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[Maximum Spin]

Chickens are terrible people.

[Superdorf]

Well sure. They're not people. 

[Maximum Spin]

Well sure. They're not people. 

That's so racist. 

[Stirk]

Well sure. They're not people. 

That's so racist. 

#CLM

[Maximum Spin]

For future consideration, file away a plan to start a Chook Lives Matter movement.

[Naturegirl1999]

Hire Bark Bark SQUIRREL Bark to our order.

Ask Goldteef what his end goal is by messing with time and space. Ask him if he knows where the relic is, describe said relic. If he does, ask him to let us return it for the money, of which part of said money will go Goldteef for his help

[Yellow Pixel]

Finally, the Many Voices As One were too unstable and have fused together. They have become a single, more regular chicken voice.

Search the loot see what's there, and if any of it matches the description of the relic, and ask them what's with the 59 on their scarves.

+1

Hire Bark Bark SQUIRREL Bark to our order.

Ask Goldteef what his end goal is by messing with time and space. Ask him if he knows where the relic is, describe said relic. If he does, ask him to let us return it for the money, of which part of said money will go Goldteef for his help

+1

Ask also the prisonners to tell you how many Green Thieves exist and where we can find them.

Once it is done, tell to the bandits that if they give up on their illegal activities, their lives will be spared. Then, after asking Bawk-Bawk-BAWK to watch them, assemble the Holy Chicken Order and propose to Doodle-Crow to use the Tunnels of Theft as our HQ. Suggest him also to give obligatory classes to the prisoners to try improving their behavior and morality. If it works, the Green Scarves could become some kind of knightly militia employed to maintain peace in and around Inksworth. Eventually, they could also renovate the HQ and all the buildings in the "haunted" district to make it habitable again.

This will certainly take a very long while, but if we still have some spare time today, we should try hunting down the other thieves.

[Naturegirl1999]

Finally, the Many Voices As One were too unstable and have fused together. They have become a single, more regular chicken voice.

Search the loot see what's there, and if any of it matches the description of the relic, and ask them what's with the 59 on their scarves.

+1

Hire Bark Bark SQUIRREL Bark to our order.

Ask Goldteef what his end goal is by messing with time and space. Ask him if he knows where the relic is, describe said relic. If he does, ask him to let us return it for the money, of which part of said money will go Goldteef for his help

+1

Ask also the prisonners to tell you how many Green Thieves exist and where we can find them.

Once it is done, tell to the bandits that if they give up on their illegal activities, their lives will be spared. Then, after asking Bawk-Bawk-BAWK to watch them, assemble the Holy Chicken Order and propose to Doodle-Crow to use the Tunnels of Theft as our HQ. Suggest him also to give obligatory classes to the prisoners to try improving their behavior and morality. If it works, the Green Scarves could become some kind of knightly militia employed to maintain peace in and around Inksworth. Eventually, they could also renovate the HQ and all the buildings in the "haunted" district to make it habitable again.

This will certainly take a very long while, but if we still have some spare time today, we should try hunting down the other thieves.

+1 to this, but we must remember, Doodle Crow is the leader, he can just not accept our suggestion, we need a backup plan for if that happens

[VoidSlayer]

FINISH THE INTERVIEW WE NEED TO GET THIS SCOOP AND BE HIRED AS A FULL TIME JOURNALIST INSTEAD OF AN INTERN.

[A_Curious_Cat]

Recruit Meow-Ma-Mew pulls their beak aside to rub their nose.

[Kilojoule Proton]

You search the loot in the dim light and find lots of valuable-looking items including jewelry and clothing. A fair amount could very well be called saintly too, but it's hard to tell in this light. Doubting that it'll be possible to safely carry more than about one item out for each party member in one trip, you hurriedly attempt to identify the more promising pieces on one of the tables for later:

Code: [Select]

Corruption Band: A spiky bracelet of some sort with little in the way of visible gems but lots of metal
Seraphic Key: An ivory key with six expertly carved wings
Shadow Robes: A very dark set of robes or maybe a cape. Rather large for a chicken
Sword of Abundance: A ceremonial and richly decorated sword made in the image of a cornucopia
Hellish Chalice: A warm and very spiky ruby-encrusted chalice with a foul, demonic odor
Cup of Malice: A stone mug with a snake carving incorporated into its handle
Letters of Warding: A heavy wooden board. You can't quite make out the runes on it, but they're probably warding runes
Instrument of Temptation: A flute with an awful ratty smell. On second thought, it's probably not that tempting
Disc of Misfortune: Ow! This jagged metal disc has an awfully sharp rim!
Lamp of Flame: A metal candlestick with a lit candle in
Serenity Monolith: A stone perch for small songbirds or a crutch for overly strong creatures
Medal of Grace: A silver medal apparently given to one who has exhibited grace.
Spirit Sword: A SWORDS! promotional sword-shaped bottle filled with strong spirits (but in which sense of the word?)
Virility Fleece: Weird misshapen mammal clothing with assorted gems in
Prosperous Texts: An illuminated tome making extensive use of gold leaf. You can't quite make out the words on it, but some of the pictures depict scenes of great opulence
Rebirth Cylinder: A metal tube studded with gems that would make a fine bludgeon to help people along with their rebirths

Lacking sewing supplies and sufficient lighting, you pick the closest prisoner and tell him the scarf says 00. You ask him what the scarf says. He says "Ghost Slimes." You squawk in annoyance, slap him, and ask him what the scarf says. He stutters but ultimately says 00. You are rather proud of substituting threat for thread. In most parts of the world, this is a rather profitable replacement. Nevertheless, in light of this spot of torture, you think about society as it currently exists and the roles chickens play in it before you are once again distracted with work.

With this bit of intimidation-introspection out of the way, your attention turns to Goldteef's botched interview. You continue more or less where you left off:
"Who is your favorite bard?"
"Luif de Montferrat writef the fineft verfef, but they're very obfcure. You probably haven't even feen the Lambens Ratti Curat, and that'f de Montferrat's magnum opuf!"
"What's your end goal for messing with time and space?"
"I fcurry back to the beginning and nail up more beautiful ftarf with leff evil fo we don't have to hide any more!"
"Do you know where the relic is?"
"What relic?"
"The one you stole from the monks."
"Which monkf?"
"The ones you stole a sacred relic of the Chicken Gods from a few days ago."
"Which monkf that we ftole a facred relic of the Chicken Godf from a few dayf ago?"
"This is going nowhere. How does it feel to be warden of the prisoners of the Holy Order of the Knights of Manannan?"
"What?"
"Your job is simple. Don't let Goldteef escape, and don't let anyone else escape."
"Wait, what'f going on? When will you free me? Do I need to call the Cleanerf? I thought we had a deal there..."
"Cleaners?"
"Uhh, my lipf are fealed. Do you really fink the guardf haven't tried arrefting uf before?"

You turn to the other prisoners and ask just how many green thieves exist, offering freedom to those renouncing their thieflinesses. They all give different answers such that you're not sure what to make of it. Specific responses include 1, 3, 9, 20, 39, 56, 57. You again offer to spare them from a life of prison if they answer truthfully, but this doesn't seem to change much. The thieves seem rather uninterested in working with you right now for some strange reason. You order Bawk-Bawk-BAWK to stay a while to guard the prisoners until you can work out a more permanent solution.


With the matter of the prisoners solved for now, you attempt to intercept Doodle-Crow's team before they get to their next rest stop. A chill runs down your spine when you look at the recruits on your team today, but you're currently too lucid to figure out why. As problems go, this is a rather new one. Anyway, you dearly hope Doodle-Crow is keeping to his planned schedule as you weave through the marketplace looking for "a hut between two pine trees about halfway through." Having sensed a surprising amount of approval for the qUieT from your voices, you seriously consider taking some time off the relic hunt tomorrow to have your blessing of silence reinstated. You feel like there's an even spread of support, opposition, and ambivalence regarding the blessing.

After waiting at the appointed hut for some time, you spot Doodle-Crow and call him over. You report that the thieves' den has been located and secured. All thieves in the hideout have been taken prisoner and are currently being guarded by Bawk-Bawk-BAWK. You suggest settling down in their tunnels and rehabilitating the thieves and training them as a second force of peace and order in Inksworth as an initial foray of sorts in gaining influence in the town. You also mention the "hauntedness" of the neighborhood and the great Knightly Renown, Knightly Piety, and Knightly Rent Cash to be had in exorcising the spirits, restoring the buildings, and bringing in sympathetic tenants/Order members. A landless commoner, Doodle-Crow jumps at the opportunity to seize some easy valuable land and gives his full approval to the plan. In fact, Doodle-Crow has canceled the rest of his search for the day and is eager to inspect the Order's soon-to-be-HQ. You all head over to the Tunnels where Bawk-Bawk-BAWK continues to guard the thieves.


It is early evening, and most places that aren't taverns or mysteriously productive libraries are closing for the day. What would you like to do between moving the Order's gear down into the Tunnels and turning in for the day? What about tomorrow? Would you like to make any changes to the plan to settle the Order? Are there any ghosts in the Tunnels? Whatever will Chicken Knight B-KAWK pawn and purchase? Will our beloved knight finally hire a proper steed? Answer one, some, or all, and let's find out!

[Maximum Spin]

When a holy order discovers probably-cursed magical artefacts, it must dedicate itself to guarding them against desecration or theft by evil forces. Traditionally, this would mean building an inscrutable warren of crypts filled with traps and weird puzzles to solve under our patron monastery, but a vault hidden inside a bustling city is also acceptable, so, at least for the present until we can arrange a good way to abscond with the stuff, we should keep everything where it is and make the underground space more defensible for our purposes. See if we can secure the services of a trustworthy priest to evaluate the loot and tell us what is just mundane and can be sold off, what is a holy relic that must be made available for public veneration, and what is an artefact that must be kept safe.

If anything falls into the second category there, suggest we send a runner back to our patron monastery to secure their agreement to start a branch office in the city so that we can have it venerated nearby instead of having to carry it back. If we can, obtain title on the nearest empty house, make it a church of the Chicken Gods, and rearrange the tunnels to seal off the original street entrance while making a new one leading under that house. Holy order vaults hidden in cities should always be accessed from a church. Ideally, of course, it would be an ancient church with extensive delvings underneath containing illegible gravestones worn away by time, but there will be time for that to become true eventually.

Remember to ensure our occupation of the neighbourhood is legally approved. I don't want you to get run out of another town, at least not this clearly much better one. (We're still going to burn down the old one later.) Only then should we start ghostbusting and moving people in. Also there's clearly no such thing as ghosts, because everyone knows water is the same as spirit, and all spirits of the dead presumably go to Manannan's watery/spirity realm. It's probably just infrasound. Caused by dead people.

More pressingly, attempt to reopen dialogue with the 59ers, apologising for our violent outbursts and general incoherency and promising to ROR them as soon as our business here is done. Explain the situation, that we are a knightly holy order who were contracted by a monastery to recover a relic stolen by green-scarved ruffians. Add that, as a holy order, mercy and rehabilitation are among your highest principles, though only about top 20. Share the Good News about the chicken gods, make subtle inquiries to ensure they do not worship the Great Cyan Enemy (Cyanemy) Whose Name Is Not Spoken, and ask them to join your order as Holy Interns to ease our interaction with the local folk, especially pointing out that it might be helpful to have members not prone to moments of unrelenting bloodlust.
(If they DO worship the Great Cyanemy, they'll probably have to be executed. As the Cyanemy knows no honour, it would be permissible to tell them they're in, then lead them somewhere for their "initiation" where they will be killed.)

Finally, send an honest-looking recruit out to a rich-looking part of town to solicit donations among those who have perhaps not been totally pious of late and are familiar with the idea of slipping someone a few coins to have something politely overlooked. Aim for "Salvation Army bell santa" soliciting more than "nice shop you've got here" soliciting, where possible.

Also... that's a can lid, isn't it.

[Yellow Pixel]

I agree with most propositions of Maximum Spin because the consecration of our HQ and the foundation of a church full of relics above it seems highly profitable for our holy order. I also like the idea of filling the crypts of the future church with traps and weird puzzles and to make the Tunnels more defensible. As well, I approve to make a speach to the prisonners to win their favors and to send a good-looking recruit in the richer parts of Inksworth to sollicite money. The conversion of the thieves to our faith also appears perfectly right to me, but if we discover worshipers of the Great Cyanemy I think we should try to make them abandon their religious beliefs by force before killing them, wich, if it works, could prove to our holy order the great power of the Knightly Piety.

Still from a theological point of view, I think that ghosts exist because, as my chicken school of thought tell me, the level of sinfulness of the common folk is very high (especially in Breadlamb), so most people are fated to go in the Eternal Slaughterhouse rather than in the realm of Manannan. However, the Oracles of the Henshaped Rock have revealed 24 years ago that labor shortages sometimes happen in that hellish establishment, so it is occasionally overwhelmed with an excess of souls that are released as ghosts in the mortal world. It is although unnecessary to be afraid of them because we are a brave and devout chicken knight.

I suggest thus to explore and inspect the Tunnels of Theft with Doodle-Crow while we discuss of the present matters with him and tell him about all the prestige of leading an holy order in a subterranean stronghold. We should recommend him at the same time to promote Goldteef as the second-in-command of the knightly militia that will soon be instituted if he continues to behave so appropriately and add that he has a most pleasant accent. Lastly, let's propose to our chief to eventually lend the Medal of Grace by turns to knights who will have made exceptional deeds of piety.

[Maximum Spin]

Still from a theological point of view, I think that ghosts exist because, as my chicken school of thought tell me, the level of sinfulness of the common folk is very high (especially in Breadlamb), so most people are fated to go in the Eternal Slaughterhouse rather than in the realm of Manannan. However, the Oracles of the Henshaped Rock have revealed 24 years ago that labor shortages sometimes happen in that hellish establishment, so it is occasionally overwhelmed with an excess of souls that are released as ghosts in the mortal world. It is although unnecessary to be afraid of them because we are a brave and devout chicken knight.

I'm no Manannan expert, but I think probably the most righteous souls are turned into water and drunk by His glorious personage, while the sinful are turned into water and flushed into the Sewers of Eris and Discordia. That sounds likely to me, personally.

Just in case ghosts do exist, though, look out for telltale signs of dripping and dampness.

[Naturegirl1999]

Regardless of what happens to souls after death, we need to figure out what to do now. Is it possible one of the items here is the relic? I think the only description we got is that it’s a relic, nothing about what it looks like. Maybe we should take the items to the monastery to determine if any of them are the relics, how many party members are with us right now?