Why am I so bad at the only game I ever play?Astesh Cogzeg - Novice GhostHaving seen the other spirits work their haunting magic upon the dwarves of Boomstick, I think I have a decent idea of what to do.
I influence the architect to extend a wall, adding to some original plans to build a new dormitory. The dormitory is set to be the corpse stockpile. Blinded by their paychecks, the workers don't think twice about it.
Meanwhile, I see how everyone is feeling. Surely they're at their limits!
I'm going to murder every dwarf here.
Focusing my energy, I try my hardest to summon a fear-inducing creep from the depths of hell!
Well. She's friendly, but she is much closer to what I wanted than a very cute pony.
Speaking of cute ponies. The elves arrived. Just behind them were the dryads.
A foul plot transpired! I suggested upon the feeble mind of delphonso to Pull the Lever.
Hahaha! Soon those travellers will go mad. I'd hate to be the dwarf to clean the place up afterwards! Oh, Astesh, you devilish dog.
Now, back to murder.
On the highest point of Boomstick, the dwarves get the wise idea to build a retracting bridge. A nearby lever is connected. Whispers into the dark parts of their souls tell them to Pull the Lever...now!
...
At exactly the last moment...
The dwarf stepped off the bridge, as did the goose.
I didn't even get to throw the goose.
...
Okay.
Well.
Maybe those merchants are killing each other by now. That'll cheer me up.
...Where are they?
Completely gone? How is that even possible!?
AGAIN
I DID IT AGAIN
THE SAME MISTAKE
If I weren't dead already, I'd die of frustration.
Let's just...
Let's just try the bridge again.
FINALLY SOME MEASURE OF SUCCESS!
Sort of like a wave-pool set on maximum, the lever is pulled repeatedly, juggling dwarves and pets into the air.
But I can do better.
I can do...bloodier.
Once that lever is pulled, this bridge will swing up like a catapult, sending each of these dwarves flying.
If they step off, I'm going to focus all of my energy on burning this stupid wooden mansion to the ground.
A few dwarves sail upwards and spray a little blood on the rooftop. The unlucky ones...
...end up on the first floor, guts splattered across the loam.
And while we're at it:
Just squash whoever is left. Finally, something good happened.
Hell, while I'm at it, let's lock up the human merchants. This time they won't crawl out the roof.
Huh?
What's going on down there?
Seems a dwarf failed to complete an artifact and went berserk.
Unfortunately they were right next to the training security staff.
But something's not right...
Maybe...maybe that bridge went a little too far. The dwarves have gone nuts! They're just killing each other!
Holy shit, delphonso! What the hell, man?
I'm not sure if this was a labor strike or if the security team just lost it, but about 8 dwarves died there.
Well, at least we can chalk this up to a victory.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The save is mid-summer sometime. I wanted to play longer, but Ubuntu is doing something with my CPU to really fuck this game. I'm at like 20 FPS, and there are less dwarves than that.
Save is here!