Now that I’m in Greenland, practice ice magic, attempting to magically form structures such as buildings out of ice and snow
2
Nothing happens.
"Looks like your time is up, foul antidae!" Dramatically hold them off, and loot any Time Geese I kill/incapacitate for equipment and weapons. Use the equipment to find rifts. If found, continue with Operation Epilogue.
Yell for OT some more.
Urge Milton to complete Operation Epilogue on his own, assuming he can find a time portal.
Also, pray.
6
You fire your last musket shot at an approaching goose, miss, and hit an adjacent building. The bullet ricochets loudly into a barrel of oil across the road, spooking a nearby horse into bolting. The contents of the cart it was pulling are sent flying through the air, heavy bags of flour interrupting a volley of musket fire from the Time Geese, and scattering through the air. Flaming oil spurts everywhere, igniting the flour. The resulting explosion throws you and Milton into a time-rift.
The two of you emerge in about 20 AD. Britain is a wild land, part of it nominally under Roman rule but largely controlled by Celtic kings. Milton is just about capable of exchanging a few words with the locals, thanks to his Latin and old English, but it's not easy.
>Have my men take over the spaceship construction facilities, and have them produce enough ships (as well as supplies to keep them operational until a permanent and self sufficient base amongst the stars) to supply my entire cult. They joined me while being perfectly aware that they might die in the process of fighting for me, after all. Heavily fortify the launch sites and manufacturing locations; I can't afford any ships lost due to US soldiers.
3 v 5
You manage to hold off local soldiers until the Time Geese show up with weapons from the future, and overrun the NASA facilities, slaughtering cult members. You end up barricaded in the central control room, under attack from all sides, with only a small force of cult members left. The geese seem very eager to get hold of the space facilities that haven't been destroyed. Their futuristic railguns seem to have run out of charges though.
FIND POPE. PROTECT POPE.
(Woo, I killed Satan! Didn’t think that would work!)
You find the Pope hiding in an anchorite's cell under the Vatican with two men you don't recognise, several dozen very happy stray cats, a lot of empty wine bottles, and the final draft of a gripping graphic novel about a Buddhist reincarnation of Judas of Nazareth unwillingly taking over the Chicago drug scene. Not quite what you expected, but at least he's safe.
final boss time? summon solaire
no, summon EVERY SOLAIRE. SUMMON EVERY SUNBRO AND GANK THE TIME GEESE.
5
You appeal to... Oolf, I guess? Some kind of supreme being, I suppose. It's pretty hard to tell which religions are even halfway accurate given all the stuff happening.
Anyway, you summon an army of gloriously incandescent sunlight warriors against the oncoming Time Geese.
Resurrect the earth with the music of the Ainur.
6
You play the music of the Ainur, the great beings that created this world through song at the dawn of time. Which are now geese. Because the Time Geese have replaced all the great cosmic entities with geese. They don't take kindly to you un-rewriting history, and their music swells in response, channeling their forces towards your specific point in time.
You've clearly got the attention of the Time Geese. In fact, various armies from the past are now massing in the buildings around the crater which used to be the Vatican. Roman legions, hordes of Goths, WWII forces.
It is time for my greatest feat, I'm gonna call The Time Police and tell them that the geese are fucking all the time and get the geese arrested.
4
Somehow, you invent an extradimensional telephone and call the Time Police. They send four Officers in a squad car. While that doesn't sound like much, the Time Police aren't your usual police officers. They're quite... large. Very large. And liquid. Very liquid. They are still dark blue though. Not their uniforms. They don't have uniforms. Nor their skin. That's transparent. But their... insides are dark blue. And endless.
"Time Geese, eh? Sorry son, but this place looks like a write-off. Far too many of them, should have called us sooner. We'll see what we can do, but it's not looking good."
The Officer shrugs.
TRAVEL THE LAND ON MY CREAKY BED SLEDGE
A LIFELESS BOW ON THE STRINGS OF EARTH
LETHARGIC VIBRATION DULLS SPIRITS AND MINDS
MEMORY ERASED FROM GHOSTS AND MEN
NOTHING CAN TAKE OVER HISTORY
WHEN NO HISTORY EXISTS
5 v 3
You travel the lands, starting a plague of amnesia and apathy with hour long undead minimalist bed-dragging solos. Which is quite clever really, as it cripples the Time Geese's access to future weaponry by dulling the minds of today's top scientists, ensuring such future tech is never produced. The past still exists though, even if nobody remembers it. Hard to maintain a philosophical point about that when being hunted by Edo period shinobi.
Luckily, undead are quite hard to kill, and the general chaos history is in makes it very hard for the Time Geese to find you. Especially as you can always just jump through a time rift and lie low until the present again.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, THREE IS A HOLY NUMBER SO THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM RIGHT?
5
You combine your prayers with the anti-Catholic triumvirate, who kinda need a new job now that the Vatican's been flattened and Catholicism has been proven to be at best as true as some kind of primitive sun-worship. Finally, the heavens hear your pleas, and a horde of Jesuses arrive: Catholic Jesus, Church of England Jesus, Muslim was-a-prophet-but-not-a-deity Jesus, Mormon Jesus, chocolate Jesus, NRA Jesus bearing an assault weapon, Early Christian Jesus, Santa Jesus, Mexican Jesus, Disco Jesus, Westboro Baptist Jesus, agapist Jesus, Coptic Jesus, and countless others.
You now have an army capable of facing the time geese.
Those fools! That fowl madman! It ruined my plans, all of it!...
Is what I would've said if this was not all planed from the start, for you see, this has gone all according to plan. The forces of heaven and hell have been bled dry, the Duck Lords ended once and for all, the dead walk...And the time geese in "control" of all time. But let me say this...
He who controls the past, commands the future. He who commands the future conquers the past.
The Outer gods are dead, and all that is left...Is me.
The time is now! The Brotherhood of Nod strikes from distant shadows, just as I have planned. The Time Geese's one weakness, the pure essence of Canadian Kindness, is unleashed directly on them throughout the timestream itself. While they are annihilated, I shall utilize the Chronosphere to take command of all time! Then, I won't need any Tiberium, for history will be mine! After all...
I am the future
YOU CAN'T STOP THE MESSIAH.
1 v 4
The Time Geese have foreseen this move, and prevented the human settlement of Canada by ensuring that the most terrifying creatures from all of prehistory inhabit it. There is no longer such a country, just an uninhabited area north of the USA, generally referred to as the Land of Teeth and Pain. So you can't do... what was your plan again?
Also, you're still just standing in the middle of the destroyed Vatican, attempting to invoke terrifying eldritch enemies, surrounded by people who were fighting a desperate battle against the forces of darkness you summoned. WWE Jesus is giving you a very mean look.
Warn the Time Geese about the upcoming battle.
Release the Buddhist guy from the Anchorites' cells.
Mind control a bunch of Swiss Guard and turn them against the Pope.
6
You attempt to warn the Time Geese about the upcoming battle over the whole of spacetime. They already know. They consider you to have failed them. They're also not sure why a group of the surviving Swiss guard are obeying your orders. Or why you just telekinetically unlocked the door to the underground cell the Pope was slowly running out of oxygen in. They consider you a traitor to all of Goosekind.
Anyway, that's why you're currently hanging from a timeship anchored above a Temporal Whirlpool, about to be lowered into a vortex of concentrated time and aged thousands of years in a handful of minutes. It's a very deadly and painful process, apparently.
The Time Geese are struggling to maintain their control over history.
The Vatican has been destroyed.
Satan is dead.
Egan_BW has summoned an army of sunlight warriors.
ANGRY DEMON NOISES has summoned an army of Jesuses.
King Zultan has called the Time Police.
Enemy Post leads the surviving Swiss Guard, reanimated monks and flying priests.
The armies the Time Geese have taken from the past hesitate, as if they're waiting for reinforcements of some kind. Nothing comes though, so they advance on the people still standing in the crater of the Vatican. A force of Goths and other barbarians approaches from the North. An ancient Roman legion moves towards you from the South. And a division of the Wehrmacht are advancing from the East.
If you want to be part of the Final Battle, better hop in the nearest time rift sharpish. 
Author
Topic: ROLL TO ANCHORITE (Read 28572 times)