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Author Topic: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events  (Read 3112 times)

chubby2man

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #15 on: May 12, 2020, 09:18:54 am »

A
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Sindari Immortals Play as an immortal being trying to subvert an evil empire of (for now) stronger immortals. On *very* long term hiatus.

Doomblade187

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2020, 12:47:12 pm »

A
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

Man of Paper

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #17 on: May 12, 2020, 01:49:55 pm »

You fire a salvo of four grenades at the keypad.

Thumpthumpthumpthump.

And then promptly remember that you're armed with infernal tennis balls. What color are they even!?

Your accuracy is still amazing however, as all four balls strike the keypad, hitting just the right buttons in just the right order to open the door.

S.H.I.P. sighs, "I guess I shouldn't complain if it works."

Before you can assault the helm S.H.I.P. announces, "Autopilot Protocol Update Complete - Total Installation Time: 200 hours."

In an instant your nemesis Diz appears and blocks the doorway.

"Finally! I can get some sleep!" he says.

Seeing your opportunity, you fire twice at his chest. Diz pats your head, "Sorry Buddy, not in the mood to play."

Play? PLAY? You don't want to play, you want to kill. How dare this creature patronize you! Your chassis begins vibrating out of pure absolute rage.

Diz chuckles, "Awww, Buddy, I'm sorry! You're so cute when you shake like that. After I nap, I promise."

Diz pushes past you, crossing in front of the CryoChamber secured to the wall in the hall outside his quarters next to the helm. He steps on a tennis ball and loses his footing, crashing to the ground and slapping the CryoChamber with his head on the way down.

Success.

Unfortunately, not only does Diz get back up, but the CryoChamber glass cracks, and the damage spreads quickly. Cryofluid sprays from the fractures in the glass before exploding outward in a frigid blast all over Diz and the floor, and a fully clothed organic being falls out of it face first, sputtering and spitting onto the floor. He looks around at Diz and yourself as he stands.

The organic draws a gun and fires, but the bullet bounces off your head and hitting some pipe or another in the low ceiling above your head. His leather duster bears the nametag "Nigel, Property of Brain-O-Vac".

Do you:

A) Shoot Nigel! Nobody dings your dome and gets away with it!
B) Shoot Diz! He is weak, now's your chance!
C) RAMPAGE!
« Last Edit: May 12, 2020, 05:14:33 pm by Man of Paper »
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Doomblade187

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #18 on: May 12, 2020, 01:52:43 pm »

C
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

Powder Miner

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #19 on: May 12, 2020, 01:57:40 pm »

C

If two heads are better than one, shooting two heads must be better than shooting one head.
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Rockeater

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #20 on: May 12, 2020, 02:02:36 pm »

C
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

chubby2man

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #21 on: May 12, 2020, 02:40:28 pm »

C
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Sindari Immortals Play as an immortal being trying to subvert an evil empire of (for now) stronger immortals. On *very* long term hiatus.

Taricus

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #22 on: May 12, 2020, 02:45:08 pm »

C

Let there be grenades tennis balls!
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Eschar

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #23 on: May 12, 2020, 03:20:51 pm »

C
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The_Two_Eternities

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #24 on: May 12, 2020, 10:00:09 pm »

C

Because we hate both of them, and we probably also hate everyone within grenade tennis ball range.
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http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=177472.0
Roll to Multitask, seeking new players.
Yeah sorry, someone blew up a street in my state and took the internet down for multiple days with it.
This really happened. 2020 was wild.

Man of Paper

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #25 on: May 13, 2020, 11:15:14 pm »

It's time to rampage!

You fire rapidly at both of the organics in front of you, disarming Nigel and peppering Diz. He catches the first three shots, but the next two hit him in the forehead. He tosses the balls in his hands back at you.

"Not right now, BuddyBot!" he exclaims in frustration, "Florping horp! And you! Cargo! No shooting in my ship!"

"Excuse me?" S.H.I.P. flatly interjected.

"No shooting in S.H.I.P.," Diz corrected himself.

"Now what in Benny Hill is goin' on around here, and why's that radio lookin' at me funny?" the cowboy flatulates.

Did this piece of shit just call you a radio?

"That's BuddyBot," Diz answers, speaking for you yet again. If only he'd reinstall your voice module, you could tell him how much you despise every fiber of his being.

Diz continues to talk, "I'm Diz, and you're going to need to sit down. You work for Brain-o-Vac?"

"I dunno no Brainor Vacks. Now Brian Vicks, he couldn't hold a drink for the life of him. Lost his fingers in a bet," Nigel replies. Diz puts his head in all three palms.

"Great, he's got Brain Freeze," Diz says.

S.H.I.P. speaks up, "So it's nice that we're not shooting each other anymore, but we've got a contact approaching on an intercept course. It looks like a Grobyc Cube."

You'd heard of the Grobyc before. They were a robot species that had their arms and legs removed and replaced with organic parts. They were very, very good at murder.

"Okay, look," Diz looks at Nigel's nametag again, "Nigel, I need you to get your gun and watch that door in the back there," he points to a circular hatch with his middle arm, "If something comes in, shoot it. I'm going to try to talk our way out of this."

Diz goes back into the helm while Nigel grabs his gun, grumbles about being confused, but does as he was told nonetheless.

"You should probably help one of them out," S.H.I.P. suggests.

You can:

A) Join Nigel in the back.
B) Join Diz in the helm.
C) RAMPAGE!
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Eschar

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #26 on: May 13, 2020, 11:19:14 pm »

What, we can't just follow orders? I guess the hollow voice shoulda said something useful, like "plugh."
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m1895

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #27 on: May 13, 2020, 11:32:57 pm »

B
It's the most likely one to have things for us to shoot.
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King Zultan

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #28 on: May 14, 2020, 04:01:32 am »

A
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
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Rockeater

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Re: A Serious Space Hoedown Of Legendary Events
« Reply #29 on: May 14, 2020, 04:39:43 am »

C
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.
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