Turn 8Now invade the sewer clowns minds.
5+1Cutting Personal Avatar Generation, Reboot Personal Avatar.
Burn out these beings underdeveloped minds and then shackle/arrange the leftover digital neurons into a network processor.
Go off to see what is going on nearby afterward, since the one I converted is trying to overreach mentally when they were only mortal before.
2, 2, 3Cipher struggles to reboot her avatar or burn the sewer clowns into a processor, as John takes to the network like a fish to water. John's mind invades and usurps Cipher's control of the sewer clowns. All the bodies stand at attention, awaiting John's orders. For the moment, Cipher's mind is trapped within John's network. She remains aware however, enough to notice a bit of shrapnel from the bar falling from the sky.
"What the hell is your problem, I was just getting out of the damn car!"
Slam my knee into his nuts and take the shotgun from him and point it at him so he won't try to attack me more.
2You yell at the chupacabra, but he ignores you. You go for a groin kick, but he dodges to the side and then snaps at your throat. You're forced to release your grip on the shotgun and step back to avoid his jaws. The chupacabra recovers for an instant, and then notices your crossbow. In a frozen moment, you see him begin to level the shotgun at you.
Ssarscel just stands, slack jawed, looking at the remains of the tavern for a moment. Then he turns to the madmen who seemed to be the primary actors in the situation, and asks:
“What the fuck jussssst happened?”
Opens the door and looks up at the rest of the damaged Irish phone booth currently sitting where the bar used to be
... That wasn’t supposed to happen.
Turns around an looks at everyone
Uh, don’t mind me. Pretend I wasn’t here.
Heads back inside
Undo the size thing and move the TARDIS a little further away from the bar. Lock the door and head out to search for more information on the doom mug.
2, 4not being strong enough, start working out and have it work some how even being nothing but bones
3"It's mui bueno my hat can return to me like the hammer of a dios of origin which I presume is nordic."
Juainos extends his hand and wills his hat to return to him. Then he proceeds to report the TARDIS to the British police with his Juanosphone (Which is to a phone he just painted purple), not because he wants to ruin their plans but just because the owner needs a loicense to fly one of those.
1Myriad little pieces of the bar fall from above as Juainos, Ssarscel, Slash Ashford, Joey, Adam, and the others who were in the bar stare at the giant TARDIS that just appeared before them.
“
What the fuck jussssst happened?” yells Ssarscel. As if in response, the giant door of the TARDIS peeks open, and Shaun looks out at the damage.
"... That wasn’t supposed to happen.", says Shaun.
He then turns around and looks at everyone.
"Uh, don’t mind me. Pretend I wasn’t here."
Shaun then disappears back into his TARDIS and tries to remove it from the wreckage. A whirring noise repeatedly sounds, but the TARDIS doesn't move. Looks like there's some damage delaying the departure. As he works on that, Juainos says that
"It's mui bueno my hat can return to me like the hammer of a dios of origin which I presume is nordic."Juainos extends his hand and wills his hat to return to him, before pulling out his Juanosphone and attempting to call the British police. Unfortunately for him, Scotland Yard can't come to the phone right now, because
somebody murdered them in the name of balance.
Simultaneously, Joey Bones involuntarily rubs at the glyph engraved on his forehead and reflects on the fight. He decides he just isn't strong enough yet, and decides to work out a bit. Joey does some pushups and, despite having an entirely skeletal body, somehow manages to become a bit stronger. If he really wants strong bones though, he'll need milk. (50% chance to get a +1 on strength-based actions.)
Shaun finds that the TARDIS requires a moment to warm up again, so he steps out to look for information on the downed Doom Mug. Conveniently, he comes across a street orphan selling maps of the region for pennies. One of the maps purports to show the location of the infamous weapon, crashed into the side of
Mount Washington in the mutated
White Mountain Forest, where okapis and even greater dangers dwell.
Ask the Jabberbockey if it knows where I can find milk or any place or artifact which reaching/obtaining would be considered an adventure.
After leave it alone and free.
4The Jabberwock thanks you for your mercy, and tells you about a secret treasure kept by a concealed sister of the Red Queen and the Queen of Hearts. In the mortal world, they say, there is a great forest. Many centuries ago, it was downriver of the
Goat Sorcerer Goatsby's domain of Dementia. The chaotic pollution in the water ever so subtly tainted the water there, and this attracted one of Wonderland's fairy queens. Supposedly, she kept her personal okapi herds there, guarding them with great winds to prevent their discovery and drinking well of their milk. They say she had so much okapi milk that she would even give a tiny fraction away, but always for a price.
The Jabberwock steps back into his room, glancing nervously down both ends of the hall and over his shoulder. After a moment, he whispers in the quietest voice he can manage.
"They call her...
the Dairy Queen."With that, he slams the door and locks it firmly.
GUNTHAR HORNHELM looks about him in heroic suspicion. Where is the burning heat-- the torrential ice-- the tormented chasm of GINNUNGAGAP? What means this twisted tower, these shattered islands, these ruinous leviathans that drift upon the endless smog?
Something, considers GUNTHAR, is amiss.
Perhaps the tower will have answers!
"Valorous compatriots! Let us inspect now with all courage this ELDRITCH TOWER, and the wonders and horrors that may be CONTAINED THEREIN!"
Having spoken as a bold warrior must, GUNTHAR HORNHELM looks about for a passage down into the tower proper: failing this, GUNTHAR attempts to climb down the tower wall, using his MIGHTY AXE to gain purchase on its rocky surface!
2, 2+1Joshua would prefer if Rana could deliver him to the top of the eldritch tower.
If I get there, begin thoroughly searching the tower's lower levels.
If not, just stick with Rana for now.
(Not delivered due to Naturegirl's 6.)Look through my host’s memories to try determining the language of Eldritch creatures
Try to use the Eldritch language to ask the tentacled creatures to help with obtaining milk, explaining that it has vast power and can be used for anything
If the language my host knows doesn’t seem to work, pick up Joshua and fly him to the top of the tower, then take flight in search of a fellow Byakhee to talk with
6Joshua requests that Rana deliver him to the top of the tower, but she's momentarily distracted with extracting her host's knowledge of Eldritch Speech. Meanwhile, GUNTHAR decides to get started on exploring the tower.
"Valorous compatriots! Let us inspect now with all courage this ELDRITCH TOWER, and the wonders and horrors that may be CONTAINED THEREIN!" GUNTHAR doesn't find an obvious entrance, so he begins to climb down the side with his MIGHTY AXE. He hasn't gone far though when Rana addresses the passing behemoths in Eldritch. The language is a study in contrasts, guttural and final in one breath, squeaking and whining in another, and moldy with whispers in another. She greets the monsters, and they reply in a hundred voices, speaking Eldritch, English, and in the voice you feared most to hear.
"We know you. It has been some time, Thief Rana. You have stolen hundreds of pounds of our servants, and damaged others. This is not Acceptable. You will pay for what you have taken. Your mind shall twist and turn until Thief Rana is no more. What remains will serve, until your debt is paid. This is Acceptable.""Trespasser Joshua, and Trespasser Gunthar. You have committed no sin but the accompanying of Thief Rana. For this, we shall show mercy. As you slave and madden, we shall tell you such truths that you are grateful when you become Acceptable."The horrors begin to float toward you, distorting like a halo around the moon.
Grab the milk jug and summon some ghost milk!
4You pick up the milk jug, and draw a quick ritual circle. Following the instructions of the Laconomicon, you reach out to the afterworld and draw back the soul of the milk that once dwelt here. After minutes of chanting, you open your eyes. It is done. The milk jug floats before you. Inside, not quite there, but hovering inside the jug like a lagging afterimage, is a ghost of milk. It's not yet true milk, but it's almost there. According to the Laconomicon, you need to do something to give the milk a sense of "meaning" somehow, before it becomes fully real.