One day, a goblin went to the temple of Mata Swiftjudged in Dreadruled. It was a small but well-appointed temple, with many statues made of expensive gems and metals scattered about.
Dreadruled had a lot of history, and it was here that much of that history was stored. Many artifacts with long and storied histories were contained within.
This goblin was not here to worship. She was a young acolyte, and it was her job to clean the relics. This was a task she had done many times. She was no longer awed by the craftsdwarfship. The task had become boring.
The First Bristle had told her never to touch two of the artifacts at the same time, or something terrible would occur. The goblin did not see why, but went along with it anyway. But today she was in a hurry to finish. So she picked up the two battle axes at the same time.
And was changed.
LONG AGO, I, DREAMYPUZZLED THE TENEBROUS OBSCURITY, ROSE FROM THE UNDERWORLD TO RULE THE KNOWING DECEIVER. I WAS A POWERFUL AND JUST RULER, AND LIFE WAS GOOD. UNTIL THE NECROMANCERS CAME. THEY BROUGHT WAR TO OUR PEACEFUL PITS. I SLEW HUNDREDS OF THEM BUT I WAS STRUCK DOWN IN THE END.
BUT BEFORE I WAS SLAIN I DIVIDED MY SOUL INTO SEVEN PIECES AND STORED THEM WITHIN SEVEN RELICS THAT I TOOK FROM THE FOUL UNDEAD. AND NOW THAT TWO PIECES OF MY SOUL HAVE COME TOGETHER WITHIN A HOST, I HAVE BEEN REBORN!
I AM DREAMYPUZZLED, AND I AM ETERNAL.