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[fatcat__25]

OK, wow have things gotten messed up around the fort. I suspect a Stukist plot for revenge after their rebellion was broken up.

[Maximum Spin]

OK, wow have things gotten messed up around the fort. I suspect a Stukist plot for revenge after their rebellion was broken up.

I've never seen a fort this big with a military this bad. One of the speardwarves, I think one that died in the big battle, was carting around a silver spear.

[uber pye]

And this is why CUP is the best party! if we had giant death weapons we would need to worry about fighty guys!

[Travis Bickle]

I agree to offer him Nephilim’s re-vacant seat. Hopefully he won’t die within a month of getting it. Ha ha.

Hope is all I can do given my recent luck.

[Maximum Spin]

There are so many hauling jobs. I’m starting to get worried about where all these things are going. The possibility that there might be some kind of closed loop of hauling orders somewhere has not escaped me, given the proliferation of random stockpiles in weird places linked to other random stockpiles.

A number of giant bugs are buzzing around the fortress scaring everyone. This is not improving efficiency.


Even still, I have managed to set up several new work stations which were, until this point, helping to clear the backlog of animal handling and fish processing.

A bird stole someone’s lunch. This is what passes for news now because the firefly infestation has essentially ground all work to a halt. Relatedly, I regret setting up the new workshops for the hundred-odd outstanding gelding orders outside.


Wailing is heard from beyond the walls. Apparently the goblin cripple still wandering around outside has become depressed. Maybe this makes him more vulnerable, but I’m not even going to bother trying. Perhaps he’ll throw himself off the precipice or something. That would make my life so much easier. Actually, I decided to try to coax the Artifacts of Paper out onto the pyramid (reinstalling the internal stairway to provide a path) where they could potentially shoot at the goblin from a safe vantage. They charge down the access ramp and punch him to death instead. Whatever. Good enough. Siege over. I relax the burrow restrictions and half the fort population start filtering through the stairway and ramp instead of going out by the now perfectly open gate, making the process of removing the floor so that there isn’t a direct route inside again needlessly difficult. Luckily, we have exactly enough clear glass windows left to fix things, and I install the fortifications like I mentioned before. I also plan to cut out a nice triangular section from the floor so the natural light can reach the ground floor of the pyramid again.

The papermaker got stuck on the wall.

There’s no way down from there. I guess it’s her new home. Congratulations on moving up in the world. All right, no, I’m not going to leave her up there, she’s the only decent papermaker we have, and we have massive piles of paper slurry lying around from one of those unorganized work orders I’ve since cancelled. There’s only one firefly left but the vultures are really beginning to vex.

I guess we have new migrants again. I don’t see the appeal, but more hands for the work can only help, if they stop throwing a fit about giant vultures harrying them from above. Oh, and now the vulture attacks seem to have shattered Lucky’s vulnerable psyche.


A brewer, Degël, throws a tantrum and accidentally kills Ubbul the miner with a punch to the neck. Lacking any colossi to send her out to fight, I assign her a position in the military so she can hopefully make her amends later. Then Zon the performer throws another tantrum and violently injures a cat before crippling another miner. I have no patience for this, so I set her on fire. I feel like this is a reasonable punishment.

Finally, winter arrives. I feel like the year cannot end soon enough. One of the smalls yields up an excessively decorated amulet which appears to account for half the contents of the trade depot, called Passagepractice.

The meaning of the yeti fixation is unclear, but the tiny gold replica of itself is excellent.

Visitors, mostly artists and prophets, continue to show up at odd hours begging for shelter. I worry that we are all inside an elaborate fairy tale and, if we refuse, we might be transformed into dwarves. I think the lack of sleep may be getting to my head. The giant fireflies keep everyone up with their incessant flashing outside the big window wall.

And now the elves are attacking! They were trying to ambush haulers cleaning up the battlefield, but it seems their mounts ended up too frightened by the carnage to catch anyone.

Two cats are caught and murdered by the ambush, and one human gets locked out, but otherwise the gates are sealed without issue. There are at least forty elves seen so far and they have brought bears and unicorns. Most are bowelves, and they have been taking potshots over the wall, but without too much damage thus far. However, once the human blunders too close, they quickly mass together like angry bees and explain in detail the reasons why emergency orders should be obeyed. As far as I know, there are no other live targets outside.

[Maximum Spin]

Well, I wanted to avoid double-posting, but I don't feel like waiting anymore... there wasn't much to comment on anyway, I suppose.
First, the farmers' guild comes around begging for a fancier guildhall as their membership has expanded, so I, following the best Goldsilver tradition I am pretty sure I started, put more artifacts and a couple fancy instruments into their otherwise empty room. Then the Denominations of Dust, a church worshipping my own god, Nokor the Dead Glands, asks for a temple; obviously, I kill two birds with one stone and declare the farmer's guildhall to be their temple. I then appoint Quantum Drop as the church's sacred tomb, as the only follower I actually know. She's very religious so I'm sure she will be good at the job and, you know, sacrifice lots of things or whatever. Speaking of sacrifices, all but a handful of the adult animals have finally been gelded; there's still plenty more to get to, but they should at least stop making MORE for a while.

Another one of those goblin performance art installations is trapped outside, but they haven't met the elves yet. Meanwhile, a pack of rabid children tear apart a giant bug on the roof of the ground-floor complex - which is already littered with corpses from the flying attacks earlier in the year. Also on the roof is a visiting dwarven dancer.

A brewer throws a tantrum and tries to wrassle the wildlife, but calms down after I threaten to make him fight the elves. Winter continues to drag on painfully like a forced metaphor. Most of the corpses trapped outside have yielded up ghosts, luckily all harmless so far. I put in orders for memorials and have them built in an inconspicuous spot. I notice that my orders to dye cloth are not being fulfilled, which results in noticing that we do not actually have a dyer's shop. So I have one of those built. It turns out there's plenty of dyed cloth lying around, though, so I don't know what the clothiers are complaining about. Probably too many people trying to use one bin. There are too many bins in this fort. Oh, never mind, I see, some bright star put a cloth stockpile in the hospital and now almost all our cloth and thread is there, forbidden to be used for anything but bandaging and suturing, which aren't taking place because nobody's getting hurt because they're locked inside and anyone who does get hurt (because of being punched by someone else who's having a bad day) just sort of dies of exploded body parts anyway. I just delete the stockpile, but I don't actually know if anyone will reclaim the goods, so probably someone should check that later.

Even with all the adult male mammals gelded (gelt?), a certain backlog of births continues. Gelding all the animals is becoming my thing, the core project I'm most interested in completing before the end of the year. I'm also considering deconstructing all the nestboxes, but I probably won't bother. Something for my successor to do, though: there are enough poultry in the world already.

Fourteen geldings left. No, sixteen, some new cavies just appeared. One month and a week left to do them in. Can we make it in time? What's funniest to me is that the animals often attack the gelder afterward. I mean, I would too. Reg, one of the threshers, is inspired by all the gelding and claims a craftsdwarf's workshop. He gets going pretty fast, might actually finish before my term is up. One of the slowest, most crippled dwarves crosses half the fort to geld an alpaca. I let him have his moment and then remove him from all labors because nobody has time for that. He's our best wood burner, but it's not like that's impressive, so I invite/coerce a bunch of other dwarves to take up wood burning as a hobby. At some point while I'm watching him crawl through the pasture, the last ghost is memorialized too, but there will definitely be more later. Outstanding geldings down to nine.

For unclear reasons, a pack of dogs savages two human visitors. I assume they deserved it. I am pleased to observe that the dogs involved are gelded.



I will definitely take the name as a compliment. I was pretty amazed too. That was a lot of geldings! Only five left, provided nothing decides to give birth on me. Reg is officially inducted as a stonecrafter, which, at the moment, means that his job will be to get back to gelding things.

The brewer from before gets stroppy again and murders a war dog. He lives outside with the elves now. Four geldings left. Plenty of time. Oh, he's done living with the elves now. That's fine too. I think life under siege has affected me for the better, despite claims I've heard whispered around to the contrary. That's right, I hear you whispering.

Unrelatedly, I kind of feel like whoever put the original farmer's workshops so far away from both the animal pasture and the original farms should be fired.

Animals are still giving birth. This is offensive. Only females so far, though. I mean only female babies. Obviously only females are giving birth. I wouldn't have thought that was worth noting. Oh, now there's a male, but it's an alpaca, so it's fine. I did geld a few alpacas, but not all of them, since they're theoretically more useful. We have more males than actually necessary to keep the population up, but I figured someone with more patience might want to selectively breed them. So there's only one gelding left to do, and Rovod the hunter is on it. I suggest letting the elves in to celebrate when we're done, but fatcat says no.

A bunch of dogs keep climbing the tower near where the elves are and getting shot at. One of them just tanked like eight arrows. This is irritating, and appears to be making more elves show up.

The last cavy is gelt. I have three more weeks in my term and no idea how to spend them. My purpose in life has been served, truly. Cog the suturer throws a tantrum and tries to beat up a dancer, but only gets his own ass kicked. He will not be forced to fight the elves.


Did you know that Yung Boujee's husband is the single happiest dwarf in all Goldsilver? There's a lesson for us all in that. Get you a woman who turns into a raving bloodthirsty monster every month and has to be locked in a dungeon to save the rest of us. Wait, no.

Honestly, Boujee's doing much better after I installed the werelock - the enclosed area by which she can receive food and drink - and gave her a temple. Reflecting on this reminds me that the werelock is currently open on our side and she'd probably like to have it switched. Hopefully, future overseers will remember to provide for our secluded sister. I can hear her complaining about being naked in there, in fact. You'd think she has bigger problems.

Wait. Wait! NO!




Come on, there's still time, come on! You can do it, Rimtar!


Shut up, Lucky, I don't have time for this right now!


Almost theeeeeeeeere...

YES!


That's it for me. I'm retiring for a while. Democracy is just too stressful sometimes!
Then a cavy gave birth at the last minute and ruined everything.

All told, I'm not sure that this was a very productive year, but at least the animal problem is under control going forward, and very few dwarves have murdered anyone and are still alive to talk about it! I also think there might be a problem somewhere, because I haven't had FPS this low since a fort where a bunch of demons were trapped in a stairway constantly looking for new paths. There are an awful lot of animals, but I wouldn't be surprised if there's some more serious pathing issue somewhere. I don't think it's the main gates because the situation did not really improve while they were open, but they may be contributing.

I feel like there was something else I wanted to mention for the future, but I don't remember what it was. I bet it wasn't anything that's going to destroy the fortress or anything.

Save.

[tonnot98]

The FPS might be caused by some building destroyer hidden on the map. That's my guess, anyway. Congratulations on another year survived, despite the world's best efforts to snuff you out!

[Travis Bickle]

Good job Maximum Spin. We'll have to see if we can get that FPS alleviated even slightly as the years continue.
Events of 28th Obsidian, 257
When the electors of Goldsilver congregate once more in the library for another election, Casca is the first to stand up. Looking with some uncertainty at the electors surrounding him, as if he were uncertain as to what protocols he was to follow during this event, he began to speak.

"I stand before you the last surviving member, aside from my wife, Jecowa, of the Black Legion of King Stukos the Martyr. My intention now is to stand for election as a candidate on behalf of what remains of Goldsilver's Stukist Party. I imagine that there are some in this room who have little trust for anyone related to Stukism; this past year has left a great wound on everyone in this fortress. That said, present circumstances require us to stop fighting amongst ourselves and look at the bigger problems we face. Even as we speak our fortress is surrounded by the enemy, right after our military was decimated by a goblin siege! To the south, fortresses and hillocks are right now being occupied by those murderous creatures! Unless we prepare to fight the goblins and elves with the intention of defeating them for good, no fortress is safe!"

Casca pauses for a moment to collect himself and looks downward. "The late captain probably wouldn't have approved, but in light of this situation, under my leadership, the Stukist Party shall temporarily suspend pressing any... disputes to the current occupant of the throne. What good would it be for Her Majesty to return to the throne to find her kingdom in ruins and conquered by goblins? The primary concerns of my year as overseer shall be the restoration of our military and fortress guard, which have fallen into shambles, as well as the liberation of rightful Dwarven clay from the goblins. They have made us bleed quite enough; it is time for us to return the favor.

"These are my proposals for the year. I hope that you will take them into consideration as you cast your votes."

His speech concluded, Casca returns to his seat.

[uber pye]

you see on scribbled on many random walls in crayon an image:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Travis Bickle]

Casca looks around at the drawings all over the library walls before glancing at the young child occupying one of the elector seats. After a short period of silence he asks, “Are... all the elections like this? Is this some sort of practical joke?”

[Maximum Spin]

Maximum Spin tells Casca in a low voice, "Unfortunately, our former King (legitimate or otherwise), on establishing our charter, did not see fit to provide and probably had never even thought of any rules for who gets to enjoy the electoral dignity. Under current legal precedent it's basically been open to any idiot who walks in and asks. I've tried to help keep this a secret by asking for justifications so dwarves think they need a good reason, but you still get the occasional small child. The rest of us appreciate the dignified speech, I'm sure."

[fatcat__25]

Fatcat merely grumbles under her breath about children. Despite wanting to raise a family, she seems to have some aversion to the younger members of the fortress. She also grumbles something about hoping the new representative of the Stukists being a bit more sane than the last one.

[uber pye]

The child pouts on the seat obviously too big for him saying "Well excuuuuUUUuuse me! I just so happen to have a super good reason cus all you grown up are doin' a bad and boring job. When I'm boss no body'll have ta go fight the bad guys, cus they'll all be on fire!"

[Travis Bickle]

"It's a creative approach to our current circumstances, I'll give you that," responds Casca. "I'm really not sure how much debate is really necessary in an election such as this. Unless anyone has any else has anything to say or thinks they can do a better job than either of us, I say we can move onto the ballots."

[Radipon]

Soap...