Turn 16ACTIVATE FULL SPEED TOWARDS THE OPEN DOOR OF THE BOOTH! Juainos needs to get in so he can """"""help"""""" Shaun with """"""getting back the milk""""""" since he's too nerd-like to do it by himself properly.
"Ola Shaun, room for uno more? I mean it's not like I saved you from el guarda loco back there or anything."
6Git in, y’pillock, b’fore they fuckin’ marmalize ya!
Look for something to cut the rope with and do so, then dematerialize the TARDIS and try landing in the doom mug itself, if possible. Fry up some rashers and sausages for Juainos, if there are any.
4, 6+1, 2Juainos leaves the okapi village behind, aiming his flying mariachi hat for the TARDIS door at top speed.
"Ola Shaun, room for uno more? I mean it's not like I saved you from el guarda loco back there or anything." Shaun raises the TARDIS up a bit and yells for him. "Git in, y’pillock, b’fore they fuckin’ marmalize ya!"
Juainos crashes into the door at Titanic speeds, rolling himself and Shaun down the stairs. The hat is damaged, and Juainos will need to fix it before he can fly again. Shaun cuts the rope against the edge of the porcelain and teleports the TARDIS over into the Doom Mug corpse itself. The dust is blown away as the TARDIS materializes inside. A trickle of liquid is revealed by the disturbance. It seems that the power of the Doom Mug's milk was too much to erase forever. Somewhere buried within, the dust has been converting itself back into milk. Shaun tries to make some celebratory rashers and sausages for Juainos, but it seems like he's fresh out of those.
Escape this madness. Look for a beacon of sanity and get to it, no matter the cost.
2You run to the edge of the roof while the creatures watch Adam battle the subterranean creature and look for somewhere safe to go. It quickly becomes clear that in Genericville, nowhere is really safe anymore. The patchwork creatures are everywhere here, concentrated primarily on Florence Memorial library.
full throttle with my centipede like body to escape them
6You skitter away on your many arms, eventually leaving your former neighbors in the dust. When you finally slow down, you find yourself just outside the town of Water Tank. There seems to be a commotion going on inside, and the guards at the door are absent.
Okay. Sell the house to get the funds back to buy a water bucket with water inside (if it's affordable.) THEN FUCKING DROWN ALL NON-NETWORKED MINIONS THERE WITH THE WATER BUCKET. Those who refuse to drown shall be bitten and converted.
5You all sell the house and use the funds to buy a bucket of water. You've got plenty of money left over as it turns out. Even with Water Tank's customary markups, a single water bucket is only about $200. (+1 on future purchases.) After that, you get your horde together and make your grievances clear to the town by taking everyone captive after first turning the armed guards, lining everyone up in front of their own water, and demanding that they all join or die. The leaders of Water Tank's HOA choose to drown rather than accompany you and your unkempt army, but the rest of Water Tank submits to your infection. You now control Water Tank, people and town alike.
"GOD DAMN THIS PLACE!"
Screw these stupid roads drive though parks, parking lots, alleys, and anything else that should bypass these crappy ass roads and get me to the capital building.
6-1You crash through anything that gets in your way, breaking free of DC's labyrinthine roads. You slide to a stop in front of the capitol building, ready to hunt down whatever government officials have survived. You get out of the car, crossbow at the ready, and begin exploring the darkened halls. When you reach the Senate chambers, a clanking and coughing sound halts you. You peer around the corner to see the last surviving American politician.
Senate Majority Leader Cyborg Mitch McConnell is pacing behind his old podium, his clawed feet scratching up the floorboards. Legends state that Senator McConnell looked much different during his first 10 terms in office, but he inhabits a new form now. It is a bulky robotic body that evokes some sort of alien skeleton. All that remains of his flesh is a pair of eyes behind a mask, and (rumor has it) a jar of organs protected by his chestplate. He wears a cloak over his shoulders, and carries a collection of rolled-up defeated bills as trophies.
Release the chimera and ride it into the Dairy Queen palace
6You revive the chimera and ride it to the palace of the Dairy Queen. You're barely able to control the savage beast, but it races through the cursed woods and leads you to a fortress complex at the heart of the woods. A pair of satyr guards try to stop you, but the chimera rips through them and leaps through a bunker window to maul the crew of an automatic ballista. While it's distracted, you could infiltrate deeper into the fortress.
Capering about upon his plastic shoes, GUNTHAR continues his grand purging of the eldritch tower!
1+2You DANCE and CAPER about the tower as your enemies are BROKEN beneath your MIGHTY AXE. Not all have fallen, but you wander the tower and PURGE most of the Followers of the Symbol from this UNHOLY PLACE. As you work, you hear the sound of your HONORED COMPATRIOT attempting to escape from the BETENTACLED BOOK.
Get out of the room as fast as possible and find a corpse to possess, if successful, help Gunthar with the purging
(I know the mind is gone, I might be able to use what liquids remain to move the corpse by moving the liquids in ways that force the limbs to move, like hydraulics with blood and cerebral fluid)
(That's a creatively morbid solution. That's how spiders move their legs, right?)
2You attempt to escape and find a corpse to hydraulically pilot. Unfortunately, you're too occupied with escaping the tentacles pouring ever forth from the book to focus on that.
Joshua sees visions of a small but rather rocky mountain, and how a lot of people are trying to climb it without any equipment and fail.
Joshua hears the voice at the end of the vision, "Seek the truth at the mountain, but don't try to cheat it."
Once the vision stops, seek the way out of the tower.
3You experience your vision after drinking the milk as the old man said, and look for a way out of the tower. You're able to explore the tower freely, given GUNTHAR's slaughter of nearly all the inhabitants. From your explorations, it looks like there isn't a conventional exit. The Followers only left on rare occasions, and did so by opening portals to other worlds through magical means. You'll need similar methods to escape. Perhaps the Axe of the Ginnugagap could help here.
WHIP UP SOME NIFTY, RESPECTFUL FUNERAL RITES FOR US TO HOLD FOR OUR FALLEN BRETHREN. ENTER PERIOD OF MOURNING WITH TRIBE.
PIN BLAME FOR THIS HORRIFIC, COWARDLY ATTACK ON EVIL DAIRY QUEEN, GALVANISE TRIBE'S DESIRE FOR REVENGE!
6, 2+1 for preexisting desire for revenge.After Juainos breaks off his unintentional attack and flies over to the mountain, you consider what to do with the fallen okapis. Ultimately, you decide to cremate them in biers made of fallen leaves, while your blackened ukulele tapes play mournfully in the background. At the end of the funeral, you give a speech to your consorts and hybrid children, blaming the attack on the Dairy Queen and vowing revenge. The okapis seem ready for battle afterwards, but not much more than they were before. Your fiery rhetoric is perhaps symbolized by the actual flames growing around you, as the funeral pyres ignite the forest undergrowth.
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk 4 (Read 90973 times)