Be a ghost. A DORF ghost.
4: You are now a ghost. You cannot interact with the physical world, but you can talk and fly around.
Guard closet. Check pockets for snacks to give the cute birb.
2: You check your pockets and there are no snacks of any kind.
Climb on outside side of the bus
5: You are now hanging on the bus exterior.
Go to the roof to eat pizza with the bird
4: You go on the roof and open a pizza box, and enjoy some pineapple pizza with the bird.
deliver the other two pizzas to sky
4: You deliver two unopened pizza boxes to the sky.
Stand up and kick the button.
2: You lay on the floor, still dead.
Glide downward relative to the surface of the Earth or whatever planet we're on, trying to locate the bus and, hopefully, the destination we were supposed to reach.
3: You decide to glide downwards while barely within the Earth's orbit, physics be damned. This will take several months.
Net the bird, then throw the whole thing downstairs amongst the others.
2: You successfully throw the net at the bird, but it pecks it way out and is angered by your actions. It turns red again and we've all seen this happen before.
Ignore the bird and take the chair that had the fabric removed and break it down onto scrap.
4: The bird is calmed down after it punished Trinculo for his sins, and you break down the fabricless chair.
I thought the posionlope actually makes, well, poison?
Casually stroll to the button and press it.
The poisonlope does make poison, but it won't turn into a cloud of toxic gas until it dies.
5: You casually stroll over to the storage closet. That was your roll for getting to the closet. You must now roll to dodge.
2 (2/5 lowest): Your arms are now mangled to the point of not looking out of place in a modern art gallery.
Bus Status:
186 miles to go
Speed: 2
Fuel Consumption/Update: 2
Roof: Has a window-sized hole in it, with a ladder providing access. Has a chair attached to it. A ladder on the roof is being used for a staircase to the sky. Has a pizza box on top which is opened and has 7 remaining slices of pineapple pizza. Has a roof tablet on top of it, with the following written on it:
Front: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Back: Head on: Apply directly to the forehead!
Floor: Has a dent where a roof chunk used to be.
Door: Damaged.
Interior Chairs: 2 chairs are missing.
Storage Closet: Contains
O-05-47. Contains four severed arms, two heads, a short ranged laser cutter, and bus blueprints.
Gas Pedal: Has a brick, as well as some crudely cut duct tape nearby.
Brake lines: Cut
Exhaust Pipe: Converted into a rocket thruster that doubles the bus's speed and fuel consumption.
Warranty: Voided.
Fuel Tank: 12/25
Player Statuses & Inventories:
Glass: Is a young dragon. Flying roughly 200 miles above the sky.
King Zultan: Currently a cyborg gibman. Current augmentations: Assorted chair parts, a gun attached to the right arm that pulls ammo from hell. Has a chair-size pile of scrap metal.
ZBridges:
Beheaded. Missing both arms.IonMatrix: Has a nail clipper.
Arms are severely mangled to the point of losing all function.coalboat: Owns a roof tablet.
Rockeater: Currently has a roof tablet-sized dent in his head. Hanging onto the bus exterior.
Chaotick21:
Dead due to hypersonic diceEgan_BW: Wields the 2d6 Sword of Button Antipressing (Rolls an extra D6 when attacking, uses lowest of two to determine enemy dodge roll. Rolls a 1d4+1 for attacks against non-buttonpressers). Has two confirmed kills.
Superdorf: Is a ghost.
Ziizo: Has Mom's Credit Card.
Trinculoisdead:
GIBBEDNPCS:
Jack
O-02-56 (Kill Count: 3)
Poisonlope: Bruised.
Other:
The navy seal copypasta is currently written on the sky.
UPDATES SINCE LAST BIRD-RELATED INCIDENT: 0
Author
Topic: Desert Bus RTD (Read 15897 times)