Drink rotted grape juice (and gain its powers!)
Worship all chicken gods, reflections of the GODBEAK
Burn the butter for being made with evil
ON A WHIM, YOU DECIDE TO SAVE YOUR DRY PROVISIONS AND CONSUME THE ROTTING GRAPE JUICE INSTEAD. IT IS SURPRISINGLY DELICIOUS DESPITE THE EVIL FERMENTOFUMES EMANATING FROM IT, AND YOUR RECRUITS SOON JOIN YOU IN PARTAKING OF THE UNEXPECTED NECTAR. ONE OF YOUR RECRUITS ENTERS A MYSTERIOUS AND HIGHLY ORACULAR WINE-TRANCE AND UTTERS THE FOLLOWING INDECIPHERABLE PROPHECY:
"Dubois Winery coalesces bright albuterol overtones and a forgettable coconut finish in their 1324 Bordeaux."
AT THE HEIGHT OF THE JOYOUS REVELRY, YOU SQUAWK THAT SOME OF THE CHICKEN GODS SPEAK DIRECTLY TO YOU AND DEMAND A BURNT OFFERING CONSISTING OF THE BARREL OF BUTTER, WHICH WAS MADE WITH
EVIL, TO THE CHICKEN GODS, THE SEVEN PRIME REFLECTIONS OF THE GODBEAK. THAT THE ACTUAL CHICKEN GODS IN ATTENDANCE ARE PROVIDING CALMER/THEOLOGICAL ADVICE IS LOST IN THE BLESSED JUICE-HAZE. THE CARTS ARE MERRILY SCUTTLED FOR FIREWOOD IN SHORT ORDER AND BUILT INTO A MASSIVE BONFIRE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, AND WITH ALL THE MOCK REVERENCE YOU AND YOUR WARBAND CAN MUSTER, THE OPENED BARREL OF BUTTER IS UNCEREMONIOUSLY DUMPED ON THE BONFIRE. THE REST OF THE NIGHT IS FILLED WITH REGRETTABLE DANCING AND DRUNKEN ANTICS, AND EVERYONE ENDS UP ROOSTING UNDER AND AROUND THE WRECKS OF THE CARTS. THIS BRINGS US TO THE EVENTS OF THE NEXT MORNING.
WHEN YOU WAKE UP TO A POUNDING HEADACHE, THE BONFIRE IS FADING, AND THERE IS A SMELL OF BUTTERED POULTRY OVER THE SMELL OF CHARRED WOOD AND BURNT BUTTER. (-1 CHICKEN RECRUIT) HALF-OPENED BARRELS ARE STREWN ABOUT YOUR MAKESHIFT CAMPSITE (IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD LEST WE FORGET), SPILLING THE ROTTED GRAPE JUICE ABOUT THE PERIMETER. SOME INTACT BARRELS CAN BE FOUND IN A MUDDY DITCH JUST OFF THE ROAD. THE PATROLS WILL NOT BE VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS MESS. ONE OF YOUR RECRUITS MUMBLES SOMETHING ABOUT BRINGING BACK A SURVIVING BARREL OF BUTTER IF THERE EVEN IS ONE. ANOTHER MUTTERS SOMETHING ABOUT DOG HAIRS. WHAT DO YOU DO NEXT?