(I'm gonna have two days between updates from now on do to how long this thing takes to update.)
November 1, 12:30 AMIts sunny.Its cloudy.A giant pumpkin zombie army less than a billion strong is destroying everything that isn't Canada, all of them have weapons now and they are also immune to brain alteration.The town the game started in has been destroyed.All animal life on Earth has evolved into bigger, stronger, and FUNKIER versions of themselves, and they also hate all humans and pumpkin zombies and want to kill them.All the plants on Earth evolved to accommodate the newly evolved animals.An evil sorceress is doing evil stuff.Everything on Earth and the town is washed in a wave of FUNKINESS.Do the lesson
(4) Over the next few minutes you learn the basics of FUNKY magic, but you still have a ways to go before you become a full fledged DISCO WIZARD.
Thrash around and panic until I land somewhere.
(5) You flop and thrash around for what seems like hours before you grab on to a giant robot that shows up to gather the scrap that's floating around.
Have me and all my cats colonize the moon
(You colonizing the moon = 3) You wander around the surface of the
moon DISCO BALL and eventually find a good place to start building, but you don't manage to start work.
(The cats colonizing the moon = 5) They manage to start building and after a bit they finish a few buildings.
Go to the debris of the space-town and spaceship to salvage as much as possible
Space Pirates animals go to help with the salvaging
(You salvaging the debris = 6) As your gathering loads of random salvage your Ultra-Mega-Zord gets damaged by some bits of debris.
(Space pirate animals salvaging the debris = 4) They manage to gather a bunch of the random bits that were floating around.
(Space pirate animals salvaging the debris = 6) They finally get the second ship finished and sent out, but they only manage to gather a small amount of salvage.
Then some random guy that was floating in space grabs onto your Zord.
Organize an exodus of survivors to the FUNKYverse, then began to build a Magical Realm.
(Organizing the exodus = 2) You would organize an exodus but you can't find any survivors in your area as they all seem to be dead.
(Building a magical realm = 3) After a bit of work you manage to build the foundation of your magical realm.
FUNK around in the FUNKIverse, and attempt to dissolve the FUNKY church, as there’s no need to pursue true FUNK when FUNK is all around us.
(FUNKING around the FUNKIVERSE = 6) You start dancing your FUNKY dance around the FUNKIVERSE and after a bit you find your self lost.
(Dissolving the FUNKY church = 1+1 For being one with the FUNK) It seems to many people like the idea of the church and no one wants to remove it.
(Why did you post two actions?)
Respawn as the newly reborn second prophet of FUNK in the FUNKiverse.
Jump start the Funkist movement again, spreading the news that I've saved both the normal and the FUNKiverse from alien invaders, and now I was reborn, proving that I'm The True and The One with the FUNK.
You respawn as the newly reborn second prophet of FUNK, you find yourself in a random town in the FUNKIVERSE.
(Starting the Funkist movement = 3) You only manage to get a few to join the FUNKIST movement.
(Spreading the news about saving everything from aliens = 4) You tell everyone in the town about you saving them from the aliens, and everyone you meet thanks you profusely.
(Spreading the news about being reborn and proving that you are the true and the one with the FUNK = 3) You spread the news of you being the true one with the FUNK, but only the few FUNKISTS believe you're that.
Okay, start meditating until I develop psychic powers.
Meanwhile, send several ships to recover my followers on the Mediterranium. At the same time, send my armies to crush the animal rebellion in Africa, while sending my followers to rebuild the Middle East.
Began breeding the mutant animals, and indoctrinate the children into absolute loyalty.
At last, start research in the Afterlife, in order to discover how to bring back to life the dead.
(Meditating until you develop psychic powers = 2) You meditate for a little bit, but you get distracted by all the other things going on with your empire.
(Sending ships to recover the followers = 1+3 For lots of followers) Your ships go out and meet up with the ship from North America and bring them back to France, they are now waiting for somewhere to live.
(Crushing the animals in Africa = 6) Your troops go out and kill all the attacking animals, but the victory isn't without losses.
(Followers rebuilding the Middle East = 3+1 For Followers) It doesn't take long for your followers to takeover, rebuild, and kill all the mutant animals in the Middle East.
(Breading the mutant animals = 5) It takes little effort to bread the mutant animals as they were happily doing that with out you asking them to.
(Indoctrinating the children into absolute loyalty = 2) You get so involved with others things that you don't get around to setting this up.
(Researching how to bring the dead back to life = 6) Your people in the afterlife work to figure out how to bring the dead back to life and after a bit they finally figure out how to do it, but someone accidentally lets the failed experiments out and the start causing havoc in the afterlife.
Dammit, the mothership got blown up! Damn you maniacs, you blew it all to hell! Well, at least it isn't our only presence here. Fly back to the L4(Lagrange point) space colonies to report the status of our Earth Expedition.
Hopefully I don't get court martial'd. Or even sent back with a bigger army.
(Flying back to L4 space colonies = 5) It takes a bit for you to fly the ship back to your base at L4.
(Reporting the status of the Earth Expedition = 6) You tell them all about everything that happened, they seem annoyed that they lost all those troops, but they aren't mad at you as no one expected anything strong enough to destroy the mothership on the planet.
(Not getting court martialed = 4) They don't court martial you as you did everything you could to try and kill the creature that attacked the mothership.
(Not getting sent back with bigger army = 6) They decide that the planets to dangerous and isn't worth sending more troops to, and they decide that you deserve a vacation after you survived that ordeal.
Stealthily figure out where I am.
(2) You knock over a shelf of caned goods luckily for no one is around to notice you, after recovering from that you see that your in some kind of super market.
ATTEMPT TO TRAP MONSTER AGAINST WALL WITH THE WHEELED END OF IV STAND
FAILING THAT, JUST CLOBBER IT UPSIDE THE HEAD AND RUN OUT OF THE ROOM
(Trying to trap the minster with the IV stand = 4) You quickly pin the creatures against the wall with the IV stand in a way that prevents if from getting away.
NPC STUFFKeep defending the fief from the pumpkin zombies, while I continue to use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.
(You using holy magic to kill = 5) You continue the magical killing.
(Militia defending = 1+1 For walls) They continue to sit behind the walls and do nothing.
(Civilians defending = 3) They manage to kill a few of them.
Keep up the enlightening of the pumpkin zombies.
(You enlightening = 5) You get loads of followers.
(Followers enlightening = 3) They only get a few more followers.
(Followers enlightening = 1+1 For walls) They sit around and meditate.
Keep throwing explosive spells, while the demons will continue to attack the pumpkin zombies.
(Casting explosive spells = 5) You continue to cast harmful spells that kill.
(Demons attacking = 4) They go out a kill dozens.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.
(1) They all die.
(6) They break a bunch of stuff then die.
(3) They break a few things.
(4) They kill a bunch of stuff.
(5) They break all kinds of stuff.
(5) They destroy a lot of stuff.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.
(4) They get some more to join.
(5) They get a whole bunch to join.
(5) They also get a bunch to join.
(3) They only get a few to join.
Kill all humans and pumpkin zombies.
(North America = 6) They kill a whole bunch of the pumpkin zombies and them get killed.
(North America = 1) They all get killed.
(Africa = 2) They don't really do anything.
(Africa = 3-1 For being killed) They don't do that much.
Places in space:-
Percent of Ziizo's Animal City destroyed: 0%-
Percent of The Canadian kitten's Moon DISCO BALL Base destroyed: 0%Percent of America destroyed: 45.67%-
Percent of Dustan Hache's fief destroyed: 4.21%-
Percent of Outsider's monastery destroyed: 19.76%-
Percent of Evil sorceress's fortress destroyed: 18.12%-
Percent of Spacenoid base destroyed: 0%Percent of Canada Earth destroyed 44.24%-
Percent of Pumpkin Hippy commune destroyed 32.42%Yoink
Health: FINE / flaming pants
Inventory: loaded shotgun, a few lighters, some rolling paper, chips, candy, soda, glass bottles of beer, different kinds of chips, big ass sword, sword surfing skills, beer
Kakaluncha / totally normal human costume / The Emperor of Mankind
Health: FINE
Inventory: a bowl, two animated trees, Ninja Elvis costume, The Flying Guillotine, manifesto about the Cult to the Supreme Being, air plane, blood pilot, Maximilien Robespierre's ghost, Napoleon Bonaparte's ghost, knows everything about coups, knows about different propaganda, laptop, Leon Trotsky's ghost, Vladimir Lenin's ghost, know everything about revolutions, 34 ghostly Russian troops, Robespierre costume, a bunch of candy, 100 ghosts in the afterlife, some radiation as an ally, some mecha parts, more radiation friends, Comms that allow communication with North America, a bunch hyper evolved animal slaves, several more ghost troops, knowledge on how to bring the dead back from the dead, even more mutant animals, several ships
France: United, 313,125 follows, no radiation, one power plant, super efficient economy, the most stable, efficient, and self sustaining version of France EVER, global superpower, great again, 89,741 refuges from North America
Afterlife: a French puppet state, lead by distinguished puppers
Europe: back to what it was before the apocalypse, 2,425,124 followers
Africa: Better than what it was before the war, 3,311,245 followers
The Middle East: Rebuilt, 1,324,567 followers
Dustan Hache / knight / blessed with strength
Health: MORE DAMAGE / broken arm in sling
Inventory: slightly damaged Plate armour, shield, sword, one small candy, bowl of candy, two bags of candy, even more candy, one factories worth of candy
Fiefdom: walls, lots of food, crops, Good moral, hunting party, water snake with arms that takes care of the crops, militia ready to fight some more injured
ziizo / slightly damaged ULTRA-MEGA-ZORD made from ten zords and has nine animal pilots
Health: FINE
Inventory: road atlas, lime green hatchback with full tank of gas slightly damaged, large pipe, music CD, all kinds of cooking tools, mutant deer thing has the legendary laser gun, very big army of animals, zord manual, space pirate ship, space pirate ship some of the crew is injured, big laser, decent amount of loot, some more loot, some salvage, a bunch of salvage, small amount of salvage
Animal city: traps, trenches all around, razor wire, landmines, fortified walls and positions, more mounted machine guns, improved to with stand being space, space worthy, in space, space port of pirates
Naturegirl1999 / doesn't have the power to switch bodies / has telekinesis / knows the basics of FUNKY magic
Health: DAMAGED
Inventory: three followers
CABL / second prophet of FUNK
Health: FINE
Inventory: 32 Funkists
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES / Is Angry Halloween Kaiju / soul magic / ULTRA OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN / combined with Samhain and Gates of Hell haunted house / blessing of strong bones and spookiness
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: 4000 page waiver that has to be signed to get into the haunted house if you sign it or read it you lose your soul, one soul, posters advertising the GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE, Smoke Mirrors's ankles, thirty souls, a bunch of demons, all of Earth's gumball machines, necronomicon, bigger suit case
The Canadian kitten / ability to fly / god powers / mind slightly crushed crushed / explosion proof / higher powered god than you were before
Health: DAMAGED
Inventory: several cans of food, can opener, some cans of food, some bottles of water, 9mm handgun, bike, first aid kit with aspirin a few bandages and a first aid pamphlet, knife, shotgun, rifle, .44 magnum revolver, anti-tank rifle, 531 cat army with extra sharp claws, a box of candy
Enemy post / employee of the month
Health: FINE
Inventory: rock, has a job in a "office" organizing files and papers regarding new species and issues faced by the new world, art supplies, masterpiece painting of the fighting in the town
Smoke Mirrors / Angelo and Diablo / couldn't lose your soul even if you wanted to / one ankle / angel magic / OVERDEITY OF ALL HOLIDAYS / on fire
Health: A LOT MORE DAMAGED / broken nose
Inventory: six million souls, "Totally Average Human"TM costume
Avetruetotheimperator / SPACE GUY / vauge space psychic powers
Health: FINE
Inventory: massive pile of candy, badly damaged small spaceship
Medium sized fortress on the planet:
Outsider / ascetic monk
Health: MORE DAMAGE
Inventory: 12 enlightened, 36 injured enlightened people, a bunch of tools, some of building materials, 203,963,717 enlightened pumpkin zombies
Monastery: farm, wall, lots of rooms
WyrdByrd / FUNK-Master / increases FUNKability / ONE WITH THE FUNK / CREATURE OF PURE FUNK
Health: FINE
Inventory: 15 FUNKY disciples, 23 FUNKY creatures, LAVA LAMP, DISCO BALL, STEREO, 36 people enlightened about the FUNK
FUNKY Church: Filled with FUNKY stuff, "Holy FUNK book", split between two parties, leads the half of the FUNKY Church called FUNKODOXES, 12 plant creatures, foundation for a magical realm
Evil sorceress
Health: FINE
Inventory: 385 demons
Former gas station now a proper fortress: high walls, towers, a moat, in the middle of nowhere
The country of Oman has been destroyed.
If you wear a costume you become whatever the costume depicts.
The more candy you have the more powerful you become.
There's a massive army of animals.
The apocalypse happened.
Ceres has been destroyed.
Jupiter has been destroyed.
Super Hell has been destroyed.
The Unholy Pail has been killed.
VY Canis Majoris has been destroyed.
There's a demon bloodsports dimension.
A giant pumpkin zombie army seven billion strong that hates everything but Canada and has free will.
The city with animals has traps.
The moon is much bigger.
Canada has be magically renamed to Earth.
The entire Earth has been covered with a wave of FUNK.
The moon is a DISCO BALL.
The FUNKY Church is a thing, and its divided, Half follows CABL and the other half follows WyrdByrd.
Large space station filled with aliens that are willing to buy your ill-gotten goods.