Move the extra left thumb back to my right thumb, then loudly praise the dragons for this miracle.
Make sure that nobody escapes earshot.
1: You attempt surgically moving your left thumb to your right thumb, but due to a complete lack of medical knowledge, alongside the pain caused by self amputating extremities, you remove your entire left hand. Whoops. Maybe you shuold have asked the dragons for proper medical knowledge first.
Tear off an extra piece of the roof
2: You've already used up your ACME
tm Single Use Skylight Creator on the first window you made.
Do nothing.
4: Once again, you do nothing without interruptions.
Cut the brake lines to ensure that the bus will always be moving as fast as possible.
5: You find a conveniently located short ranged laser cutter, and blueprints for the bus. You then use this knowledge and equipment to cut into the brake lines so that the bus will not stop on its own.
Paint the bus red so it goes faster
Auto4: The bus is already red.
Get on the roof and attract birds to land on it by imitating bird-calls.
4: You go up to the roof and try to attract birds. Eventually, a little bird arrives on the roof. It's white, has a deep red belly, and the wingtips + beak are light blue.
Reveal the fact that I have a gun, then use the gun to rob the NPCs.
2: You attempt to rob Jack, only for it to be revealed that Jack has nothing in his inventory. You then try robbing the little bird, and you end up shooting it, only for it to turn red, with the center part of the bird splitting into 4 long jaw-like protrusions, before closing in on you, turning you into a pile of gibs. It turns out that this small and confident bird punishes the evil, guilty, and all sorts of irreverent people.
At least your left foot no longer hurts.
raise tablet and print the bloody oracle onto the blue block that pretends to be our very sky
4: You raise the roof tablet into the sky, and start attempting to print the entire Navy Seal Copypasta onto the sky for all to see. This will take an update if not interrupted.
Bus Status:
196 miles to go
Roof: Has a window-sized hole in it. Has a chair attached to it. A ladder can be used to access the roof. Has a roof tablet on top of it, with the following written on it:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
. There is a gun next to a pile of gibs.
Floor: Has a dent where a roof chunk used to be.
Door: Damaged.
Interior Chairs: 1 chair is missing.
Storage Closet: Has 1 spare wheel inside. Other contents unknown.
Gas Pedal: Has a brick duct taped to it that's holding it down. Currently being cut rather inefficiently with a nailclipper.
Brake lines: Cut
Fuel Tank: 22/25
Player Statuses & Inventories:
Glass: Missing his right thumb. Severely bleeding. Left hand is gone.
King Zultan:
GIBBEDZBridges: Tired (-1 to all rolls for actions involving strength; can stack). Has a short ranged laser cutter. Has bus blueprints.
IonMatrix: Has a nail clipper. Currently cutting off the brick's duct tape; will finish in 1 updates.
coalboat: Currently printing the entire Navy Seal Copypasta onto the sky. Will finish in 1 update.
NPCS:
Jack
O-02-56