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Author Topic: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]  (Read 25702 times)

Stirk

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #255 on: September 08, 2020, 05:51:29 pm »

I think we should probably look for more KNIGHTLY CASH to supplement our down payment. We gotta aim for full horsing, guys.

What if we have some of the recruits act as steeds for the other recruits?
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This is my waifu, this is my gun. This one's for fighting, this ones for fun.

Maximum Spin

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #256 on: September 08, 2020, 05:56:08 pm »

I think we should probably look for more KNIGHTLY CASH to supplement our down payment. We gotta aim for full horsing, guys.

What if we have some of the recruits act as steeds for the other recruits?
+1
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VoidSlayer

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #257 on: September 08, 2020, 07:33:35 pm »

SELL SOME NON SAINTLY RELICS TO BALANCE THE LEDGERS BEFORE WE ALL GET CARTED OFF TO DEBTORS PRISON!  NEGATIVE KNIGHTLY CASH IS VERY UNSIGHTLY.

Maximum Spin

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #258 on: September 08, 2020, 08:17:02 pm »

SELL SOME NON SAINTLY RELICS TO BALANCE THE LEDGERS BEFORE WE ALL GET CARTED OFF TO DEBTORS PRISON!  NEGATIVE KNIGHTLY CASH IS VERY UNSIGHTLY.
-1: We already sold everything we have confirmed is mundane, and we CANNOT be responsible for potentially unholy magical objects getting out into the world! Holy Orders are all about hoarding heretical artifacts to keep them out of evil hands until they inevitably corrupt your organisation and turn you all into devil worshippers who get inquisitioned.
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Kilojoule Proton

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #259 on: September 09, 2020, 04:52:31 am »

Quote
Train AGILITY: Naturegirl1999, Yellow Pixel
Train recruit riding: Stirk, Maximum Spin
Find CASH: Maximum Spin, VoidSlayer
   Sell unholy trinkets: VoidSlayer
Train STRENGTH: King Zultan

You come up with a brilliant idea for training your recruits in agility, strength, and riding at the same time. You set up a little jousting tournament with recruits riding and wielding random recruits to their great displeasure and consternation while you run off to earn some last-minute money to smooth payday over a bit. There's always work in Inksworth, but the work isn't always terribly convenient for one of knightly stature; the declined offers include such things as an apprenticeship to a cobbler, a (temporary) seasonal position as a farmhand, and an entry-level job in street sweeping. While walking around in the fancier parts of town, you spot a fellow chicken strutting around in horrifically impractical ornament-laden armor. You walk up and bet what's left of your cash that you can get three hits in without getting hit in return. The Pompous Heir looks at your scratched, somewhat grimy, and certainly undecorated armor and snorts.

"Pah! Only two florins? Miserable peasant! I'll wager six that I can strike you thrice without a hit. En garde!"

You draw your sword and deftly disarm him. In the next few slashes, you manage to fling off the Pompous Heir's gauntlets and helmet with the leverage from the useless gilded ornaments. You hear some piece splash in the distance.

"Surrender to B-KAWK or taste cold steel!"
"Stop! I yield!"
"Pay up."
"It's not fair! My armor was forged by the best smith in town! You must have used Cyanite magic or something, you warlock!"
"Pay up."
"Harumph! Tricked by a lucky commoner! You'll regret this..."

You walk away pleased at this easy victory. It's not terribly much money given the size of the Order, but it should be enough to guarantee the coming week's wages without having to resort to desperate measures. You wonder who managed to win the "tournament." You really hope there weren't any accidents during your absence and hurry back.



It appears Footchicken BAWK-Cluck has won the tournament with Goldteef as steed and Meow-Ma-Mew as lance! BAWK-Cluck has been awarded the Medal of Grace for victory in the agility/strength/riding training tournament. You make a note to arrange for BAWK-Cluck's promotion to Chicken-at-Arms the next time promotions are on the table again. Goldteef and Meow-Ma-Mew are somewhat disappointed about not receiving tangible rewards (however temporary), but you point out that BAWK-Cluck has considerable experience as a result of having been a member of the Order at its founding and fighting in the Battle of the Pheasant Brigands. This explanation pleases the Breadlambites who didn't get first place. With the day drawing to a close, the Holy Order imbibes a very holy gruel and prepares for the long journey ahead.



You and the caravan embark early the next morning, and the first two days pass uneventfully. The third day, after a few hours on the road, you are unluckily stood up by a gang of surprisingly well-dressed highwaymice with shiny little swords who issue a demand as predictable as the plot to this adventure:

(A) Your money
(B) Your lives

Quote from: Escortees
4x Wagons
7x Draft Horses
1x Wooden Horse
1x Pheasant Physician
2x Naked Mole Rat Nurse
1x Canary Clerk

Quote from: Holy Exalted Order of the Knights of Manannan
1x Chicken Knight B-KAW
1x Footchicken Doodle-Crow
3x Footchickens
2x Chicken Recruits
1x Rat Rogue Goldteef
3x Rat Footpads
1x Pigeon Footpad
1x Chicken Footpad

Quote from: Highwaymice
1x Highwaymouse Leader
15x Sword Highwaymice
1x Torch Highwaymouse
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King Zultan

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #260 on: September 09, 2020, 05:02:28 am »

We can take them, they're so small we can just smash them into the dirt.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Maximum Spin

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #261 on: September 09, 2020, 05:03:50 am »

Issue knightly speech against the heinous impiety of stopping HOLY WARRIORS in AUTHORIZED MONKLY TRANSIT, guilting the highwaymice into pledging to the Order, while Doodle-Crow, Goldteef, and other members of named-level competence circle around to ambush their flanks.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #262 on: September 09, 2020, 05:04:55 am »

I think the A B choice is asking what the highwaymen demand from us
A
We can take them, they're so small we can just smash them into the dirt.
while that would work, pieces of corpse would get stuck in the wheels
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King Zultan

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #263 on: September 09, 2020, 05:22:13 am »

I think the A B choice is asking what the highwaymen demand from us
A
We can take them, they're so small we can just smash them into the dirt.
while that would work, pieces of corpse would get stuck in the wheels
Don't give them shit, its ours and we need it, also if corpse bits get stuck in the wheels we'll just have to pick them out.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Superdorf

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #264 on: September 09, 2020, 08:31:37 am »

Clever trick with the Pompous Chicken Heir. I bet he becomes a recurring baddie now.

Issue knightly speech against the heinous impiety of stopping HOLY WARRIORS in AUTHORIZED MONKLY TRANSIT, guilting the highwaymice into pledging to the Order, while Doodle-Crow, Goldteef, and other members of named-level competence circle around to ambush their flanks.

+1

If they join up, great! If they leave us alone, great! If not, we'll just apply the usual quantities of OVERWHELMING KNIGHTLY FORCE.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #265 on: September 09, 2020, 09:30:59 am »

Clever trick with the Pompous Chicken Heir. I bet he becomes a recurring baddie now.

Issue knightly speech against the heinous impiety of stopping HOLY WARRIORS in AUTHORIZED MONKLY TRANSIT, guilting the highwaymice into pledging to the Order, while Doodle-Crow, Goldteef, and other members of named-level competence circle around to ambush their flanks.

+1

If they join up, great! If they leave us alone, great! If not, we'll just apply the usual quantities of OVERWHELMING KNIGHTLY FORCE.

+1 let’s see how this goes
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VoidSlayer

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #266 on: September 10, 2020, 01:40:21 am »

WE WILL TAKE (B) Your MISERABLE MOUSE lives!

ASSUMING THE SPEECH FAILS LIKE YEAH DO THAT I GUESS FIRST?

MAKE SURE TO COMPLEMENT THEIR FINE CLOTHING EITHER WAY FASHION DESERVES RESPECT.

Kilojoule Proton

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #267 on: September 10, 2020, 05:25:54 am »

Quote
Speech!: Maximum Spin, Superdorf, Naturegirl1999, VoidSlayer
CHICKEN SMASH!: King Zultan(, Superdorf, Naturegirl1999, VoidSlayer)
Give the highwaymice their money: Naturegirl1999

You walk up to the highwaymice and clear your throat. A good speech will surely show them the error of their ways, and maybe a few will even join the Order.

"O wondrous, esteemed mice whose radiant vestments glimmer like the stars! I greet you today not as a foe but as a friend; not as a thief but as a messenger; not as an enemy but as an ally. We travel today, a company of Holy and Exalted Warriors, pursuant to the will of the gods, who are slow to wrath and quick to embrace, and our very meeting today is a most auspicious sign of their good will. For too long have you labored in strange conditions subject to the whim of the merchants'--
"Get to the point! Your money or your lives?"
"Thegodshaveinvesteduswithanewcovenant: Joinusandprosperinsafety! Turnfromyourcrimes! Andasfortherest,Nevermoreistobedestroyed."
"Yeah, no. You saw our expensive clothing. If we wanted safety, we wouldn't be harassing merchant caravans. Also, we outnumber you. Seize them!"

A fight breaks out, and the footchickens do a good job of repelling the wild slashes of the highwaymice and otherwise keeping them away from your escortees, who scramble under the second of the three carts as Phyllis holds the nurses close under her wing. The footchickens knock out five of the highwaymice (two of which are not in stable condition and will likely die if left untreated) before Doodle-Crow is rendered unconscious by a speeding pebble and the footchicken wall gets broken up by the highwaymice onslaught. The new recruits don't do as well, and Meow-Ma-Mew hides under the third cart before passing out from the blows of the mice. The ex-Greenscarves under Goldteef's guidance manage to knock out three highwaymice with extensive use of flanking before they get bogged down and a Rat Footpad and the Chicken Footpad are knocked out.

At this point, with half the highwaymice down, the Highwaymouse Leader calls for a dash-and-grab. The remaining highwaymice concentrate their efforts on carrying off as much as possible, and you hear a cry from the second cart. A quick head count later, you find that one of the nurses, half a cart's worth of medical supplies, four of the unconscious highwaymice, and the wooden horse helping to pull the first cart have gone missing. Your remaining captives are two highwaymice in critical condition and two unremarkable others. What should you do next?

(A) Halt the trip and chase down the thieving bandits!
(B) Continue the journey; there's no time to lose!

There's also the matter of the four unconscious highwaymice you could easily capture and your unconscious nominal leader and comrades, who will take some time to recover. Dr. Phyllis says your fallen comrades are in pretty good shape, and she can get them back up overnight absent distractions like robberies. She does say she'd prefer not to give advice on the matter of pursuing the highwaymice or continuing and hoping for another nurse to hire. Given that she does seem to care about the nurses, it's hard not to wonder what's going on in Teford that's so urgent it would require three whole and undelayed carts of medical supplies and a physician from all the way in Inksworth (as opposed to, e.g. nearby Shaybury which probably has five specialists to every medicus in Inksworth to boot). Perhaps a tactful request for details from the physician is in order?
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #268 on: September 10, 2020, 05:35:32 am »

B also ask why physicians in Shaybury wouldn’t be able to help
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King Zultan

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Re: Chicken Knight [SG]
« Reply #269 on: September 10, 2020, 08:30:02 am »

(A) We need to teach them who their messing with!
Also kill the unconscious highway mice, we don't need them slowing us down.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?
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