Honk at the Swiss guards and steal the pikes from them.
1
You honk at a Swiss guard. Then the butt of a pike smashes into your head, and everything goes black.
You wake up in a metal cylinder full of explosives. See below for details.
Be a Swiss Guard bothered by goose. Realize that
IN THE HEART OF THE HOLY SEE
IN THE HOME OF CHRISTIANITY
THE SEAT OF POWER IS IN DANGER
6
You are the Vice Commander of the Papal Swiss Guard. A goose honks at you.
Realising the threat this poses to the Christian world, you knock it unconscious, grab it by the beak, and carry it to the top secret missile silo deep below the Vatican. You stuff the animal into the already-full payload compartment of a supersonic cruise missile and fire it at Luxembourg.
OH GOD ITS BURNING, BEAT ON THE DOOR AND YELL FOR SOMEONE TO LET ME OUT AS MY BED IS BURNING AND I MIGHT DIE!
2
Your screams go unheard, and your fists prove useless against the wooden door. Luckily your cell is pretty well ventilated, but your bed is still on fire, which will make sleeping difficult.
You get quite a few splinters.
Be a creature formed from memory, take some memories from the guard to give myself form
2
You're a completely physical creature, in fact a human being. A guard notices that you're not in your anchorite's cell, and helpfully shoves you into it, locking the door.
After a while, some young acolytes come to you, asking for advice about dealing with impure thoughts.
bop dem
3
You bop several before poky halberds in soft spots encourage you to stop moving. You end up in a cell. Not an anchorite's cell though. Just a regular police one.
DOUBLE DOWN ON IT
5
You get a good night's sleep, then try singing some masses. Maybe it's just the acoustics of your cell, but they sound really awesome. You practice diligently, and your voice improves.
+1 to singing rollsGET OUT THE BIG HAMMER AND THE GIANT NAIL AND BUST OUT, LOOKS LIKE I'LL NEED TO WRITE THESE THESES...ON THE POPE'S FACE!!!
1
You pull out a massive hammer and nail. You attempt to break down your cell door, but somehow end up nailed to it.
This is something of a setback for your program of radical reform.
"WHAT THE FRICK?! I AM WAY TOO MUCH OF A DEBASED SINNER FOR THIS!"
QUICKLY, FIND SOME APPROPRIATE OBJECT AND BEGIN TO SELF-FLAGELLATE WHILST FREESTYLING PRAYERS!
PURIFY THE FLESH!
5
You cover yourself in dirt then start whipping yourself with a length of rope while praising every saint you can think of. Hours later, you pass out from exhaustion and holiness.
Impressed by your devotion, a high-ranking cardinal comes to you for advice on a Vatican cocaine scandal. Will you involve yourself in human affairs?
Devestator, CABL, Yoink, Egan_BW, Angry Demon Noises, Naturegirl and King Zultan have found Solitude.
King Zultan, Angry Demon Noises and Yoink have achieved self-flagellation.
Author
Topic: ROLL TO ANCHORITE (Read 28666 times)