to show/hide)

"Credits: Music sourced from John: Mental Breakdown" - for Sound Version

[CaptainArchmage]

SWEEPS IN THE FUTURE

> [S] ? ? ?

Spoiler: Hopey sheet we have a sound version (click to show/hide)

https://imgur.com/h1cshIC

Spoiler: The Known Galaxy (click to show/hide)

Damn, you weren't able to scan the system in time! Looks like the Pan-Galactic Accord will soon be taking over this system. There is, however, an alternative option, to head forth TWO systems. If you can manage that, you'll be in reasonable shape to get an IMPERIAL CLAIM DOWN.

Alternatively, you can save the influence for consolidating claims expanding SECTOR ALTERNIA. This is going to call for some... consultations.

Do you press onto the seemingly unclaimed system? Or do you use the large volume of influence to claim more systems closer to home?

New poll is out!