Tell Me Of The ElphoThis is a amethyst-bound codex.
The written portion consists of an essay entitled Tell Me Of The Elpho authored by Deler Cogthikut. It concerns the Journal of Kikrost “Elpho” Usthuthdeleth. The writing is scathing and cruel. Overall, the prose is amateurish at best.[Excerpt]The passages which cover the latter half of the Autumn of 170 (recall, this would reflect 171 in reality) and Winter list Elpho personally accomplishing over 100 tasks, many of which would require several days to complete. Needless to say, certainly most of this did not occur. Elpho's account of personally drowning a goblin in the Tall Bar is not only ridiculous, but also impossible, as the magma on the top of it - world-renowned for pouring on goblins - wasn't completed until after 175. So why is it, exactly, that Elpho made up so many events? Was it to cover something more sinister that he was performing? Perhaps it was to distract us from the horrid details of some dastardly accomplishment he is liable for!
[Excerpt]An interesting account of the happenings of Smallhands in 171 comes to us from Mestthos Morulurol, the Outpost Liaison at the time. He was known to have caught the Smallhands Steam in one of his many trips there. Other than that, Mestthos was something of a known lout when it came to his job. The travelling seemed to be enough for him, as he failed to do several of the record keeping responsibilities of his position. Which makes this occasion in Autumn of 171 all the more important that he saw fit to write it down. I will remind the reader that one of the symptoms of the Smallhands Steam is hallucinations, so we unfortunately must take Mestthos' words with a significant grain of salt. His journal reads,
...then, I swear by Ervetek, the walls themselves started to speak to me. As if being scratched into them – like some sort of tall sheep was doing it with its wool – the limestone walls revealed a message to me “I'm still here.” It scared me halfway too deep, and I moved to Salmeuk's office right quick. I saw a message there too, already on the wall this time, but looked new and I felt...cold.
It said, “Cozy, thanks to the central heating.”
This, if Mestthos can be trusted, can only mean one thing. The legendary ghoul Nogood's ghost was still haunting Smallhands! Wake up, people! “I'm still here”? Who else but the ever-dying overseer would say something like that? “Central heating”? Surely a reference to his magmatic tomb! And Elpho had something to do with it!
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Journal of Kikrost "Elpho" Ustuthdeleth, Elf-lover written in 198, Spring
[Excerpt]I was informed, much to my merriment, that it was on the day after I smote that villainous goblin, that dear petite Smallhands had reached the anniversary of its first migrant wave, a wonderous 20 years it had been for the fortress. I did what any good overseer would do and created a grand and magnanimous temple unlike any that had been seen in Smallhands, nay, dear reader, I suggest better than any seen on this world or any other.
[Excerpt]And with that and after the parade through the halls, after shaking every fine dwarf's hand and kissing every baby, I entered the Tall Bar for the last time. I sat down on a golden stool and raised a glass of Recon's finest wine. With that, dear reader, I ended my tenure as overseer, and I think I left the place a bit better than it started, if I do say so myself.
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Post script
Things got unfortunately a bit boring for the latter half of my turn - I spent some time trying to clean up the fort. I geared up for another raid but didn't send it as the troops didn't seem well-trained enough to just mercilessly meat-grind like that.
The biggest accomplishment was re-organizing the military and their training grounds. The Swamp Hunters have been moved to a large range near the indoor swamp.
[Pictured: Swamp Hunter firing bolts over the heads of engravers who are smoothing the place out]
A new squad named "The Vile Goo" have taken the old Swamp Hunter barracks. The Vile Goo are all the unnamed non-essential dwarves in the fort, basically. Some of them have the fever, so they may be more of an "emergency force" only or for raids. Oh and one dwarf is stuck in the Elf Touchers -shrug-
Also, these two tickled me but I couldn't find a way to drop them in my report.
The file can be found
here! Castimier, it's your turn!
Author
Topic: Smallhands - nearly 40 years and still tiny! (Read 441767 times)