Do nothing.
Prevent the button from being pressed.
6: You, in your quest to prevent people from destroying the bus, abandon your vow of doing effectively nothing, and prepare to defend the bus from the horde of button pressers. You heroically draw your 2d6 Sword of Button Antipressing, and will automatically attack anyone who attempts to press the button, in hopes of preventing button-induced apocalypses. The sword is pretty crap against people not trying to push buttons, however.
Run after the wheel
Auto2: Despite having more intelligence than the button pressers, the wheel is way too far out of sight and you wouldn't be able to chase after it and return to the bus unless it stops for long enough so that you can catch up. You decide not to get lost over a wheel.
Press the red button.
2: You attempt to press the button, but Egan_BW is blocking the closet door with his sword. You must roll to dodge!
1 (3/1 lowest): You get your arms severed, have fun pressing the button now. You are also severely bleeding, and you better hope someone else is willing to save you even though you've attempted killing us all.
use the roof chunk to build upward stairs
1: You attempt using the roof chunk to build stairs, but end up accidentally using the ladder to make stairs. Now no one can get up to the roof easily.
While those two are busy arguing, sneak around and press the button!
5: You sneak towards the closet. You don't get detected until Egan_BW blocks you from entering with his body, and his sword which is currently about to hit you.
1 (1/3 lowest): It turns out that Egan_BW's defensive amputations clinic (which is set up in the closet) is having a 3 for one sale after unexpected success with the first "patient". Instead of just getting your arms chopped off, you also have your head chopped off!
RIP apart one of the seats and use the seat bits to repair my body.
4: You decide against playing God, in favor of trying to offend as many gods as possible with your mad science regarding fusing a human-shaped pile of gibs and a chair. You break apart the chair into appropriately sized parts and become a fully fledged cyborg with a D6 action die like the rest of the passengers. You also make the gun a part of you, and can fire it with just a thought. It is located on your right arm, and mysteriously pulls in ammo from hell itself. Don't ask too many questions, okay?
Shoot the poisonlope
It totally won't explode or anything.
Auto2: You lack a ranged weapon to shoot it with. You could try to steal one from King Zultan, but it's fused with his right arm, and trying to steal it from him wouldn't end well.
The diemon does nothing.
Bus Status:
190 miles to go
Speed: 2
Fuel Consumption/Update: 2
Roof: Has a window-sized hole in it. Has a chair attached to it. A ladder on the roof is being used for a staircase to the sky. Has a roof tablet on top of it, with the following written on it:
Front: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Back: Head on: Apply directly to the forehead!
Floor: Has a dent where a roof chunk used to be.
Door: Damaged.
Interior Chairs: 2 chairs are missing.
Storage Closet: Contains
O-05-47. Contains two severed arms.
Gas Pedal: Has a brick, as well as some crudely cut duct tape nearby.
Brake lines: Cut
Exhaust Pipe: Converted into a rocket thruster that doubles the bus's speed and fuel consumption.
Warranty: Voided.
Fuel Tank: 16/25
Player Statuses & Inventories:
Glass: Is a young dragon. Still falling upwards.
King Zultan: Currently a cyborg gibman. Current augmentations: Assorted chair parts, a gun attached to the right arm that pulls ammo from hell
ZBridges: Tired (-1 to all rolls for actions involving strength; can stack). Has a short ranged laser cutter. Has bus blueprints.
Missing both arms. Severely bleeding, will die in 2 turnsIonMatrix: Has a nail clipper.
coalboat: Owns a roof tablet.
Rockeater: Currently has a roof tablet-sized dent in his head.
Chaotick21:
Dead due to hypersonic diceEgan_BW: Wields the 2d6 Sword of Button Antipressing (Rolls an extra D6 when attacking, uses lowest of two to determine enemy dodge roll. Rolls a 1d4+1 for attacks against non-buttonpressers)
Superdorf
Beheaded. Missing both arms.NPCS:
Jack
O-02-56 (Kill Count: 2): Busy delivering an order message to the nearest pizza place. Will return in 1 update.
Diemon of 1 Rolls (Kill Count: 1)
Poisonlope
Other:
The navy seal copypasta is currently written on the sky.
UPDATES SINCE LAST BIRD-RELATED INCIDENT: 2
Author
Topic: Desert Bus RTD (Read 15918 times)