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[The Lupanian]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Get away, and put an arrow in Firesale. Then Run, as fast as I can away from him.

Name: the Amazing Redundo
Photo: https://imgur.com/HftZcFD
Stats
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 4
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBettwr: 4
BMI: 1

Inventory
Bow - $41.32
12 Arrow Heads (Affixed to arrows) - $15.59
5 Arrows (6 in Bubba)(1 in Toys)- $24.99
Machete - $16.99
Knives (4)
TOTAL = $98.89

[King Zultan]

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Keep swinging the broken nail gun around and knock the shit out of that guy with it.

Spoiler: Character (click to show/hide)

NAME: Burt Smith
PHOTO:Photo

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 1
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 4
BMI: 0

ITEMS:
Utility Duck Tape: $2.97
3 Gallon Oil Free Portable Air Compressor with hose: $49.88
18-Gauge 3/8-Inch to 2-Inch Pneumatic Brad Nailer + 2000 Nails: $35.00 BROKEN
25FT Outdoor Extension Cord: $9.94

[Radio Controlled]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Off we go in search for more articles of consumer oblivion and/or tasty snacks! But first paint myself in appropriate camouflage that is sure to hide me from prying eyes while still making me look fabulous.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ty Dia the Magnificent

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 2 => 1

Glidden Grab-N-Go Barn & Fence, Exterior Paint, Red (14.72)
Gardner Bender Stainless Steel Cable Tie, 11 inch, 100 lb,10 Pk (7.58)
= $98.30
a claw hammer (12.99)
pack of playing cards (5)
Star Wars TOOOOOOYS (366)
big bags of fun sized candy bars (45)

[NJW2000]

Spoiler: action (click to show/hide)

Grab the spear, impale the Burt, knife the monkey. In that order.

Spoiler: charsheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Bugs Viscious


Photo: Photo


Stats:
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 4


Original items
Kryptonics Recruit Complete Skateboard (31" x 7.5") - $14.96
Utility Duck Tape Brand Duct Tape, Silver, 1.88 in. x 55 yd. - $2.97
Premier 4 Ft. Single Piece Metal Extension Pole 89001 - $5.47
Kitchen Knifes Set,Steak Knives, Cheese Knife, Pizza Knife, Bread Knife,Carving Knife- Multi Purpose Vibrant Stylish Kitchen Knives - $11.99
6200 Iron Non-noise Low Speeding Deep Groove Bearing Ball 10 x 30 x 9mm 10pcs - $16.55
GOLBERG Twisted Polyester Rope - White - Low Stretch, High Strength - Moisture, UV, Rot, Oil and Chemical Resistant - Rigging, Winch, String Line, Pull & Truck Rope, Crafts - 10 ft, 3/4' wide - $18.45
Ozark Trail 8x21 Lightweight Binocular, Black - $7.86
LA Linen Natural Burlap Potato Sack - $6.99
Kidde 5-B:C 3-lb Disposable Marine Fire Extinguisher - $12.44

Total: $97.68

Current Items
As above, except pole is now spear, skateboard and fire extinguisher are now miniature landspeeder in housewares, rope is now rope bits, one knife is now in Ty Dia.



The unacknowledged grandson of Sid Viscious.

[Xantalos]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Finally, time for murder! Finish Redundo off with my fire punch - if he decides to run away or something cowardly, give him a taste of my pent-up frustration by erupting hot, viscous fluid all over his body!

I’m talking about napalm, Fire Sale lost his dong to diabetes.

[piecewise]

No naturegirl? Thats odd. Well, I'll give it a few hours.

[Superdorf]

If she don't post anything:

Spoiler: Audience suggestion (click to show/hide)

Quick, poke about for some real expensive designer stuff. Gotta rack up enough merch to get outta that madhouse!

[piecewise]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Get away, and put an arrow in Firesale. Then Run, as fast as I can away from him.

Name: the Amazing Redundo
Photo: https://imgur.com/HftZcFD
Stats
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 4
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBettwr: 4
BMI: 1

Inventory
Bow - $41.32
12 Arrow Heads (Affixed to arrows) - $15.59
5 Arrows (6 in Bubba)(1 in Toys)- $24.99
Machete - $16.99
Knives (4)
TOTAL = $98.89

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Finally, time for murder! Finish Redundo off with my fire punch - if he decides to run away or something cowardly, give him a taste of my pent-up frustration by erupting hot, viscous fluid all over his body!

I’m talking about napalm, Fire Sale lost his dong to diabetes.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[6v2][1v9][8v3][2v4]

Redundo scuttles rapidly away like a cornered bug.  As soon as he gets maybe 20 feet away he jumps to his feet and fires an arrow at Fire sale's face. Fire sale snatches the arrow out of mid air and spikes it down into the ground and shakes a finger at Redundo.  Redundo sees this, nods,  and then sprints away. Fire Sale hurls a glob of napalm at his retreating foe but Redundo manages to slither away into the sporting good section.

DISAPPOINTED!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Off we go in search for more articles of consumer oblivion and/or tasty snacks! But first paint myself in appropriate camouflage that is sure to hide me from prying eyes while still making me look fabulous.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ty Dia the Magnificent

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 2 => 1

Glidden Grab-N-Go Barn & Fence, Exterior Paint, Red (14.72)
Gardner Bender Stainless Steel Cable Tie, 11 inch, 100 lb,10 Pk (7.58)
= $98.30
a claw hammer (12.99)
pack of playing cards (5)
Star Wars TOOOOOOYS (366)
big bags of fun sized candy bars (45)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ty dumps a bucket of red over his head in order to perfectly blend in as a bloody corpse lawn ornament.  Clearly being covered in wet, flammable, paint won't cause any trouble!

[6] Ty gathers 3 prepackaged costumes at 45 dollars each.

If she don't post anything:

Spoiler: Audience suggestion (click to show/hide)

Quick, poke about for some real expensive designer stuff. Gotta rack up enough merch to get outta that madhouse!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[2]

Expensive what now?

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Keep swinging the broken nail gun around and knock the shit out of that guy with it.

Spoiler: Character (click to show/hide)

NAME: Burt Smith
PHOTO:Photo

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 1
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 4
BMI: 0

ITEMS:
Utility Duck Tape: $2.97
3 Gallon Oil Free Portable Air Compressor with hose: $49.88
18-Gauge 3/8-Inch to 2-Inch Pneumatic Brad Nailer + 2000 Nails: $35.00 BROKEN
25FT Outdoor Extension Cord: $9.94

Spoiler: action (click to show/hide)

Grab the spear, impale the Burt, knife the monkey. In that order.

Spoiler: charsheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Bugs Viscious


Photo: Photo


Stats:
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 4


Original items
Kryptonics Recruit Complete Skateboard (31" x 7.5") - $14.96
Utility Duck Tape Brand Duct Tape, Silver, 1.88 in. x 55 yd. - $2.97
Premier 4 Ft. Single Piece Metal Extension Pole 89001 - $5.47
Kitchen Knifes Set,Steak Knives, Cheese Knife, Pizza Knife, Bread Knife,Carving Knife- Multi Purpose Vibrant Stylish Kitchen Knives - $11.99
6200 Iron Non-noise Low Speeding Deep Groove Bearing Ball 10 x 30 x 9mm 10pcs - $16.55
GOLBERG Twisted Polyester Rope - White - Low Stretch, High Strength - Moisture, UV, Rot, Oil and Chemical Resistant - Rigging, Winch, String Line, Pull & Truck Rope, Crafts - 10 ft, 3/4' wide - $18.45
Ozark Trail 8x21 Lightweight Binocular, Black - $7.86
LA Linen Natural Burlap Potato Sack - $6.99
Kidde 5-B:C 3-lb Disposable Marine Fire Extinguisher - $12.44

Total: $97.68

Current Items
As above, except pole is now spear, skateboard and fire extinguisher are now miniature landspeeder in housewares, rope is now rope bits, one knife is now in Ty Dia.



The unacknowledged grandson of Sid Viscious.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[6v6][8v7][6v8][3+1v12][3v2]
Bugs and Burt act at the same time, Bugs grabbing the spear and Burt swinging his makeshift club. The nailgun clocks Bugs upside the head but seems to have little effect on him. Meanwhile Bugs successfully snatches up the spear and has it raised when the Baboon jumps him again. He catches its leap with the haft of the spear and throws it over his head and behind him.

A distressing lack of murder.

Indeed. We have a coward, an idiot, two energetic yet rather incompetent fighters, and a human cherry.

It is a lovely color though, isn't it?

Hm. Its unfortunate that no one seems willing to give our Super Shopper a fair and honorable fight.

Do they usually?

No. Usually they run. Or they try to trap or trick you. Fire sale really was a one in a million.

[King Zultan]

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Keep swinging my nail gun and hitting this guy in the face with it, and if an opportunity to kick him is reveled do it.

Spoiler: Character (click to show/hide)

NAME: Burt Smith
PHOTO:Photo

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 1
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 4
BMI: 0

ITEMS:
Utility Duck Tape: $2.97
3 Gallon Oil Free Portable Air Compressor with hose: $49.88
18-Gauge 3/8-Inch to 2-Inch Pneumatic Brad Nailer + 2000 Nails: $35.00 BROKEN
25FT Outdoor Extension Cord: $9.94

[Radio Controlled]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Slide my way over to the nearest section with interesting, valuable or baffling goods or services and partake in them.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ty Dia the Magnificent

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 2 => 1

Glidden Grab-N-Go Barn & Fence, Exterior Paint, Red (14.72)
Gardner Bender Stainless Steel Cable Tie, 11 inch, 100 lb,10 Pk (7.58)
= $98.30
a claw hammer (12.99)
pack of playing cards (5)
Star Wars TOOOOOOYS (366)
big bags of fun sized candy bars (45)
3 prepackaged costumes (135)

[The Lupanian]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Search Sporting Goods for more arrows, and armor.

Name: the Amazing Redundo
Photo: https://imgur.com/HftZcFD
Stats
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 4
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBettwr: 4
BMI: 1

Inventory
Bow - $41.32
12 Arrow Heads (Affixed to arrows) - $15.59
4 Arrows (6 in Bubba)(1 in Toys)- $24.99
Machete - $16.99
Knives (4)
TOTAL = $98.89

[NJW2000]

Spoiler: action (click to show/hide)

Impale Burt, do whatever to the monkey.

Spoiler: charsheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Bugs Viscious


Photo: Photo


Stats:
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 4


Original items
Kryptonics Recruit Complete Skateboard (31" x 7.5") - $14.96
Utility Duck Tape Brand Duct Tape, Silver, 1.88 in. x 55 yd. - $2.97
Premier 4 Ft. Single Piece Metal Extension Pole 89001 - $5.47
Kitchen Knifes Set,Steak Knives, Cheese Knife, Pizza Knife, Bread Knife,Carving Knife- Multi Purpose Vibrant Stylish Kitchen Knives - $11.99
6200 Iron Non-noise Low Speeding Deep Groove Bearing Ball 10 x 30 x 9mm 10pcs - $16.55
GOLBERG Twisted Polyester Rope - White - Low Stretch, High Strength - Moisture, UV, Rot, Oil and Chemical Resistant - Rigging, Winch, String Line, Pull & Truck Rope, Crafts - 10 ft, 3/4' wide - $18.45
Ozark Trail 8x21 Lightweight Binocular, Black - $7.86
LA Linen Natural Burlap Potato Sack - $6.99
Kidde 5-B:C 3-lb Disposable Marine Fire Extinguisher - $12.44

Total: $97.68

Current Items
As above, except pole is now spear, skateboard and fire extinguisher are now miniature landspeeder in housewares, rope is now rope bits, one knife is now in Ty Dia.



The unacknowledged grandson of Sid Viscious.

[Xantalos]

Very much so!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I ain't done with you yet, you sensible, life-loving bastard! Stomp over to Sporting Goods and give him the ol' "everything around you is now on fire" treatment.

[Naturegirl1999]

Spoiler: Character (click to show/hide)

Name: Temere Handahofi
Photo: This person didn’t exist until now
Stats
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 2
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 0
BMI: 2

Inventory
Bell Cruiser Bike Helmet $14.96

Blender $9.92
Meat Cleaver $18.35
$15 white glue
$15 whiteout fluid
$10 Sillyputty

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Look for high priced items and take them

[piecewise]

Spoiler: Character (click to show/hide)

Name: Temere Handahofi
Photo: This person didn’t exist until now
Stats
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 2
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 0
BMI: 2

Inventory
Bell Cruiser Bike Helmet $14.96

Blender $9.92
Meat Cleaver $18.35
$15 white glue
$15 whiteout fluid
$10 Sillyputty

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Look for high priced items and take them

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[1] Temere discovers a box of replacement buttons for 0.36 and begins to regret not having put more points in viewbetter.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Slide my way over to the nearest section with interesting, valuable or baffling goods or services and partake in them.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ty Dia the Magnificent

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 2 => 1

Glidden Grab-N-Go Barn & Fence, Exterior Paint, Red (14.72)
Gardner Bender Stainless Steel Cable Tie, 11 inch, 100 lb,10 Pk (7.58)
= $98.30
a claw hammer (12.99)
pack of playing cards (5)
Star Wars TOOOOOOYS (366)
big bags of fun sized candy bars (45)
3 prepackaged costumes (135)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[6] Ty, idly stealing and eating a candy bar, meanders south and into the pet section. He fully expects to find nothing put pet supplies but to his surprise comes across not just that, but actual animals. He considers their terrariums and cages carefully. Genetically engineered jackalope?  Too gimmicky. Purebred Pacific Poogle? Their acid glands make them a bit of a handful. Sack of cashmere mini-sheep? Valuable but boring. Ah! There it is! The perfect pet!

Ty emerges from the pet aisle riding on every little girl's dream: A Japanese Colossal hornet the size of a donkey. (454 dollars, on sale!)

Spoiler: action (click to show/hide)

Impale Burt, do whatever to the monkey.

Spoiler: charsheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Bugs Viscious


Photo: Photo


Stats:
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 4


Original items
Kryptonics Recruit Complete Skateboard (31" x 7.5") - $14.96
Utility Duck Tape Brand Duct Tape, Silver, 1.88 in. x 55 yd. - $2.97
Premier 4 Ft. Single Piece Metal Extension Pole 89001 - $5.47
Kitchen Knifes Set,Steak Knives, Cheese Knife, Pizza Knife, Bread Knife,Carving Knife- Multi Purpose Vibrant Stylish Kitchen Knives - $11.99
6200 Iron Non-noise Low Speeding Deep Groove Bearing Ball 10 x 30 x 9mm 10pcs - $16.55
GOLBERG Twisted Polyester Rope - White - Low Stretch, High Strength - Moisture, UV, Rot, Oil and Chemical Resistant - Rigging, Winch, String Line, Pull & Truck Rope, Crafts - 10 ft, 3/4' wide - $18.45
Ozark Trail 8x21 Lightweight Binocular, Black - $7.86
LA Linen Natural Burlap Potato Sack - $6.99
Kidde 5-B:C 3-lb Disposable Marine Fire Extinguisher - $12.44

Total: $97.68

Current Items
As above, except pole is now spear, skateboard and fire extinguisher are now miniature landspeeder in housewares, rope is now rope bits, one knife is now in Ty Dia.



The unacknowledged grandson of Sid Viscious.

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Keep swinging my nail gun and hitting this guy in the face with it, and if an opportunity to kick him is reveled do it.

Spoiler: Character (click to show/hide)

NAME: Burt Smith
PHOTO:Photo

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 1
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 4
BMI: 0

ITEMS:
Utility Duck Tape: $2.97
3 Gallon Oil Free Portable Air Compressor with hose: $49.88
18-Gauge 3/8-Inch to 2-Inch Pneumatic Brad Nailer + 2000 Nails: $35.00 BROKEN
25FT Outdoor Extension Cord: $9.94

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[6v2][8v2][7+2v1][3]
Bugs ducks one more flailing swing of the drill and then lunges forward with his spear. The knife sinks into Burt's eye and emerges out the back of his head a moment later, killing him deader than the dinosaurs. Bugs lets Burt topple over backwards, releasing the spear as he does, and uses his now free hands to catch the baboon. The next minute or so of footage here has been censored by the government, but when the footage kicks back on the baboon is riding on Bug's back and seems to be friendly with him now.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Search Sporting Goods for more arrows, and armor.

Name: the Amazing Redundo
Photo: https://imgur.com/HftZcFD
Stats
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 4
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBettwr: 4
BMI: 1

Inventory
Bow - $41.32
12 Arrow Heads (Affixed to arrows) - $15.59
4 Arrows (6 in Bubba)(1 in Toys)- $24.99
Machete - $16.99
Knives (4)
TOTAL = $98.89

Very much so!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I ain't done with you yet, you sensible, life-loving bastard! Stomp over to Sporting Goods and give him the ol' "everything around you is now on fire" treatment.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[1v5][9] [2v3]
Redundo spends a few frantic seconds checking aisles until he finally comes across what he's looking for: Hunting bows. He passes the bows themselves and instead grabs a package of arrows. He grabs a 12 pack of fiberglass arrows and a 12 pack of broad head hunting arrowheads for a total of 85 dollars. He's in the midst of screwing the first arrowhead on when Firesale stomps angrily into the area. He doesn't seem to even bother aiming and instead simply opens up with both hand mounted flamethrowers, spraying jellied gasoline down the aisles in a burning tidal wave.

Redundo  scampers out of the aisles as they catch fire, ducking as bullets start to cook off and hurl themselves around like angry wasps. He makes it out to the main Aisle, between sporting goods and Automotive/hardware. But Fire Sale is there as well, standing in front of the still burning paint section, framed by fire.  Redundo is cornered, the burning sports goods section to the left, burning paint section in front of him, to the right, and Fire Sale in the middle. The noose is closing.

Ah our two gladiators have finally figured out which is superior.

Yes. It was the one that CENSORED the baboon.

I'm afraid you can't say that that on air, All Star. The Censorship Bureau is fine with violence and death but...that is beyond what even we can show.

I don't know why. Its a perfectly natural thing. Beautiful even.

Be that as it may, the rules are the rules! And we here at Brawlmart would never subvert the rules of our great country.

Right.  Well looks like that coward over there is finally getting his comeuppance.

Maybe...maybe. He's made a career out of running away though, he's quite good at it. Personally I'm just interested to see how our new animal companions tip the odds.