Entry 3MaloyMaloy's journey south was largely uninteresting and uninterrupted. He bypassed Juvar's castle in fear that his aide would manage to catch up with him and attempt to saddle him with more work. He hoped the journey would keep him away for sometime honestly, even if that meant everything sort of fell apart while he was away!
Thus, his target was suitable to accomplish this task: The fabled mountain gnome
Museum researchers were mostly sure they still existed in haunted mountains far to the south; why a gnome would live in a haunted mountain range was anyone's guess. He continued for three days without sleeping at night just to make sure that his mortal aide would be unable to catch up and then after than returned to sleeping in the evenings. Despite all his powers he still couldn't see well in the dark and would run into trees or fall into rivers while walking at night.
Finally, after trekking through blizzards all day he ended up at the foot of the mountain on the edge of the dark fortress of Stealmountain. The blizzard was so terrible he was absolutely certain no goblins could see him and even if they could would likely not trouble themselves with the miserable weather just to attack a traveler. If he wasn't an immortal without physical needs the wolf man would be severely concerned about climbing a mountain while wearing armor during a blizzard, but his abilities would preserve his body from the exposure.
He put one paw in front of the other climbing as directly south as he could manage until he crested a ridge of the mountains and waited for the weather to subside. He began looking around for his targets, but so far only found animals. He could feel the dark energies roaring from Realmspire like an inferno: whatever had happened there the wolf man wanted absolutely nothing to do with!
He walked all day up and down the mountain range and found nothing, but regular animals! It was quite frustrating for him, but despite what the museum researchers had said he was certain that the mountain gnomes still existed! Perhaps they had developed some common sense and decided to move away from a haunted mountain home?
Evening came and the wolf man did not stop searching. Walking up and down and all around again while the blizzard had returned with greater force.
He saw many strange small yellow lights glowing in the distance. Many turning off and on over and over again.
As he neared he realized they were eyes blinking and finally he found them!
Gnomes!
They were whispering and gibbering to one another in a tongue that he did not understand and seemed unbothered by the strange wolf man
"Hello!" he attempted
They stared at him and began jabbing their fingers in the direction he was in while now loudly gibbering at one another
"They don't speak the language" he thought "Well, I'll have to try something else"
He began to tell them stories: Of who he was, Makbor, his rise to power, his desire to hire them and anything else he could think of
When he finished they simply stared at him for a few moments before ignoring him entirely and returning to their annoying speech to one another.
The wolf king began to rake his paws into his head fur frustrated. Could they even understand him? They were rude to say the least!
He took a swig of dwarven beer, one of the few bodily experiences he still got to enjoy, and saw that the nearest gnome had turned to watch him drink and stared at him with rapt attention.
Sensing an opportunity he drew near and offered the gnome his waterskin. The gnome stared at it not sure what to do with the gesture.
Frustrated the wolf man threw it on the ground in front of the creature and waited glaring at both the gnome and the waterskin
After a few moments the gnome picked up the waterskin and supped. The gnome's tiny eyes went wide and it began jumping and shouting and guzzling beer while the other gnomes gathered around it. Instead of looking grateful the creatures started shouting at the wolf man gesturing with their hands rudely as if upset. The legends of the goodly mountain gnomes were harshly exaggerated it seems.
He howled to get their attention and when they went momentarily quiet he seized it and shouted "You work for me!" he gestured to the waterskin "You get beer!" he gestured to himself again "Work for me" gestured to the waterskin again "Get beer!"
Surprisingly, this simple exchange between different languages seemed to work as the gnomes swarmed the wolf man looking through his pockets for more alcohol and realizing he had none on him they decided to follow him. As closely as they could.
It looked like abunch of strange little hats that went up to his waist following him as he returned home. The creatures were devious throwing rocks at squirrels in the forest and crunching any bug they could find. The wolf man wasn't sure that the species he found was the mountain gnome, but regardless they could be used!
On the way back he did stop into Juvar's castle this time and found a familiar sight: Asen the commander of Razorbridge was once again looting the warehouse!
Maloy instructed the gnomes to wait outside and although they did not understand kicking one in the knee and then meanly pointing towards a spot nearby seemed to do the trick.
"Asen what the hell are you doing here again, I thought you were gonna retire to an island with the treasure from here?"
The legendary dwarf commanded jumped up from the wolf lord's storming into the room and turned "Well, it didn't work out, lordship!"
"What do you mean? there were enough jewels in here to buy a fortress!" Looking around the warehouse of jewels was clearly cleared out! The room was now full of plants: barleys and other brew able goods
One of the commander's entourage chimed in laughing "Commander, tell him what happened!" the cronie's face grew red from laughing so hard "Tell him!"
The greying commander's red cheeks were just visible above his massive beard accentuated by furrowed brows "Look, that merchant was a very convincing sort. Told me great tall tales of a remote island no one, but he had ever been to with beautiful beaches, fertile land and free to buy the map for!"
Another laughing cronie joined in "Except the scam artist had an eyepatch, met you in a shady tavern and waited until you were five drinks in to make his offer!"
"Shut up, you!" Asen shouts before returning his gaze to the wolf lord "Anyway, yeah. Returned and I just square exchanged all the gems for the map and a boat, but when we got there it wasn't what he promised. The place had a previous tenant! A necromancer! He had killed all the wildlife and raised some of them as zombies. Place was strewn with bones and rotting meat everywhere with nothing for us to live on and zombies all around! It was a hell hole!"
"I did get to make me a nice kiwi skull necklace though" Chimed a cronie
"And the merchant?" Maloy asked
"Gone when we got back. No one knows where he went, but I swear by my ancestors I'll throttle him, but first, well got some more important things"
"How do you have other things going on?" the wolf asked worriedly
"Debts, lordship, owed quite a bit of debts that I was hoping I could just move to the island to get away from, but not to worry we got a plan, and a back up plan too!"
The cronie known as Urist grabbed a handful of barley and held it up "We're going to make a brewery!"
Asen nodded his head sagely with a smirk "That's right, lads! With all that blight nonsense alcohol access is at an all time low, but desire to be drunk at an all time high!"
He turned his head to the wolf lord again and continued "Don't know where that crazy sod of a vampire got a warehosue full of barley, but he certainly ain't gonna be using it!"
"It's the modern day equivalent of finding a warehouse full of gems?" the wolf lord asked drly
"Exactly-wait, that was sarcasm wasn't it?"
"Absolutely wasn't, commander. There's a problem with your plan"
"Uh oh" Urist exclaimed
"Razorbridge ships hundreds of barrels of booze to these lands and we are in the process of opening a brewery outside Makbor. There is no shortage."
The entire group of dwarves audibly exclaimed sighing and shouting frustrations. One dwarf kicked a pile of barley while Asen pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and closed his eyes.
"Tell him the back up plan, commander!" Asen looked worriedly at the speaker "I'm kind of afraid to now"
He sighed to himself resigned to his fate "That one over there is Kivish" he said motioning to the only she-dwarf of the gang "She's a barronness consort now. Married up and all. With her husband she gets all sorts of favors and can ask for things like money or goods and the like. We can live high and tight as her guards and when her husband passes she gets all the wealth! Easy living!"
The wolf man felt thoroughly sad he had to keep crushing their dreams like this, but he felt he had to speak "I'm sorry but-"
"No!" shouted the dwarf who kicked the barley earlier
"Yes. Well, barronness-consort means wife of lower-status. It means that she has no actual political power in the system. When her husband dies she just goes back to being a commoner" The wolf lord finished
At this point one of the dwarves began crying and Asen placed both hands on Maloy's shoulders. He looked him square in the eyes "You've shattered my dreams and I hate you for it, lordship"
There was opportunity here though: These dwarves had successfully relocated an entire warehouse of goods, acquired a boat, traversed to an island, made it back and were about to relocate a second warehouse to open a business. Not to mention they were capable guards all clearly armed for battle.
The dwarves were moping around the warehouse now not wanting to go out into the freezing snow, but also not enjoying looking at their own failure
"I've got an offer for you all actually!" Maloy declared loudly. Asen dared not accept hope as he looked at the wolf man glumly. The wolf lord caught the group up on his acquisition of divine metal, forging and muliplication of it, and selling it internationally. "-and so that's why I'm out and about now. I need people who can move caravans, people who can do the planning and administration of all that, and meet with leaders, guilds, etc to accomplish it all! All that to say come work for me you guys clearly can get a lot done when you're directed properly!"
The greed shone in the eyes of his audience and they huddled up quickly into a circle whispering and grumbling to one another
"What's the pay?" Kivish called from the circle
"A lot. A lot a lot. I have a forge worker making scorched metal coins nonstop, but I don't really need the money and I hate the extra work"
The circle returned to fevered whispering. Finally, Asen stepped out "We'll take you up on the deal, lordship. But we don't wanna be caravan guards! Let us run the business of sending them out, meeting the folk and paying us pay due for that kind of leadership"
"Oh thank the gods, yes you can have that job!" Maloy declared and grabbed the dwarf's hand and shook it.
"Hey you're the guy who sang "She sang Tulips" at that tavern right?" one of his new employees called
"Yes, that was me." Maloy replied
A different dwarf called "I remember that! It was quite...arousing"
Maloy made a disgusted face at the middle aged dwarf "Okay, you don't ever speak again. Anyway let's go I need to introduce you to some other new employees"
It was a brief yet difficult conversation to explain to the dwarves not to kill the gnomes on sight and as it turns out they were DARK gnomes! Mischievious and all together unlikeable versions of the more well known mountain gnomes. This did not dissuade the wolf lord from using them though.
He told everyone to wait to make his regular visit to lord Juvar in the castle and they briefly argued before Juvar demanded the wolf lord leave. Maloy was beginning to believe Juvar enjoyed the fighting as much as he did!
They returned to Makbor by morning time and he set to work placing his new employees where they needed to go. Asen set right to work on the paperwork with his cronies. Maloy locked the dark gnomes in a particular empty building and instructed the aide to send all complaint paperwork and complaining dignateries to speak to the darn gnomes. The gnomes were ideal customer service representatives: Hostile, short, mean, mischevious and absolutely impossible to understand! They also were too small to open doors and accepted payment in alcohol meaning he could work them as long as needed!
He surmised that with his discovery he should make a submission of one to the museum in order to renew his membership. Being an immortal ruler of a small kingdom there was a chance that heroes might one day think him a tyrant and want to kill him so it was important to do due diligence to maintain his living state!
He sat at his desk one day writing his thoughts when he saw Asen outside giving commands to his goofy cronies and other Makbor servants. They all looked like they were having the time of their lives together and it struck the wolf lord-to-king how much he enjoyed their company. Still, though sorrow pulled at his heart. They were just past middle-aged and they would all die one day while he still lived. There was an existential loneliness to immortality, especially as most immortals turned into either berserk monsters, insane tyrants or obsessive egomaniacs. "The loneliness is probably why" he surmised. He decided to include such ponderings into his economic treatise he was writing.
His aide interrupted his thinking "Majesty, the shipment of weapons and armor from Razorbridge to Makbor is ready to be picked up. Also a group of those angel women have requested to settle on our eastern border in the abandoned town of Rubbeddwelling."
"Okay, great have Asen send a caravan to pick both up"
His aide smirked "I believe you should be the one to do this, majesty"
The wolf man gave the aging human a withering looking "Why?"
The aide laughed "Because, you also have a missive from the queen of the Walled Dye!"
The wolf man jumped out of his chair "You should have started with that!"
"I just wanted to see your face! Her majesty has become ill in her old age and decided to spend her final days in Razorbridge. In fact, she built an artifact as her last act and decreed it be passed onto you"
It seemed as if he wanted to say more, but wasn't. "Spit it out, man!" Maloy cried
"It's a door, sir. On it is the history of Razorbridge. According to the royal messenger it represents how the door to all the Walled Dye is open to you now and it's resources are all open to your use"
Maloy's mouth dropped at that. That was the highest honor the queen could bestow on the wolf man, short of declaring him heir which she had no power to do anyway.
I mean it made sense he had equipped the dwarves with enough divine metal to make them wealthy beyond dreams and given them an army of immortal angelic warriors. Still though, he wasn't used to things going his way or being recognized.
The wolf king once more picked up his cloak and turned to the smiling aide "Well, once more I'll be off! Keep an eye on things for me, will you?"
What I imagine the dark gnomes look like via Overlord 2
OOC:
The key to finding wild dark gnomes is to hunt for them at night. They're completely nocturnal
I'm also having trouble writing Arthur's portion which was actually supposed to be released before this one. Arthur takes himself so seriously that it's hard for me to write.
The wolf man is easier because his story fills with so much humor and irony.
Author
Topic: Museum III, adventure succession game (DF 0.47.05) (Read 474183 times)