November 1, 2:00 PMIts sunny.Its cloudy.The town the game started in has been destroyed.All animal life on Earth has evolved into bigger, stronger, and FUNKIER versions of themselves, and they also hate all humans and pumpkin zombies and want to kill them.All the plants on Earth evolved to accommodate the newly evolved animals.An evil sorceress is doing evil stuff.The Earth has become an extension of the FUNKIVERSE.Avetruetotheimperator didn't post for the third time so random action.WyrdByrd didn't post for the second time so random action.Yoink didn't post so random action.”Alright, what’s next?” Start learning the next lesson
(4) You quickly begin your next lesson, where you learn complex dance moves and hand motions that'll be important in learning spells later on.
“I was expecting a challenge.”
Fly to the city and purify the animals of their mutations.
(Flying to the city = 3+1 For wings) You quickly fly to the ruined city.
(Purifying the animals of their mutation = 6) You then use your powers to purify the animals of their mutations, but it seems to be to much for their bodies and they all quickly die.
"Welcome to Space-city, populated only by animals and myself right now! Just do whatever you want but don't annoy the space-pirates they are one of the pillars of this new community"
Welcome the new guy and call some animal to give us a tour to the city(or just me if he doesn't want to come).
Space-pirates animals have free time they can do whatever they want.
(Welcoming the new guy = 3) You half-ass the greeting.
(Getting animals to give a tour = 6) Turns out every animal in the space city wants to give the tour, it takes a bit to chose which ones you want to lead it.
(Taking the tour = 2+2 For tour guides) They quickly lead you both out of the zord and into the city where they show you both all the most interesting places they can think of, like the statue of some guy, their houses, the zord, the space pirate ships, and several other things they think you might want to see.
(Space-pirate animals doing whatever = 4) They spend time doing random things while others go to the infirmary and get healed.
"Uh, hi."
Follow along on the tour.
(3+1 For tour guides) They quickly lead you both out of the zord and into the city where they show you both all the most interesting places they can think of like the statue of some guy, their houses, the zord, the space pirate ships, and several other things they think you might want to see.
Send my enlightened Funkist followers in the various corners of the world, where they'll use their superior knowledge of FUNK to spread the Funkist religion further.
Funkists in Africa: Unite Africa into Holy African Union.
Also African Funkists: Prepare for guerilla warfare/scorched earth tactics against the Imperium troops.
(Sending the enlightened Funkist around the world = 5) You quickly send your enlightened out all over the world to spread the good word.
(Enlightened Funkists spreading the religion further = 2) They would spread the religion but they haven't found anyone yet.
(Funkist in Africa becoming the Holy African Union = 5) They quickly rename the continent to The Holy African Union.
(African Funkists preparing for war against the Imperium = 3) It turns out they don't really have many weapons, but they prepare as well as they can.
You get reports that the Holy African Union is currently being attacked by Imperium troops but the Funkists are holding the enemy troops back.
Send my armies to Africa and try to convince these funkists to abandon their religion and join the Imperium. If that fails, well, leave none alive.
Then, using all my resources, powers, followers and allies to cause a coup in the Funkist Church, and establish a collaborationist leadership loyal to the Empire.
After all this is done, send the radiation to Dustan Hache's kingdom and force them to submission to the Imperium.
(Sending armies to convince the Funkists to abandon their religion and rejoin the Imperium = 3) As your armies head in you find that they've renamed the continent to The Holy African Union and apparently only a few of the people living there want to abandon the religion or were never a part of it and they quickly flee to Europe, and everyone else seems to want to stay with the religion.
(How do the African Funkists react = 4) They immediately go on the offensive as soon as your troops enter their areas, killing dozens of them.
(Killing all the African Funkists = 3) Your troops then start killing off the Funkists, but they don't get many of them before they get pushed back.
(How do the African Funkists react = 3) They lose a few guys before they manage to start pushing your troops back.
(Causing a coup in the Funkist Church = 1+2 For coup powers) You have trouble causing the coup do to them being hostile to you and various other things.
(Establishing a collaborationist leadership loyal to the Empire = 5) You do manage to get a few collaborationist in the Funkist Church, while they aren't parts of the leadership they are near it.
(Sending radiation to Dustan's kingdom and forcing them to submit = 3) Your radiation has trouble getting across the ocean so they only get half way there.
Start a space cat empire
(6) Your cats build several ships so they can start the space empire, but upon testing one of the ships explodes and kills several cats, at least the other ships seem to be safe for use.
SEE IF HE KNOWS IF THERE IS ANY SAFE PLACE IN THE CITY AND THERE ARE ANY OTHER NOT HOSTILE PEOPLE AROUND.
(Does he know were safe places are = 4) Apparently he went up to the roof and saw that there is a part of the city that looks clear of the creatures to the north, but it'll be hard to get there from the hospital.
(Are there others = 3) He says he can see another guy up on the roof of the building across the street.
Go to the FUNKIEST library and search the books there for the info needed to allow me raise the dead.
(5) After travailing for a bit you arrive at the library, then you spend several minutes looking through books until you finally find a book with the info your looking for.
Go sit on the beach for a bit.
(6) You sit on the beach for quite awhile, and you fall asleep only to wake up with the tide coming in getting you and your towel wet
NPC STUFFHave some of my people search chop down some trees so we have materials to fix the fief..
(Gathering wood = 5) After quite a bit of work you and your people gather enough wood to fix the walls.
(Repairing the fief = 2+2 For wood) Then you all get to work and repair the last bit of damage on the walls.
Its time for some meditation.
(6) You and all of your followers gather in the courtyard and meditate for quite some time.
Have the demons go out and gather materials to fix the fortress, while I continue to enslave the mutated animals.
(Demons gathering building materials = 3) They go out and gather some of the rubble from several destroyed buildings.
(Rebuilding the fortress = 5) They then use the rubble to repair all the fortresses damage.
(Enslaving the animals = 4) You then use your magic to enslave even more of the mutant animals.
Keep fixing the commune.
(4) They manage to fix all kinds of things around the commune.
(1) They damage some of the commune instead of fixing anything.
Kill all humans and destroy all signs of civilization.
(North America = 2) They sit around and sleep.
(North America = 5) They break all kinds of shit in Canada.
Places in space:-
Percent of Ziizo's Animal City destroyed: 0%-
Percent of The Canadian kitten's Moon DISCO BALL Base destroyed: 0%Percent of America destroyed: 46.32%-
Percent of Dustan Hache's fief destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Outsider's monastery destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Evil sorceress's fortress destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Spacenoid base destroyed: 0%Percent of Canada Earth destroyed 46.23%-
Percent of Pumpkin Hippy commune destroyed 26.32%Yoink
Health: FINE / flaming pants
Inventory: loaded shotgun, a few lighters, some rolling paper, chips, candy, soda, glass bottles of beer, different kinds of chips, big ass sword, sword surfing skills, beer
Kakaluncha / clothing fit for the Emperor of Mankind they inspire loyalty / The Emperor of Mankind / telepathic / telekinetic
Health: FINE
Inventory: a bowl, two animated trees, Ninja Elvis costume, The Flying Guillotine, manifesto about the Cult to the Supreme Being, air plane, blood pilot, Maximilien Robespierre's ghost, Napoleon Bonaparte's ghost, knows everything about coups, knows about different propaganda, laptop, Leon Trotsky's ghost, Vladimir Lenin's ghost, know everything about revolutions, 34 ghostly Russian troops, Robespierre costume, a bunch of candy, 100 ghosts in the afterlife, some radiation as an ally, some mecha parts, more radiation friends, Comms that allow communication with North America, a bunch hyper evolved animal slaves loyal to you, several more ghost troops, knowledge on how to bring the dead back from the dead, even more mutant animals loyal to you, several ships, plan for indoctrination of children, three spaceships capable of flying through hyperspace, a few collaborationist in the Funkist Church
France: United, 334,890 follows, no radiation, one power plant, super efficient economy, the most stable, efficient, and self sustaining version of France EVER, global superpower, great again, 132,743 settled refuges North America
Afterlife: a French puppet state, lead by distinguished puppers
Europe: back to what it was before the apocalypse, 2,638,223 followers
The Middle East: Rebuilt, 1,324,567 followers
Dustan Hache / knight / blessed with strength
Health: FINE
Inventory: slightly damaged Plate armour, shield, sword, one small candy, bowl of candy, two bags of candy, even more candy, one factories worth of candy
Fiefdom: walls, lots of food, crops, Good moral, hunting party, water snake with arms that takes care of the crops, militia ready to fight
ziizo / like new again ULTRA-MEGA-ZORD made from ten zords and has nine animal pilots
Health: FINE
Inventory: road atlas, lime green hatchback with full tank of gas slightly damaged, large pipe, music CD, all kinds of cooking tools, mutant deer thing has the legendary laser gun, very big army of animals, zord manual, two space pirate ships, big laser, decent amount of loot, some more loot, all manner of electrical components, several large weapons, a few still usable computer systems, navigational equipment, lots of raw materials, other stuff
Animal city: traps, trenches all around, razor wire, landmines, fortified walls and positions, more mounted machine guns, improved to with stand being space, space worthy, in space, space port of pirates
Naturegirl1999 / doesn't have the power to switch bodies / has telekinesis / knows the basics of FUNKY magic
Health: DAMAGED
Inventory: three followers
Spells: Light
CABL / second prophet of FUNK
Health: FINE
Inventory: 32 Funkists, incredibly close to the true wisdom of the FUNK
The Holy African Union: Better than what it was before the war, 3,211,124 Funkist followers
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES / Is Angry Halloween Kaiju / soul magic / ULTRA OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN / combined with Samhain and Gates of Hell haunted house / blessing of strong bones and spookiness
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: 4000 page waiver that has to be signed to get into the haunted house if you sign it or read it you lose your soul, one soul, posters advertising the GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE, Smoke Mirrors's ankles, thirty souls, a bunch of demons, all of Earth's gumball machines, necronomicon, bigger suit case
The Canadian kitten / ability to fly / god powers / mind slightly crushed crushed / explosion proof / higher powered god than you were before
Health: FINE
Inventory: can opener, some bottles of water, 9mm handgun, bike, first aid kit with aspirin a few bandages and a first aid pamphlet, knife, shotgun, rifle, .44 magnum revolver, anti-tank rifle, 542 cat army with extra sharp claws, a box of candy, several spaceships
Moon DISCO BALL base: several buildings, a few defensive positions
Enemy post / employee of the month
Health: FINE
Inventory: rock, has a job in a "office" organizing files and papers regarding new species and issues faced by the new world, art supplies, masterpiece painting of the fighting in the town
Smoke Mirrors / Angelo and Diablo / couldn't lose your soul even if you wanted to / one ankle / angel magic / OVERDEITY OF ALL HOLIDAYS / on fire
Health: A LOT MORE DAMAGED / broken nose
Inventory: six million souls, "Totally Average Human"TM costume
Avetruetotheimperator / SPACE GUY / vauge space psychic powers
Health: FINE
Inventory: massive pile of candy, badly damaged small spaceship
Medium sized fortress on the planet:
Outsider / ascetic monk
Health: MORE DAMAGE
Inventory: 12 enlightened, 36 injured enlightened people, a bunch of tools, some of building materials, 277,997,762 enlightened pumpkin zombies
Monastery: farm, wall, lots of rooms
WyrdByrd / FUNK-Master / increases FUNKability / ONE WITH THE FUNK / CREATURE OF PURE FUNK
Health: FINE
Inventory: 15 FUNKY disciples, 23 FUNKY creatures, LAVA LAMP, DISCO BALL, STEREO, 36 people enlightened about the FUNK
FUNKY Church: Filled with FUNKY stuff, "Holy FUNK book", split between two parties, leads the half of the FUNKY Church called FUNKODOXES, 12 plant creatures, foundation for a magical realm
Evil sorceress
Health: FINE
Inventory: 385 demons, 824 mutated animals
Former gas station now a proper fortress: high walls, towers, a moat, in the middle of nowhere
The country of Oman has been destroyed.
If you wear a costume you become whatever the costume depicts.
The more candy you have the more powerful you become.
There's a massive army of animals.
The apocalypse happened.
Ceres has been destroyed.
Jupiter has been destroyed.
Super Hell has been destroyed.
The Unholy Pail has been killed.
VY Canis Majoris has been destroyed.
There's a demon bloodsports dimension.
The city with animals has traps.
The moon is much bigger.
Canada has be magically renamed to Earth.
The entire Earth has been covered with a wave of FUNK.
The moon is a DISCO BALL.
The FUNKY Church is a thing, and its divided, Half follows CABL and the other half follows WyrdByrd.
Large space station filled with aliens that are willing to buy your ill-gotten goods.