Yeah, this is not gonna be reality, ever, that is a fact. But is still fun to speculate.
Name: Urist McDwarf
Series: Dwarf Fortress
Trailer Tagline: Destroys Everything He Sees!
Bio: A warrior of pure madness. Will not hesitate on doing anything that will benefit him. Enemy of nature, enemy of civilisation. Enemy of chaos, enemy of peace.
Sound: A raspy, cold warcry of a man.
Pose: Standing still, looking directly at the player, seething with hatred.
Icon: A broken pickaxe.
Stats:
Height: Low
Weight: High
Power: High
Speed: Medium
Jumps: Medium
Can crawl?: No
Intro: Simply walking to the battlefield, fuming along the way.
Stand animation: Stand still, angrily taking deep breaths.
Walking animation: Stern, long strides. Leaned foward a bit
Running animation: Same as walking, but more agressive.
Falling animation: His stance does not changes, lands on two feet without a movement.
Up Taunt: Thrusts his axe into the air, striking a honorful pose.
Side Taunt: Materialises a glass of booze, and drinks it with vigor.
Down Taunt: Slams the ground with a warhammer.
Final Smash: Urist will hit the opponent with a giant warhammer, which launches the opponent to the HFS, into a crowd of demons, which devour them alive.
Victory Theme: A small jingle from the beginning of the menu theme.
Victory Pose: He just walks away.
Lose Pose: He just stares.
Punch Out Stage Alias: Urist: The Insanity Unbound!
Stage: Boatmurdered
Stage description: A charred, lifeless field littered with remnants of countless dead beings.
Stage hazards: Miasma, pools of lava and vomit, elephants, sydrome-inducing gaseous emmisions.
Stage music: Screaming.
Assist Trophies: Goblins, who just run around stabbing everyone.