(Sorry about taking so long to get this done, but with my hard drive crapping out and having to get up early to work on a fence for the past few days I haven't had as much time to work on this as I usually do.)
A massive storm of FUNK energy has devastated France, and parts of Europe and Africa, but miraculously no one died.And everyone that died this turn has come back to life again.November 1, 3:00 PMIts sunny.Its FUNKY.The town the game started in has been destroyed.All animal life on Earth has evolved into bigger, stronger, and FUNKIER versions of themselves, and they also hate all humans and pumpkin zombies and want to kill them.All the plants on Earth evolved to accommodate the newly evolved animals.An evil sorceress is doing evil stuff.The Earth has become an extension of the FUNKIVERSE.Avetruetotheimperator didn't post for the fifth time so random action.Yoink didn't post for the third time so random action.Kakaluncha didn't post random action."Thank you, DISCO Wizard. Would you be interested in helping me stop a sorceress from destroying the world? What other spells can I learn? I love the classes."
(Asking the wizard if he'd help fight the sorceress = 5) After you tell him about the sorceress he agrees to help stop her, he also says that you will need to learn more spells to help defeat her.
(Asking to learn more spells = 6) He tells you that you need to learn a few more things before he can teach you any more advanced spells, so he teaches the things needed to be able to do advanced magics.
Trade loot for food and water.
(3+1 For being a place that buys things) You sell several things from your inventory like the decent amount of loot, some more loot, all manner of electrical components, a few still usable computer systems, and navigational equipment, for massive amounts of food and lots of water.
Make a painting of the city.
(4) Over the coarse of several minutes you paint a beautiful painting of the city with the Earth in the background.
Create a giant FUNK energy storm above the France, hopefully destroying the country completely in the thudding, numerous explosions.
Whatever "refugees" that still weren't caught: Suicide bomb France's main power plant.
HAU: Start mass praying to CABL, The Avatar of FUNK, giving him a bonus to invoking a FUNKstorm.
(Creating a giant FUNK energy storm above France = 4+1 For HAU praying) Using your powers combined with the Prayer from the HAU you create a massive storm of FUNKY energy, then you send it towards France.
(How much does it destroy = 6) The FUNK storm quickly tears across northern Africa and southern Europe leaving a trail of destruction behind it as it makes its way to France, and when it finally arrives in France it causes massive amounts of damage.
("Refugees" destroying France's main power plant = 3) They can't figure out where the main power plant is so they blow up other power plants instead.
(HAU praying to CABL to give bonus invoking the FUNKSTORM = 5) They quickly begin praying to aid in destroying the evils in France.
You get news of continued fighting in the HAU, and one of your people gives you a list containing the names of all the Imperium spies in the HAU.
Keep trying to raise more people, and check my messages. Also try to remove any FUNKY adherents from the FUNKIST conflict.
(Trying to raise more people = 4) You feel that thousands of people were going to die in a massive storm, so you quickly get to work and with your powers you keep the people from dying.
(Checking messages = 4) You quickly check the mental messages you've received, and find you do have a missed message and its ""Hey, what would say if I offer you the chance to deal with CABL and take over the Funkist Church? Wouldn't you like reuniting the FUNKIST Church?".
(Removing FUNKY adherents from the FUNKIST conflict = 2) You try to remove them but you can't as your tired from bringing all those people back to life.
It’s fine, don’t worry.
Uncorrupt more animals
(3+1 For powers) You go around the city uncorrupting every animal you find, in the end you uncorrupt almost everything around the city.
Oops. ADD WEAPONS TO THE SPACESHIPS
(5) Your cats gather materials and build enough weapons to arm every spaceship in your fleet, then they quickly install all of them.
Have the collaborators continue to gather support with in the Funkist Church, send teams out to rebuild and repair the damaged factories and power plants, while the army and guerrilla continue to fight the Funkists in Africa
(Collaborators gathering more support = 6) They manage to gather several more followers, but turns out one of them was a counter agent and they've reviled the names of all the collaborators.
(Teams repairing damaged factories = 5) They quickly repair the damaged factories.
(Teams repairing damaged power plants = 5) They quickly repair the damage power plants.
(Teams rebuilding destroyed factories = 1) They lack the resources to rebuild them.
(Teams rebuilding destroyed power plants = 1) They lack the necessary resources to rebuild.
(Army continuing to fight in Africa = 6) They keep fighting but they get pushed back with some losses.
(How do the Funkists react = 3) They only barely push the enemy troops back.
(Guerrillas fighting = 4) They attack and destroy several important things around the HAU.
(How do the Funkists react = 4) They manage to find and kill a few of the guerrilla troops.
You get reports that more power plants have been damaged by explosions, then suddenly a massive storm quickly rolls in destroying massive amounts of stuff all over France and parts of Europe, and miraculously no one died.
GIVE THE CREATURE THE HANDGUN, THEN LOOK FOR A WAY OUT OF THE HOSPITAL THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE A MASSIVE FIGHT.
(4) You give the creature the gun, then quickly search the hospital for a way out, and after a bit of looking around you find a sewer access point in the basement which appears to be deserted.
Try to build an actual castle out of sand.
(3) Even after quite a bit of work you only manage to make a small room with a roof, it appears making a castle sized thing out of sand will take quite a long time to build.
NPC STUFFHave the fief look after itself while I go out and look for more survivors.
(How does the fief do = 6)The fief gets attacked by mutated animals, but they manage to kill them all in the end.
(You finding more survivors = 1) After wandering for a bit you get attacked by mutated animals.
Now is the time for training to become warrior monks.
(4) It doesn't take long for the training to start and but the time the days over everyone seems like a slightly better fighter.
Study the books and see what their about, the demons will guard the fort.
(Studying the books = 6) You discover that the books are all about powerful magics, that you can use to enhance your powers.
(Demons guarding = 4) They kill anything that gets to close to the fort,
Keep trying to fix the commune.
(1) They keep breaking shit around the camp.
(3) They manage to fix a few things.
Kill all humans and destroy all signs of civilization.
(North America = 3) They only break a few things.
(North America = 6) They break all kinds of shit then they die.
Places in space:-
Percent of Ziizo's Animal City destroyed: 0%-
Percent of The Canadian kitten's Moon DISCO BALL Base destroyed: 0%Percent of America destroyed: 47.81%-
Percent of Dustan Hache's fief destroyed: 2.34%-
Percent of Outsider's monastery destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Evil sorceress's fortress destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Spacenoid base destroyed: 0%Percent of Canada Earth destroyed 47.43%-
Percent of Pumpkin Hippy commune destroyed 29.67%Percent of France destroyed: 76.54%Percent of Europe destroyed: 12.46%Percent of Middle East destroyed: 0%Percent of The Holy African Union destroyed: 8.46%Yoink
Health: FINE / flaming pants
Inventory: loaded shotgun, a few lighters, some rolling paper, chips, candy, soda, glass bottles of beer, different kinds of chips, big ass sword, sword surfing skills, beer, a creature that's a follower has a handgun, first aid kit, a few rolls of bandages
Kakaluncha / clothing fit for the Emperor of Mankind they inspire loyalty / The Emperor of Mankind / telepathic / telekinetic / really good at UNO
Health: FINE
Inventory: a bowl, two animated trees, Ninja Elvis costume, The Flying Guillotine, manifesto about the Cult to the Supreme Being, air plane, blood pilot, Maximilien Robespierre's ghost, Napoleon Bonaparte's ghost, knows everything about coups, knows about different propaganda, laptop, Leon Trotsky's ghost, Vladimir Lenin's ghost, know everything about revolutions, 34 ghostly Russian troops, Robespierre costume, a bunch of candy, 100 ghosts in the afterlife, some radiation as an ally, some mecha parts, more radiation friends, Comms that allow communication with North America, a bunch hyper evolved animal slaves loyal to you, several more ghost troops, knowledge on how to bring the dead back from the dead, even more mutant animals loyal to you, several ships, plan for indoctrination of children, three spaceships capable of flying through hyperspace, a whole bunch of collaborationist in the Funkist Church, a few small anti-Funkist guerrilla groups
France: United, 334,890 follows, no radiation, super efficient economy, the most stable, efficient, and self sustaining version of France EVER, global superpower, great again, 132,743 settled refuges North America, several of the factories and power plants are destroyed or damaged, everything's badly damaged
Afterlife: a French puppet state, lead by distinguished puppers
Europe: back to what it was before the apocalypse, 2,465,567 followers, some parts are damaged
The Middle East: Rebuilt, 1,324,567 followers
Dustan Hache / knight / blessed with strength
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: slightly damaged Plate armour, shield, sword, one small candy, bowl of candy, two bags of candy, even more candy, one factories worth of candy, lots of fish
Fiefdom: walls, lots of food, crops, Good moral, hunting party, water snake with arms that takes care of the crops, militia ready to fight
ziizo / like new again ULTRA-MEGA-ZORD made from ten zords and has nine animal pilots
Health: FINE
Inventory: road atlas, lime green hatchback with full tank of gas slightly damaged, large pipe, music CD, all kinds of cooking tools, mutant deer thing has the legendary laser gun, very big army of animals, zord manual, two space pirate ships, big laser, several large weapons, lots of raw materials, other stuff, massive amount of food, lots of water
Animal city: traps, trenches all around, razor wire, landmines, fortified walls and positions, more mounted machine guns, improved to with stand being space, space worthy, in space, space port of pirates
Naturegirl1999 / doesn't have the power to switch bodies / has telekinesis / knows the basics of FUNKY magic
Health: DAMAGED
Inventory: three followers
Spells: Light, Shield, Detect magic, Detects traps, Magic mapping, Resist magic
CABL / second prophet of FUNK / Avatar of FUNK
Health: FINE
Inventory: incredibly close to the true wisdom of the FUNK
The Holy African Union: Better than what it was before the war, 3,393,809 Funkist followers, anti-Imperium propaganda, guerrilla fighters, dirty tactics
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES / Is Angry Halloween Kaiju / soul magic / ULTRA OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN / combined with Samhain and Gates of Hell haunted house / blessing of strong bones and spookiness
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: 4000 page waiver that has to be signed to get into the haunted house if you sign it or read it you lose your soul, one soul, posters advertising the GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE, Smoke Mirrors's ankles, thirty souls, a bunch of demons, all of Earth's gumball machines, necronomicon, bigger suit case
The Canadian kitten / ability to fly / god powers / mind slightly crushed crushed / explosion proof / higher powered god than you were before
Health: FINE
Inventory: can opener, some bottles of water, 9mm handgun, bike, first aid kit with aspirin a few bandages and a first aid pamphlet, knife, shotgun, rifle, .44 magnum revolver, anti-tank rifle, 584 cat army with extra sharp claws some of them are pregnant, a box of candy, several spaceships with weapons
Moon DISCO BALL base: several buildings, a few defensive positions
Enemy post / employee of the month
Health: FINE
Inventory: rock, has a job in a "office" organizing files and papers regarding new species and issues faced by the new world, art supplies, masterpiece painting of the fighting in the town
Smoke Mirrors / Angelo and Diablo / couldn't lose your soul even if you wanted to / one ankle / angel magic / OVERDEITY OF ALL HOLIDAYS / on fire
Health: A LOT MORE DAMAGED / broken nose
Inventory: six million souls, time machine, bottle of secrete stuff
Avetruetotheimperator / SPACE GUY / vauge space psychic powers
Health: FINE
Inventory: massive pile of candy, badly damaged small spaceship
Medium sized fortress on the planet:
Outsider / ascetic monk
Health: MORE DAMAGE
Inventory: 12 enlightened, 36 injured enlightened people, a bunch of tools, some of building materials, 277,997,762 enlightened pumpkin zombies, everyone's a slightly better fighter
Monastery: farm, wall, lots of rooms
WyrdByrd / FUNK-Master / increases FUNKability / ONE WITH THE FUNK / CREATURE OF PURE FUNK
Health: FINE
Inventory: 15 FUNKY disciples, 23 FUNKY creatures, LAVA LAMP, DISCO BALL, STEREO, 36 people enlightened about the FUNK
FUNKY Church: Filled with FUNKY stuff, "Holy FUNK book", split between two parties, leads the half of the FUNKY Church called FUNKODOXES, 12 plant creatures, foundation for a magical realm
Evil sorceress
Health: FINE
Inventory: 385 demons, 883 mutated animals, stack of magical tomes that can enhance your powers
Former gas station now a proper fortress: high walls, towers, a moat, in the middle of nowhere
The country of Oman has been destroyed.
If you wear a costume you become whatever the costume depicts.
The more candy you have the more powerful you become.
There's a massive army of animals.
The apocalypse happened.
Ceres has been destroyed.
Jupiter has been destroyed.
Super Hell has been destroyed.
The Unholy Pail has been killed.
VY Canis Majoris has been destroyed.
There's a demon bloodsports dimension.
The city with animals has traps.
The moon is much bigger.
Canada has be magically renamed to Earth.
The entire Earth has been covered with a wave of FUNK.
The moon is a DISCO BALL.
The FUNKY Church is a thing, and its divided, Half follows CABL and the other half follows WyrdByrd.
Large space station filled with aliens that are willing to buy your ill-gotten goods.