November 2, 4:00 AMIt is dark.Its cloudy.The town the game started in has been destroyed.The Canadian kitten didn't post for the seventh time so random action.Yoink didn't post for the seventh time so random action.GandalfTheGreyt3791 didn't post for the third time so random action.Kakaluncha didn't post for the second time so random action.ziizo didn't post so random actions.Right. Just, get the fighting to stop and restore North America with my powers. Start up a proper peace treaty between everyone under my control too..
Why do I have so much trouble with super-powerful entities anyway.
And get the dinos to get the shield generators up and running, and fixed. Plus whatever other actions they are doing.
FUNK Faith should start worshiping me and granting me CABL's old powers. Given that they are now dead/absorbed..
Also combine my followers Faith and the FUNK Faith in a new church of the FUNKY CANDY FAIRY Faith. Let it be known as a new era.
If it isn't obvious, also take over all of CABL's old NPC faction actions onto me. They are dead at this point. For some reason I feel like inducing a catastrophic failure in whatever is trying to destroy the planet. Do that from afar as I work on other stuff.
(Stopping the fighting = 6) Using your powers of DIPLOMACY you manage to convince the pumpkin zombies and your dinos to stop fighting, this doesn't affect the monks that just showed up and started attacking the pumpkin zombies, but at least they aren't fighting your people anymore.
(Restoring North America = 5) You then use your magic to restore North America to back what it was before the burninator burned it.
(Start creating a proper peace treaty between everyone under your control = 1) Your not really sure where to start so you just end up staring at the paper for a bit before giving up.
(Dinos repairing and restarting shield generators = 4) It takes a bit but they somehow put the shield generators back together, despite the fact that they were blown to pieces, then they turn them back on.
(Dinos fighting the pumpkin zombies = 5) With the recent DIPLOMACY they stop fighting and go home.
(Getting the Funkists to worship you and gaining CABL's powers = 5) You've already got his powers so that part was easy, with that finished you go and use your powers you change the Funkist faith to where your the FUNKY object of their worship.
(Combining your followers faith with the Funkist faith creating the FUNKY CANDY FAIRY FAITH = 2) You spend several minutes trying to figure out how to combine the two faiths and your stumped as to how to do it.
(HAU starting to rebuild = 2) They continue to hide in their bunkers fearing the death beam in the sky.
(FSA Continuing to evac the colonies = 6) They continue to pour out of the colonies until they're empty, but a few of the boats sink on the way back.
(Middle East rebuilding = 4) They rebuild all kinds of various buildings and bits of the infrastructure.
(Causing a catastrophic failure in the Burninator = 3) You try to break the Burninator, but all your able to accomplish is move it slightly and knock its aim off and prevent it from hitting the planet.
You get reports that there is a strange looking dragon burning people in Australia.
...
"I might be dead physically, but I live on as a voice in your head. From now on, consider me your utmost trustful advisor. *ahem* My advice is to destroy that imbecile and his planet-burning murdertoy."
Advice was given!
Attempt to teleport the fortress, my followers, and I to Japan
If the spell works, try to catch animals for my followers
If it doesn’t, cast a spell to start reversing the burnt continent to a no longer burnt state
(Teleporting the fortress to Japan = 4) Using one of the many spells you've learned recently you move the entire fortress to somewhere in Japan.
(Teleporting you and your followers to Japan = 4) You then move yourself and your followers to your fortress which is also in Japan.
(Catching animals = 3) You then spend a bit chasing after some random animals, but your only able to catch a few of them as the rest run away.
Look into the boxes.
(5) You spend several minutes digging through the boxes and find several useful items, a revolver and ammo, a small shovel, a handful of doubloons, and fire helmet, everything else was a bunch of moldy old crap.
Begin Burnination at the Funky States of Australia. They're the funk-lovers with no damage after all!
(Burninating Australia = 4) You quickly fly in and start burninating all the peasants and their thatched-roofed cottages, killing hundreds in the process.
(Hitting the planet = 4-2 For magical meddling) Something messes with it and it completely misses the planet.
Keep the party going.
(5) Your people keep partying until the sun comes up, and then they party some more.
Have my revolutionaries continue to expand their groups.
(Middle East expanding = 3) They only manage to get a few more members.
(Dinosaurs in America expanding = 4) They get loads of people to join them.
With the power of booze I shall conquer the world, but first I must take over a town.
(1) You start heading towards where the town should be, but you realize your deep in the woods and you have no idea were your at.
SCREW THIS BRIDGE AND THOSE MONSTERS, THROW MY SWORD LIKE A BOOMERANG AND KILL ALL THE MONSTERS ON THE BRIDGE!
(Throwing the sword = 4) You quickly unsheathe the big ass sword and throw it like one would throw a boomerang.
(Killing the monsters = 5) The sword flies forward and kills everything in its path.
(Does the sword come back = 3) It then starts to curve around like its coming back, but then it hits one of the beams that supports the bridge and gets stuck.
Send another ship down to start a colony on the planet.
(6) They land safely but the ship ran out of fuel on the way there so they're stuck, after that realization they get to work building the colony.
NPC STUFFWell shit if we can't go to space we'll just go out and kill the hostile pumpkin zombies.
(3) They only kill a few.
(4) They kill a bunch of them.
(1) They all get killed.
Keep killing dinosaurs as they were the cause of all of this.
(3) They kill no one do to DIPLOMACY.
(4) They also kill no one do the DIPLOMACY.
(3) More deaths prevented by DIPLOMACY.
Places in space:-
Percent of Ziizo's Animal City destroyed: 0%-
Percent of The Canadian kitten's Moon DISCO BALL Base destroyed: 0%Percent of America destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Dustan Hache's fief destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Outsider's monastery destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Spacenoid base destroyed: 0%-
Percent of TricMagic's base destroyed: 0%Percent of Canada Earth destroyed 0%-
Percent of Pumpkin Hippy commune destroyed 0%Percent of Japan destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Naturegirl1999's fortress destroyed: 0%Percent of Mexico destroyed: 0%Percent of South America destroyed: 100%Percent of Europe destroyed: 100%Percent of Middle East destroyed: 38.23%Percent of The Holy African Union destroyed: 86.53%Percent of The Funky States of Australia destroyed: 14.38%Percent of Southeast Asia destroyed: 0%Percent of Oceania destroyed: 0%Percent of China destroyed: 0%Percent of Sakhalin destroyed: 0%Percent of Hawaii destroyed: 0%Yoink
Health: EVEN MORE SLIGHTLY DAMAGED / flaming pants
Inventory: loaded shotgun, a few lighters, some rolling paper, chips, candy, soda, glass bottles of beer, different kinds of chips, sword surfing skills, beer, a creature that's a follower has a handgun, first aid kit, a few rolls of bandages, sewer map, hard hat, some snacks, subway map, map of the city of Bob, one Hell-Weed joint, loads of Hell-Weed, a few shotgun shells, watch
Kakaluncha / clothing fit for the Emperor of Mankind they inspire loyalty / The Emperor of Mankind / telepathic / telekinetic / really good at UNO
Health: DEAD
Inventory: a bowl, two animated trees, Ninja Elvis costume, The Flying Guillotine, manifesto about the Cult to the Supreme Being, air plane, blood pilot, Maximilien Robespierre's ghost, Napoleon Bonaparte's ghost, knows everything about coups, knows about different propaganda, laptop, Leon Trotsky's ghost, Vladimir Lenin's ghost, know everything about revolutions, 34 ghostly Russian troops, Robespierre costume, a bunch of candy, 100 ghosts in the afterlife, some radiation as an ally, some mecha parts, more radiation friends, Comms that allow communication with North America, a bunch hyper evolved animal slaves loyal to you, several more ghost troops, knowledge on how to bring the dead back from the dead, even more mutant animals loyal to you, several ships, plan for indoctrination of children, 81,982 followers in middle east with secret base, 107,254 dinosaurs in America with secret base
Afterlife: a French puppet state, lead by distinguished puppers and Kakaluncha
Dustan Hache / knight / blessed with strength
Health: DEAD
Inventory: slightly damaged Plate armour, shield, sword, one small candy, bowl of candy, two bags of candy, even more candy, one factories worth of candy, lots of fish
Fiefdom: walls, lots of food, crops, Good moral, hunting party, water snake with arms that takes care of the crops, every one has a house, a bunch of smoked meats, some tanned hides, corps, spikes on walls
ziizo / like new again ULTRA-MEGA-ZORD made from ten zords and has nine animal pilots
Health: FINE
Inventory: road atlas, lime green hatchback with full tank of gas slightly damaged, large pipe, music CD, all kinds of cooking tools, mutant deer thing has the legendary laser gun, very big army of animals some of them are hurt, zord manual, two space pirate ships, big laser, several large weapons, lots of raw materials, other stuff, massive amount of food, lots of water, several ship engines, a nuclear power generator, a still functional shuttle craft, space station, several space suits, damaged spaceship
Animal city: traps, trenches all around, razor wire, landmines, fortified walls and positions, more mounted machine guns, improved to with stand being space, space worthy, in space, space port of pirates, fields of corn, a council to rule in your stead, lots of different kinds of money from the industrial planet, grain similar to wheat, some tubers similar to potatoes, some root vegetables similar to carrots and onions, loads of meat barring animals, pens for animals, new fields for all recently acquired foods
Naturegirl1999 / doesn't have the power to switch bodies / has telekinesis / knows the basics of FUNKY magic / blood wings / hands and feet are four hooked talons / teleportation linked with the sorceress / less magic available / doesn't know any spells that make the floor sticky / spell that lets your followers know what you know, even more advanced magic
Health: FINE
Inventory: three followers they all have wings of blood and swords, 6 hypnotized demons, 82 weapon and armour mimics can drain life, 78 bits of wall mimics can drain life, all followers have better defenses, 4 tomes advanced, 11 magical tomes you've read
Spells: Light, Shield, Detect magic, Detects traps, Magic mapping, Resist magic, magic missile, disco dancing, power thrusting, several other advanced spells, some animals
Former gas station now a proper fortress: high walls, towers, a moat, in the middle of nowhere, no doors, as a few more buildings, has an illusion over it to appear as an empty space, enough buildings for everyone, incredibly vulnerable to the Burninators beam
CABL / second prophet of FUNK
Health: ??DEAD??
Inventory: incredibly close to the true wisdom of the FUNK, two swords made of pure FUNK energy, machete, God Emperor's severed head, several hundred tiny balls of FUNK
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES / Is Angry Halloween Kaiju / soul magic / ULTRA OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN / combined with Samhain and Gates of Hell haunted house / blessing of strong bones and spookiness
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: 4000 page waiver that has to be signed to get into the haunted house if you sign it or read it you lose your soul, one soul, posters advertising the GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE, Smoke Mirrors's ankles, thirty souls, a bunch of demons, all of Earth's gumball machines, necronomicon, bigger suit case
The Canadian kitten / ability to fly / god powers / mind slightly crushed crushed / explosion proof / higher powered god than you were before
Health: FINE
Inventory: can opener, some bottles of water, 9mm handgun, bike, first aid kit with aspirin a few bandages and a first aid pamphlet, knife, shotgun, rifle, .44 magnum revolver, anti-tank rifle, 1976 cat army with extra sharp claws some of them are pregnant, a box
of candy, several spaceships with weapons, small colonies on Mercury, Venus, Mars, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto, 5 nuclear bombs, spaceship with guns, death star exhaust port no longer a thing to worry about, planetary shield
Moon DISCO BALL base: several buildings, a few defensive positions
Enemy post / employee of the month
Health: FINE
Inventory: rock, has a job in a "office" organizing files and papers regarding new species and issues faced by the new world, art supplies, split a studio with a fat dog, painting of nothing, tables Piecewise uses to generate loot and other items in his games and the instructions to several of his most recent games and to some you haven't heard of, skeleton porn, some items your not sure if you should be touching with your bare hands, a revolver and ammo, a small shovel, a handful of doubloons, fire helmet
Smoke Mirrors / Angelo and Diablo / couldn't lose your soul even if you wanted to / one ankle / angel magic / OVERDEITY OF ALL HOLIDAYS / on fire / power of the sun
Health: DEAD
Inventory: six million souls, time machine, bottle of secrete stuff
Avetruetotheimperator / SPACE GUY / vauge space psychic powers / TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR / even more powerful
Health: FINE
Inventory: badly damaged small spaceship, sand castle with fusion reactor, mini personal computer, Burninator
Medium sized fortress on the planet:
Outsider / ascetic monk
Health: DEAD
Inventory: a bunch of tools, some of building materials
Monastery: farm, wall, lots of rooms
WyrdByrd / FUNK-Master / increases FUNKability / ONE WITH THE FUNK / CREATURE OF PURE FUNK
Health: DEAD
Inventory: LAVA LAMP, DISCO BALL, STEREO
FUNKY Church: Filled with FUNKY stuff, "Holy FUNK book", split between two parties, leads the half of the FUNKY Church called FUNKODOXES, foundation for a magical ream
TricMagic / Magical / a bunch more power / Avatar of FUNK / object of worship of the Funkists
Health: FINE
Inventory: Lots of dinos some injured, some sugar cannons, dozens of different species of plants, lots of seeds, space station without windows, plasma weapons, the rest of the healthy you costume
America: your base camp that's set up for desert conditions platform to portal, covered in plants, partly destroyed, weather machine, farming tools and equipment, colonized with 631,081 dinos, communications network, fortress, large trench line, shield generators
Mexico: 985,312 dinos, shield generators
South America: All dead and on fire
The Holy African Union: Better than what it was before the war, 3,036,631 Funkist followers above ground, 321,141 in the bunkers,anti-Imperium propaganda, guerrilla fighters, dirty tactics, city of Johannesburg destroyed, enough bunkers to house everyone, one spaceship capable of flying through hyperspace, spaceship repair manual, knows how to make shield generators, has a lot shield generators
The Funky States of Australia: 21 America Funkists, 15,554,874 Funkists, small settlement, shield generators protect it, bunkers for everyone
Europe: Destroyed and on fire
The Middle East: Rebuilt, 2,385,829 Funkist followers
Southeast Asia:
Oceania: everyone in New Zealand is dead
China:
Japan:
Sakhalin:
Hawaii: naval base at Perl Harbor
GandalfTheGreyt3791
Health: FINE
Inventory:
The country of Oman has been destroyed.
If you wear a costume you become whatever the costume depicts.
The more candy you have the more powerful you become.
The apocalypse happened.
Ceres has been destroyed.
Jupiter has been destroyed.
Super Hell has been destroyed.
The Unholy Pail has been killed.
VY Canis Majoris has been destroyed.
There's a demon bloodsports dimension.
The moon is much bigger and is a DISCO BALL.
Canada has be magically renamed to Earth.
The FUNKY Church is a thing, and its divided, Half follows CABL and the other half follows WyrdByrd.
Large space station filled with aliens that are willing to buy your ill-gotten goods.
Johannesburg has been destroyed.
Dongguan has been destroyed.
France has been destroyed.