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[micelus]

WE WORSHIP THE PANTOKOTOPOULO ABOVE ALL. THE GODBEAK FROM WHICH ALL GODS FLOW, ALL POULTRY DEITIES ARE BUT REFLECTIONS OF THE GODBEAK.

[Stirk]

No no, carry the butter back to town as proof of our heroic deed, THEN demand their priests burn it in a proper evil-destroying ritual.

Also, we follow ALL the chicken gods.

Perhaps the voices in our head are the chicken gods? It would certainly explain things.

[Maximum Spin]

No no, carry the butter back to town as proof of our heroic deed, THEN demand their priests burn it in a proper evil-destroying ritual.

Also, we follow ALL the chicken gods.

Perhaps the voices in our head are the chicken gods? It would certainly explain things.

...Empirically, at least some of them are.

[lukerules117]

Consume rotting grape juice and gain it's powers!

[Kilojoule Proton]

Drink rotted grape juice (and gain its powers!)
Worship all chicken gods, reflections of the GODBEAK
Burn the butter for being made with evil

ON A WHIM, YOU DECIDE TO SAVE YOUR DRY PROVISIONS AND CONSUME THE ROTTING GRAPE JUICE INSTEAD. IT IS SURPRISINGLY DELICIOUS DESPITE THE EVIL FERMENTOFUMES EMANATING FROM IT, AND YOUR RECRUITS SOON JOIN YOU IN PARTAKING OF THE UNEXPECTED NECTAR. ONE OF YOUR RECRUITS ENTERS A MYSTERIOUS AND HIGHLY ORACULAR WINE-TRANCE AND UTTERS THE FOLLOWING INDECIPHERABLE PROPHECY:

"Dubois Winery coalesces bright albuterol overtones and a forgettable coconut finish in their 1324 Bordeaux."

AT THE HEIGHT OF THE JOYOUS REVELRY, YOU SQUAWK THAT SOME OF THE CHICKEN GODS SPEAK DIRECTLY TO YOU AND DEMAND A BURNT OFFERING CONSISTING OF THE BARREL OF BUTTER, WHICH WAS MADE WITH EVIL, TO THE CHICKEN GODS, THE SEVEN PRIME REFLECTIONS OF THE GODBEAK. THAT THE ACTUAL CHICKEN GODS IN ATTENDANCE ARE PROVIDING CALMER/THEOLOGICAL ADVICE IS LOST IN THE BLESSED JUICE-HAZE. THE CARTS ARE MERRILY SCUTTLED FOR FIREWOOD IN SHORT ORDER AND BUILT INTO A MASSIVE BONFIRE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, AND WITH ALL THE MOCK REVERENCE YOU AND YOUR WARBAND CAN MUSTER, THE OPENED BARREL OF BUTTER IS UNCEREMONIOUSLY DUMPED ON THE BONFIRE. THE REST OF THE NIGHT IS FILLED WITH REGRETTABLE DANCING AND DRUNKEN ANTICS, AND EVERYONE ENDS UP ROOSTING UNDER AND AROUND THE WRECKS OF THE CARTS. THIS BRINGS US TO THE EVENTS OF THE NEXT MORNING.

WHEN YOU WAKE UP TO A POUNDING HEADACHE, THE BONFIRE IS FADING, AND THERE IS A SMELL OF BUTTERED POULTRY OVER THE SMELL OF CHARRED WOOD AND BURNT BUTTER. (-1 CHICKEN RECRUIT) HALF-OPENED BARRELS ARE STREWN ABOUT YOUR MAKESHIFT CAMPSITE (IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD LEST WE FORGET), SPILLING THE ROTTED GRAPE JUICE ABOUT THE PERIMETER. SOME INTACT BARRELS CAN BE FOUND IN A MUDDY DITCH JUST OFF THE ROAD. THE PATROLS WILL NOT BE VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS MESS. ONE OF YOUR RECRUITS MUMBLES SOMETHING ABOUT BRINGING BACK A SURVIVING BARREL OF BUTTER IF THERE EVEN IS ONE. ANOTHER MUTTERS SOMETHING ABOUT DOG HAIRS. WHAT DO YOU DO NEXT?

[Maximum Spin]

LOCATE WHICHEVER RECRUIT WE WOKE UP NEXT TO AND DARKLY HINT THAT THE NIGHT'S EVENTS WILL REMAIN SECRET OR CERTAIN ACTIONS OF AN UNFORTUNATELY GRISLY NATURE WILL HAVE TO TAKE PLACE. AND/OR ASK FOR ITS NUMBER IF WE'RE FEELING IT. THEN RETURN TO TOWN FOR OUR PRIZE WITH WHATEVER PROOF OF HEROIC DEEDS WE CAN SCRAPE TOGETHER.

[VoidSlayer]

VOW VENGEANCE AGAINST ALL GOAT KIND FOR THE UNJUST MURDER OF OUR FOLLOWER LAST NIGHT!

[King Zultan]

WE MUST BURY OUR FALLEN COMRADE WHO'S DEATH WAS DEFINITELY NOT ACCIDENT AND WAS MOST LIKELY THE ACTIONS OF THE GOATS, WHO ARE NOW OUR MORTAL ENEMIES!

[Kilojoule Proton]

YOU HINT AT THE RECRUIT BY WHOSE SIDE YOU WOKE UP THAT LAST NIGHT'S EVENTS WILL REMAIN A SECRET OR ELSE AND ALSO ASK FOR SAID RECRUIT'S NUMBER. THE RECRUIT GIVES A DRUNK KNOWING WINK AND DOZES OFF AGAIN.

AND NOW, TO BUSINESS. THOSE EVIL GOATS! HOW DARE THEY MURDER ONE OF YOUR RECRUITS IN COLD BLOOD (OR HOT BUTTER)? WHAT CRUEL GOD, WHAT VIOLENT FORCE, WHAT LOATHSOME CAUSE DROVE THEM TO SUCH A HEINOUS CRIME? YOU SWEAR AN OATH BY ALL THE CHICKEN GODS TO ENACT A BLOODY VENGEANCE ON THEM FOR THE MURDER OF YOUR DEAR COMRADE!

YOU AND THE MORE LUCID RECRUITS SPEND A FEW HOURS SCRAPING THE BOTTOMS OF BARRELS WITH TRACES OF BUTTER AND PUTTING THEM IN ONE CONTAINER. THEY COMPLAIN THAT THIS GRUNT WORK ISN'T TERRIBLY ADVENTUROUS BUT GRUDGINGLY RESPECT YOU FOR ACTUALLY HELPING OUT. YOU STUMBLE UPON A CLUTCH OF INEXPLICABLY UNGUARDED EGGS DURING THIS EFFORT AND LEAVE THEM WELL ALONE. ONCE THE FEW SOMEWHAT INTACT BUTTER BARRELS HAVE BEEN DEPLETED, YOU ROUSE YOUR PARTY WITH A LOUD CROWING AND, THANKFUL FOR NOT HAVING BEEN CAUGHT BY A PATROL, SET FOR THE VILLAGE.


YOUR PARTY MANAGES TO RETURN TO THE VILLAGE WITHOUT INCIDENT, AND YOU PROUDLY PRESENT THE BARREL OF BUTTER SCRAPINGS TO THE QUESTGIVER. THE QUESTGIVER SEEMS ANNOYED OR POSSIBLY CONFUSED BUT THEN LOOKS INTO THE BARREL AND SNAPS TO UNDERSTANDING.

"I WAS HOPING FOR MORE, BUT I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE DO. CONGRATULATIONS, HEROIC CHICKEN PROTECTORS OF OUR HUMBLE VILLAGE! YOU HAVE DEFEATED THE EVIL BUTTERMANCER AND SAVED OUR VILLAGE IN THE UPCOMING PASTRY DEATHMATCH. HERE IS A STACK OF HAL THE HANDSOME HERON ENGRAVINGS AS PROMISED!"

YOUR RECRUITS ARE NOT AMUSED WITH THIS REWARD FOR THEIR TROUBLE, WHICH ULTIMATELY LED TO THE DEATH OF ONE OF THEIR NUMBER AT THE HORNS OF MURDEROUS GOATS. THEY CLUCK THEIR CONCERNS AND DISPLEASURE AT THIS POULTRY REWARD AND PECK YOU TO NEGOTIATE PROPER COMPENSATION FOR THEIR EFFORT OR ELSE. WHAT DO YOU DO NEXT?

[Stirk]

THIS WAS LIKE YOUR HOME TOWN LIKE YESTERDAY. HAVE YOU ALREADY FORGOTTEN THE PLACE FROM WHERE YOU CAME? CHASTISE YOUR FOLLOWERS FOR THEIR ALL CONSUMING GREED. GREED IS THE SIN OF GOATS AS THEY BOTH HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF LETTERS, TWO VOWELS, AND A G.

[Maximum Spin]

I AM CONFIDENT THE SIN OF GOATS IS GLUTTONY. THERE WAS A WHOLE THING BEFORE ABOUT THEM EATING THE WORLD. PLUS "GLUT" SOUNDS LIKE GOAT. IT IS IN FACT CODE FOR GOATTONY. WITH THAT IN MIND, NEGOTIATE A MODEST BUT NOT UNREASONABLE PAY RAISE BY HINTING THAT YOU HAVE SCENTED OTHER SORCERBUTTERERS LURKING AMONG THE PLAINS WHOSE TAINTED WARES COULD FIND THEIR WAY TO THIS VILLAGE'S BUTTERCOFFERS FOR A SMALL UP-FRONT FEE. THEN TAKE YOUR LEAVE AND NEVER THINK OF THIS TERRIBLE TOWN AGAIN UNLESS YOU GET AN OPPORTUNITY TO PILLAGE IT LATER.

[VoidSlayer]

Ask the quest giver for introduction to a more senior quest giver with a MORE FAVORABLE EFFORT TO REWARD RATIO.  Use that exact term.  Explain as such to the gang of hooligan chickens that this is how you level up to the best rewards like a broccoli and cheese casserole.

[A_Curious_Cat]

Peck the quest-giver in the lower body and leave a "present" on his shoe.

[VoidSlayer]

Peck the quest-giver in the lower body and leave a "present" on his shoe.

Can we do this and my suggestion, but yours first?  I think it would set us in a stronger bargaining position.

[A_Curious_Cat]

Sounds good to me.  I was under the impression our chicken "knight" was schizophrenic...