Log of Avuz the Most Unholy 22nd of Moonstone 187No,
NO NO!Its all going wrong!
I had the majority of the bears and cubs butchered for soap. But the moment the butchers had finished those damned bears popped out another group of 8 cubs! I had them butchered too yet the bears kept breeding!
I checked the records and someone had sabotaged the order! All the gelded bears were turned into my new rug while the breeding bears lived on. Curse these layabouts!
Later I tracked down the culprit responsible for the clear defiance, only to find the most stupid dwarf in the fortress, a one "Bob" the Brewer, had processsed the slaughter while
SOBERZultan refuses to have him incarcerated for idiocy stating there weren't enough cells for incompetence to be a crime.
Fuming at this setback I instead turned to acquiring the obsidian required for the ritual. Under the guise of having that eyesore, the tall bar made brighter, I had the miners dig out the top layer that I had turned into obsidian during my previous schemes.
Disaster struck again!
I attempted to sabotage the mining to drop a piece of rock on Salmeuk and slay that so called sole survivor for his stubborn defiance of Lord Weevilmessiah. I ordered him to move furniture about in the tavern proper while digging to ensure rubble fell on his fever addled skull.
The rubble fell perfectly as intended. But Salmeuk had knocked off early and refused to move the furniture to the stockpile and was nowhere near the debris when I dropped it!
A piece of obsidian dropped down from the roof of the bar, through that gaudy gold table, through the granite and orthoclase floors, through the silver floors, and all the way to the barracks. With no splatted Salmeuk in sight!
It did however lead to the discovery of black sand being the remains of the previous crystal glass ceiling. A fascinating phenomenon. Normally built dwarven structures are impregnable if they are magma resistant. This glass was resistant for a time, but a side effect of the obsidian process must have turned them to ash
(OOC this was a surprise. The crystal glass ceiling was still glass for years no matter how much magma pumped up top. But when I came to dig it out, it was all turned to sand)
Then for my third plan to gradually starve the fort, I sought our bookkeeper to sell all our prepared food, drink, seeds and edibles to the merchant caravan. Yet the caravan folk refused to take all our food complaining about something as trivial as weight!
I still offloaded a big portion of our supplies, but the dwarves seemed almost relieved when half of it went back to the false mountainhomes.
In frustration, I prayed to Lorsith for forgiveness for the delays in the masterplan. He was raving and ranting about something related to the arch heretic and thence turned his wrath upon me. A throne as a reward for me was now going to be rescinded. I understood, but was confused. What throne?
Then a dwarf who had been hiding for a week burst into the overseer's office
He claimed it as his own. So this was the lord's decree I dismissed him. Very well then, if Lorsith expects better he will get better! I drafted a letter and sent it out. Soon after while I was overseeing the demise of the magma umbrella, my associates arrived.
Author
Topic: Smallhands - nearly 40 years and still tiny! (Read 441026 times)