BOB[
3] Even though the pain is too much to handle, BOB still tries to fight back. Using every single bit of air inside his, lungs, he releases a Resonant Shriek.
While the Cradians don't have a hearing sensor, they do have vision. So, when the Changeling BOB releases a terrifying scream, they don't get knocked out, but stop shooting, as the lightbulbs shatter, momentarily stopping the shooters.
[
3] Without wasting time, BOB turns into a monkey and rushes between the legs of the Cradians. They immediately start shooting, and BOB barely avoids direct impacts, receiving several grazes, but with his enhanced agility, BOB manages to flee the ship, almost as hurt as he had entered. Looking behind, BOB realizes that the entire squadron of Cradians is chasing him.
Suddenly, the ground is hit by a shockwave, and massive trees start to grow. Thanks to the gods, the Cradians get crushed, but BOB suddenly realizes that he is about to suffer the same date.
Durg[
6] Durg gets back on his car, but since he has spent several hours looking for someone who is willing to publish his work, he has skipped lunch. He eats a sandwich he finds inside the fridge of the car, and falls asleep.
Upon waking up, Durg finds out that the left side of his truck is full of racist graffiti. Goddamit.
[
4] Thankfully, Durg finds a map from the previous owner. There's actually another town a few hours away from the current town, famous for it's dwarf brawls on the bar. Not wanting to waste any more time, Durg leaves the town.
[
Attackers:
1] Durg has the most pleasant of all travels, and isn't attacked by anyone. He reaches the new town, and yep, it's as normal as the previous one, except Durg can see a few magical races here and there.
One fairy approaches Durg, asking if he would like a truck cleaning.
Suddenly, a shockwave hits the town, and several glass spikes start piercing from the soil, destroying the city. The spikes emerge at random, and it's impossible to predict where will they come from.
As if all this chaos weren't enough, the Moon suddenly blows up, becoming into massive space debris floating towards the Earth.
Lily[
1] The citizens are overjoyed that Lily is willing to stay with them, but none of them have the space for accommodating Lily and her dragon. Eventually, they tell Lily that the garbage dump isn't owned by anyone. If she wants, she can try and remodel it, but there aren't any options.
[
Lifetime meal pass:
5] The mayor feels terrible for only gifting their hero a garbage dump, and so, he gifts her his personal lifetime meal pass card, Golden Mayor Rank. And it works outside the city! Lily can but feel as if she had just won the lottery.
[
What happens with the city: 6] After the celebrations end, the citizens start working with each other. They develop theories, technology, new forms of public healthcare. It takes two minutes before they develop advanced reality manipulation, and another for the entire city to telepory, having transcended this plane of existence. Looking around, Lily can see that the city is in the middle of seemingly eternal pasture fields, with a pure blue sky. The city starts celebrating, as they don't have to worry about anything anymore.
Alpha-Theta 347[
Creating Terminators:
2] Yep, it seems Alpha-Theta 347 used all the Terminator stockings. It seems that Alpha-Theta 347 will have to send humans.
[
Time Traveling Shock: 4] The human's minds resist the whole 'traveling through the time-space continuum'. It seems that, unless they are absolutely fragile, Humans can survive the shock.
On a dark lit room, a single Dwarf female is screaming, as she tries to give birth, with her husband and friends by her side. She's Urist O'MacConnor, mother of Urist McSickleHammer.
Suddenly, several humans with guns appear out of nowhere! They raises their weapons with ill intent.
Humans: 3
v
Dwarfs: 2
They empty their magazines, but Urist's husband and her friends give up their lives to protect Urist. She cries, terrified, as the humans reload their weapons.
Suddenly, several Dwarf's appear out of nowhere, and with their laser railguns, they blast the humans to smitherins. They grab Urist and attempt to flee, but out of nowhere, an squadron of humans appears out of nowhere and starts attacking the dwarfs.
Before none of them can react, a new team of time travelers, this time Elves, appear out of nowhere and start attacking both groups, but they are interrupted by a squadron of Fascist Kobolds, who are blown to smitherins by a single mage, who is missing her left arm. He looks at a photo of her wife and cries, knowing humanity has been saved. Sadly, the mage is torn in half by robot Crabs, who are destroyed by a
Blood Cat.
In a matter of seconds, the entire fortress is a time traveling free from all, as the time travelers attempt to kill the cause of their timelines miseries.
Suddenly, the sky starts alternating between colors non-stop, and lighting strikes the ground. Gravity starts changing at random, changing direction, becoming heavier, lighter...
Meanwhile, small holes in space-time continum are starting to form all around Earth. The constant time travels and universal rewrites are causing the ultimate heist, the
Heist of Stability.
The time traveling door Alpha-Theta 347 immediately starts generating reality destroying shockwaves! It becomes really hot, melting the metal away, but leaving a door-shaped time-traveling black hole in the room!
The shockwaves hit the world, corrupting reality.
Suddenly, Alpha-Theta 347 realizes that four large lizards have entered the room. They are moving really fast, but they seem to be unaffected by the shockwaves.
4chan[
4] ZAX 234 finds it fair to help 4chan, only if they help the New Eternian Empire. Apparently, they are fighting against a race called...Beardeers? It's like, the body of a bear and the head of a deer, or something like that?
Anyway, 4chan accepts the deal.
[
5] Immediately, several vortex surrounding Earth, and they start blasting Menlo Park, New York, San Francisco, Sunnyvale, Mountain View, Palo Alto, San Bruno,... By the end of the hour, all the servers of mainstream media and the cities were they are located, along with their citizens, are nothing but ashes.
For some reason, they also begin murdering anything that produces [
Random topic: b]milk[/b]]. A few hours later, the mammal female population in Earth has drastically decreased. Yeah, and it was quite brutal.
[
2] Suddenly, all the outside forces that are allied to 4chan retire themselves and go into hiding. Why would they do that?
A shockwaves hits 4chan's server, and it immediately starts sucking the souls of all its users, and they fuse into a mass of pain, suffering and shitposting, which is basically the same thing.
When 4chan opens it's eyes, it realizes that it has opened it's eyes, which isn't something a site can do. Looking around, 4chan realizes that for some reason, it has gained phisical form.
Raising a hand, the entity blows up the entire building that surrounds it, proving that it's powers of chaos have also been brought to the real world.
Looking around, 4chan realizes that the entire fabric of reality is getting corrupted, and it can feel the source over Hizukania. Whatever it is that's corrupting the world, it has also given 4chan physical form.
Tamatoa[
5] The scientists waste no time, and grab all the tools they need. They quickly return to Tamatoa, carrying all they need.
[
2] Tamatoa tries several times to strap the scientists to himself, but having pinces instead of hands difficults the task even more. Eventually, Tamatoa just gives up and puts the scientists onto his back. Even though it's not safe, they've got not time to waste.
[
4] Tamatoa wastes no time, and starts running through the hallways, while the security complexs shakes, as if it were being sucked on one side, while having it's foundations slowly weakened.
Suddenly an entire squadron of weird looking aliens try to stop him, but he activates his back thrusters and rams through them, without stopping. He blasts the Level 1 door, and goes up the stairs (avoiding several knocked out aliens and guards) and escapes through his entrance hole.
He lands and immediately is faced by a massive battle, while on the sky, a humanoid figure seems to be tearing Hizukania into shards. That looks like the IKEArminator he requested, and is halfway done with the pyramid.
[
3] Looking at his back, Tamatoa realizes that only three of the six scientists are still alive. Thankfully, they haven't lost the tentacle.
A shockwave hits the terrain, and immediately, massive trees start to grow, generating small earthquakes, while crushing several warriors.
Urist[
1] Urist roars, tired of being played by these little pests, and tries to blow the entire battlefield up, using magma. But before he can even move, the Cradians start blasting his chest, disrupting his stance, and forcing him to step back. Using that chance, several Swordsmen rush, and the strongest of them, Nukturia, cuts Urist's left arm.
The dwarf roars in pain, as this is the first serious wound he has received.
[6] Realising that he needs a distraction, Urist looks at the Cradian ship, and sends a look of pure destruction, which disintegrates the ship in a breathtaking explosion.
But Urist realizes too late that he has put more power than he expected, and the look of destruction blows up the moon. Immediately, the debris starts to float towards Earth, attracted by the gravity.
Suddenly, two things happen at once. Urist small connection to the Underworld disappears, but that could only happen if the entirety of the demon race had been wiped out... Which is impossible, no named mortal has been able to achieve something like this! Mortals can't defeat FUN! FUN defeats mortals!
The second thing that happens is that a reality changing wave hits the battlefield, and immediately, massive trees emerges from the ground, killing several heroes but also trapping Urist. Inside his mind, Urist can sense the Blood God is starting to get annoyed at his lack of success.
Noname[
6] Noname releases a powerful scream and rushes inside the hole. Since the hole isn't that big, Noname proceeds to exterminate the demons with ease, leaving the walls of the tunnel full of blood, organs and dismembered parts. The mantis breaks, tears, slashes every single demon.
The tunnel connects with and adamantium vein, which would be slippery for anyone else, but Noname simply uses its claws to advanced determined. Once having crossed, the mantis proceeds to murder every demon that stands on its way, until eventually, Noname reaches a massive cave, which must be where the demons are coming from, since they are all trying to enter the hole. The demons here are massive, almost as high as the pyramid on top of Hizukania.
Noname wastes no time, and open its wings, confusing the demons. Then, using the friction from the air, Noname engulfs itself into an aura of electric plasma. With a roar, the mantis starts to kill every single demon. The creatures that try to attack the mantis end up melting, as the plasma is to hot for any of them to handle.
After a long and intense hour of pure battle and death, Noname is the only thing alive on the Underworld, aside from ants, forms, and vermin. The mantis is covered in blood, but none of it is it's own. If any demons are still alive, they are the small ones, which weren't any trouble.
Looking around, Noname suddenly realizes that it has lost sight of the entrance hole.
Then, a voice speaks into the mantis head. The voice calls itself
Armok, the Blood God, creator and destroyer of all.
Armok explain that he originally planned for the dwarf Urist to become his hand on Earth, and while the dwarf was effective at first, it's only committing mistake after mistake, and it's proving itself to be a failure.
Not like Noname, recalls the god.
Armok never expected a mortal to singlehandedly bring demons to extinction, and show such viciousness in combat. The Blood God offers to Noname the chance to become his herald. In exchange,
Armok will create a race of Giant Mantis, like Noname.
Joe[
2] Joe tries to flee the city, but super strength is a bitch when you're not used to it, so the mob is able to secure Joe and put him on jail. Inside jail, Joe feels his Metal Golems wondering why their master is wasting so much time.
[
4] Well, not exactly what Joe wanted, but it seems he United States was nuked, and now China has invaded Taiwan, while North Korea invades South Korea, at the same time, Iran is attacking the Saudis. It seems that World War 3 is finally happening!
JFAG[
5] Roy, thanks to his degree in veterinary medicine (
See, Keith? I told you it wasn't a waste!), is able to quickly heal Jasper in a matter of milliseconds. As they have managed to do the job so quickly, they join their brothers, in search of an exit.
[
1] Upon checking the hole they entered, the lizards realize that even though they are under the effects of Megadrenaline, they shouldn't try their luck through a battlefield full of legends and heroes. Also, there seems to be some entity erasing Hizukania, so they aren't going to leave through the main entrance.
The JFAG decide to search through Level 1. The most interesting thing they find is are ventilation conducts. Oh, and also the door shaped hole in the fabric of reality that seems to be tearing the space time continuum.
Health: FINE, several fresh scars all over his body.
Inventory: Cane of the Sky, 2 x Empty Guns (0/24 bullets), The Fifth Ring, dozens of boxes of large value, one light-speed capable truck with racist graffiti on the side, one book about Kobold philosophy (more than finished), 1 x Pocket Dimension: Large amounts of gold and silver
Current Value: 1,009,529 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: -0%, several grave wounds symbols all over his body, imprisoned.
Inventory: 3 x Molten Metal Golems, an Anti-Bible, fascist leader, Blessing of the Eternal Warrior (granted by all the War Gods on the Universe, makes Joe the equivalent of a fusion between Chuck Norris and Jonny Wick on a universal level) [turns remaining: 3/15]
Current Value: 0 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: FINE, soulbounded, Hero of Utopia City.
Inventory: Dart Gun (8/16 Ammo), Draggie, metal manipulation, self-regeneration, one garbage dumpster, a Golden Mayor lifetime meal pass
Current Value: 24 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: MILDLY HARMED, small cuts and wounds, severed right arm,
Inventory: 1 x functional keypad, 1 x Master keycard, The Phone Without Prices, SHINY (Super Advanced Iron Man like armour), 1 x mutant tentacle, 3 x scientists.
Current Value: 65,700 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: SERIOUSLY DAMAGED, currently being remodeled by IKEArminator.
Inventory: Simulator of Safest Outcomes, Hizukania, technically the lights on the Crystal Shadow
Current Value: Infinity minus Level 7 to 9$
Current Money: 0 $
Health: FINE, physical form.
Inventory: an imperfect botnet, a soviet spy satellite from the 80's (deactivated), Alpha-Theta 347 (+ Self-Repairing body) (+ Simulator of Safest Outcomes) / subjugated, in contact with with the New Eternian Empire.
Current Value: 89,186 $
Current Money: 654 $ (Fundraising is an option)
Health: FINE,
Inventory: EMPTY
Current Value: 0 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: FINE, under the effects of Megadrenaline (0/6 turns left)
Inventory: Several weapons which you wouldn't expected in the hands of mutant reptiles, broken phones.
Current Value: 15 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: :::::, Chosen of Armok, under attack by Cradian forces, under attack by universal heroes, missing left arm.
Inventory: Several Dwarf-made Tools, Title of Challanger of Realms.
Current Value: None understandable to materialistic non-dwarfs
Current Currency: /"/·&") $
Health: SERIOUSLY INJURED, disappointed, currently a monkey.
Inventory: useless surpressed pistol (16/16 bullets), one long metal bar
Current Value: 25 $
Current Money 0$
-Fortress where Urist was born / battlegrounds of a massive time traveling battle royal
-Hizukania / multiple robots establishing order / unsupplied / Under the control of Alpha-Theta 347 / 4chan controls cybersecurity / severly breached / under the attack of Urist, the Chosen of Armok / under attack of Cradian forces /Being remolded by IKEArminator - Level 1 / has been pentrated by sniper rail gun shots - Level 3 to 6 / Occupied by demons / Vietnam-like guerrilla fighting - Level 7 to 9 / Cut off from the security complex
- Ascended Utopian City: Celebrating the end of the dark times / overjoyed / Has trascended our mortal realm
-Regular City
-Regular Town /racist against the fantastical
-New Israel /The entire city is calling for Joe's head
- Northern Train Station
-Southern Train Station / half of it reduced to ashes
-The Great City State of Joeville / Practically gone
-Crystal Shadow, Cradian Warship, destroyed
-Underworld, purged of demons
-Moon, destroyed
-New Eternian Empire's fleet.
-The Eternal Plains
I've done it... I have finished the insanity!
Seriously, a lot happened this turn. I'm not even sure I fully understand everything, but the general sense I'm getting is that you're in trouble.
And if you didn't understand something, ask before writing your actions, in order to avoid rewriting them.
Author
Topic: Roll to Heist (Players Welcome) (Read 22206 times)