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Author Topic: The Dwarven Darwin Awards  (Read 4556 times)

Fikilili

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The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« on: September 26, 2020, 10:22:47 am »

!! FUN !! awaits us all. And at some point, no matter how much we are attached to our precious dwarves, they will face a terrible death. Some deaths being more !! FUN !! than others. Welcome to the Dwarven Darwin Awards! DDA for short.
Here you can post all the ridiculous, out right comical deaths of your dwarves. Detail each scenes as best as you can, or even write a little text to go with it, tell us the tragic, macabre and yet hilarious destinies of you citizens.

I'll start :
  • Urist McJanitor, died falling in a well trying to get rid of entering crundles.
  • Moldath Fancypants, trader, died of old age during a trade with the elves. The mayor blamed it on their hippie manners.
  • Fikod GemBringer, miner, died in a cave-in that he made, while digging the one thing he loved the most; gems. He was the sole miner still mining in that level of the fortress
  • The entire noble family of FairyKiller, thinking that making everyone in the fortress a vampire but themselves was a good idea.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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"Military? What's that? Something to eat?"

Urist mcbayblade

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2020, 02:04:56 pm »

Urist mcrockhauler, fell asleep at the bottom of the magnetite chute to the magma forges. Production could not be delayed.
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HmH

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2020, 05:42:20 pm »

Urist McPedestrian, didn't look left and right before crossing the tracks.

I had to dig a safe shortcut underneath the tracks in the end.
If a dwarf cancels a job very close to a restricted minecart track, they'll prefer to cut straight through a restricted tile instead of taking a long walk back and through the proper path.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2020, 05:49:17 pm by HmH »
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recon1o6

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2020, 05:19:46 am »

Dodak mcmasterchef, became melancholic after eating one of his own masterworks
Ast spikewood, died after being countered by her baby when she threw a tantrum
Urist mconfire, drowned in boiling !!wagon wood!! during one of my tests to create explosive booze
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Urist McRecon cancels make exploding booze: Interrupted by bad idea
Urist McRecon cancels bad idea: missing raw files
Urist McRecon cancels add raw files: Interrupted by fortress mode
Urist McRecon cancels play fortress mode: Needs exploding booze
Urist McRecon cancels acquire exploding booze: No materials

Quantum Drop

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2020, 08:03:15 am »

UristMcHusked, decided that fighting a literal avatar of death (experimental creature, part of my modding) was a good idea.

UristMcBandit, decided ambushing the Legendary-skilled Necromancer with an entire Goblin Pit's worth of reanimated corpses following him was a good idea. 
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I am ambushed by humans, and for a change, they do not drop dead immediately. I bash the master with my ladle, and he is propelled away. While in mid-air, he dies of old age.

Quietust

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2020, 11:47:22 am »

Dodak mcmasterchef, became melancholic after eating one of his own masterworks
Pics or it didn't happen - masterwork meals only cause bad thoughts if they are destroyed or stolen, and eating doesn't count as either.

Ast spikewood, died after being countered by her baby when she threw a tantrum
Urist mconfire, drowned in boiling !!wagon wood!! during one of my tests to create explosive booze
I'm pretty sure this thread is supposed to be for actual events.
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P.S. If you don't get this note, let me know and I'll write you another.
It's amazing how dwarves can make a stack of bones completely waterproof and magmaproof.
It's amazing how they can make an entire floodgate out of the bones of 2 cats.

Eric Blank

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2020, 03:44:01 pm »

Lolor McFarmer, killed by a demon he summoned.
Urist McMiner, walked into a channel he had just dug on the edge of a magma pool.
Athel McMiner, walked into a channel she had just dug on the edge of an aquifer plug in a freezing biome.
Zon McHunter, shot at a giant honey badger, which flew into a rage and tore her to pieces.
Degel McLovearmors, torn to pieces by carp in a pond
« Last Edit: September 28, 2020, 03:47:04 pm by Eric Blank »
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Fikilili

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2020, 01:01:49 am »

Degel McLovearmors, torn to pieces by carp in a pond
As silly as this death is, it's not that uncommon in DF.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2020, 01:30:25 am by Fikilili »
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Quantum Drop

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2020, 10:50:22 am »

Urist McDeadguy the First, decided fighting a Dragon with a wooden training sword would be a good idea.

Urist McDeadguy the Second, squashed by a pointless ceiling-collapse trap when he pulled the lever to collapse the support.

Urist McDeadguy the Third, went fishing in a reanimating biome. Full of alligators.

Urist McDeadguy the Fourth, pulled a Little Timmy and fell in the well.

Urist McDeadguy the Fifth, Last of His Line, decided walking barefoot on a necrosis-inducing FB dust-covered floor was a good idea.
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I am ambushed by humans, and for a change, they do not drop dead immediately. I bash the master with my ladle, and he is propelled away. While in mid-air, he dies of old age.

HMD Majesty

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #9 on: September 30, 2020, 10:58:12 am »

We present Urist Mcminer, who fell asleep in an Aquifer and failed to wake up and leave when the Pumpdwarf went off on Break.

Leonidas

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #10 on: September 30, 2020, 12:15:06 pm »

We present Urist Mcminer, who fell asleep in an Aquifer and failed to wake up and leave when the Pumpdwarf went off on Break.
I've seen that. They can sleep underwater.
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TubaDragoness

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #11 on: September 30, 2020, 03:06:35 pm »

Though the traditional Darwin Award is for removing oneself from the gene pool, I'd like to nominate for an Honorary Darwin a dwarf who, during a tantrum, yeeted her only child into the well.
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Thisfox

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2020, 02:16:14 pm »

I offer up:

Urist McWeaponsmith, who forged the *bronze spear* that did him in (militarydorf throwing a tantrum).

Urist McElephantKiller, who killed a young Elephant (I did NOT tell him to, I am not sure why he decided to do this, is it a "hunting" thing?) and promptly got trampled by elephants. All his clothing and jewellery was XXheavily damagedXX to the point of unrecognisability.

And for the progeny-killing category people seem to be developing, Lady Urist McMechanic who set up a trap with a rock and a mechanism, got caught in a spider web, and then sacrificed her baby in the trap she had assembled, then turned around and calmly reloaded the trap. It was more tragic than funny, in my opinion.
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Mules gotta spleen. Dwarfs gotta eat.
Thisfox likes aquifers, olivine, Forgotten Beasts for their imagination, & dorfs for their stupidity. She prefers to consume gin & tonic. She absolutely detests Facebook.
"Urist McMason died out of pure spite to make you wonder why he was suddenly dead"
Oh god... Plump Helmet Man Mimes!

HMD Majesty

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #13 on: October 27, 2020, 07:45:11 pm »

Urist McElephantKiller, who killed a young Elephant (I did NOT tell him to, I am not sure why he decided to do this, is it a "hunting" thing?) and promptly got trampled by elephants. All his clothing and jewellery was XXheavily damagedXX to the point of unrecognisability.

It is indeed a "Hunting" Thing.  Hunters work by going Outside and shooting whatever Animal they find.

If you are having Problems with Hunters attacking Animals they really shouldn't, either disable the Hunting Labor or restrict them to Indoors.

This is also the best Way to stop them from going Insane out of Loneliness.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The Dwarven Darwin Awards
« Reply #14 on: October 28, 2020, 03:59:56 pm »

Urist McElephantKiller, who killed a young Elephant (I did NOT tell him to, I am not sure why he decided to do this, is it a "hunting" thing?) and promptly got trampled by elephants. All his clothing and jewellery was XXheavily damagedXX to the point of unrecognisability.
He was doing his part to continue the eternal war against the elephantine menace
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