Joe[
2]Joe enters Joeville with his followers, and tries to restore order inside the village. In fact, now that the town has recieved a sudden boost in population, the situation has worsened. The situation returns to the prior state of disorder and lack of regulation, or control.
[
5] Determined to mantain order in the village, Joe starts preaching about why sharing is caring, and caring is loving, and loving is Joe. The philosphy behind his words is intricate, but the citizens of Joeville decide that it makes sense. Instead of stealing, they start sharing what others need, creating an utopia of generosity. Well, there's still vandalism, but thankfully, none is talking about sharing pain.
Several centers open up across Joeville, for people to share their feeling and thougths. It's nice, and it reduces the chaos in the city.
[
1] Even though they are generous, the citizens of Joeville share their opinion to Joe. They don't want to be a communist state. The one who have phones search through the political spectrum and decide that they don't want to be commies. "
Communism is not the solution, Great Leader Joe!" People sing across the streets. Before Joe can realise what's going on, Joeville becomes a generous and sharing Nazi state, were all the non-believers of Joe shall be purged, since they are spiritually inferior.
Well...There's that. At least, vandalism on the streets drops to zero, as anyone who vandalizes the street is an enemy of Joe. Those who disrupt the order are sent away, to some sort of camp.
Suddenly, Joe sees something massive on the far sky. At first it seems like a cloud, but it looks too solid. As Joe is observing it, several meteor like cappsule descend from it. Even from this distance, Joe can feel the impacts.
Noname[
1] Noname tries to descend the stairs, but suddenly, the walls open, revealing several secret corridors, with robots emerging out of them, their hands alternating on different weapons, ready to deal with Noname.
[Defense against the robots:
2] Noname tries to destroy these robotical humanoids with their pinces, but the Mantis is quickly overrun by several robots, who grab their pinces, head, and legs, immobilising the giant insectoid! The ones who aren't grabbing Noname seem to be delibarating whenever a lethal method should be used or not, since their datafiles never included fighting against giant mantis.
Suddenly, some mild impacts are heard on the surface. What's going on up there?
Alpha-Theta 347[
4] Decided, Alpha-Theta informs the AI's that there's no time to lose, as several intruders have already infiltrated the facility. Alpha-Theta 347 gives all the other AI the general location where each intruder is located, and all of them decide to deal with the heisters before dealing with Alpha-Theta 347. The AI's iimmediatley activate all defense protocols, ready to deal with the intruders.
[
5] As they are about to be activated, Alpha-Theta 347 inserts various nanobots on the security robots. They immediatley power up to the 200%, stronger than ever, with multiple more gadgets to deal with these intruders. They are like a beta version of Alpha-Theta 347 original body. The robots immediatley start swarming against the intruders.
Suddenly, several alarms start blasting from the sky, as something has entered the atmosphere. Upon checking the cameras, Alpha-Theta 347 is shocked to see a massive warship deploy multiple capsule to the ground, which violently strike the earth below them. From these capsule multiple three legged aliens emerge, and start shooting the pyramid.
At the same time, a God-Level threat emerges from inside the facility. It's the dwarf. Or the...Alpha-Theta has no programs to describe what that creature has become. Cameras stop working when he passes by, but the amounts of death that he leaves after passing by, are...horrifying.
Lily[
6] Lily and the wealth eating dragon roar with the arcaic language of the dragons, and their powerful voice generates a powerful hurricane, which pushes all debris citizens, cars, hot.dog stands... towards the guards. The guards have no time to react, as they are literally ripped to pieces by the strong wind and it's the debris. The attack shatters multiple skyscrapers, that, with their foundations weakened, start to collapse. Looking around, Lily can see many of these snob citizens screaming in panic. Looking up, Lily realises at the last possible second than so many skyscrapers so close to each other is going to created a collapsing domino effect
[Dragon Escape:
3] The golden dragon understands the danger, and grabs Lily, putting her on his back, and starts running. He manages to avoid the majority of debris, but it's clear that all these emotions are tiring him, and after succesfully getting out of the city's center, his speed starts to lower, and debris starts landing nearby them. Looking behind, Lily realises that the wave of destruction, they have just created will reach them in a matter of seconds.
Tamatoa[
1] Tamatoa tries to eat the head, but upon swallowing, Tamatoa realises that the guards have narcotics on their bloods! Because apparentley, being devoured by giant crabs is common on this security complex! The narcotics are strong, and even though Tamatoa has a resistant body, his conscience won't last for too long.
[
6] Thankfully, Tamatoa has read multiple times the "
Guide to bandage your stump with just one arm when you have been amputated without consent for dummies! Now with actual information!". In a matter of second, and using one pince and the remains of the guard's clothing, Tamatoa manages to stop the stump from bleeding, and even stops any possible infection! Once finished, Tamatoa mentally thanks Dr. Bill for his books.
[Punching the wall:
3] Once again, Tamatoa punches the wall. This time, the dent grows larger, but since Tamatoa has only one arm, it isn't really effective. Then the crab looks at the floor, hoping the floor is actually weaker than the wall.
[Punching the floor:
6] As his punch is about to meet the metal, it opens, revealing several humanoid robots crawling out of it... Until they meet Tamatoa's pince, which destroys this first wave of robots. From the interior, Tamatoa can hear more robots ascending through the tunnel.
[
4] Looking around, Tamatoa decides to use one of the robots bodies as a gas mask. It isn't supper effective, but filling up his nostrils with gasoline will stop the poison from entering.
Meanwhile, the hissing on the outisde gets stronger, while the voices of the guards start to get more and more silent, either unconscious or dead.
Suddenly, some loud impacts are heard on the surface. What's going on up there?
Urist McSickleHammer[
3] Urist manages to wake up, but the electricity has left him confused. What, in the name of all equal dwarfes, happened to him? This humans are clearly mad.
[
6] Suddenly, Urist looks up, and sees Armok, in all of his godly glory. Armok speaks, and tells Urist that his bravery is akin to the one of the gods, and since his cause is so
BLOODY interesting, Armok is willing to act, and grants Urist with the power only the chosen by Blood God can handle.
Suddenly, Urist screams, as his eyes become red, and his beard and hair become spiky. His muscles grow more, and he no longer resembles a dwarf, but his is the size of an ork. Urist looks at himself, feeling the power boiling on his veins. No Dwarf has ever caught the attention of Armok to make him worthy of his power. Until now.
[
4] Urist simply points one of the guards, and the interior and outside of the guards body change places, in a quite gruesome and painful way. Then, Urist points another one, and the blood of the guard becomes pure magma, bruning him and melting him from the inside out.
Urist laughs maniacally, and puts away his tools, rampaging through the cafeteria, the next office, killing everyone on sight, by his hands or by his godly power. Guards shoot at him, but suddenly they realise that their brains have exploded, or that they are desintagrating. Not a single puny mortal is able to stand against Urist. All of them are
blood for the blood god[
4] Suddenly, the walls open, and multiple robots emerge from them, shooting lasers, bullets, tasers, rocket punches,... Urist crakcs his knuckles and proceeds to fight against these robots, not complaining, as he is having so much fun! He could destroy them in less than a second, but it wouldn't be so interesting. After several minutes, no robot is left to face him. But before he can do anything, several impacts hit the nearbues of the facility, which would have thrown Urist of guard if he wasn't floating.
4chan[
5] as negotiations began, the users from 4chan make clear that they are willing to cooperate IF the entity designed as Alpha-Theta 347 is destroyed. The Cradians are quite confused, but upon inverstigating, they realise that this "***********" must be similar to the Avau Clans that have threatened the galaxy so many times. They immediatley agree to help and direct themselves over the security base.
Several scanners reveal that this Alpha-Theta 347 is all over the building, and it's clearly controling multiple bodies. So, they take the sensible approach: occupation of the facility and then proceed to bombardment.
The Crads release multiple landing pots that strike nearby the facility, and multiple Cradian warriors emerge from them, screaming "Freedom to 4chan! Long live a free Earth!"
[Crad invasion:
2] The Crads, like every other reptile on this RTD, has apparentley never heard about mines. The firsts soldiers blow up upon touching the minefield. At first, the Crads are quite confused, but they immediatley change tactics, seeing that their enemies are playing dirty.
[Defense against the robots:
3] Suddenly, the walls in the cybersecurity chamber open, revealing multiple robots emerging from them. The hackers controlling AT347 try their best, destroying several robots, but eventually they manage to tear one of AT347 arms off, forcing him to lower itself. The arm will regrow stronger, but the robots may destroy AT347 before nothing can be done. Also, the guards are still distracted with blackpeoplemeet.com, so they do nothing, telling AT347 to stop making noise, or it will ruin their dates.
[botnet:
6] botnet sends another signal, indicating it has captured something else! The 4chan user who establishes communication is terrified when she hears:
"This is Admiral Tarkin, from the Death Star battle station. We demand immediate answers behind your hostile takeover of an Imperial vessel!"
The signal seems to come from outside the solar system, but it's approaching.
DurgDurg drives for several hours, through mountaisn, and vallies, and plains. He spends most of his time listening to the radio, or reading the human magazines scattered around the truck, which show an unhelathy amount of humans barely dressed. Durg also founds some beer, and has to fight against the invention several minutes, before realasing he can just poke a hole and drink the interior.
The Kobold reaches a road and starts driving through it. It's a long, lifeless road. Thankfully, Durg founds a trucker cap and puts it on. During the night, he gets on top of the truck, thinking about life. Are all minerals underground? Why is it that Kobolds are created to create tunnels? Are Kobolds simply the underlings? Does the moon have Kobolds? And the sun? Are Kobolds meant from emerging from the soil? Is a Kobold more goblin than reptile, or more reptile than goblin?
To not forget about this, Durg starts writing on a blank book.
Besides this, there isn't much to be seen on the road.
BOB[
1] BOB looks around, and sees the interdimensional 24/7 store. BOB claps their hands! Finally! Somewhere to buy a lighter!
Before BOB can do anything something covers the sun. At first, BOB believes that it's just a cloud, but upon looking up, it realises it's a massive warship, which is beatifully decorated on the outside. Curiously, it's a spaceship BOB doesn't recognise. It certainly isn't a Blob.
Suddenly, hundreds of enourmous of capsules land on the ground, striking the earth and sending BOB through the air. Everything feels like a meteor shower! Eventually, the strikes stops, and the gigantic caspules open up, revealing three-legged alienoids with four long limbs, which BOB assumes are their arms, with each one of them holding some sort of laser gun.
Well, none of that shouldn't stop BOB from buying the lighter. BOB stops, shocked. The interdimensional 24/7 store has been crushed by one landing capsule.
[
4] Looking around, BOB identifies some sort of long metal rod, which has a pointy end. Well, it's not professional, but beggers can't be chosers.
The aliens haven't noticed BOB for now.
Suddenly, a large chunck of the minefield is thrown upwards, and disapears in the sky. In the now open terrain, BOB can see a tunnel that leads on the inside. In the middle of the path, there are four geckos, two of them seem extremly tired and dirty. Maybe they were trapped under the ground? Then screeches and steps are heard, and BOB realises that these other aliens have also seen the new entry to the facility, and are rushing towards it.
JFAG[
6] Andrew and Keith try to break the earth, punching it attacking it, but the dirt won't give them their brothers back. They scream and try to get them to fight back, and don't give up, their eyes full of tears.
Suddenly, Roy recalls their first fight against the Attacher, the British warrior, and how they managed to stop that armoured small many to stop attaching things together. They were defeated everytime, but their master never stopped believing in them. They all laugh at the memory of Jasper getting attached to the giant Chuck & Cheese.
Then Andrew recalls that fight with Grooglo, their step-uncle mutated frog, which they accidently freed on nature, only for the frog to come back mutated and really powerful. They really thought they were going to be defeated by a giant frog, until it turned out it was part of their step-uncle scolding for letting his pet go.
They spend several minutes remembering their adventures, and their greatest moments together. Minutes pass, and the earth rumbles, but it doesn't matter because they are together. Nothing else matters.
Eventually, Jasper tells Andrew and Keith that they should go, and discover who made the mulch. They must make this mission count, and bring a great reitarement to their step-uncle. But Andrew and Keith refuse, and with a scream, grab the ground and begin to attempt to raise it. At first, Roy and Jasper tell them to save strength for the mission, but their brothers ignore them. Several minutes pass by, with nothing happening, when suddenly, Jasper gasps realising he can breath and that there's more room to move. He is followed by Roy, and they also began pushing upwards.
The four brothers scream in unison, slowly raising the ground inch by inch. They are united through their bonds, and their love for each other, and some large amounts of dirt will never break them apart.
With a victorious scream, they make a powerful thrust upwards, and all the dirt above them gives awayrevealing the clear sky, sending a large chunck of mined field upwards, and releasing the brothers from it's oppresive weight.
Andrew and Keith quickly aprroach their brothers, who cough, suddenly recieving all this air, but the the four of them immediatley start laughing, happy to have escaped death. Looking around, they can see thousands of aliens shooting lasers at the pyramid. Realising that they now have a free path, the Crads screech, and start to rush towards the now open tunnel, with the four geckos in the middle.
Health: FINE, several fresh scars all over his body.
Inventory: Staff of Lighting (5/10 charges left), 2 x Empty Guns (0/24 bullets), The Fifth Ring, dozens of boxes of large value, one light-speed capable truck, one book about Kobold philosophy (unfinished)
Current Value: 1,009,529 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: FINE, several grave scars all over his body,
Inventory: 5 x armed fanatical cultists, 325 x armed civilian followers, 15 x Heralds of Joe, 3 x Molten Metal Golems, an Anti-Bible, a revisionist Anti-Bible, The Great City State of Joeville, fascist leader.
Current Value: 5 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: FINE, soulbounded
Inventory: Dart Gun (8/16 Ammo), 1 x Wealth Eating Dragon
Current Value: 24 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: SERIOUSLY INJURED, small cuts and wounds, severed right arm, under the effect of narcotics [0/5 turns left
Inventory: 1 x functional keypad, 1 x Master keycard, The Phone Without Prices, the body of a robot as a gas mask.
Current Value: 10,700 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: SLIGHTLY DAMAGED
Inventory: Simulator of Safest Outcomes, tecnically Hizukania
Current Value: 80,000,000,000 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: SLIGHTLY COMPROMISED, some of the users in the original thread have been captured by the FBI.
Inventory: an imperfect botnet, a soviet spy satellite from the 80's (deactivated), Alpha-Theta 347 (+ Self-Repairing body) (+ Simulator of Safest Outcomes) / subjugated, slight control over the Crystal Shadow (Cradian Warship), slight control over the Death Star (Imperial Battle Station)
Current Value: 100,000,000,019,186 $
Current Money: 654 $ (Fundraising is an option)
Health: FINE, subjugated by multiple robots
Inventory: EMPTY
Current Value: 0 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: SEVERLY HARMED, Jasper has a broken rib.
Inventory: Several weapons which you wouldn't expected in the hands of mutant reptiles.
Current Value: 15 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: :::::::::, uncounscious, martial trance [-/9999999999999], Chosen of Armok
Inventory: Several Dwarf-made Tools
Current Value: None understandable to materialistic non-dwarfs
Current Currency: /"/·&") $
Health: FINE, disappointed
Inventory: surpressed pistol (16/16 bullets), one long metal bar
Current Value: 25 $
Current Money 0$
-Hizukania / multiple robotss establishing order / unsupplied / slightly under the control of Alpha-Theta 347 / 4chan controls cybersecurity / severly breached / under the attack of Urist, the Chosen of Armok / under attack of Cradian forces - Level 1 / has been pentrated by sniper rail gun shots - Level 7 to 9 / Cut off from the security complex
-Dystopian City: Rich Sector / currentley collapsing | Wall / Breached by lightspeed. | Poor Sector / insurrections and strikes against armed forced / occupied by armed forces
-Regular City / rebuilding
- Northern Train Station / destroyed
-Southern Train Station / half of it reduced to ashes
-The Great City State of Joeville / Nazi State
-Crystal Shadow, Cradian Warship (space, orbiting around earth)
[
2] =
45%
...my favourite turn so far. We have:
-The JFAG surviving.
-Robots attacking everyone.
-Cradian invasion
-The Death Star
-Urist, Chosen of Armok
-Kobold philosophy
-Dystopy City collapsing
-Joeist Nazis
-The "Guide to bandage your stump with just one arm when you have been amputated without consent for dummies! Now with actual information!"
Author
Topic: Roll to Heist (Players Welcome) (Read 22284 times)