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[Salmeuk]

ahaha all of this banter and exchange of dark arts knowledge has me laughing. All of you are awesome people for keeping this thread rolling!

I vote ghoulification but only for the story potential.

[QuQuasar]

"Um... hello? Overseer? Why am I in here? Ooh, this is a nice bridge. And that door too! I like that door."





"Don't worry Elpho. Your suffering will be over soon."

"I'm... um... I'm not sure what you're talking about but it seems like you accidentally locked the door? Overseer? Overseer!"

Metal footsteps echoed on stone in the corridor outside as Quasar moved towards the drowning chamber lever. Before she could pull it however the door burst open and Recon, dungeon master, tavern keeper and former overseer burst in.

"What the hell Dastot?! What do you think you're doing?"

"You don't get to call me that, Recon." Quasar said, glaring.

Recon slowed her pace, approaching the mummified corpse with balled fists.

"I don't care, I just got word from the other overseers that you're murdering dwarves! Why? For what reason?"

Unexpectedly, the overseer burst out laughing. Genuine, if somewhat rattling and very dusty, laughter. Recon took a step backwards. She'd been warned about this, but none of the other ghouls had ever shown actual emotion before. It was... unsettling.

"Hahahahah! What do you care, Dungeon Master? They're tantrumers! Criminals! Isn't this how criminals are treated in Smallhands?"

"Don't be ridiculous! The laws are clear, punishment can only be administered by beating, prison, hammer or-"

Recon froze, and Quasar leant in, far too close for comfortable. Recon turned her head away slightly at the musky smell of death coming from the ghouls body.

"Yes, old friend? What's the other one? Do go on. Tell me."

Recon closed her eyes. "... or exile."

"Exile, heh? Exile? That's what you call it? Hahahaaaah! Ten years, Recon. Ten years of torture and starvation and nothing to drink but fucking tea. Do you know what tea is, Recon? Do you?"

Recon inhaled deeply. The two dwarves had mostly avoided each other since the day Dastot had been rescued, Recon having returned to her old jobs as a legendary Dyers room and Quasar running around babbling on the craftsfloor. Recon let the breath out in a sigh.

"We didn't know you'd been-"

"It's leaf juice, Recon! Leaf juice!"

"We didn't know you'd been captured," Recon repeated herself quietly. "When we found out, the overseer sent me to collect you. Now let Elpho go, and we can talk about it, okay Dastot?"

Quasar reached out and grabbed Recon by the collar of her +steel breastplate+, lifting her up and bringing their faces close together. Recon stared defiantly into Quasars blank, dead eyes, sunken into her dessicated face, somehow stared piercingly back.

And then she gave an evil smirk.

"Lies."

Finally, Dastot got herself captured by goblins. I'm not rescuing her given her previous conduct and lack of any useful skills. I had myself a little private toast after hours to commemerate the removal of such a troublesome individual in a way nobody suspected.

A note to my successors, don't bother rescuing her. 49532 stress and no skills beyond proficient is not worth the trouble.

With the strength of the dead, Quasar flung Recon across the room, grabbed the flush lever, and pulled.

"Elpho will die and be reborn, as all of Smallhands will! I am the queen of this place, and I will end all it's suffering in time, but you, Recon? You will suffer the longest. I'll see to it personally."

From the other room, the sound of rushing water came in, and Elpho began screaming. Recon didn't bother with words anymore. She tackled the crazed ghoul to the ground, and pulled the lever back.



The sound of rushing water from the adjacent room stopped, and for a moment there was silence. And then...

"Um, overseer? I think there was an accident with the aquifer! Can you let me out, please? There's still an air bubble up near the roof, but..."



In the adjacent room, Recon and Quasar were still wrestling over the control levers.

"Stop this! I know you, Dastot! Even if it was hopeless, you'd want to save Elpho! Right?"

"You know nothing about me!"

"She's not too far gone! You don't need to do this! You don't-"

Recon's voice was choked off as Quasar grabbed her by the throat and flung her away again. A brief chuckle transitioned into a full blown maniacal laugh as she reached out and pulled the control lever.

"No!"

"Hah! I win! I- wait. Oh shit, this is the wrong lever."



*SPLOOSH*

"Aaaaaah!"

"... whoops."


Recon got to her feet, cautiously watching as Quasar thought for a moment, started to speak, then stopped and thought again. Finally she opened her mouth.

"I... uh... so, this is embarrassing, but... what did you mean when you said she wasn't too far gone?"


[three days later]

So, after some... "heated discussion"... with... some of the former overseers... and some reflection upon my actions... I have decided... not to murder Elpho. I think she can yet be saved.

I asked our senior glassmakers Alath, Mateusz, Radiofort and Id to teach her the art. She will be assigned no other tasks and will be given her own forge. She's always wished to create a great work of art, so this is the first step on that road.

She also thanked me for teaching her how to swim. I did not know how to respond to that.




Urist, the Surgeon, still has a ways to go before he is free from the taint of stress. He toppled a farmers workshop and that screw pump I had built from artifact mechanisms at the start of my term as overseer.



He's now running off to start a fist fight. I wonder where he's... oh no. No! Not the adorable beak puppies!



Oh thank goodness. He beat up a Giant Red-winged blackbird and knocked 'Knightwing's teeth out instead. An understandable outburst, given his stress residue, and nothing that cannot be repair- wait.

He destroyed the work orders that were in those workshops! Fuck! Lock that arsehole up! He can wait off the rest of that stress in prison.





Welcome back, Solon.




I have begun the process of standardizing the uniforms in Smallhands.



All shoes, mittens, caps, sandals and other non-standard equipment will be taken to the trade depot to be sold. The entire fortress will participate in this endeavor. For the time being, all non-refuse hauling is forbidden. A string of dwarves carries a great many items up to the trade depot. Just in time, by the looks of things...




The traps around the outer wall have been replaced with something a little more formidable. We have no need for more caged goblins. Better to just kill them.



We already have our first evidence that it works..



Heh. Fucking swans.


It would have been optimal for Smallhands if this trade caravan had been bringing leather bins, wood, flux and coal. Apparently my luck is contagious, however, because they brought exactly none of those things.

Oh well. Perseverance is not a choice, it is a fact of existence. In exchange for the tsunami of clothing and hoof and bone crafts we intend to swamp the traders under, we shall purchase their steel toys and anvils for melting and maybe some milk to turn into cheese. We will ask the Outpost Liason to order the more important resources for...

... where is the outpost liason? She should have been here by now...



Oh crap!




Oh crap!




Oh crap!

[fatcat__25]

Fatcat is just finishing a mug of decent beer when someone else in the tavern comments they had heard Elpho was almost ghoulified. This news causes him to spit his drink out explosively, begin to rail against those who would take an honest dwarf's chance to become a master artist like himself, and stop to apologize for and clean up his mess. Having completely lost his interest in drink for the moment, he then stomps off, muttering about wasted chances at masterworks, and other crimes against dwarfdom.

[QuQuasar]

Okay, okay, one thing at a time! First, the beak dogs.

Opening the door to the swamp was a bad idea. Asking Onget to go get some of that spare wood inside was a worse one.



Luckily, Onget happens to a member of the fortress guard. His weapon is an incredibly shitty silver spear, but it's still a weapon. He will at least be able to defend himself until the Siege Breakers arrive.



Of the two beak dogs, one is killed and the other flees. Now, about that other problem...


Elpho appears to be hunting down the captain of the guard specifically, stalking ZultanKing the way a rich elf hunts poor people in the forest for sport. Probably not her brightest move.



At least, that's what I thought. Instead, she traumatizes a rabbit.

She doesn't hurt it or anything. Just picks it up by it's right front paw, stares deeply into it's dumb bunny eyes, and says "Rabbit. You."



ZultanKing observes this happen, casually convicts her of one count of disorderly conduct, and then bites her fucking throat out.



WHAT THE FUCK ZULTANKING.

Zultanking then punches her in the wound for good measure, causing poor Elpho's throat to explode in gore.

I REPEAT, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ZULTANKING.

Recon happens to be nearby, and drags the two of them apart. She lifts Elpho and carries her to the nearby hospital as quickly as possible, leaving a trail of blood behind her. Elpho's blood pressure must be super high, because she is gushing all over the place. Just an absolute goddamn waterfall of dwarf blood.



Recons rescue attempt is admirable. It won't help, though. It doesn't take a doctor to see she's not going to make it. Sure enough, just as Recon reached the hospital...



I suppose I will have my chance to play god after all.


It took a while, and I had to stop telling them to dump all of the clothing, but finally someone took the hint. Imic, our doctor, solumnly brought Elpho's body over to the ghoulification chamber. Recon looked on disapproving, but said nothing. Part of me wanted to pick a fight with her, but I said nothing. What was there even to say at this point?

"Welcome back."

[fatcat__25]

That was wild, and unexpected. Oh well.

[King Zultan]

ZultanKing observes this happen, casually convicts her of one count of disorderly conduct, and then bites her fucking throat out.

WHAT THE FUCK ZULTANKING.

Zultanking then punches her in the wound for good measure, causing poor Elpho's throat to explode in gore.

I REPEAT, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ZULTANKING.

Sounds like I might be taking the whole Stalking Justice thing to far, and have turned into a villain that stalks criminals then murders them.

[Salmeuk]

She also thanked me for teaching her how to swim. I did not know how to respond to that.

lol this was brilliant. Wow, the gods of plot hooks certainly smiled on you this round, eh? A disturbing murder-resurrection plot is foiled in the first act, and after a slow, administrative middle portion, the ex-victim falls to the pressure of stress, and attempts to brutalize perhaps the cutest animal known to dwarfkind. The bunny experienced emotional shock for godssake! A hero from the shadows, ZultanKing, refuses to watch this happen and administers some RIGHT, PROPER, Dwarven Justice, in a most efficient manner.

Days later, the deceased's body is returned to the resurrection chamber, minus the throat, and the dark magician looks on. .

[recon1o6]

ha ha! smallhands is the story that just keeps delivering.

So does zultan- delivering beatings to the neck. Or bites...by Armok that was brutal. Zultan may have gotten the severity of the punishments the wrong way round. its Beating-jail-execution, not execution-jail-beating. Granted its only listed as 1-2-3 in order of severity. It doesn't say which way round the severity is

Elpho is such an elf she started a fist fight with a poor rabbit. I hope the rabbit is ok.

Even though Recon utterly hates Elpho's guts for being such an elf, and is never quite as egotistical in the face of her unintented consequences. (it was the safest decision given it was 44.07) she still tried to talk down Dastot. Elpho would have cause to be indebtored or at least grateful were she not a ghoul. Its also very in character for the dungeon master to sweep the discussion under the rug.

naturally, the fight was finished because of dwarven nature forgetting to label the levers, brilliant.


9/10 story telling. That missing 1 is point deducted for the slight blip in that Recon has seen emotional ghouls before. There was one that gave a riveting performance in her tavern!

[Radiofort]

What an amazing turn! And a writing too! Really cool, QuQuasar.
I have a feeling this fortress is turning slowly into some sort of PhD thesis in Black Arts.

----
Hearing some hassle outside, Radiofort turned from his furnace and saw Alath leading someone down the glass factory. At first he thought it was one of Siege Beakers checking public order, but the sound newcomer's mail shirt made weren't of steel, but of copper. He covered his eyes with sweaty palm, trying to eye the strangely rigid figure.

- Elpho?

- Once, - murmured Alath, releasing her hand. - A bitch queen sent her to learn glassmaking under us.

- How did that happen?

- Have no freaking idea. Heard some news about livestock's harassment, though.

- What, again? I mean, no! Look at her throat, it looks like she was ski... i-i-i ba bop ba dop pop.

- What?

- What do you mean 'what'?

- What the frag you just blabbered again?

- Ski ba bop ba dop pop is ski ba bop ba dop pop, what's yer problem, f'lah?

- Oi, screw you! Just show her the basics and stop jigging on my brain, - Alath gave Elpho a little push towards Radiofort and walked away. - Sometimes you really piss me off, you know.

Former overseer eyed closely his even-more-former-now colleague. She stared at the furnace with a blank expression on pale face, her lips strained into flat line and eyes faintly glowing with eyes blue. No solid brain were needed to understand what happened with here. He saw that look before - and quite recently, to be correct.

- Know a thing about glassmaking? - he asked finally.

Elpho blinked slowly.

- Here to make glass, - she answered monotonely. - Here to make fancy things.

- Fancy, shmancy, dear Nancy, - Radiofort sighed, - Alright, then raw glass making is up to you. Try not to mess the sand mash up.

- I'll make a lot of raw glass, - something in her voice disturbed him. - I'll make a lot of beautiful things.

- Yeah, sure, now get to work, lassy. The job won't do itself.

- I'll make all the job. All the job will be made good. Very good.

Janitor's brows frowned. Elpho's face, blisterigly red in a light of glowing magma, was still blank and emotionless, but the tempo of her speech were gradually becoming faster and faster. Multiple drops slided down on her cheeks. It couldn't possibly be a tears, of course. It couldn't be even a sweat from the magma heat, as ghouls are not crying, nor they sweating.

Could it be... water? Radiofort narrowed his eyes. By the Armok, it was. A whole Elpho's body was damp to the last thread. But why? No, it couldn't be that, Quasar would not do it! Too early, too... unneccessary! There was still many ways to deal with Elpho, damn, at this point it should be anything but that!

His eyes darted into the corner, where stood his broom. Two days ago he privately asked fort's jewelers to adorn the shaft with a green glass spikes. Very sharp srikes, actually, so now from certain corner the besom now looked like a quarterstaff. Of course, this was simple for a better look. Of course. Yes...

- Are you okay, Elpho? - he himself feeled how stupid that remark was.

- I will make glass. I'll be a good girl. I'll be a hardworker. I will work hard. I won't be a nuisance. I won't harm any rabbits. I'll be a good girl. The Queen will be happy. I'll be a good girl, Elpho will be a good girl, Elpho is a good girl, no more pain for Elpho, no hurt Elpho, no bites, no water, no water, no more no more no more no more no more nonononononooooooo!..

The liquid brain of Radiofort was good at two things: stress handling and reaction speed. He managed to grab a newborn ghoul a second before she was ready to collapse right into blazing furnace. By Armok's lungs, the desicion to train in army was a good one: Elpho's body bursted out in swift unconcious movements, as if she tried to swim and push someone away at the same time. Janitor dragged her into the corner and held fast in a tight embrace, swearing like crazy on her elbows and knees plowing him. After initial outburst, Elpho suddenly went limp in his hands. Her high-pitched scream turned into weak whimpers, then into a mute whisper. In a strange inspiration, Radiofort started to lightly shake her body left and right, as if he tried to comfort a crying toddler.

For a few minutes factory stayed silent.

- ...Feelin' easier now, girl?

- ...Yeah. Thank you.

- 'R welcome, lass. But still no mead for ya, got it?

- Why?

- 'Cause you don't need it now, that's why, and 'cause I'm a cold-hearted bastard who likes to slave his pupils to death, not to mention that I don't have any mead here. Now gidyap and look how the crap's done. The work relieves, ya know.

[delphonso]

Spoiler: Deler Cogthikut (click to show/hide)

[recon1o6]

Spoiler: Deler Cogthikut (click to show/hide)

your image aint working

[delphonso]

Should be better now.

I wonder how this ghoulification will effect Elpho's poetry.

[QuQuasar]

Before we go any further, I would like to draw your attention to the smug bunny.



That is all.


With Elpho's enghoulification, our stress problems are all but negated. Urist still has 25 days in his sentence, during which time he will continue to gradually forget the sensation of feeling things, and the only other dwarf of concern is Morul. Her stress levels are okay for now, but are gradually rising.



She recently became a nervous wreck due to that miscarriage of justice I keep hearing about, which is most likely the culprit behind her beginning the descent into madness.



I am adopting the same approach with her as we did with Elpho. Whether it works will be up to her. And Zultanking. Please don't bite this one's throat out, ZK.




Winter.


Dumping of non-standard clothing items continues. All dwarves of Smallhands are ordered to wear nothing but their armour to prevent anybody from trying to smuggle contraband loincloths' past the due date.



I've also ordered some steel weaponry from Avuz, our mayor and legendary weaponsmith. Even average steel weapons would be better than the bronze and silver I'm seeing people carrying.


Finally. I was beginning to wonder whether the outpost liason was ever going to meet with the Duke at all, after I went to all that trouble to rescue her from the goo forest.

OOC: I think what happened is that Urist the tantruming ghoul reserved a meeting with the mayor before being locked up, and nobody else could meet with her until Urist was released. So we didn't get the Outpost Liason meeting until winter.






Yes, let's.



Dimplesteal remains a pus-filled boil on the arse of the world, then. I would have us destroy it, but we shall need steel and leather for that...



Your selection of flux stones and ores disappoints. At least you have marble, I suppose. And leather. We are going to need a steady supply of that for our uniforms.



Meat blocks and figurines. Yeah, sure. Look, we've got shoes and murderdiscs, do you want them or not?



Bye.


Elpho's mind has not yet fully returned from death, and her throat is a horrifying sight to look at, a terrible gaping wound. But she remains focused enough of the tasks that were given to her: the smelting, cutting and encrusting of green glass gems. I couldn't stop her even if I wanted to, not until her mind returns to her and she petitions for citizenship again.



She had no skill at gemcutting before, and now she never will, but in life she liked gems. Perhaps this fate would have made her happy on some level.



As I watch her, work, I contemplate the nature of...

[distant shouting]

... oh what now?



An enemy lasher?! On the forge deck? How on earth did this happen?




He's babbling something about having been released from confinement. I don't understand, I never ordered anyone pitted. Sabotage? Betrayal?! WHO DARES QUESTION MY AUTHORITY?!

For the moment, I order a pile-on. Every dwarf of Smallhands will converge on that location with whatever weapon they have to hand.



The two dwarves present are Tun Tunagsal, Captain of the swamp hunters, and Sakzul Kiroltar, a legendary metalsmith that, quite frankly, we should be giving more work. The former has a crossbow, the latter a bronze battleaxe.

Tun fires two copper bolts as the lasher closes the gap. Fortunately, just as the lasher reaches her, Sakzul comes up behind him swinging wildly. She has zero training with the weapon, but the distraction allows Tun to put a few more bolts into the enemy.



Metal boots echo through the fortress as everyone strives to get down there. The forge deck could be considered the lowest 'main' floor of the fortress, not including the outposts at the caverns and the magma levels.



Sakzul and the lasher continue to struggle while Tun pours bolts in from a few steps back. Sakzul is doing astonishingly well for someone with zero combat skills, parrying and deflecting with her axe, but she is outmatched. Luckily, the blows that are landing so far are all shield bashes, and nothing from that damn whip.



One of Tun's bolts pierces the enemies chain leggings, causing him to fall over, and Sakzul presses the advantage.



A third member of the fortress, Momuz Dastotkadol, arrives. A dabbling speardwarf, Momuz isn't the best reinforcements, but it would be better if an unskilled dwarf like him were to take the blows than someone important like Sakzul.

Unfortunately, just as Momuz get's close, there is an explosion of blood and teeth. Sakzul was hit in the teeth with that copper shield.



Thankfully, she's not the one in worst condition. Tun got her opponent in the stomach with a bolt, tearing his guts. With that, Sakzul has him. As Morul starts awkwardly stabbing at whatever body parts he can reach, the enraged metalsmith bites down hard on his armour-clad hand. Mere goblin iron is no match for dwarven jaw pressure, and the lashers hand is crushed between Sakzul's teeth as she begins shaking him about like a rag doll.



The enemy gives into pain, and Sakzul finishes the job with her axe.




Okay, that's over. Sakzul goes to the hospital to get the wound on her head looked at, and I return to watching over Elpho.



Like I said, she has no skill at gemcutting, and as a ghoul she is utterly incapable of...

... wait a second...

... these gems. The cut. The lustre. It's... it's better.




OOC: I misread the wiki! It says they can't "gain or rust physical attributes": nothing about skills! Ghouls can still learn!

[QuQuasar]

Once we established a lack of beak dogs, we brought in the wood cut from the goo swamp.



Necromancer Spriggans shouted something incomprehensible from his tower at the haulers, who ignored him. The mission was completed with minimal fuss, and the swamp was closed up again. Wood hauling is once again disabled in favor of continuing the eternal clothes dump.


Population control measures have been initiated.



[/img]


OH FOR FUCKS SAKE, AGAIN?

NOBODY SHOULD BE TAKING THE PRISONERS ANYWHERE.



This is purposeful sabotage, that's what it is. You people are determined to get yourselves killed to hurt my reputation as lich queen.

Just... go and kill it. Please.


Nezclaw is first on the scene. While the spear goblin is quite capable of perforating a defenseless engraver, he won't last long against a trained Siege Breaker. Sure enough, no sooner does Nezclaw arrive as does the goblin lose his spear and the hand holding it.



Yes, Nezclaw. Wreak havok upon those who dare stand against us.

Recon arrives moments later, and the already unfair fight becomes even moreso.



The goblin loses his other hand and recon delivers the final blow, a powerful shield bash on the goblin's abdomen that causes it's stomach to collapse.



It's over. Now we just have to see if Ducim can be sav- and she's dead. Nevermind then. Hehehehe. Fuck.

Fuck! And the dumping of non-standard clothing is still ongoing! Hahahahah, do these idiots have any idea how much paperwork it takes to suspend the dumping process in order to get their dumb asses revived? Aaaaargh! I'm tempted to just say "fuck 'it" and leave 'em dead. That'd teach 'em. Aaaaahahaahahahah!

But... heeheehee... Hold it together, Dastot. You need to hold it together. Gotta... hahaha... help... hahahahah... the dead... aaaaahahahahahah!


OOC: Okay, seriously, why are they pitting goblins?! No prisoners are are assigned to the pit they're taking them to. Is it a dumping thing? Perhaps because their cages are marked for melting? Argh! Help!

[Salmeuk]

Hmmm. AFAIK there is no way an infilitrator or spy can release cages, so we can rule out foul play. I don't believe we have any chickens, do we? So we can also rule out fowl play. I would search around and un-designate any dump zones you find, and the forbid-unforbid, melt-unmelt all the cages w/ invaders inside. Maybe that will do it?

..

We don't have gremlins, do we? Only ever seen them once before, and they are fast and will pull every lever in your fortress, if you let them.