Hello,
some little background info here to put things in perspective. I've been looking at DF for many years but never really dove into it to do the steep learning curve.
I then started this genre by sinking thousands of hours into Rimworld and finally started to play dwarf fortress seriously around 6 months ago or so.
I love this game, i'm still very new but i believe i have a pretty decent understanding of the game mechanics (at least most of them), so i'll try to give my noob advice here.
Lots of stress related things are unbalanced as it have already been stated many times: rain, miasma, personality changes, stacks etc... But i believe the main problem responsible
for it is that the stress system highlighted a lot of core problems within the game. The biggest one of them being: The inability to properly micro-manage anything.
Lots of people circumvent that by "hacking" around the problem, such as burrow (avoid seeing stressful stuff), outdoor butcher (avoid miasma), military squad (move) etc...
I believe one easy way to fix that would just be to add some sort of "do" submenu in unit profile menu (the one with thoughts, relationship etc...), we could then select a tile
somewhere and depending on what is there it would propose stuff this dwarf can do:
If it's a workshop -> select order to fulfill
If it's a designation -> dig / cut tree etc..
If it's a temple area -> pray
If it's a meeting area -> socialize
etc...
and if there is nothing there, the dwarf could just move there.
Those would be considered high priority task which does not end until the "job" is done, or unless the dwarf is tired / thirsty / hungry.
I believe the codebase of dwarf fortress is probably much more complicated that i imagine, but such a system seems super easy to implement to me, just a bunch of condition resulting on cancelling this dwarf's other jobs and adding this one.
If the dwarf become insane being overworked by this task then the fault is entirely on the player who forgot him. But in a case of a regular job/task, the dwarf should be able to cater to his need by himself as it have been stated by many others.
The biggest advantage of this system would be to be able to actually have something be done now, and not let this food generate miasma for 1 year because nobody care to pick it up. It would do wonder to help the player to force the dwarfs to cater to most of their need if somehow they can't fulfill them themselves. Some dwarf fortress adaptation of the "prioritize task" (right-clic) system of Rimworld. Bonus point if those tasks can be stacked!
Another important thing is the priority of jobs. We should be able to prioritize job for each dwarf. Something like a priority number from 1 to 9. Again, i think Rimworld does a nice job with that where you can set manual priorities.
I may want my cook to cook most of the time (1) but if he doesn't have anything to cook, i'd like him to brew (2) or take time off (3) for example. I could then have people having high priority on refuse/corpse hauling only when there is some, without having to manually switch labor on/off and keep track of every single dwarf.
And lastly i think a stockpile priority system would be neat as well, a dwarf would take from the relevant stockpile with the highest priority. Which would avoid them eating raw plump helmet when there is a ton of fine/lavish meal.
In addition i agree with pretty much what have been said before, i didn't elaborate on it as i have not much new to provide to the discussion. But i believe thoses mechanics i wrote would make wonders to make the stress system more manageable with the bonus effect to have improve a lot of other annoying areas of the game. And probably help new players to easily manage what's going on and correct mistakes.
Sorry for my english as it is not my first language. Thanks a lot for this amazing game an kuddos to you for asking your community for ways to help fixing broken stuff