So, I have started playing again after a few years away from the game (and community), and have spent the last month or so playing trying to get use to the new stress system...
It's been extremely frustrating, and even as I've gotten better at managing it, it still has made the game less fun for me than the previous major versions.
My most recent fort illustrates the issues I've had with the system pretty well...
First, I decided before embark that I was not building near the surface. Rain killed two previous surface-level fort by driving all my woodcutters, herbalists, outside farmers, hunters, etc to tantrums and depression. This is.... Honestly really not fun -- I get that rain is an unhappy thought, but being a little damp on a 'grumbles only mildly at inclament weather' dwarf shouldn't cause the same sort of emotional outbursts and depression that losing a child does. The sense of scale for bad thoughts seems severely lacking.
So, I decided to cavern dive early and exist entirely underground. No rain, no nauseated by the sun, no tantrums due to bad weather.
This worked fine, once it was all set up by winter of the 1st year -- even had a trade depot 40 Z-levels deep with a ramp-road so no one ever had to go to the surface for any reason.
This, plus setting up temples, taverns, etc. Meant the first 3 years or so went by fine: no red arrows at all in that time, and population rapidly rose to over 100. 3 forgotten beasts, and a lot of cave crocodiles, so about 7 dead in that time, but the bad thoughts from the bodies were limited to only a handful of dwarves.
Around mid year 3, i got my first red arrows. I went through individually checking off all the needs for those 3 sad dwarves, reassigned labours for them to craft, let them have time with no labours enabled to socialize, pray.... And none of it made them less miserable. One died in a cave toad related drowning later that year, one i just expeled because nothing would get her to stop tantruming. And every tantrum meant injuries, more bad thoughts, another dwarf with a recurring trauma thought. She herself felt guilty about all of it, making her more stressed. Being more stressed, she threw more tantrums, and felt more guilt. I could not outpace the stress buildup. Even taking advice of locking her in a room full of happy thought generating things, she became more miserable faster than anything I could do. So I kicked her out.
The other problem dwarf at this time I couldn't exile, because his wife was our champion (and hammerer), and he had the same issue - upset, tantrum, get more upset from guilt, repeat. Same deal -- once he had the red arrow nothing could make it go away and every tantrum made it worse, including traumatizing him with new injuries and him freaking out about the body of a dwarf he had just killed.
So, there seems to be no way to destress a stressed out dwarf. I started forcing them to meet needs and have happy thoughts months before their tantrums started. Once the red arrow started it would not go away for any dwarf, in any fort for the last month or so of play, even if I went out of my way to micromanage the unhappy dwarves and make them do things that makes them happy. If I don't micromanage it, they get sad thoughts because many of them won't go pray on their own even with no labours enabled, and removed from military if they were enlisted so they don't do individual drills instead.
But -- 3 red arrows in over 100 dwarves by end of year 3... That's not too bad -- it sucks that they are incurable because it makes me reluctant to value any individual dwarf, but 3% stressed is managable and the fort continued to thrive around them.
Until I got a goblin siege. Over 100 goblins dead, and about 5 dwarves dead, and another 4 injured.
Most of my fort is overwhelmed. Suddenly, of 181 dwarves left Alive after the siege, about 30 are red arrows. Most of which got caught in the miasma from the bodies when they were collecting them and from seeing the bodies at all.
They keep dwelling on the miasma, and thus stress out faster than pampering them can hope to fix. About a sixth of my fort is basically doomed, from one siege. Maybe I can pull some of them back from this by going through a lot of effort to make sure they're pampered for a few months, but, honestly it just makes me want to retire the fort and not bother -- it's not fun to try to drag then back from red arrow status.
But if I do, they might migrate to a new fort, and throw tantrums there because of their memories of miasma and goblin bodies... maybe I should just generate another world entirely.
Increasingly, though, I've been thinking of rolling back to a version before this system until it's been rebalanced. I've read threads here, pages on the wiki, etc. about how to manage it and it's just not fun to try, it's at best a frustrating system right now, even when everything seems to be running smoothly.
Stressed out dwarves are expected -- but, because of how rare it is for a dwarf to calm back down, a major disaster like a large siege or even something as trivial as *some rain* often leads to significant chunks of my population being basically useless within 5-10 years of embark, seemingly no matter what I do to make sure the dwarves needs are met.
Edit: to clarify, I do like the idea of this system, and some of the consequences (like being in prison making it worse), and I don't want *all* my dwarves to be happy -- it would be boring if none of them ever got stressed out or threw tantrums; my main issue with it is that it seems there is no *fun* way to prevent, or recover from, stress over the long term. Solutions feel more like working around a bug than like a strategic aspect to the game, or like something that can be mitigated without tedious managing of individual dwarves' labours, burrow assignments, military enlistment status, and so on to *force* them to do happy-thought generating tasks.
The more I play the versions since this system, the less I feel like I *can* get a handle on stress and the more it starts to feel like an inevitability that I will need to constantly expel sad dwarves and replace them with new migrants if I ever want to have a fort last long-term -- which means instead of getting to know or care about the dwarves, and having some I want to keep or get attached too, I feel like I need to be ready to expel any red arrow, no matter who they are.