Part 17 - Apocrypha: the Many Deaths of Goblins (and Others)This covers my non-canon attempts of using the Temple of Armok for the purpose it was intended - dumping hostiles on iron spikes so they bleed to death for the glory of
Khorne Armok, and our own amusement.
It should go without saying that in all
3 4 scenarios I have attempted, that exact part has not happened.
In all cases, the military was involved; the melee squad, The Future Girders, has been stationed in the cage room, while the (woefully untrained) marksdwarves, The Ochre Youth, are mostly sitting outside the fortification walls of the Temple itself, in theory waiting to finish off any survivors of the spikes.
Before we start, this was the happiness status across the fort.
Version 1: Military Only.In this (and first) version, only the military has been tasked to deal with the invaders.
After (most of) the squads assembled, the doors to the cage room are locked, the Future Girders are both released from orders, and switched to inactive (by which I mean: s-{select squad, in this case d}-t), so they and only they can begin mass pitting all invaders.
It.. does not go well.
I begin the pitting with 4 beak dogs. Nothing complicated, amirite?
Practically immediately, I get interruption spam. The first beak dog to be removed from a cage didn’t make it to the basement, and is running around in the room, scaring the ever-loving piss and shit out of the FG, who all run around like headless chicken. And being equally scared itself, not that anybody cares.
I re-enable the FG’s active status, again with s-d-t, and they very quickly murder the shit out of the loose beak dog.
Then they begin training. Cause that’s what active-duty dorfs do, I guess.
I re-disable active status. This time 2 beak dogs are removed from cages. One is successfully pitted, suffers no damage from the fall or spike, and is slowly shot by The Ochre N00bs (yes, I know I made that joke before).
The other one repeats the story from beak dog #1. It gets resolved in the same manner, too.
By this point it has turned the
17th. I am sufficiently frustrated that I order the doors unlocked, the FG squad stationed in the cage room, and all the recent invaders pitted. I expect this will fail miserably.
22nd. It does. Interruptions run rampant, dwarves and others run around like headless chicken, and the only goblin I have seen in the pit is a corpse. The invaders have been, in their majority, killed by The Future Girders, in glorious melee combat. Only 4 beak dogs have made it in the pit; the rest of the invaders were released, and killed, up in the cage room
At least the bolt collection is working. Too bad not many bolts will ever go there, eh?
Now only the cleanup has remained. There is one lone goblin still caged; he was part of a different sege, and so wasn’t marked for pitting.
The real casualty of this exercise was the happiness of our dorfs.
Version 2: Everybody and Their Pet Dog (Who Died).In this version, I still station the Ochre Youth in the basement corridor, and the Future Girders in the cage room, but I don’t bother with any subtlety. Everybody gets to pit!
Also in this version, I find out that my latest save wasn’t on the 9th of Obsidian, as I thought. It was on the 2nd, so I need to re-do the hatch designations, and the military orders.
Anyway. Back to experimenting.
For one GLORIOUS moment, this seems to be working!
Then everything goes to shit. I hesitate to say it went to hell, since that has a different meaning in Dwarf Fortress, where it is possible to go to hell (and make it yours).
Once again, the FutureGirders get the bulk of the kills. What’s really interesting is that the pit now only contains a few beak dogs:
(also, a bit of water; apparently, between the late hour and my butter fingers, I had marked the pit as pond, and through the whole mess, some dwarf had dutifully started dumping water in it).
The cleanup then proceeds; in the pic above, you can see they started with the corpses in the cage room; perhaps because those were first to get killed?
You can also see the titular dead dog; I wasn’t joking about it. It was really a pet, too; I saw the name and announcement when it got gibbed, but at that time I didn’t think it was important.
For some weird ass reason, I haven’t screenshotted the happiness levels here. It was even worse than the first run; 2 guys had dropped all the way to miserable, and 17 were very unhappy!
Version 3: One Lone Pitter.This one is the most involved; I allow only one poor sod to pit the invaders. If goblins and trolls really do climb the spikes back up into the room, we are definitely going to find out.
The victim
du jour is picked from our sad sacks: Ingish RumorLabored, serial tantrummer, who is currently reading:
On a side-note: Salmeuk, your is, bar none, the happies dorf in the fort:
This hits a snag, because Ingish is part of the Ochre Noobs, and is stationed below. So I picked the next in line: another dwarfette, marked for the military life, but not drafted anywhere. This is GearMazes, who's been tantrumming so many times over the year.
… she then goes to get a drink. Ugggh.
Fuck it. I pick the next in line who’s currently idle; it happens to be a pump operator with no other skills. She gets to work, and is immediately interrupted by the very troll she has pitted:
However, some success: the troll has been tossed down the pit!
When checking the combat log, I can at least confirm the troll has suffered exactly zero damage from the upright spike; all the attacks upon her were from the marksdwarves:
The combat log also shows a second troll, this one named Aslot, who was attempted to be pitted after Ozud. The operation was cancelled - she was interrupted by a troll. Aslot has then immediately attacked the dwarfette, and was then piled on by the military:
The dwarfette has fled out of the room. Presumably, she’ll return to pit the others?
The dwarfette does return, to haul away an empty cage. I suppose that makes sense, she’s the only one in the fort who can do that.
Next on the list is a beak dog. She is immediately interrupted by a beak dog, so at least I have an inkling that the cause of the failures are the very animals people are hauling.
The beak dog is chopped up by the military, nearly instantaneously; I don’t even have time to see it. All I can find is four chunks of it, already marked for hauling.
The troll in the pit has made no moves to climb up. I’m still trying to find out if goblins and trolls can climb the spikes back up.
So for this purpose, I have a slightly evil idea: when our pump operator returns, I’ll lock the door behind her. She will have no jobs, besides pitting invaders; and I will focus on the basement itself. The cage room will have to manage itself.
Unfortunately, we are delayed. Our designated target is in the hospital, resting and unconscious:
Oh well, next on the chopping block.
Mamzel GearMazes has finished her drink, and went back to reading; hey, would you like to do something more exciting?
She picks a troll; this one too escapes, and is also killed off by the melee squad, almost instantaneously:
The troll below has been shot to death, by the way. After it gave Armok some ideas about how to shape an adamantine vein:
Another!
The military insta-gibs this one, too. I’m tempted to remove them from duty, just to see what happens:
They let loose a beak dog, who’s running around the room and nobody’s killing it. But it gives me a chance to play around with GifCam:
With the military disabled, and me putzing around with recording software, the beak dog gets to do some damage.
Happiness-wise, we aren't doing so bad; but then again, we only killed what, 5 invaders?
Personally, I consider this experiment quite done. Pitting invaders is a pain and a half, and if I had to do it, I’d just station the military on top of the cage stockpile and let them loose.
… That sound like a great idea for experiment #4!
Version 4: Screw the Pit, we’re Using the Army!For this run, I’m ordering both squads in the cage room, and only a limited number of citizens allowed for animal hauling. Given the swarming mess that happened in version 2, I think this for the best; I do want the option to lock those doors, at some point…
I take away animal hauling from everybody; after the military assembles, I’ll hand it to the idlers.
5th. Assembled enough, I suppose.
There are 12 idlers in the fort now; of them 4 or 5 make it to the room before I lock the doors. Then they… proceed to rapidly pit most invaders, through locked hatches, with no incident? Goodness gracious, was this the missing key ingredient of the pit?
None of the pitted invaders take a lick of damage from the spikes, though. The combat log is as untouched as freshly-driven snow. The only fighting is from the roc, biting the head off another wild boar.
Hum. I unlock doors, set animal hauling back to everyone, and alter military orders: the Ochre Youth go back to the shooting gallery, while the Future Girders are free to do as they please.
8th. The cages are empty, the basement is full of unharmed goblins, and the marksdwarves have yet to haul ass to the shooting gallery:
12th. I’m sorry, what?
The location of the announcement is in the bolt collection pit; it would seem the fortification teleport bug has made another appearance.
In the absence of better ideas, i station the Future Girders on top of the empty cage and animal stockpile:
14th. With one more instance happening, it finally dawns on me that no goblins have teleported through the wall. What is happening instead is that dwarves are coming to pick up arrows from the pit and getting interrupted by seeing goblins above. I solve the matter by locking the access door.
15th Excuse me, what the fuck?
Back on the 13th, Olonised, aka GearMazes, has thrown a tantrum, and then proceeded to punch a good half the tavern. Two pages of her kicking, punching, and twisting limbs on various people. This spilled over into the enormous mess above.
GearMazes’ latest thoughts are just insult to injury:
Oh noes, poor baby, how dare the consequences of your actions come back to bite you in the ass!
While this stupidity is unfolding, our 8 markdswarves are reliably plinking at goblins. They often move away to replenish bolts, though.
I also find out upright spikes can be destroyed by trolls; why, though? They are traps, not buildings; or maybe they do count as buildings, but are built from the trap menu because of historical reasons, or such? I don’t know...
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That’s all the obvious scenarios I could think of.
What conclusions can I draw from it?
Firstly: locking hatches is a must. That part sincerely surprised me; I’m used to dorfs ignoring locked doors and hatches, so when they started pitching invaders through locked hatches, it was entirely unexpected.
On a good note, generalized mass pitting can be used, all at once, ‘cause that actually worked pretty well. Still recommend a melee squad stationed in the cage room, though.
Secondly: the temple basement needs revamping. The spikes are definitely not working. Either they need to be connected to some form of power to get retracted and extended (dwarf-powered lever, or minecart repeater - for which there is a convenient unused space west of the temple...). Or just replace them with good old-fashioned weapon traps; I’m pretty sure you can even reuse the spikes...
One more suggestion, that I’m personally not so keen on, is to expand the Temple one level below; that was mostly caused by the incident in Version 2, where goblins & trolls
were successfully pitted only to go back up. I wouldn’t do it, because locking hatches is enough to prevent them from it, as shown in Version 4. If you do decide to make the temple deeper, though, also reduce some of the area to the West, so it doesn’t intersect with the poultry room.
GifCam -
http://blog.bahraniapps.com/gifcam/#download - Introduced to me by RoomCarnage, but I only ‘installed‘ it before Version3. I put ‘installed’ in quotes, because it doesn’t need installation - just unzip & run.
For the actual play-though, I am going to ignore the Temple entirely. As far as I’m concerned, I had my shot and missed it.