Noname[
2] Noname rushes towards the tunnels, but the holes, close, causing the mantis to impact against the cold ground. The insect whimpers, but raises once more. Where did the robots go?
Suddenly, a demonic creature emerges from the hole, roaring, before being destroyed by bullets from the robots. But then a second monster appears, and a third, and slowly but surely, a swarm of demons pours from the hole in the ground.
[
Noname's defensive wings:
4] Seeing as the robots are getting overwhelmed, and the guards aren't fully recovered yet, Noname opens their coloref wings, the demons screech, distracted, and the robots and guards get their chance to reinforce the hole. It seems that these creatures, whatever they are, haven't seen so many bright colors together.
As Noname keeps distracting the creatures, the guards take of it's pincecuff, so the Mantis can help better. Also, the guards from Level 0 and 1 are coming to reinforce. Not much else is known about the rest of the levels.
Urist [
Ordering the demons:
4] For a split second, the entirety of visible demons observe Urist with a predatorial face. They are, by no means, under Urist control, and the first sign of weakness they will devour him, and feast on his essence, and Urist can but feel a chill going down his spine.
But the demons if anything, respect Urist's power and rush towards the surface.
[
Demonic Rampage:
4] While the four first floors fall easily, the demons are currently stuck at the second level, and while they have destroyed a large majority of the defenses and robots, the guards of each floor aren't entirely wiped out, and as such, they reorganize, fighting the demons in a guerrilla warfare in their respective levels.
[
5] Urist isn't specially worried, as these are the smaller demons, and the weak need to be cleansed. The herald of Armok teleports to the surface and starts chanting ancient language. In a matter of seconds, a volcano raises over the city, ready to blow up.
[
2] Urist then proceeds to grab large chunks of the terrain and throws them on the Death Star, but since it has its shields fully operational, the impacts barely do a scratch on the planet destroyer.
Suddenly, Urist has to dodge several lasers, forcing him to land on top of the Pyramid. The Cradians seem to be ready to fight this new threat. At the same time, thousands of heroes and warriors from the entire universe, and all of it's planes emerge, ready to face Urist's challenge.
Tamatoa[
4] Tamatoa proceeds to spend the next quarter of an hour crushing and decapitating robots, until eventually, they stop emerging. The crab is exhausted, but he knows there is no time to lose. He begins to build his armour.
[
6] After a few minutes, the armour is complete. It's so advanced, that Tamatoa may have skipped a few millennia of physics, so it's impossible to rebuild. Upon entering it, the inside light up, while a voice talks.
"Hello, I'm
S.H.I.N.Y., and I'm personal assistant in your superpowered armour. Would you like to play the tutorial?"
[
6] Tamatoa punches the wall, but the armour has more strength than he expected, and the pince gets stuck. In the efforts of breaking free, Tamatoa activates the laser beams on his pince. Since his legs didn't have the gravitational stabilizers activated, the beam pushes the crab through the door, into the hallway.
Looking around, the crab realizes that the guards are long dead, and it seems the poison gas can't affect Tamatoa, thanks to the armour. There's still the matter of the narcotics, though.
Joe[
1] Joe tries, threatens and orders the citizens to leave the city, but none of them are willing to obey. Either they are so fanatical that leaving the city is considered heresy, or they believe that the Ancient Gods will save them, or simply, they are scared.
[
6] Seeing the volcano about to explode, Joe prays to the gods to help him. And that's when he realizes that hundreds of war gods are observing the chaos on Earth. And all of them are interested in this desperate cult leader.
Joe suddenly receives the blessing of the Eternal Warrior, making him practically the living embodiment of Carnage. He can also summon any weapon, which will be enchanted and stronger than any other metal in existence.
[
2] But before he can even move, the volcano explodes. Joe manages to set up a barrier around him. Joe can only look in despair as Joeville is covered in magma and ashes.
Once the smoke clears, Joe looks around. Nothing is left standing. The only remains of Joeism are Joe's three metal golems who await Joe's commands.
Alpha-Theta 347[
3] The AI hasn't the resources necessary to take control of the massive spaceship, but manages to implant a slight slice of it's code on the Cradian spaceship supercomputer.
The only thing Alpha-Theta 347 can do right now is... turn on and off the lights of the ship. Still, the AI is amused with messing around with the Cradian crew.
Upon checking on the base, it becomes clear that the situation is bad. The dwarf/god-entity/whatever-that-is has breached a hole to a literal hell, which is not scientifically possible, but whatever, logic doesn't seem to exist anymore.
The crab seems to have created an Iron Man like armour, the mantis is currently working alongside the humans, and at least half of the base is full of demons. Meanwhile, the Cradian army has began attacking the dwarf, alongside thousands of individuals.
Lily[
6] Lily rushes towards the dragon, and hugs him, while the barrier collapses all around them. Both Draggie and Lily close their eyes, ready to face their end together.
Nothing happens.
Carefully, Lily opens her eyes, realizing that there's a rainbow bubble around the pair. Confused but glad to be alive, Draggie and Lily start laughing in relief, and as they laugh, the bubble expands picking up the debris.
Slowly but surely, buildings began to rebuild, while people wake up, crying in joy. Everytime the bubble guts one of citizens, their bad traits are removed, replaced with happiness.
Then, the rainbow bubble hits the walls, and disintegrates them, and proceeds to improve the Poor Districts. Eventually, it hits the train station, rebuilding it, before exploding into a beautiful beam towards the sky.
All around Lily, people laugh and dance, and as guards and poor people join the celebrations, they are welcomed without prejudice. People start chanting Lily's name.
Durg[
4] Durg gives very precise instructions to
Dukarenan, and even though their concepts of space are astronomically different, Durg's philosophical approach gives the inventor of artifacts a broad sense of direction.
[
5] "
Buying something? Well, sure, why not?"
After several minutes,
Dukarenan picks a Rubik Cube which randomizes it's colors every five minutes. It seems the man has never seen something like that before, so he buys it.
Dukarenan gives a small bag to Durg, but upon opening it, Durg realizes it contains a pocket dimension. It seems to be a large cave, with a third of the cave covered in gold and silver.
The Kobold raises his head to thank the stranger, but he is, once again gone, with the only trace of him being his footracks.
JFAG[
3] "Smoke Bomb!" Shouts Keith, and throws the object to the ground. The gas immediately blinds everyone in the room, but before the smoke clears, Jasper realizes that the Cradians haven't invented stairs, and as such, they won't look under them.
It works. It shouldn't but it works. Even though they can't open their eyes, because the smoke hit all of the brothers on their vision, they remain still. The Cradians blow up the door and enter Level 1.
[
2] Since they are currently blind, they are unable to treat Keith's foot, but he assures that his foot is okay. Not the same can be said for Jasper's broken rib, though.
BOB[
6] As BOB merely avoids the beams, some sort of giant dwarf appears on the air. After invoking a volcano, he starts to throw pieces of ground to the sky, and the ensuing debris gives BOB a lot of cover. The shapeshifter hides behind a giant rock.
[
1 He points the gun at the Cradians, but upon shooting, the gun backfires, blowing up on his face. Those damned merchants lied to him.
Thankfully, the Cradians seem to have forgotten about him and now they are attacking the dwarf, joined by thousands of strange individuals. Well, at least BOB isn't dying. Things could be much worse!
Then the volcano blows up, sending ashes and
!MAGMA! all the way to the stratosphere.
4chan[
1] The thread decides to finish all the chaos once and for all. They will destroy Earth for the lolz. Just imagine the amount of memes that will come out of this master move!
That's until the botnet sends a notification! It seems it is sending the Borg and the Death Star towards the opposite direction, and it will erase from the memory of both spaceships how to return to Earth!
In a matter of seconds both objects disapper into the darkness of space.
4chan becomes the ridicule of Internet. Reddit's normies mock them, Tumblr's SJW laugh at the ineptitude of the patriarchy, and the boomers from Facebook shake their heads. 4chan's reputation comes crashing down in a matter of minutes
Meanwhile, the botnet is stating that the free trial has ended, and now, 4chan must pay for the premium version for faster processing and enhanced programming.
Health: FINE, several fresh scars all over his body.
Inventory: Cane of the Sky, 2 x Empty Guns (0/24 bullets), The Fifth Ring, dozens of boxes of large value, one light-speed capable truck, one book about Kobold philosophy (more than finished), 1 x Pocket Dimension: Large amounts of gold and silver
Current Value: 1,009,529 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: -0%, several grave symbols all over his body,
Inventory: 3 x Molten Metal Golems, an Anti-Bible, fascist leader, Blessing of the Eternal Warrior (granted by all the War Gods on the Universe, makes Joe the equivalent of a fusion between Chuck Norris and Jonny Wick on a universal level) [turns remaining: 0/15]
Current Value: 0 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: FINE, soulbounded,
Inventory: Dart Gun (8/16 Ammo), Draggie
Current Value: 24 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: SERIOUSLY INJURED, small cuts and wounds, severed right arm, under the effect of narcotics [2/5 turns left
Inventory: 1 x functional keypad, 1 x Master keycard, The Phone Without Prices, SHINY (Super Advanced Iron Man like armour)
Current Value: 10,700 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: SERIOUSLY DAMAGED.
Inventory: Simulator of Safest Outcomes, tecnically Hizukania, technically the lights on the Crystal Shadow
Current Value: 80,000,000,000 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: SLIGHTLY COMPROMISED.
Inventory: an imperfect botnet, a soviet spy satellite from the 80's (deactivated), Alpha-Theta 347 (+ Self-Repairing body) (+ Simulator of Safest Outcomes) / subjugated, slight control over the Crystal Shadow (Cradian Warship),
Current Value: 1,000,019,186 $
Current Money: 654 $ (Fundraising is an option)
Health: FINE, defending itself against the demons.
Inventory: EMPTY
Current Value: 0 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: SEVERLY HARMED, Jasper has a broken rib, blinded ([0]/[2] turns left)
Inventory: Several weapons which you wouldn't expected in the hands of mutant reptiles.
Current Value: 15 $
Current Money: 0 $
Health: :::::::::, martial trance [-/9999999999999], Chosen of Armok, under attack by Cradian forces, under attack by universal heroes.
Inventory: Several Dwarf-made Tools, Title of Challanger of Realms.
Current Value: None understandable to materialistic non-dwarfs
Current Currency: /"/·&") $
Health: SERIOUSLY INJURED, disappointed, currently hiding.
Inventory: useless surpressed pistol (16/16 bullets), one long metal bar
Current Value: 25 $
Current Money 0$
-Hizukania / multiple robots establishing order / unsupplied / currently overrun by demons / slightly under the control of Alpha-Theta 347 / 4chan controls cybersecurity / severly breached / under the attack of Urist, the Chosen of Armok / under attack of Cradian forces - Level 1 / has been pentrated by sniper rail gun shots - Level 3 to 6 / Overrun by demons / Vietnam-like guerrilla fighting - Level 7 to 9 / Cut off from the security complex
-Utopian City: Celebrating the end of the dark times / overjoyed
-Regular City
- Northern Train Station
-Southern Train Station / half of it reduced to ashes
-The Great City State of Joeville / Practically gone
-Crystal Shadow, Cradian Warship (space, orbiting around earth) / Alpha-Theta 347 controls the lights
-Underworld.
IKEArminator Charge Progress: [
5] =
90%
Back on track! I just need to warn you, it might take a while to get used to writing once again, but over time, things should get back to normal.
By the way,
We tell him we heisted his RTD
You son of a bitch, I'm in.
This made me wheeze uncontrollably. Hope you two are proud.