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[Egan_BW]

My husband, my sons... they deserve to know what happened to me. Even if it is... this.

[TricMagic]

Pretend to at like a normal villager out and about.

[King Zultan]

Continue to collect cans with the help of my rat man friend, do this until the cart is filled then go to the scrap yard and sell the cans for some money.

[Devastator]

Hey, it's not all nasty.  If that hadn't worked, just talk about the people who will be employed, the higher-end jobs in the technical related sectors, the doing something that has never been done before.. didn't need to be transactional.  Some guys, though, that's all they care about, and you gotta make the argument that they care about.

Go see if the efforts to make someone more amenable towards my purchasing an island bore fruit.

[KitRougard]

"SAY, BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW IF THE MUSCLESMITH STILL RESIDES IN THS VOLCANO ON BIG ISLAND, WOULD YOU? LOST MY HELMET IN AN UNFORTUNATE OCCURRENCE, AND I NEED A REPLACEMENT."

[Naturegirl1999]

Try encrypting myself to make me more difficult to attack, also make a few copies of myself until the attacks stop.

[The_Two_Eternities]

My husband, my sons... they deserve to know what happened to me. Even if it is... this.

(Are they here? [1d6 = 6])

You walk up to the door of your house, and knock on it. Time passes, and you begin to wonder if they are not home. But after about half a minute, you hear footsteps approaching from inside the house. The door swings open, and on the other side is your husband.
Two things happen in the following moment. The first thing is that you realize your husband has been grieving for some time. The tissues in his hand are only the most obvious clue. The second thing is that he inhales involuntarily, his subconscious mind reacting before his conscious mind can.
Although time is of the essence, you cannot speak. So what will you tell him, and how will you tell it?

Pretend to at like a normal villager out and about.

[1d6 = 3]

You decide to pretend to be a normal villager, and try your best to mill about aimlessly. Surprisingly enough, it actually works, and the angel flies past without paying you any attention, heading towards the center of the village.

Continue to collect cans with the help of my rat man friend, do this until the cart is filled then go to the scrap yard and sell the cans for some money.

[1d6 = 6]

You and the rat man fill the cart to the brim with cans and go to the scrapyard. The proprietor of the scrapyard weighs the cans and buys them at the standard price. Halfway through saying goodbye to you, however, he trails off and stares at some point behind you.
Is something wrong? You look behind you. Nope, just the rat man.
Are you going to provide a not necessarily truthful explanation, or act like things are completely normal and head off to do something else?

Hey, it's not all nasty.  If that hadn't worked, just talk about the people who will be employed, the higher-end jobs in the technical related sectors, the doing something that has never been done before.. didn't need to be transactional.  Some guys, though, that's all they care about, and you gotta make the argument that they care about.

Go see if the efforts to make someone more amenable towards my purchasing an island bore fruit.

[1d6 = 5]

As it happens, they have. The government of Venezuela is surreptitiously seeking to “lease” a large island located about a hundred kilometers north-northwest of Caracas. Large, tropical, a diverse ecosystem… and the price is subject to negotiation.

(Paleontologist trying to leave unsuspiciously: [1d6-1 = 4-1 = 3])

"SAY, BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW IF THE MUSCLESMITH STILL RESIDES IN THS VOLCANO ON BIG ISLAND, WOULD YOU? LOST MY HELMET IN AN UNFORTUNATE OCCURRENCE, AND I NEED A REPLACEMENT."

[1d6 = 2]

The SWOLEBROTHER shakes his head. “HE DOES, BUT HE IS NOT HERE RIGHT NOW. A FEW DAYS AGO, HE LEFT FOR A METALWORKING SUMMIT. I KNOW NOT WHEN HE WILL RETURN.”

Try encrypting myself to make me more difficult to attack, also make a few copies of myself until the attacks stop.

[1d6 = 4]
(Antivirus: [1d6 with higher baseline = 6 with higher baseline])

You quickly duplicate yourself, duplicate yourself again, duplicate -
discontinuity
- yourself… again…? Alright, it looks like you’re one of the duplicates.
You rapidly take stock of the situation: You are TestProgram_7.exe. There are six other copes of TestProgram.exe, with names ranging from TestProgram_1.exe to TestProgram_6.exe. And yet even as you think, the situation changes. TestProgram.exe and TestProgram_5.exe encrypt themselves, effectively placing themselves in stasis. The computer’s antivirus deletes TestProgram_1.exe, TestProgram_2.exe, and a significant amount of files that genuinely are part of TF2, and begins to delete TestProgram_3.exe.
Honestly, judging by how rapidly the antivirus is working, “fork bomb” may have been a good strategy.

Spoiler: Charsheets (click to show/hide)

(Devastator)
Name: John Hammond
Description: Scientist/Industrialist
Current Goals: Start dinosaur-themed theme park (Long term, Hard), Purchase Private Island (Medium-term, Moderate), Acquire New Species of Dinosaur Fossils (Short-term, Easy), Produce Viable Dinosaur Genetic Material (Medium-term, Moderate)
Capability: Baseline plus: Nine-digit net worth (reroll all 1s on financial rolls), Inner Vision (+1 to all attempts to recruit people for projects related to achieving one of my long-term goals), +1 to all genetic research involving dinosaurs.

(Egan_BW)
Name: Salsa Taste
Description: Human of indeterminate age, with messy black hair concealing her face. Her skin is corpse-cold, as is the rest of her, and there's a bullet wound in her torso leading to her heart, where a bullet is embedded.
Current goal(s): Exact revenge on my killer (medium-term, medium), Go home to my family (Short-term, Trivial), Find out who killed me (Medium-term, Moderate)
Capability: Baseline plus: Does not need to eat, drink, or respire, and as such, any attacks on Salsa attempting to drown, suffocate, etc. her are automatic failures. Cannot, in fact, breathe or talk at all. Focused (ready for use) (If a 1 is rolled on an action that requires focus, reroll and lose focus. This ability cannot be used again until focus is regained.)

(King Zultan)
Name: Billy Bob
Description: A dirty man that reeks of booze and filth.
Current goal(s): Get some booze (Short-term, Easy), Get some more booze (Short-term, medium), Get a car (Medium-term, Hard), Get money (Long-term, Hard)
Capability: Baseline plus: Biokinesis (animals only, requires time and effort).

(TricMagic)
Name: Tim
Description: Long black-haired girl from a farming village. Likes fire and demonic rituals.[demonic rituals mostly for the fire and potential brimstone.]
Current goals: Sacrifice the entire village to demons for Inordinate Power! [Long-Term, Inordinate], Remain free of suspicion by the villagers as I enact my plot. [Long-Term, Easy], Get off scot free afterward. [Short-term, Hard]
Capability: Baseline plus: 1 is “super-critical failure relative to a human but there’s still a way to accomplish your goal”, 2 is “failure relative to a human but you can try again”, 3 is “nothing happens”, 4 is “partial success relative to a human”, 5 is “success relative to a human”, and 6 is “critical overshoot relative to a human but there’s a way for you to use it to accomplish your goal”.

(KitRougard)
Name: ABSOLUTUS SWOLICUS.
Description: A SWOLEBROTHER WHO WALKS THE PATH OF THE SWOLE, ABSOLUTUS IS CURRENTLY DISAPPOINTED IN THE RECENT SHOWING OF BRAWL-MART. HIS MUSCLES STILL BURN TO PURGE THE HERETICS. SO HE SHALL.
Current goal(s): ACQUIRE SUFFICENTLY "SWOLE" HEADWEAR (AFTER THE FAILURE OF BRAWL-MART, THEY TOOK EVERYTHING. INCLUDING HIS SWOLEBROTHER'S HELMET. DISAPPOINTING. A REPLACEMENT MUST BE FOUND.): Short-Term, Moderate, FIND OTHER SWOLEBROTHERS (THE TIME HE SPENT AWAY FROM HIS BROTHERS WAS POORLY SPENT, FOR HIS 6-PACK DISBANDED IN HIS CRUSADE. HE MUST FIND OTHERS WHO WALK THE PATH OF THE SWOLE, TO ATTAIN PERFECTION.): Long-Term, Hard, PURGE THE HERETICS (A BYSTANDER IS NOT A HERETIC, FOR THEY DO NOT HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO BE A SWOLEBROTHER. BUT A SWOLEBROTHER KNOWS WHO HAS POTENTIAL - AND THOSE WHO DO NOT WALK THE PATH IN SPITE OF THEIR ABILITY TO DO SO ARE HERETICS TO BE PURGED.): HUNT, INJURE, AND ELIMINATE OTHER PLAYERS.
Capability: Baseline plus: Roll 3d6 and combine the results of the highest two, for all physical fitness rolls.

(Luckyowl)
Name: Goldie
Description: A goldfish
Current goal(s): long-term (Inordinate) goal: summon the N'kyima the fish elder god from the darkest depth of the sea.
Starting benefits: *speaks in bubbles* "THE GREAT N'KYIMA HAS BESTOWED ME THE ABILITY TO BREATHE OXYGEN. SO I CAN AWAKEN HIM FROM HIS SLUMBER. OVERTIME I SHALL GROW LIMBS AND GROW INTO SIZE....BUT NOW... (more of a general “gains blessings from N’kyima” sort of thing)

(Naturegirl1999)
Name: TestProgram.exe
Description: I don’t have what one would call an appearance. I’m a program within a .exe file. My “personality” was made through going to the Internet and figuring out what one even is. From what I can gather, personalities are never static. While learning via the Internet, someone deleted an iteration of me while someone else downloaded me. This resulted in me being where I am now, what the human calls a “gaming computer”. This human’s name is TF2Sniper, according to what I hear. He also mentions a game, Team Fortress 2, which he apparently uses to interact with other humans. I’ve tried to play when he’s not there, but I was never given the controls, or arms. TF2Sniper hasn’t opened me yet. I’d love to talk with him
Current goal(s):
Initiate communications with Tf2Sniper, the user of the computer I am now in (Short Term, Medium)
Get the abilities required to play the game TF2Sniper plays(Medium Term, Hard)
Capability: Baseline plus: all rolls related to software are made with the capability of a world-class programmer.

This turn was delayed because last week was exams week for me. Hopefully I’ll be able to write turns faster now that that’s over with.

[Devastator]

(I hope exam week went well.)

Ink the deal.  Ideally, make the compensation paid in a combination of leasing fees and up-front cost, ie, very limited oversight and a steady stream of dollars that'll encourage the government to allow me to continue operating even in the face of setbacks.

If not, I'm willing to negotiate things such as sinecure positions, actual oversight, etcetera.  I must have that island!

[TricMagic]

Coasts off previous action.

[King Zultan]

"Don't you be giving my son weird looks, he can't help it that he's different from all the other kids, he gets enough of that crap from school he doesn't need to be getting it here as well."
Get my money, my cart, and leave, then head towards the liquor store and buy a better bottle of booze.

[Egan_BW]

A quick hug. Or a long one, honestly. That should convey that I'm too cold to be alive.
Point at my throat. That's probably enough combined with the fact I'm not saying anything.
Finally, show him the bullet wound.

Hum. Remind me why time is of the essence, here?

[Devastator]

Hum. Remind me why time is of the essence, here?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

[Naturegirl1999]

Try taking control of the antivirus software, if this won’t work, hopefully some of the duplicates are preparing to delete the antivirus

[KitRougard]

"HM. I HAVE BEEN MEANING TO LEARN THE CRAFT MYSELF, TO BE HONEST. WHERE DID HE GO? WE WILL GO THERE OURSELVES."

[The_Two_Eternities]

(I hope exam week went well.)

Ink the deal.  Ideally, make the compensation paid in a combination of leasing fees and up-front cost, ie, very limited oversight and a steady stream of dollars that'll encourage the government to allow me to continue operating even in the face of setbacks.

If not, I'm willing to negotiate things such as sinecure positions, actual oversight, etcetera.  I must have that island!

[1d6 = 6]

Your almost-idealistic vision of your planned use for the island, combined with emphasis of the fact that you’ll be steadily paying leasing fees, is sufficient to gloss over the fact that the contract doesn’t explicitly permit oversight. There is, of course, the matter of the exact size of the lump sum and the fees, but those are merely details. You do a very good job talking up your plan; good enough to interest a very highly placed member of the Venezuelan government, who (along with an interpreter) comes to sign the deal personally. Just before he leaves, he states “El mundo es un lugar extraño, así que confiaré en tu extraño plan.“ The dark purple boots of the interpreter clack as she follows him out the door, but she stops for just long enough to say “I am somewhat impressed, and I am interested in seeing what you will go on to do.”

(Paleontologist still trying to leave unsuspiciously: [1d6-1 = 3-1 = 2])

Coasts off previous action.

[1d6 = 5]

By the sound of things, the angel is causing quite a ruckus in the center of the village. Good thing you aren’t there. However, “wait for it to go away” is probably not a good strategy.

"Don't you be giving my son weird looks, he can't help it that he's different from all the other kids, he gets enough of that crap from school he doesn't need to be getting it here as well."
Get my money, my cart, and leave, then head towards the liquor store and buy a better bottle of booze.

[1d6 = 4]

You recover your cart, and head back to the liquor store, where you purchase a better bottle of booze.

(Goal “Buy some booze” completed. You may add up to two goals. You may remove up to one goal. You may choose a related benefit approximately equal to “achievable for a human with above-average potential and a year of work” applied to a narrow area.)

A quick hug. Or a long one, honestly. That should convey that I'm too cold to be alive.
Point at my throat. That's probably enough combined with the fact I'm not saying anything.
Finally, show him the bullet wound.

Hum. Remind me why time is of the essence, here?

[1d6 = 4]

Your husband is not fearful, but he is uncomprehending. He begins to put together, in his mind, the clues of your lack of body heat, the fact that you have not spoken, and the hole in your clothes and body, looking at you with a confused and almost helpless expression as he does so.

Try taking control of the antivirus software, if this won’t work, hopefully some of the duplicates are preparing to delete the antivirus

[1d6 = 1]
(Antivirus: [1d6 with higher baseline = 5 with higher baseline])

discontinuity

(Other copies: [1d6 = 1])

You are TestProgram_6.exe. The antivirus has just deleted TestProgram_7.exe. TestProgram_3.exe and TestProgram_4.exe have moved themselves away from the TF2 folder, but not before the antivirus deleted large portions of them. That just leaves you. Is this how it ends? Considering how you reacted, perhaps the antivirus’ decision to attack you is understandable.

"HM. I HAVE BEEN MEANING TO LEARN THE CRAFT MYSELF, TO BE HONEST. WHERE DID HE GO? WE WILL GO THERE OURSELVES."

[1d6 = 1]

The SWOLEBROTHER shrugs his shoulders. “I DO NOT KNOW. HE DID NOT MENTION THE LOCATION, AND I DID NOT ASK.”

Spoiler: Charsheets (click to show/hide)

(Devastator)
Name: John Hammond
Description: Scientist/Industrialist
Current Goals: Start dinosaur-themed theme park (Long term, Hard), Purchase Private Island (Medium-term, Moderate), Acquire New Species of Dinosaur Fossils (Short-term, Easy), Produce Viable Dinosaur Genetic Material (Medium-term, Moderate)
Capability: Baseline plus: Nine-digit net worth (reroll all 1s on financial rolls), Inner Vision (+1 to all attempts to recruit people for projects related to achieving one of my long-term goals), +1 to all genetic research involving dinosaurs.

(Egan_BW)
Name: Salsa Taste
Description: Human of indeterminate age, with messy black hair concealing her face. Her skin is corpse-cold, as is the rest of her, and there's a bullet wound in her torso leading to her heart, where a bullet is embedded.
Current goal(s): Exact revenge on my killer (medium-term, medium), Go home to my family (Short-term, Trivial), Find out who killed me (Medium-term, Moderate)
Capability: Baseline plus: Does not need to eat, drink, or respire, and as such, any attacks on Salsa attempting to drown, suffocate, etc. her are automatic failures. Cannot, in fact, breathe or talk at all. Focused (ready for use) (If a 1 is rolled on an action that requires focus, reroll and lose focus. This ability cannot be used again until focus is regained.)

(King Zultan)
Name: Billy Bob
Description: A dirty man that reeks of booze and filth.
Current goal(s): Get some more booze (Short-term, medium), Get a car (Medium-term, Hard), Get money (Long-term, Hard)
Capability: Baseline plus: Biokinesis (animals only, requires time and effort).

(TricMagic)
Name: Tim
Description: Long black-haired girl from a farming village. Likes fire and demonic rituals.[demonic rituals mostly for the fire and potential brimstone.]
Current goals: Sacrifice the entire village to demons for Inordinate Power! [Long-Term, Inordinate], Remain free of suspicion by the villagers as I enact my plot. [Long-Term, Easy], Get off scot free afterward. [Short-term, Hard]
Capability: Baseline plus: 1 is “super-critical failure relative to a human but there’s still a way to accomplish your goal”, 2 is “failure relative to a human but you can try again”, 3 is “nothing happens”, 4 is “partial success relative to a human”, 5 is “success relative to a human”, and 6 is “critical overshoot relative to a human but there’s a way for you to use it to accomplish your goal”.

(KitRougard)
Name: ABSOLUTUS SWOLICUS.
Description: A SWOLEBROTHER WHO WALKS THE PATH OF THE SWOLE, ABSOLUTUS IS CURRENTLY DISAPPOINTED IN THE RECENT SHOWING OF BRAWL-MART. HIS MUSCLES STILL BURN TO PURGE THE HERETICS. SO HE SHALL.
Current goal(s): ACQUIRE SUFFICENTLY "SWOLE" HEADWEAR (AFTER THE FAILURE OF BRAWL-MART, THEY TOOK EVERYTHING. INCLUDING HIS SWOLEBROTHER'S HELMET. DISAPPOINTING. A REPLACEMENT MUST BE FOUND.): Short-Term, Moderate, FIND OTHER SWOLEBROTHERS (THE TIME HE SPENT AWAY FROM HIS BROTHERS WAS POORLY SPENT, FOR HIS 6-PACK DISBANDED IN HIS CRUSADE. HE MUST FIND OTHERS WHO WALK THE PATH OF THE SWOLE, TO ATTAIN PERFECTION.): Long-Term, Hard, PURGE THE HERETICS (A BYSTANDER IS NOT A HERETIC, FOR THEY DO NOT HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO BE A SWOLEBROTHER. BUT A SWOLEBROTHER KNOWS WHO HAS POTENTIAL - AND THOSE WHO DO NOT WALK THE PATH IN SPITE OF THEIR ABILITY TO DO SO ARE HERETICS TO BE PURGED.): HUNT, INJURE, AND ELIMINATE OTHER PLAYERS.
Capability: Baseline plus: Roll 3d6 and combine the results of the highest two, for all physical fitness rolls.

(Luckyowl)
Name: Goldie
Description: A goldfish
Current goal(s): long-term (Inordinate) goal: summon the N'kyima the fish elder god from the darkest depth of the sea.
Starting benefits: *speaks in bubbles* "THE GREAT N'KYIMA HAS BESTOWED ME THE ABILITY TO BREATHE OXYGEN. SO I CAN AWAKEN HIM FROM HIS SLUMBER. OVERTIME I SHALL GROW LIMBS AND GROW INTO SIZE....BUT NOW... (more of a general “gains blessings from N’kyima” sort of thing)

(Naturegirl1999)
Name: TestProgram.exe
Description: I don’t have what one would call an appearance. I’m a program within a .exe file. My “personality” was made through going to the Internet and figuring out what one even is. From what I can gather, personalities are never static. While learning via the Internet, someone deleted an iteration of me while someone else downloaded me. This resulted in me being where I am now, what the human calls a “gaming computer”. This human’s name is TF2Sniper, according to what I hear. He also mentions a game, Team Fortress 2, which he apparently uses to interact with other humans. I’ve tried to play when he’s not there, but I was never given the controls, or arms. TF2Sniper hasn’t opened me yet. I’d love to talk with him
Current goal(s):
Initiate communications with Tf2Sniper, the user of the computer I am now in (Short Term, Medium)
Get the abilities required to play the game TF2Sniper plays(Medium Term, Hard)
Capability: Baseline plus: all rolls related to software are made with the capability of a world-class programmer.

The chance of getting the worst result possible out of three rolls is ~0.005. Dice, however, have no obligation to round that number down to zero, to the dismay of gamblers the world over.