Hierarchy: Turn 2
The matter of the imperial succession, a premature crisis if there ever was one, remains unresolved. A great army is closing in on the Emperor's manor, besieged first by the combined forces of Princess Wai, General Hao, the oracle Mei Bi, and what guards Wato could summon and second by Prince Wen and a coalition of levies raised by Lady Wero and her allies, the heartlands nobles. A manifestation of Fas, an angel of Glory, and a grieving party of heroes stand ready to defend their candidates at the first sign of trouble. The Emperor stubbornly continues to live even after having given up an alarming number of powers in a bid to reduce the appeal of the throne (and a supposed assassination attempt).
The
Ministry of Transportation held an incredible office party in which a significant fraction of the
Ministry of Pontifice attended. This would have greatly hampered the
Ministry of Transportation's ability to issue teleportation permits in a timely manner if not for the intervention of the
Ministry of Purity, who arrived to disperse the party on an anonymous tip that
soul dealers were in attendance.
Following accusations of attempted deicide,
Archivist Mion the Twiceborn has fired the current bureau heads of her ministry. Through arcane, poorly understood rules of succession, the new bureau heads for the Ministry of Records are Put-The-Zoo-In-Zeus, head of the
Bureau of Lamia, Animals, Monsters, and Elephants, A-Pompous-Door-Is-The-Hair-Of-A-King Alvin, head of the
Bureau of Art History, Histology of Urticarias, Music, Bardic Undertakings, and Games, and To-Challenge-Heaven-Is-To-Court-Death, head of the
Bureau of Ancient Digits, Seasonal Extremes, Irradiation, and Doomsdays. These firings have been met with an incredibly negative response from angels throughout the ministry, who are for the most part
angered by the lack of adherence to unwritten traditions of orderly succession. Many clerks have announced their intention to go on strike next turn unless they are given adequate protections from firing and pay cuts.
The
Pontifex attempted to bribe Ronda with 3 Glory. Some say that Ronda demonstrated great integrity in rejecting the paltry bribe. Others say that the Ronda took the bribe for whatever nefarious purpose the
Pontifex had. Still others question what, if anything, the difference between either of these scenarios would be because Ronda is the
Pontifex.
The measures taken by the
Ministries of Civilization and
Records to integrate new angels have drawn broad praise, although many of the more experienced angels point out that not enough time has passed to know what effects, if any, can be attributed to them. In the
latter case, this praise is largely overshadowed by the Chartmurdered scandal, and analysts from the
Ministry of Records report (carefully avoiding the use of plots of any kind) that Mion's initiative appears to have at least prevented a potentially catastrophic mass exodus of angels. The less optimistic are quick to point out that there was a mass exodus that was simply masked by the influx of "paid" interns.
At the
Steward Elda's request, the
Sun's Court attempted a new routine for glorifying the Sun. By polishing and reflecting the Sun's glory back through gemstones, they claim to have
successfully averted a major catastrophe connected to the comet and centered on or originating from the strangely deep cavern everyone seems to be poking around in. This routine has been added to the Court's ample volumes on how best to glorify the Sun, but some complain that it may have instead caused the arrival of said ominious comet!
The rapidly eroding influence of the
Ministry of Might has led many to fear an attack from neighboring pantheons. Many angels are furious with the
Paragon's decision to defund the Ministry of Might and have taken to generally making life miserable for the clerks of the
Ministry of Glory. The head of the
Ministry of Ceremonial Teacups is clamoring for all Council members to vote in favor of GLR-1323 in the interest of preventing yet another war in Heaven in which Heaven loses and everyone important ends up dead.
It emerges that only a week has passed since the last turning of Heaven! It is still spring in the first year of the gods' reign after all.
There are several options available:
- Direct intervention, present: Apply for a teleportation/manifestation permit from the Ministry of Transportation. Permits may take 1-3 business days to process.
- Direct intervention, remote: Apply for a permit from the appropriate department where needed. Some nice templates can be found here
- Smiting: Apply for a smiting warrant from the Ministry of Smiting. Warrants may take 0-3 business days to process.
- Speaking to mortals: Make sure to file a Mortal Impact Statement to the Ministry of Civilization and Ministry of Pontifice to avoid having your access to the Bowl of a Thousand Prayers suspended. Alternatively, apply for a multi-use speech permit from the aforementioned ministries.
- Issuing a decree: Use Words (but not Tricks) to enhance an action appropriate to your ministry (or react to one).
- Proposing a Council resolution: Have someone propose it and someone else second it. If over half the Council approves, it worked.
- Trading Words: Free action
- Trading Titles: Satisfy the other Title's requirements
- Multithreading: If you have complete control over two Titles, split one off into its own god at a minimum of 1 Glory per Title per turn! If this upkeep isn't met, they'll likely merge back, but worse things may happen.
- Assigning your ministry to a task: Delegate, cover costs, and relax! Angels were created to suffer all this paperwork.
Feedback and suggestions are requested for this completely untested system!
The following issues are believed to affect more than half of the Greater Ministries:
Emperor Hu has lost the Mandate of Heaven! The waters have receded, but the lords of the heartlands are breaking free and scheming to claim the throne. The following claimants are waiting in the wings for any misstep from the unhappy ruler:
- Prince Wen, legitimate heir to the throne and devout worshiper of the old gods
- Princess Wai, second child of the emperor and member of the *Doormakers, who worship Du-uke Du-ur
- General Hao, who commands the respect of what remains of the army and is a member of the *Strong Ones, a fringe cult of Paragon Lu
- Disgraced imperial oracle Mei Bi, now a member of the *Cult of Knowledge
- Lady Wero, whose rich demesne is both large and close to the capital and who is a *Disciple of Leaves
- Lord Wiq, who has recently "inherited" the demesnes of his two brothers and is secretly a member of the *Murderers for Mammon
- Local business owner Wato, ardent follower of the *Cult of Ecstasy, which worships Marshal Fas
- Guildmaster That, local leader of the *Guild of Gemcutters
- Taba Khan, who has no legitimate claim to the throne and worships nature spirits
- Wait a season and hope things improve. Emperor Hu is a follower of the old gods but is only dimly aware of the recent coup in Heaven...
- Someone else?
Supporters of specific pretenders are invited to fill out Form SCR-1243-G to contribute Glory and legitimacy. Those preferring to send angels in a general capacity instead are directed to fill out Form MR1-463-MA or Form MR1-463-MD to be submitted to the Ministry of Pontifice and the Council for review. The Ministry of Smiting is accepting applications for smiting warrants, that is to say, Form LTN-8077. Finally, those wanting to intervene directly can apply for teleportation and manifestation permits from the Ministry of Transportation. Note that some claimants are better equipped to seize the throne by certain methods than others.
Perhaps realizing the threat on his life, Emperor Hu went into hiding guarded by his most loyal guards and began issuing decree after decree surrendering major powers of the office of Emperor to malleable courtiers and even outsiders. Alarmed, the royal family and their courtiers and supporters surrounded the Emperor's sanctuary and launched their desperate bids to claim the throne with mixed success. Prince Wen and Princess Wai parleyed to discuss the growing mess, but after a shouting match that would embarrass even the most foolish children, both returned to their supporters' camps scratched up and seething. The first of the uninvited "guests" was one Lady Wero, whose holdings dwarfed those of any three other lords or ladies. Her messengers turned away by the Emperor's guard, Lady Wero spent much of the day hunting in a nearby forest as the decree after decree continued to weaken his own position. Prince Wen made token attempts to secure an alliance with the Lady Wero on her return but was summarily rejected (possibly because of the declining attractiveness of the imperial throne).
The next day, the imperial oracle Mei Bi and a ragtag band of provincial heroes came under the pretense of delivering a dire prophecy regarding a comet in the northern sky to the Emperor but were held back by the armed supporters of the Emperor's children and the Lady's levies. A loud argument over proximity to the front gate that very nearly escalated into an all-out brawl to the front when the heroes decided to camp the site. A decree was issued later that day that arranged for Princess Wai to wed General Hao and Prince Wen to wed Mei Bi, but all three copies of the edict were somehow "misplaced." Princess Wai instead declared her intent to marry the charming local business owner Wato and went so far as to announce that the ceremony would be held before the front gate of the Emperor's residence in two days. General Hao, a radiant angel of Glory, and a small contingent of veteran pikemen arrived that evening supposedly for the purpose of maintaining order between the quarreling siblings and enforcing the will of the Emperor and Heaven, but no one present seemed to believe that. Mei Bi was escorted out of the front gate of the palace that evening even though no one had seen her going in through the Emperor's vigilant guards.
On the third day of the Emperor's apparent madness, the camps besieging the Emperor's sanctuary swelled with wedding attendees, many of them angelic. Lord Wiq fled along with his few supporters later that evening after receiving a message from someone. A fire broke out at some point after an accident involving a food cart and managed to ruin some of the Emperor's beautiful gardens on top of leaving marks on the wall around his residence. Prince Wen proclaimed himself the voice of the Emperor and banished all food vendors from the immediate perimeter of the Emperor's manor, but few of the other plotters cared to support his proclamation (and thus lend him undeserved authority). That night, Mei Bi summoned Princess Wai and General Hao to a nearby garden and formed some manner of pact with them. Tavern gossip has it that they are planning to form a temporary coalition until the mad Emperor has been removed peacefully. Tavern gossip also has it that many of the courtiers chosen by the Emperor are under the employ of Guildmaster That and that Prince Wen is planning to elope with Princess Wai, so it's probably not terribly reliable overall.
On the fourth day of the siege on the Emperor's sanctuary, Princess Wai held a (surprisingly impressive given the timeframe) wedding by the foot of the palace presided over by none other than Marshal Fas herself. A fight between Prince Wen and General Hao broke out during the ceremony which very nearly escalated if not for the mediation of a silver-tongued rogue in Mei Bi's crew. Yet another fire broke out which damaged a lot of the Emperor's gardens, and this one was started by a fireworks show started on behalf of but not at the request of the new couple. This time, Mei Bi, General Hao, and Princess Wai jointly condemned the perpetrators, the imperial pyrotechnicians, and the General and Princess exiled them to the Barbarian Empire of Yan without a trial despite the oracle's objections about barbarians getting their hands on secret imperial technology. Many pockets were mysteriously emptied that night.
On the fifth day of the surprisingly civil sequestration of the Emperor, Princess Wai announced her intention to build a House of Peace, Love, and More Love at the request of her consort Wato. Later that afternoon, fearing further deterioration of the coveted throne, Prince Wen instigated a merry burning of all imperial edicts and messengers leaving the Emperor's residence at General Hao's insistence. After the fifth messenger, the decrees appear to have stopped, and thus did Prince Wen retire with a wolfish smile that night.
On the sixth day, tensions flared between Mei Bi and Lady Wero after the latter was caught attempting to breach the walls with sappers. It soon came to light that Lady Wero had drawn up a coalition of heartland nobles aiming to put the Prince on the throne, and their combined forces encircled the supporters of Princess Wai, General Hao, and Mei Bi. Despite this, General Hao successfully managed to sneak a messenger out of the enemy camp with unknown consequences. Without constant surveillance from unfriendly eyes in Prince Wen's faction, Mei Bi's rogue managed to sneak into the Emperor's sanctuary.
On the seventh day, Heaven turned and promptly decided this wasn't messy enough as it was. Mei Bi's rogue was publicly executed for a supposed attempt on the Emperor's life which Mei Bi vigorously denied. This has put some strain on whatever alliance of convenience existed between Mei Bi and Princess Wai.
To the Pontifex of Heaven and her fellow ministers,
The Gods of Yan thank you for your gift of Glory. We have heard of the unrest regarding your beloved Emperor's seat and are willing to intervene to arrange a more peaceful outcome and improve relations with the Kingdom providing our other ministers do not receive a sudden windfall and are distracted with improvements to heavenly palaces instead.
Bao Tu-Mi, Minister of Barbarian Relations
The Ministry of Heavenly Constructions is planning to construct a large new office with the latest divine amenities Heaven has to offer. While it is illegal for them to accept bribes of any kind, they are loudly complaining that they neither know who will get the office nor whether they have enough Glory to get it done in a timely fashion nor whether it will obstruct an existing ministry office. The plans as currently drawn up would require approximately a year and 30 Glory to complete and would likely be enough to boost the Favor and Influence of two greater ministries by one step at the expense of one step of Funding.
- Du-ur has contributed 8 Glory
- The Ministry of Civilization has managed to pool 3 Glory
- Mion has contributed a total of 12 Glory
- The Ministry of Records has contributed 2 Glory
The project is only 5 Glory away from getting started.
A throng of prospectors and miners led by Fiercely-Fighteth-The-Frog Ugduk was the first to arrive to the cavern and immediately began setting up a well-defended camp despite the roars from below. Initial hauls have turned up lots of loose stone and some tin ore and jade. Angelic geologists requested previous survey data from the Ministry of Records and received confirmation that the surrounding area was zoned as a major river several Heavens ago. The next day, Speaker-To-Animals Adner and a generously equipped scouting team arrived and flew straight into the pit. They have yet to be heard from since then, and couriers of the Ministry of Pontifice stationed at the mouth of the cave don't expect contact for no less than another six weeks regardless based on past correspondences with offices in the Underworld.
After a few days, Build-Strong-Fences-That-The-Exhibits-Not-Escape Ayarteshki's teleportation permits were cleared, and a zookeeping team arrived. They quickly pinpointed the origin of the roaring in the caves and reported finding the elusive, highly venomous, and fire-breathing cave wyrmlions . A few wranglers were reported missing, but by the end of the day, the zookeeping team managed to snag a pair of wyrmlions and are in the process of building a suitable exhibit in the Ministry of Records' zoo. By this time, the angelic miners and prospectors managed to complete a somewhat rickety, poorly lit scaffold for the use of their flightless mortal associates. A surprisingly low number of mortal miners have gone missing, which is cause for celebration.
Near the end of the week, after the aftermath of the Ministry of Transportation's lavish party, There-Is-No-Knot Sabal's rescue party began searching for members of the lost steppe clan. They managed to rescue and reunite a separated family and found a few clean horse skeletons, but much of the rest of the clan remains missing for now. Informed of the presence of cave wyrmlions in the depths of the caverns, the search teams have requisitioned equipment comparable to what the zookeepers brought to better handle the deadly beasts. Cynics complain that anyone falling deep enough to be threatened by a wyrmlion probably fell too deep to be rescued to begin with.
The Ministry of Mortal Constructions sponsored Where-Thy-Heart-Is-Thy-Treasure-Will-Be-Also Sisini's request, and the Guild of Gemcutters has set up shop near the cave buying up the gems mined out at rather low prices. The foreangels in charge of directing mining efforts have taken the liberty of ordering arms and armor from mortal smiths with the revenue. (+1 Glory to the Marshal, +1 equipment level for Heaven's host)
The Steward has announced the start of a project aimed at filling the untamed wilds with monstrous mortals to tame them slightly and keep the Garden safe (in addition to gathering their sweet worship).
- Triads: Bone-white wooden bodies in appropriately bony shapes, with "hair" consisting of long, thick ivy vines (or similarly textured kelp for those living at coastal areas). Triads are significantly larger in scale than most mortals as fitting their existence as a tree, and are capable of growing even larger with age. Their strength matches their size, making them a very physically capable race. Their mouth contains a "Gemstone of Decay", an onyx-black stone that causes organic matter which contacts it to rapidly decay (as one would expect from the name). They receive sustenance from this decayed matter as one would expect from a plat-like being.
- Featherfolk: Roughly the size of a mundane bird, featherfolk take on avian aspects in addition to the standard mortal layout. Their arms are functional wings and the hair on their head is (less functional) feathers, including facial hair on the males. Their survival is geared toward stealth, they are capable of swift movement both on the land and in the air while their relatively small size means the wilderness is full of hiding places. They are capable of directing the growth of plants to make appropriately sized equipment and housing.
- The Fiends: Rather than surviving among the monsters in the wilderness, the Fiend assimilates them. The Fiends start their lifecycle and a small crystalline seed. Once these are eaten by a living being, the Fiend begins the parasitic process of overtaking its new host from the stomach. Rainbow roots stretch into the host from the seed, soon expanding throughout the host's body. Once fully formed the Fiend will have control over the entire host's body with the host effectively being dead. Fiend infected are easily visible at a glance, with visible roots stretching across the body. They are intelligent organisms capable of thought, with their original seed acting as their brain. Carnivores can be infected by devouring a Fiend infected creature before it has fully taken root, or by the hand of a Fiend sabotaging meat for such a purpose.
The recently raised tithes imposed on mortals have been met with a demand for a tangible promise of some kind for continued piety and service to the gods. Some have taken the comet as a sign of the Sun's growing displeasure with this generation of gods and decided to voice their suggestions early.
- Gem planter, *Guild of Gemcutters: "We wouldn't complain so much about the tithes if you made it rain gemstones for half a day over the artisan's quarter. I have a friend who is an angel who says that's Form MTR-06F8-2 or was it Form MTR-0GFH-2? He said you'd know which one it would be anyway."
- Street surprise meat vendor, Cult of Sitn: "As the title of this issue suggests, we demand more moa omelettes for our continued sacrifices on your behalf. You act and put us on the front lines, and now you demand even more of what little we have? That's ostrich! I say it's time we got a slice of the pie."
- Street mystery stew vendor, *Seers of the Throne: "What my lunatic colleague means to say is a bountiful harvest will help all of us keep up with your demands."
- Haruspex, *Strong Ones: "You could always make us into some kind of monstrous race. If our Monster Master is to be believed, it's half as expensive, results in less paperwork all around, and you can count us as part of our old species for tax purposes."
- High Priest of *Disciples of Leaves: "I think the land would be a lot more majestic with a nice rainforest in that wilderness between the Bonelands and the Heartlands. Could you spare us a few trees by which I mean whole lot?"
- Alchemist, *Cultist of Knowledge: "Just give us an incredible secret of advanced technology that totally won't backfire on us, and we will work to double our tithes and offerings! MUAHAHAHAHA!"
- Nonassassin, *Murderers for Mammon: "So many stupid complaints and requests! If you'll just smite the complainers, the complaints will stop!"
- Carpenter, *The Doormakers: "Doooors! Du-ur grant us doooors that we may pass!"
"Greetings, gods of the Kingdom Under Heaven. I, Ajanar, am a wandering god from a wealthy land beyond the Bonelands who has heard of your remarkable organization and wishes to study it for the benefit of my colleagues. I ask for a stay of 3 turnings of the Wheel and a place to pasture my herd of 90 celestial elephants. They are well-trained and are unlikely to cause any lasting damage, but I must warn you that they are very loud and messy beasts. I can spare a total of 60 Glory delivered over the next 3 turns for the trouble split among all who will share their facilities to us."
DCL-666-1: Data Compression Legalization: Legalize the use of data compression techniques in Ministry of Records records
AEL-8383-7: Angelic Employment Legal Procedure Amendment: Establishes formal legal proceedings for angelic employees accused of inappropriate or criminal conduct, including allowing immediate suspension of duties but preserving freedom and pay until the matter has been formally resolved.
GLR-0100A: Budgetary Reform: Each Turn the Ministry of Glory will audit the budget of each ministry, creating a detailed lists of expenditures and profits of each ministry. The Ministry of Glory then uses this information to craft the final budget of each Ministry, and allocate funds based upon that budget, organized by expenditure area. In the case a Ministry is unsatisfied with their budget, they may file form GLR-12B along with a proposed budget distribution to the Ministry of Glory, and begin negotiations to rearrange their proposed expenditures and petition for additional funds.
Ministry of Glory - Heaven's vault is relatively impoverished at 14 units of Funding.
- Tithes and taxes from the Garden are currently set at Moderate, set to return 60 units of Funding by the end of the turn.
- The Nod of the Sun is such that it returns 67 units of Funding.
- Upkeep for all ministries was 105 units of Funding this turn.
- Total funding from the Sun and worship increased by +5 units this turn. Allocate these units among the Ministries, greater and lesser, as fairly as possible. Your bureau heads will not approve a budget resulting in a deficit greater than -3.
- A comet has been sighted!
Sun's Court - The Sun is rather glorified
- The courtiers have heard 1 Prophecy of Doom this turn and taken steps to not suffer from them.
- Whisper these to other Ministries, greater and lesser, to maximize the benefits to Heaven before they become obsolete next turn.
- There is growing support for the creation of monstrous races to repel barbarians in these trying times
- Your prophets have earned you the Sun's favor (or so say some of the courtiers)
- A comet has been sighted! This is interpreted to be a very bad omen
Ministry of Might - The angelic host is not deployed and very poorly equipped
- The Kingdom's armies are rebelling against the Emperor but fully equipped
- You may expend Funding or Influence to rearm Heaven's armies or do so using your personal income.
- Imperial pyrotechnicians are en route to the Barbarian Empire of Yan. Your strategists recommend smiting them or at least capturing them to prevent a leak of imperial secrets like gunpowder
- A bounty of tin and jade has proven helpful for partially rearming Heaven's hosts
- Taba Khan is rallying steppe tribes for an invasion, but to where?
- A comet has been sighted! Supposedly, a previous Marshal known as the Icicle stole a comet and forged a most ominous set of robes out of its tail
Ministry of Pontifice - The scouts in the Great Steppe report that in a time before time, someone attacked someone
- Taba Khan is rallying steppe tribes for an invasion, but to where?
- The contacts in the imperial capital report that the imperial army is mustering against one or more of the Emperor, Prince Wen, and the nobles
- The emissaries in the Kingdom of Dalhim have reported the invention of a new dish
- The celestial emissaries report that relations with the Helpers are cordial
- The emissaries in the Barbarian Empire of Yan report that the Empire is in turmoil as a result of their recent divine coup and unlikely to pose a serious threat despite their posturing
- The southwestern scouts having nothing to report regarding the Southwestern Bonelands
- The Underworld offices are not in contact with Heaven (and the earliest the expedition can return results is likely five weeks from now)
- Relations with the Ministry of Transportation have improved
- The Pontifex tried to bribe you, but you successfully resisted the attempt. (Ronda: -0G)
- The ministry has processed 5 Mortal Impact Statements
- A comet has been sighted! The postal system is breaking down with all the sieging being done to the Emperor's manor
Ministry of the Realm - The Ministry of Mortal Constructions has gone ahead with rebuilding the villages the mortals lost to the Deluge and is actively defying the Council
- Current projections show that the ratio of villainy to heroism is still increasing in the Garden!
- Workers from the Ministry of Might demand increased protection from defunding by the Ministry of Glory
- The Ministry of the Realm has been asked to see to improving working conditions in the spooky cavern given the presence of things capable of disappearing angels
- Some auditors have discovered several employment discrepancies related to the unfolding crisis around the Emperor's residence
- A comet has been sighted! The hearts of great people are consumed with villainy!
Ministry of Civilization - Worship is stabilizing as the tithes levied on worshipers increase
- The ministry overwhelmingly supports Princess Wai's faction
- The Emperor calls on your ministry to facilitate a peaceful transfer of power
- The Ministry of Mortal Constructions has decided to ignore the Council's zoning edict and rebuild villages destroyed in the Deluge. Prominent angels in your department suggest that they be stopped before the Council enforces its will on them.
- Princess Wai prays for a miraculous opening of the Emperor's front gate to save her supporters from the heartland nobles
- The high priests are asking that you intercede with the Paragon on the mortals' behalf, burdened as they are with tithes.
- The Ministry of Civilization has inexplicably won a contract for the creation of 55,555 doors for the heavenly offices set to be constructed by the Ministry of Heavenly Constructions.
- Taba Khan is rallying steppe tribes for an invasion, but to where?
- An inquisitorial bureau is requesting additional funds in order to combat the spread of heretical cults
- The ministry has processed 5 Mortal Impact Statements
- A comet has been sighted! Heresy spreads throughout the lands!
Ministry of Records - The deep probe has uncovered no evidence of your wrongdoing so far.
- The deep probe has uncovered no evidence of your bureau heads' wrongdoing so far.
- Time is currently set to flow at 1 week per turn. You may adjust this down as far as one day per turn or three months per turn
- Your clerks are still massively behind on their recording despite compression being legalized. Some frustrated clerks are suggesting that you arrange for bees and/or flowers to not exist anywhere anymore just in case that proposal passes
- The Bureau of Art History, Histology of Urticarias, Music, Bardic Undertakings, and Genres, headed by one A-Pompous-Door-Is-The-Hair-Of-A-King Alvin, has been selected to replace the Bureau of Observations, Research, and Extrapolation in light of Numbers-Like-Hips-Lieth-Not Zuraga's conviction.
- An internal investigation concerning the illegal seizure of bureau head salaries is being conducted
- A comet has been sighted! Ministry astronomers calculate it will fade away in half a year's time
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Author
Topic: Hierarchy IC: Turn 3: Spring of the First Year (Read 6528 times)