Completely unrelated to this, a pallet of imitation godpaper made from the jade quarried in the spooky cavern was found at the Ministry of Records[/color] today. Those selected to receive rations of the imitation godpaper complain of its terrestrialness and fragility.
A quick investigation reveals that this godpaper probably came from the Ministry of Civilization. Mion sends an
angrily carved stone tablet to Du-Uke Du-Ur of the Ministry of Civilization.
Tell Du-Ur: Mion sends the following message:
When you came, you said to me as follows : "I will give Gatherer-of-Godpaper Gimil-Sin (when he comes) fine quality godpaper sheets." You left then but you did not do what you promised me. You put godpaper which were not good before my messenger (Ṣīt-Sin) and said "If you want to take them, take them, if you do not want to take them, go away!"
What do you take me for, that you treat somebody like me with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to collect the bag with my glory (deposited with you) but you have treated me with contempt by sending them back to me empty-handed several times, and that through rival Ministry territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with the Ministry of Records who has treated me in this way? You alone treat my messenger with contempt! On account of that one (trifling) title which I took from you, you feel free to speak in such a way, while I have given to the Sun on your behalf 1,080 pounds of godpaper, and Šumi-abum has likewise given 1,080 pounds of godpaper, apart from what we both have had written on a sealed tablet to be kept in the temple of the Sun.
How have you treated me for that godpaper? You have withheld my glory bag from me in enemy territory; it is now up to you to restore (my glory) to me in full.
Take cognizance that (from now on) I will not accept here any godpaper from you that is not of fine quality. I shall (from now on) select and take the godpaper stacks individually in my own yard, and I shall exercise against you my right of rejection because you have treated me with contempt.
Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth,
broods in their offices. The common-folk of the ministry resented their wise rule, no doubt accustomed to the mismanagement of the corrupt previous gods and thus unable to comprehend what good and competent administration looks like. Still, they would learn in time.
Ministry Task, High Level Summary:
Continue attempting to catch up on our recordkeeping!Ministerial Focus Mandate Form VFDSAI-3819HCSD-31298DSAC
Ministry: Ministry of Records
Mandater: Archivist Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth
Focus Mandate: That the Ministry of Records makes strides and progress to catch up on some of its book-keeping and recording!
Incentives for employees: Keep getting paid
Punishments for employee failure: Demotion to internship
Did this Focus Mandate test well with focus groups: Yes
Additional Budget Allocation: None
Form Authorization Code: [Neither] snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these clerks from the swift completion of their appointed duties
Ministerial Focus Mandate Form VFDSAI-3819HCSD-31298DSAC
Ministry: Ministry of Records
Mandater: Archivist Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth
Focus Mandate: That the Ministry of Records makes strides and progress to catch up on some of its book-keeping and recording!
Incentives for employees: Keep getting paid
Punishments for employee failure: Demotion to internship
Did this Focus Mandate test well with focus groups: Yes
Additional Budget Allocation: None
Form Authorization Code: [Neither] snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these clerks from the swift completion of their appointed duties
Ministerial Focus Mandate Form VFDSAI-3819HCSD-31298DSAC
Ministry: Ministry of Records
Mandater: Archivist Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth
Focus Mandate: That the Ministry of Records makes strides and progress to catch up on some of its book-keeping and recording!
Incentives for employees: Keep getting paid
Punishments for employee failure: Demotion to internship
Did this Focus Mandate test well with focus groups: Yes
Additional Budget Allocation: None
Form Authorization Code: [Neither] snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these clerks from the swift completion of their appointed duties
Action 1, High Level Summary:
Timeflow continues to be further dilated, meaning that for each turning of the heavens a day passes in the mortal world. [
It would still be illegal for Mion to accept bribes for less extreme time dilation.]
Adjusting Perceived Timeflow within the Heaven Reality Bubble to Optimize Workflow Form AMSLV-C37-245G
Are you authorized to alter the timeflow?: Yes
What are your Authorizations?: Archivist of the Ministry of Records
Initiator of Timeflow Change: Mion, Goddess of Murder and Greed
Current Timeflow: 1 Mortal World Week per Turning of the Heavens
Target Adjusted Timeflow: 1 Mortal World Day per Turning of the Heavens
Does this comply with the stated rules and regulations on maximal timeflow adjustment per Turning of the Heavens?: Yes
Has this adjustment been approved by the metaphysical k-bureaucratic j-guidances and p-visions[KJP], even if it is violation of the rules and regulations?: Yes
What does time fly like?: A cricket
Are you sure you want to make this alteration: Yes
Are you really really really sure?: Yes
Form Authorization Code: N/A
Adjusting Perceived Timeflow within the Heaven Reality Bubble to Optimize Workflow Form AMSLV-C37-245G
Are you authorized to alter the timeflow?: Yes
What are your Authorizations?: Archivist of the Ministry of Records
Initiator of Timeflow Change: Mion, Goddess of Murder and Greed
Current Timeflow: 1 Mortal World Week per Turning of the Heavens
Target Adjusted Timeflow: 1 Mortal World Day per Turning of the Heavens
Does this comply with the stated rules and regulations on maximal timeflow adjustment per Turning of the Heavens?: Yes
Has this adjustment been approved by the metaphysical k-bureaucratic j-guidances and p-visions[KJP], even if it is violation of the rules and regulations?: Yes
What does time fly like?: A cricket
Are you sure you want to make this alteration: Yes
Are you really really really sure?: Yes
Form Authorization Code: N/A
Adjusting Perceived Timeflow within the Heaven Reality Bubble to Optimize Workflow Form AMSLV-C37-245G
Are you authorized to alter the timeflow?: Yes
What are your Authorizations?: Archivist of the Ministry of Records
Initiator of Timeflow Change: Mion, Goddess of Murder and Greed
Current Timeflow: 1 Mortal World Week per Turning of the Heavens
Target Adjusted Timeflow: 1 Mortal World Day per Turning of the Heavens
Does this comply with the stated rules and regulations on maximal timeflow adjustment per Turning of the Heavens?: Yes
Has this adjustment been approved by the metaphysical k-bureaucratic j-guidances and p-visions[KJP], even if it is violation of the rules and regulations?: Yes
What does time fly like?: A cricket
Are you sure you want to make this alteration: Yes
Are you really really really sure?: Yes
Form Authorization Code: N/A
Action 2, High Level Summary:
Acquire elephant pastures (-12 Glory)Land Rental Agreement Form GRE-EED-024D
Renter: Archivist Mion
Rentee: Angel McScrooge
Rental: Heavenly Elephant pastures including fruit-bearing celestial Amarula trees
Rental Price: 12 glory
Rental Duration: 3 Turnings of the Heavens, until Ajanar leaves with his elephants
Further Conditions: Install a member of the Agressive Waterfowl Ministry into the Council.
Form Activation Code: n/a
Land Rental Agreement Form GRE-EED-024D
Renter: Archivist Mion
Rentee: Angel McScrooge
Rental: Heavenly Elephant pastures including fruit-bearing celestial Amarula trees
Rental Price: 12 glory
Rental Duration: 3 Turnings of the Heavens, until Ajanar leaves with his elephants
Further Conditions: Install a member of the Agressive Waterfowl Ministry into the Council.
Form Activation Code: n/a
Land Rental Agreement Form GRE-EED-024D
Renter: Archivist Mion
Rentee: Angel McScrooge
Rental: Heavenly Elephant pastures including fruit-bearing celestial Amarula trees
Rental Price: 12 glory
Rental Duration: 3 Turnings of the Heavens, until Ajanar leaves with his elephants
Further Conditions: Install a member of the Agressive Waterfowl Ministry into the Council.
Form Activation Code: n/a
Ministry of Records Funding: Slightly overfunded
Action 3, High Level Summary:
Use our excess funds to raise salaries for hard workers and begin promoting interns that perform well to salaried positions. This includes unfreezing the bureau head salaries, though they did perform underwhelmingly. This will go on their permanent work record, "Performed underwhelmingly", with a little frowny face.Employee Evaluation Form SAF-REV-139
Employees being Evaluated: Bureau Heads of the Ministry of Records
Evaluator: Archivist of the Ministry of Records
Evalutation: Performed Underwhelmingly
Additional Comments
Form Activation Code: n/a
Employee Evaluation Form SAF-REV-139
Employees being Evaluated: Bureau Heads of the Ministry of Records
Evaluator: Archivist of the Ministry of Records
Evalutation: Performed Underwhelmingly
Additional Comments
Form Activation Code: n/a
Employee Evaluation Form SAF-REV-139
Employees being Evaluated: Bureau Heads of the Ministry of Records
Evaluator: Archivist of the Ministry of Records
Evalutation: Performed Underwhelmingly
Additional Comments
Form Activation Code: n/a
Ministry Salary Management Form POW-ERS-354B
Ministry being Maintained: Ministry of Records
Organizer of the Salaries: Archivist Mion
High Level Directives:
- Increased pay for those actually doing their jobs instead of wasting valuable ministry time on unauthorized internal investigations while we have a massive backlog
- End pay freeze for Bureau Heads as evaluation period has passed.
- Begin promoting well performing and experienced interns to salaried positions.
Do you have the excess funds to pay for all this?: Yes, probably, I hope so.
Form Activation Code: N/A
Ministry Salary Management Form POW-ERS-354B
Ministry being Maintained: Ministry of Records
Organizer of the Salaries: Archivist Mion
High Level Directives:
- Increased pay for those actually doing their jobs instead of wasting valuable ministry time on unauthorized internal investigations while we have a massive backlog
- End pay freeze for Bureau Heads as evaluation period has passed.
- Begin promoting well performing and experienced interns to salaried positions.
Do you have the excess funds to pay for all this?: Yes, probably, I hope so.
Form Activation Code: N/A
Ministry Salary Management Form POW-ERS-354B
Ministry being Maintained: Ministry of Records
Organizer of the Salaries: Archivist Mion
High Level Directives:
- Increased pay for those actually doing their jobs instead of wasting valuable ministry time on unauthorized internal investigations while we have a massive backlog
- End pay freeze for Bureau Heads as evaluation period has passed.
- Begin promoting well performing and experienced interns to salaried positions.
Do you have the excess funds to pay for all this?: Yes, probably, I hope so.
Form Activation Code: N/A
Action 4, High Level Summary:
Good news for our internal investigators. They are now personally assigned to prestigious task of collect mineral samples from the comet for our records. [6 GLORY]Work Assignment Form GVJS-FSC32-46C
Assigner: Archivist Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth
Ministry: Ministry of Records.
Mission: Travel to the recently sighted comet, collect mineral samples, catalog its various features, return with the mineral samples and a three hundred page report on the comets trajectory, age, size, mass and other features or characteristics of note, including an analysis of why comets are vital to the history and culture of heaven, and a sign of great astronomical and astrological significance since times primordial.
Who is assigned to this Mission: The internal investigators of the Ministry of Records
Budget Allocation: A Can-Do Attitude + [6 Glory from the Ministry of Glory]
Additional Resource Allocation?: Apparently idle hands that have nothing better to do with their time, DESPITE OUR MASSIVE BACKLOG
Form Authorization Code: None
Work Assignment Form GVJS-FSC32-46C
Assigner: Archivist Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth
Ministry: Ministry of Records.
Mission: Travel to the recently sighted comet, collect mineral samples, catalog its various features, return with the mineral samples and a three hundred page report on the comets trajectory, age, size, mass and other features or characteristics of note, including an analysis of why comets are vital to the history and culture of heaven, and a sign of great astronomical and astrological significance since times primordial.
Who is assigned to this Mission: The internal investigators of the Ministry of Records
Budget Allocation: A Can-Do Attitude + [6 Glory from the Ministry of Glory]
Additional Resource Allocation?: Apparently idle hands that have nothing better to do with their time, DESPITE OUR MASSIVE BACKLOG
Form Authorization Code: None
Work Assignment Form GVJS-FSC32-46C
Assigner: Archivist Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth
Ministry: Ministry of Records.
Mission: Travel to the recently sighted comet, collect mineral samples, catalog its various features, return with the mineral samples and a three hundred page report on the comets trajectory, age, size, mass and other features or characteristics of note, including an analysis of why comets are vital to the history and culture of heaven, and a sign of great astronomical and astrological significance since times primordial.
Who is assigned to this Mission: The internal investigators of the Ministry of Records
Budget Allocation: A Can-Do Attitude + [6 Glory from the Ministry of Glory]
Additional Resource Allocation?: Apparently idle hands that have nothing better to do with their time, DESPITE OUR MASSIVE BACKLOG
Form Authorization Code: None
Action 5, High Level Summary:
Perform awkward team-building exercises with Records middle management to make it less likely they will try to backstab me during office politics.Team-Building Exercises Planning Form AWK-WAR-222
Team-Leader: Archivist Mion
Future Team-Players: Anyone with a smidgen of authority in the Ministry of Records
Ministry: Ministry of Records
Trust Exercises: Trust-falls made ever more trustworthy by angels just being able to float when they're about to hit the ground
Team-Building Activities: Filling out forms while blindfolded under the instructions of your fellow team-players
Form Activation Code: N/A
Team-Building Exercises Planning Form AWK-WAR-222
Team-Leader: Archivist Mion
Future Team-Players: Anyone with a smidgen of authority in the Ministry of Records
Ministry: Ministry of Records
Trust Exercises: Trust-falls made ever more trustworthy by angels just being able to float when they're about to hit the ground
Team-Building Activities: Filling out forms while blindfolded under the instructions of your fellow team-players
Form Activation Code: N/A
Team-Building Exercises Planning Form AWK-WAR-222
Team-Leader: Archivist Mion
Future Team-Players: Anyone with a smidgen of authority in the Ministry of Records
Ministry: Ministry of Records
Trust Exercises: Trust-falls made ever more trustworthy by angels just being able to float when they're about to hit the ground
Team-Building Activities: Filling out forms while blindfolded under the instructions of your fellow team-players
Form Activation Code: N/A
Action 6, High Level Summary:
Mion will support the pairing of General Hao and Oracle Mei Bi for the throne, thus greatly boosting their imperial legitimacy and drastically lowering their chances of mysteriously being murdered. Application for the Throne Form SCR-1243-G
Applicant(s): General Hao & Oracle Mei Bi (married co-rulers)
Patron(s): Tuook & Lu
Further Supporters if Any: Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth
Claim: Mandate of Heaven!
Divine Legitimacy: Yes
Glory donations: 0 (Mion) ? (Tuook) ? (Lu)
Form Authorization Code: n/a
Application for the Throne Form SCR-1243-G
Applicant(s): General Hao & Oracle Mei Bi (married co-rulers)
Patron(s): Tuook & Lu
Further Supporters if Any: Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth
Claim: Mandate of Heaven!
Divine Legitimacy: Yes
Glory donations: 0 (Mion) ? (Tuook) ? (Lu)
Form Authorization Code: n/a
Application for the Throne Form SCR-1243-G
Applicant(s): General Hao & Oracle Mei Bi (married co-rulers)
Patron(s): Tuook & Lu
Further Supporters if Any: Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth
Claim: Mandate of Heaven!
Divine Legitimacy: Yes
Glory donations: 0 (Mion) ? (Tuook) ? (Lu)
Form Authorization Code: n/a
Action 7, High Level Summary:
Disfigure FasVengeful Retribution on Bureaucratic Rivals Form KIL-KIL-234
Foul Plotter: Mion
Thus which thou feuds with: Fas
The Most Foul Plot: Meet Fas upon the comet, and use my many knives to completely disfigure them, ruining their beauty, thus disqualifying them for the Fairest Title. Force-feed them a poisoned apple which makes them all ugly and wrinkly!
Knife Funds: 2 Glory
Form Activation Code: Fas is [neither] loving nor beautiful.
Vengeful Retribution on Bureaucratic Rivals Form KIL-KIL-234
Foul Plotter: Mion
Thus which thou feuds with: Fas
The Most Foul Plot: Meet Fas upon the comet, and use my many knives to completely disfigure them, ruining their beauty, thus disqualifying them for the Fairest Title. Force-feed them a poisoned apple which makes them all ugly and wrinkly!
Knife Funds: 2 Glory
Form Activation Code: Fas is [neither] loving nor beautiful.
Vengeful Retribution on Bureaucratic Rivals Form KIL-KIL-234
Foul Plotter: Mion
Thus which thou feuds with: Fas
The Most Foul Plot: Meet Fas upon the comet, and use my many knives to completely disfigure them, ruining their beauty, thus disqualifying them for the Fairest Title. Force-feed them a poisoned apple which makes them all ugly and wrinkly!
Knife Funds: 2 Glory
Form Activation Code: Fas is [neither] loving nor beautiful.
Action 8, High Level Summary:
Pamper myself to bring my beauty to "The Fairest" levels.Beauty Treatment Course Plan Form BEA-UTY-678
That Which Shall Be Beautified: Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth
Glory Allocation for Beauty Creams and other Cosmetics and the hiring of Master Beauticians: 6 Glory
How beautiful to become: The most beautiful, Fairest.
Who do you give our complimentary vouchers to?: The Records bureau heads
Is Beauty Only Skin-Deep?: No
Form Activation Code: [Neither] Fas nor Elda are as beautiful as me.
Beauty Treatment Course Plan Form BEA-UTY-678
That Which Shall Be Beautified: Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth
Glory Allocation for Beauty Creams and other Cosmetics and the hiring of Master Beauticians: 6 Glory
How beautiful to become: The most beautiful, Fairest.
Who do you give our complimentary vouchers to?: The Records bureau heads
Is Beauty Only Skin-Deep?: No
Form Activation Code: [Neither] Fas nor Elda are as beautiful as me.
Beauty Treatment Course Plan Form BEA-UTY-678
That Which Shall Be Beautified: Mion, Goddess of Murder and Wealth
Glory Allocation for Beauty Creams and other Cosmetics and the hiring of Master Beauticians: 6 Glory
How beautiful to become: The most beautiful, Fairest.
Who do you give our complimentary vouchers to?: The Records bureau heads
Is Beauty Only Skin-Deep?: No
Form Activation Code: [Neither] Fas nor Elda are as beautiful as me.
Bookkeeping:
Starting balance: 11 Glory
Fork Upkeep: -1 Glory
Expenses:
Renting Elephant Pasture: -12 Glory
Beauty Treatments: -6 Glory
Knife Funds: -2 Glory
Income:
Payment from Rich Tourist: +20 Glory
Salary: +10? Glory
End Balance: 20? Glory
Titles: Accuser, Twiceborn
Total Titles: 2
Proposed resolutions:
+2 Official Council Reprimand FFFF-039-222C
-2 Stability Resolution JBD-8008-DD
- 2 Stability Resolution JBD-8008-DDMF
+2 GLR-1323: Fiscal Discipline Act
+2 GOD-8R96: Council Rebalancing Act
-2 Zoning resolution ZON-5E778-2
+2 Heavenly Priest Confirmation HEA-EAR-561
+2 Water Fowl Council Appointment ILL-EGA-001
-2 Mandate Acquisition Ritual Endorsement Act A120-102-4C-AAA
0 Abyssal Angelic Safety Regulation Augmentation Proposal 201-205-202-114-A (Revision 2b)
-2 Mandate Acquisition Ritual Endorsement Act A120-102-4C-AAA-R1
-2 De Facto de Jure Annexation DFJ-1598-MF
+2 Repeal of GLR-0100A: Budgetary Reform REP-EAL-124
-2 BAN-4955-TLMM
-2 BAN-4955-VVMI
-2 MIN-2460-AA
-2 Angel Working Hours Revision WORK-MORE-00
Titles: Accuser, Twiceborn
Total Titles: 2
Proposed resolutions:
+2 Official Council Reprimand FFFF-039-222C
-2 Stability Resolution JBD-8008-DD
- 2 Stability Resolution JBD-8008-DDMF
+2 GLR-1323: Fiscal Discipline Act
+2 GOD-8R96: Council Rebalancing Act
-2 Zoning resolution ZON-5E778-2
+2 Heavenly Priest Confirmation HEA-EAR-561
+2 Water Fowl Council Appointment ILL-EGA-001
-2 Mandate Acquisition Ritual Endorsement Act A120-102-4C-AAA
0 Abyssal Angelic Safety Regulation Augmentation Proposal 201-205-202-114-A (Revision 2b)
-2 Mandate Acquisition Ritual Endorsement Act A120-102-4C-AAA-R1
-2 De Facto de Jure Annexation DFJ-1598-MF
+2 Repeal of GLR-0100A: Budgetary Reform REP-EAL-124
-2 BAN-4955-TLMM
-2 BAN-4955-VVMI
-2 MIN-2460-AA
-2 Angel Working Hours Revision WORK-MORE-00
Titles: Accuser, Twiceborn
Total Titles: 2
Proposed resolutions:
+2 Official Council Reprimand FFFF-039-222C
-2 Stability Resolution JBD-8008-DD
- 2 Stability Resolution JBD-8008-DDMF
+2 GLR-1323: Fiscal Discipline Act
+2 GOD-8R96: Council Rebalancing Act
-2 Zoning resolution ZON-5E778-2
+2 Heavenly Priest Confirmation HEA-EAR-561
+2 Water Fowl Council Appointment ILL-EGA-001
-2 Mandate Acquisition Ritual Endorsement Act A120-102-4C-AAA
0 Abyssal Angelic Safety Regulation Augmentation Proposal 201-205-202-114-A (Revision 2b)
-2 Mandate Acquisition Ritual Endorsement Act A120-102-4C-AAA-R1
-2 De Facto de Jure Annexation DFJ-1598-MF
+2 Repeal of GLR-0100A: Budgetary Reform REP-EAL-124
-2 BAN-4955-TLMM
-2 BAN-4955-VVMI
-2 MIN-2460-AA
-2 Angel Working Hours Revision WORK-MORE-00