We should probably ask our soy friend what to do now that we own the company.
The guards will patrol the perimeters of their respective buildings
The Lazy Procrastinators will be promoted to hackers.
Janitors and ninjas will have their salaries increased to 1.0M
Our lawyers will prioritize dealing with the most expensive lawsuits first.
Send an email to all employees asking them to explain to the best of their ability why we have built lighthouses and why we worship the clouds
Open communications with the International Mafia
“Hello. The company has gone under new ownership. I was thinking, instead of 6.5B every sales quarter, what about 13B every sales half-year? You’d be getting the same amount of money in the same timeframe, just in 2 chunks a year instead of 4. If you’d rather keep the current arrangement that’s fine too. I’m curious about something, why are you extorting us anyway? We have disinformation agents and hackers who might be able to help you in some way, what if you were to open a shop or two with various items? I’m guessing we have things you need/want, and maybe you might have things we might need/want. What is your goal? Power? World domination? Money? If so, I’m sure working with us will help accomplish this”
If they don’t agree to the new deal, pay them the 6,5B for the quarter
If they agree to the change, pay them the 13B for the half-year
Reply to old Clamazon owner
“It is good you are learning about the sea, if I may ask, how long has the International Mafia been in contact with the company?
(Plan revision below)