Strike off ZBridges' head as well.
Auto4: You finish off ZBridges via decapitation, and he must roll to dodge while you remember that there were originally 4 severed arms in the closet from last update, as well as a severed head.
1 (3/1 lowest) He gets decapitated. Thanks to fudge, his laser cutter and blueprints are on the ground below him.
"I have never raised a hand against you, yet you have cut off both of my arms. Even now, I wish no harm upon you, but I can see in your eyes that you wish to see me dead. Who are you to deny a man his simple right to exist? Throw down your sword, or forever be defined by the blood on your hands. It is not too late."
Sell my soul to the devil for invulnerability.
Auto2: You are dead. Not big surprise.
Turn the bus to chase after the wheel
2: You try to use the steering wheel, but nothing happens. As it turns out, the gas pedal, the brake pedal, and the steering wheel are just for show; and that the bus is self driving.
Prevent the bus from changing it's course.
Also have a flashback to my quest to ensure I have enough money to pay for the pizza.
Auto4: The bus's course is set in stone; the self driving system wouldn't let it be manually changed until the destination is reached. Rockeater learnt this by accident.
5: You remember you had a quest to make sure you had the dosh to buy pizza. You check your pockets, and find Mom's Credit Card; which you doubt she still needed when you
borrowed it. You then use it to pay for the pizza (how the pizza place got the payment from several dozen miles is unknown but it's best not to ask questions).
Speaking of pizza, there are now 3 pizza boxes on the roof, delivered by the little bird.
My falling head spins gracefully through the air, hoping to land on the button!
2: Your falling head spins gracefully through the air and falls onto the storage closet floor.
use the roof chunk to build downward stairs on top of the upward ladder stairs
4: As it turns out, someone hid a folded ladder inside the section of the roof that later got removed and turned into a Navy Seal Copypasta-bearing tablet. There is now a ladder allowing access to the roof again.
Fly up downwards and stabilize myself on the ceiling.
Then loudly declaim the divinity of the dragons.
3: You fly downwards, relative to your gravity. Your gravity later stabilizes, and you are currently flying several hundred miles above the earth's surface. The air feels really thin up there.
Use my new cyborg strength and rip off whats left of the roof, this should make us go faster because convertibles are fast.
1: You attempt ripping off the rest of the roof, but this angers the little bird on it who doesn't agree with your vandalization of its current home. It is now pecking you repeatedly. I hope you remember what happened the last two times someone attacked the bird.
Throw the poisonlope at the button
3: You throw the poisonlope at the storage closet that contains the button and its defender. Close enough.
Rip up the threading or leather strips or whatever the heck that ties the seats together with my fingers and teeth, create a net, and wait in ambush for the bird to return.
4: You now have a net made from a chair's fabric. However, the bird is already back and is busy pecking King Zultan.
AgainThe Diemon of 1 rolls gets bored and returns back to Dice Hell.
Bus Status:
188 miles to go
Speed: 2
Fuel Consumption/Update: 2
Roof: Has a window-sized hole in it, with a ladder providing access. Has a chair attached to it. A ladder on the roof is being used for a staircase to the sky. Has 3 pizza boxes on top. Has a roof tablet on top of it, with the following written on it:
Front: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Back: Head on: Apply directly to the forehead!
Floor: Has a dent where a roof chunk used to be.
Door: Damaged.
Interior Chairs: 2 chairs are missing, and one of the non-missing chairs has its fabric removed.
Storage Closet: Contains
O-05-47. Contains four severed arms, two heads, a short ranged laser cutter, and bus blueprints.
Gas Pedal: Has a brick, as well as some crudely cut duct tape nearby.
Brake lines: Cut
Exhaust Pipe: Converted into a rocket thruster that doubles the bus's speed and fuel consumption.
Warranty: Voided.
Fuel Tank: 14/25
Player Statuses & Inventories:
Glass: Is a young dragon. Flying roughly 200 miles above the sky.
King Zultan: Currently a cyborg gibman. Current augmentations: Assorted chair parts, a gun attached to the right arm that pulls ammo from hell
ZBridges:
Beheaded. Missing both arms.IonMatrix: Has a nail clipper.
coalboat: Owns a roof tablet.
Rockeater: Currently has a roof tablet-sized dent in his head.
Chaotick21:
Dead due to hypersonic diceEgan_BW: Wields the 2d6 Sword of Button Antipressing (Rolls an extra D6 when attacking, uses lowest of two to determine enemy dodge roll. Rolls a 1d4+1 for attacks against non-buttonpressers). Has two confirmed kills.
Superdorf
Beheaded. Missing both arms.Ziizo: Has Mom's Credit Card.
NPCS:
Jack
O-02-56 (Kill Count: 2)
Diemon of 1 Rolls (Kill Count: 1)
Poisonlope: Bruised.
Other:
The navy seal copypasta is currently written on the sky.
UPDATES SINCE LAST BIRD-RELATED INCIDENT: 3
Author
Topic: Desert Bus RTD (Read 15891 times)