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Author Topic: BRAWL-MART: Episode 3: Screech, Rustle, Clang.  (Read 30895 times)

Naturegirl1999

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piecewise

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Re: BRAWL-MART: 4 Remain.
« Reply #106 on: August 24, 2020, 09:12:00 pm »

Breadman has... lets call it 10 hours to post or audience controls him.

Coolrune206

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Re: BRAWL-MART: 4 Remain.
« Reply #107 on: August 25, 2020, 04:14:16 am »

Bread Man waits for Billy to get closer to him, then bursts forth from his Wrapping Paper, Bread-Chucks whirling, screaming at the top of his lungs. He attempts to bludgeon Billy to death with the power of Bread.

Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
[/quote]
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"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

piecewise

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Re: BRAWL-MART: 4 Remain.
« Reply #108 on: August 25, 2020, 12:40:03 pm »

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Character stuff (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Bread Man waits for Billy to get closer to him, then bursts forth from his Wrapping Paper, Bread-Chucks whirling, screaming at the top of his lungs. He attempts to bludgeon Billy to death with the power of Bread.

Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)
"Now I truly see! This world is incomplete, filled with raw ingredients that have not yet been forged into their intended shape! The garlic man earlier, my current glutenous quarry, even my habit of attempting to stay alive are all symptoms of this world's imperfection! My purpose is clear - this shopping competition is but a paltry veil for my true test! Everything in the world can be found in Wal-Mart! Thus I must immolate this holy conglomerate of consumerism with fire, so that I may purify the world in truth as well as symbol! The beating heart of this society is wrapped in bacon! AND I AM THE CAST IRON SKILLET UPON WHICH THE FAT MAY BE RENDERED OUT, AND THE WORTHY TRANSMOGRIFIED INTO CRISPY, ARTERY-CLOGGING PERFECTION! EVERYTHING WILL BURN!"

If I cannot find you, the flames will! Set everything on fire! If anyone should assault me, let them meet the embrace of my pyromania (and multitude of improvised weapons)! This store will burn as an altar to fire itself!

Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Kick back and relax, grab some hotdogs while I'm here.


Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ty grabs several hotdogs off the body of the vendor he just murdered with his girth and returns to the stands, holding one in both hands and eating them both at the same time.

Spoiler: audience suggestion (click to show/hide)
Noted.

Audience action omnibus
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

WE ARE MOMENTS AWAY! TWO REMAIN! Will the burning man  hold his own against All Star? Will Steve, a dark horse through this entire competition, stick it out through cunning and good luck? THEIR DREAMS AND THEIR LIVES ARE ON THE LINE!

ziizo

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Re: BRAWL-MART: 2 Remain.
« Reply #109 on: August 25, 2020, 12:45:06 pm »

Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

Xantalos

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Re: BRAWL-MART: 2 Remain.
« Reply #110 on: August 25, 2020, 01:28:26 pm »

Billy points at All-Star, the fire boiling his skin away matched by the manic fervor in his eyes. "You! You feel the same fire and high cholesterol in your heart that burns upon my breast! Our battle will be legendary!"

He turns his head to the ceiling - and presumably the PA system installed throughout this store. "Corporate overlords," he howls. "Grace our fight with some of that american weeb music!"

Use my remaining javelins, torch, and lighters as ranged weapons or improvised grenades as All-Star closes the distance. Then duke it out, flaming hammer to sharpened hockey stick! May the person most clinically unfit to function in a civilized society win!

SHEET:
Name: Billy 'Responsible Parent' Beatstick
Photo
STATZ:
4 Strengtho
1 Speedize
2 Thrustadjust
4 Hardsy
0 Intellectable
3 Viewbetter
1 BMI

Inventory:
2 Knife Javelins, 2 ft long - one somewhere in the halls
1 Cotton Torch, 4 ft long (very much lit)
1 Sledgehammer (ANOINTED WITH BLOOD)
2 cans of WD-40
20 Lighters
2 Rolls of Tape
3 Packs of Juicy Fruit (It's Gonna Move Ya)

Loot:
Various pots and pans ($117.50)
Action figures (BIONICLE REPRESENT) ($78)
Excessively sharp children's toys ($84)

Conditions: On fire! EXULTANT
« Last Edit: August 25, 2020, 01:30:23 pm by Xantalos »
Logged
Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

piecewise

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Re: BRAWL-MART: 2 Remain.
« Reply #111 on: August 25, 2020, 02:13:50 pm »

Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)


Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Billy points at All-Star, the fire boiling his skin away matched by the manic fervor in his eyes. "You! You feel the same fire and high cholesterol in your heart that burns upon my breast! Our battle will be legendary!"

He turns his head to the ceiling - and presumably the PA system installed throughout this store. "Corporate overlords," he howls. "Grace our fight with some of that american weeb music!"

Use my remaining javelins, torch, and lighters as ranged weapons or improvised grenades as All-Star closes the distance. Then duke it out, flaming hammer to sharpened hockey stick! May the person most clinically unfit to function in a civilized society win!

SHEET:
Name: Billy 'Responsible Parent' Beatstick
Photo
STATZ:
4 Strengtho
1 Speedize
2 Thrustadjust
4 Hardsy
0 Intellectable
3 Viewbetter
1 BMI

Inventory:
2 Knife Javelins, 2 ft long - one somewhere in the halls
1 Cotton Torch, 4 ft long (very much lit)
1 Sledgehammer (ANOINTED WITH BLOOD)
2 cans of WD-40
20 Lighters
2 Rolls of Tape
3 Packs of Juicy Fruit (It's Gonna Move Ya)

Loot:
Various pots and pans ($117.50)
Action figures (BIONICLE REPRESENT) ($78)
Excessively sharp children's toys ($84)

Conditions: On fire! EXULTANT

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 25, 2020, 02:15:27 pm by piecewise »
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The Lupanian

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Re: BRAWL-MART: The Only Thing I Know for Real
« Reply #112 on: August 25, 2020, 02:24:36 pm »

Spoiler: Audience (click to show/hide)
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I only ate a few vampire hearts. Like, three tops. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Go check out Shadow of the Void!

ziizo

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Re: BRAWL-MART: The Only Thing I Know for Real
« Reply #113 on: August 25, 2020, 02:28:22 pm »

Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

Xantalos

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Re: BRAWL-MART: The Only Thing I Know for Real
« Reply #114 on: August 25, 2020, 03:32:25 pm »

”TREMENDOUS SIZE! RESPECTABLE MUSCLE! YOUR GUTS ARE WORTHY!”

Murdermurdermurder! If I get fatally wounded, use my various lighters and WD-40 cans to immolate my body after death in a fiery explosion.

SHEET:
Name: Billy 'Responsible Parent' Beatstick
Photo
STATZ:
4 Strengtho
1 Speedize
2 Thrustadjust
4 Hardsy
0 Intellectable
3 Viewbetter
1 BMI

Inventory:
2 Knife Javelins, 2 ft long - one somewhere in the halls
1 Cotton Torch, 4 ft long (very much lit)
1 Sledgehammer (ANOINTED WITH BLOOD)
2 cans of WD-40
20 Lighters
2 Rolls of Tape
3 Packs of Juicy Fruit (It's Gonna Move Ya)

Loot:
Various pots and pans ($117.50)
Action figures (BIONICLE REPRESENT) ($78)
Excessively sharp children's toys ($84)

Conditions: On fire! EXULTANT
Logged
Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

piecewise

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Re: BRAWL-MART: The Only Thing I Know for Real
« Reply #115 on: August 25, 2020, 06:26:19 pm »

Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)



Spoiler (click to show/hide)

”TREMENDOUS SIZE! RESPECTABLE MUSCLE! YOUR GUTS ARE WORTHY!”

Murdermurdermurder! If I get fatally wounded, use my various lighters and WD-40 cans to immolate my body after death in a fiery explosion.

SHEET:
Name: Billy 'Responsible Parent' Beatstick
Photo
STATZ:
4 Strengtho
1 Speedize
2 Thrustadjust
4 Hardsy
0 Intellectable
3 Viewbetter
1 BMI

Inventory:
2 Knife Javelins, 2 ft long - one somewhere in the halls
1 Cotton Torch, 4 ft long (very much lit)
1 Sledgehammer (ANOINTED WITH BLOOD)
2 cans of WD-40
20 Lighters
2 Rolls of Tape
3 Packs of Juicy Fruit (It's Gonna Move Ya)

Loot:
Various pots and pans ($117.50)
Action figures (BIONICLE REPRESENT) ($78)
Excessively sharp children's toys ($84)

Conditions: On fire! EXULTANT
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Xantalos

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Re: BRAWL-MART: The Only Thing I Know for Real
« Reply #116 on: August 25, 2020, 06:40:02 pm »

"This is life! Just guys being dudes! I will reach up into heaven and eat God's heart upon the altar of glory! MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA-"

You think you can be tricksy with me, you big adorable lunk? Time to afflict you with the most common sports injury - FATALITY!

SHEET:
Name: Billy 'Responsible Parent' Beatstick
Photo
STATZ:
4 Strengtho
1 Speedize
2 Thrustadjust
4 Hardsy
0 Intellectable
3 Viewbetter
1 BMI

Inventory:
2 Knife Javelins, 2 ft long - one somewhere in the halls
1 Cotton Torch, 4 ft long (very much lit)
1 Sledgehammer (ANOINTED WITH BLOOD)
2 cans of WD-40
20 Lighters
2 Rolls of Tape
3 Packs of Juicy Fruit (It's Gonna Move Ya)

Loot:
Various pots and pans ($117.50)
Action figures (BIONICLE REPRESENT) ($78)
Excessively sharp children's toys ($84)

Conditions: On fire! EXULTANT! Somehow keeping up with the Super Shopper!
Logged
Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

ziizo

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Re: BRAWL-MART: The Only Thing I Know for Real
« Reply #117 on: August 25, 2020, 06:47:54 pm »

Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 25, 2020, 06:50:00 pm by ziizo »
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

The Lupanian

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Re: BRAWL-MART: The Only Thing I Know for Real
« Reply #118 on: August 25, 2020, 08:21:28 pm »

Spoiler: Audience (click to show/hide)
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I only ate a few vampire hearts. Like, three tops. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Go check out Shadow of the Void!

piecewise

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Re: BRAWL-MART: The Only Thing I Know for Real
« Reply #119 on: August 25, 2020, 08:39:54 pm »

"This is life! Just guys being dudes! I will reach up into heaven and eat God's heart upon the altar of glory! MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA-"

You think you can be tricksy with me, you big adorable lunk? Time to afflict you with the most common sports injury - FATALITY!

SHEET:
Name: Billy 'Responsible Parent' Beatstick
Photo
STATZ:
4 Strengtho
1 Speedize
2 Thrustadjust
4 Hardsy
0 Intellectable
3 Viewbetter
1 BMI

Inventory:
2 Knife Javelins, 2 ft long - one somewhere in the halls
1 Cotton Torch, 4 ft long (very much lit)
1 Sledgehammer (ANOINTED WITH BLOOD)
2 cans of WD-40
20 Lighters
2 Rolls of Tape
3 Packs of Juicy Fruit (It's Gonna Move Ya)

Loot:
Various pots and pans ($117.50)
Action figures (BIONICLE REPRESENT) ($78)
Excessively sharp children's toys ($84)

Conditions: On fire! EXULTANT! Somehow keeping up with the Super Shopper!
Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

[4]

[4v1][11v4][9+3v6+2][10v3][3+3v4+1][Billy BMI to 0]
Billy leaps forward, putting his weight into a horizontal blow that impacts below All Star's Shoulder pads.  He feels ribs break with the impact. All Star doesn't flinch. In fact he seemed to be expecting the blow. He uses the opening it presents and moves fluidly, the hockeystick spinning, and cleaves into Billy's chest, straight through the cooking sheet. The blade bites into side and Billy staggers back, pulling it out of himself and raising his hammer.  All Star's teeth are bloody, and he's leaning, clearly feeling the ribs, but he squares up as well.  They're just about to charge when the announcer interrupts them.


THATS IT FOLKS! ITS ALL OVER! THE WINNER BY CHECKOUT IIIIIIIIIS STEVE!


Steve, in check out, dumps the jeans onto the floor and takes a long hard drink from his Crown Jewel bottle.  Two show girls -bedecked in sequins and feathers-  emerge from the armored shutters enclosing the store and saunter up to either side of him, holding his arms aloft in victory.


Back in the party Aisle All Star lowers his hockey stick  and leans on it a bit. "Ain't that how it always goes?" He mutters, spitting blood onto the tile.  He looks over at Billy, who is still physically smoldering, and smirks.

"They'll probably bring you in for the next episode, if you ask'em."


Back at the checkouts the host himself, in chrome suit, black shades, and dazzling grin, is shaking hands with Steve. He holds  his Microphone cane up to Steve's face and asks

You've just won Brawl-mart! You've gotten yourself one, all expenses paid, legally exempt, wish. How does it feel? And more importantly, What do you wish for!?


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