(Sorry about not posting yesterday, had to get up early.)
The FUNKY Church has been split down the middle, one half follows WyrdByrd and the other follows CABL.November 1, 10:00 AMIts sunny.The sky is clear.A giant pumpkin zombie army two billion strong as appeared and is destroying everything that isn't Canada then adding it to Canada, all of them have weapons now and they are also immune to brain alteration.The town the game started in has been lifted lifted into space, but people still in the town don't have to worry about air as it's in a bubble of breathable air.An evil sorceress is doing evil stuff.Everything on Earth and the town is washed in a wave of FUNKINESS.Kakaluncha didn't post for the seventh time so random action.Avetruetotheimperator didn't post for the forth time so random action.“I killed your zombies because they were hostile. I came to you to learn magic. Please teach me. Maybe since their bodies are in dirt, you could make a disco dirt golem with the pieces? If they hadn’t attacked I wouldn’t have had to hurt them. Maybe I can help you make more to replenish the ones I killed/ I wish to be your apprentice” After saying this to the wizard, ask the other humans if they also want to learn magic
(How does the DISCO WIZARD react to your words = 5) He seems to take it way better than you thought he would, as he doesn't immediately kill you.
(Will he teach you magic = 3) He tells you that he could teach you, but it'd cost you some undisclosed amount of money.
(Does he make a DISCO dirt golem = 5) He considers your idea for a bit before finally deciding that that's what he's going to do, and after a few minutes of work he finishes the DISCO Golem.
(Asking to be his apprentice = 6) He tells you that you'd have to pay for the lessons.
(Asking the other humans if they also want to be wizards = 2) They aren't interested in being wizards apparently.
Start repairing the ship with my roots and other plants.
Once the ship is repaired, take the control of the ship, then the ship shall drag me into a different star system.
Have a talk with the tree, then put it to the FUNKY test.
"Well yes, the original prophet of FUNK. You're not worthy of leading your own church anymore, you sack of meat! Leave the town, or I'll make sure you'll regret that."
(Repairing the ship with roots = 4) You throw some roots at the ship that somehow fix all the holes you created earlier, making the ship as good as new.
(How do the aliens react to this = 5) Apparently the aliens see this as an attack and start firing on the town again, this time killing some of your creatures.
(Taking control of the ship = 1) Your boarding party gets killed trying to get control of the ship.
(How do the aliens react to that = 5) They continue their bombardment of the town that kills several more of your creatures.
(Threatening the original prophet of FUNK = 4) You yell your threats at the original prophet of FUNK.
(How does the FUNKY Church react to this = 4) The half of the FUNKY Church believes you are more worthy of running the FUNKY Church.
Start searching for ships to pillage and somewhere to trade like the space pirates we are
(Searching for ships to pillage = 3) After several minutes of searching you don't really find anything besides a town that's also in space that's being actively attacked by a larger space ship.
(Searching for somewhere to trade your ill-gotten goods = 5) After a bit of searching you find a large space station filled with aliens that are willing to buy your ill-gotten goods that you've yet to get.
Keep repairing my mind, and then make one of my fist as powerful it can be and punch the center of the mecha
(Continuing to fix your mind = 4) You fix even more of your mind using your powers.
(Making your fist as powerful as possible = 3) You only manage to make your fist more powerful than a normal persons fist.
(Punching the center of the mecha = 3) You then punch the crap out of the mecha, and you only manage to dent it slightly.
Right after the punch you see the alien that was piloting the mecha run off into a group of alien soldiers, then suddenly the other mecha runs over and kicks you in the chest sending you flying off into a nearby building, this whole thing was very painful.
Watch the laser show.
(5) You watch the skies as more lasers fall down destroying several more houses and killing several of the creatures that were wondering around, if it wasn't for the chance of dying you'd enjoy the spectacle even more.
"Does FUNK have to have a leader? As you can see from the world around you, FUNK is FUNK."
(Saying your thing = 4) You say your thing at the tree.
(How does the FUNKY Church react to this = 6-1 For being the original prophet of FUNK) Half of the FUNKY Church believes you are the true prophet of FUNK and that the tree is here to ruin the FUNK.
...shit, I missed three? Ok, let me just get back up to date and I'll post.
Did my origami find the Emporer?
(4+1 For me forgetting about it) According to your tracking spell the crane arrived in the Emperor's office just now.
OOPS
ROLL A NEW JOINT, THEN.
IF AM OUT OF WEED ASK OTHER PARTYGOERS IF HAVE ANY HECTIC HELL-WEED TO CONTRIBUTE
EITHER WAY, POP OPEN A BAG OF SNACKS AND CONTINUE WATCHING THE MAYHEM
(Rolling a new joint = 2) You dig around and find that you used up the last of your weed in the last joint.
(Seeing if the partygoers any hell-weed = 6) They reveal to you that they've been holding onto some super Hell-weed, and they pass you a joint made of it.
(Eating the snacks while watching the match = 5) You then eat your snacks while you watch the game, and you see that the guy you were cheering for is still alive and has almost won.
Get out of the damaged mecha and run to the safety of my troops, while the other mecha attacks the sniper, and the tank starts attacking whatever's attacking our mothership.
(Getting out of the mecha = 4) You quickly get out of the damaged mecha.
(Getting to the troops = 4) You then take cover with the rest of your troops.
(Other mecha attacking the sniper = 6) Then the other mecha runs over and drop kicks the sniper sending him flying, but also damaging your mecha even more.
(Tank finding the thing attacking the mothership = 3) They sort of get an idea of where to begin looking for the thing attacking the mothership.
Try again to get a comms system between Europe and North America, while my people start looking into takingover Africa.
(Getting comms set up = 4) Your people finally get the comms set up and you can now talk with some of your followers in North America.
(Making plans to takeover Africa = 3+1 For people on your team) After a lot of work you and your people come up with a plan to take over Africa.
Suddenly a small paper crane flies into your office and lands on your desk, on closer inspection it seems to be made from the pamphlet you sent out earlier.
NPC STUFFKeep defending the fief from the pumpkin zombies, and I will continue to use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.
(You using holy magic to kill = 3) You only manage to kill a few of them with your magic.
(Militia defending = 5) They kill dozens of the zombies.
(Civilians defending = 3) They kill the few that go over the wall.
We need to add more rooms to the monastery so we can house all the enlightened.
(You adding on to the monastery = 5) They add more rooms to the monastery.
(Followers adding on to the monastery = 4) They add even more rooms to the monastery.
(Followers adding on to the monastery = 6) They damage the monastery as while their adding more rooms.
"Damn zombies are useless."
Sacrifice all the zombies to summon more demons, and the demons will continue to attack the pumpkin zombies.
(Sacrificing the zombies to summon more demons = 5) You quickly gather all the zombies together and sacrifice them to summon more demons.
(Demons attacking = 3) They manage to kill a few of the zombies.
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.
(4) They eat a bunch of babies and stuff.
(1) They explode.
(4) They punch a bunch of stuff and break it.
(4) They set some stores on fire.
(6) They blow up all kind of stuff including themselves.
(6) They blow up a mountain and die.
(2) They stare at the sun.
(2) They hide in a cabinet.
(3) They punch a few eggs.
(4) They burn a few more stores down.
(2) They eat some dirt.
(3) They push over some cars.
(4) They smash a bunch of cars.
(2) They sit in a box and cry.
(5) They blow up several stores.
(2) They sit around spinning a bottle.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.
(6) They damage some stuff bringing all the new people in.
(5) They gather loads of people.
(1) The party gets to wild and they damage the commune.
(6) They gather lots of people and damage the commune at the same time.
(2) They smoke some weed.
Places in space:-
Percent of The Town destroyed: 9.47%-
Percent of Ziizo's Animal City destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Spacenoid mothership destroyed: 0%Percent of America destroyed: 31.95%-
Percent of Dustan Hache's fief destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Outsider's monastery destroyed: 14.53%-
Percent of Evil sorceress's fortress destroyed: 8.42%-
Percent of Spacenoid base destroyed: 0%Percent of Canada Earth destroyed 32.15%-
Percent of Pumpkin Hippy commune destroyed 26.26%Yoink
Health: FINE / flaming pants
Inventory: loaded shotgun, a few lighters, some rolling paper, chips, candy, soda, glass bottles of beer, different kinds of chips, big ass sword, sword surfing skills, beer
Kakaluncha / Emperor of Mankind costume / The Emperor of Mankind / Telepath / Able to teleport small items
Health: FINE
Inventory: a bowl, two animated trees, Ninja Elvis costume, The Flying Guillotine, manifesto about the Cult to the Supreme Being, air plane, blood pilot, Maximilien Robespierre's ghost, Napoleon Bonaparte's ghost, knows everything about coups, knows about different propaganda, laptop, Leon Trotsky's ghost, Vladimir Lenin's ghost, know everything about revolutions, 34 ghostly Russian troops, Robespierre costume, a bunch of candy, 100 ghosts in the afterlife, some radiation as an ally, some mecha parts, unknown amount of followers in North America, plan to takeover Europe, more radiation friends, plan to take over Africa, Comms that allow communication with North America
France: United, 314,852 follows, no radiation, one power plant, super efficient economy, the most stable, efficient, and self sustaining version of France EVER, global superpower, great again
Afterlife: a French puppet state, lead by distinguished puppers
Europe: back to what it was before the apocalypse, 2,426,321 followers
Dustan Hache / knight / blessed with strength
Health: MORE DAMAGE / broken arm in sling
Inventory: slightly damaged Plate armour, shield, sword, one small candy, bowl of candy, two bags of candy, even more candy, one factories worth of candy
Fiefdom: walls, lots of food, crops, Good moral, hunting party, water snake with arms that takes care of the crops, militia ready to fight some more injured
ziizo
Health: FINE
Inventory: road atlas, lime green hatchback with full tank of gas slightly damaged, large pipe, music CD, all kinds of cooking tools, mutant deer thing has the legendary laser gun, very big army of animals, zord manual, ULTRA-MEGA-ZORD made from ten zords and has nine animal pilots, space pirate ship, one partly finished space pirate ship
Animal city: traps, trenches all around, razor wire, landmines, fortified walls and positions, more mounted machine guns, improved to with stand being space, space worthy, in space, space port of pirates
Naturegirl1999 / doesn't have the power to switch bodies / has telekinesis
Health: DAMAGED
Inventory: three canned goods, some bottled water, three followers
CABL / Is a fully grown giant eucalyptus tree with a house in it / never able open a portal to the demon bloodsports dimension / giant sword arm / magic barrier filled with breathable atmosphere / power to make fire elementals from people that get burnt by you and your fire elementals, second prophet of FUNK
Health: SOME MORE DAMAGE
Inventory: living furniture, better dance moves than any tree, Holy FUNK book
Some weird, hellish, 666 degree Celsius, plane of existence: 7,542 fire elementals two injured members of the FUNKY Church, 7,351 Demonic Foliage members of the FUNKY Church, some more acidic spore sacs
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES / Is Angry Halloween Kaiju / soul magic / ULTRA OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN / combined with Samhain and Gates of Hell haunted house / blessing of strong bones and spookiness
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: 4000 page waiver that has to be signed to get into the haunted house if you sign it or read it you lose your soul, one soul, posters advertising the GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE, Smoke Mirrors's ankles, thirty souls, a bunch of demons, all of Earth's gumball machines, necronomicon, bigger suit case
The Canadian kitten / ability to fly / god powers / mind slightly crushed crushed / explosion proof
Health: DAMAGED
Inventory: several cans of food, can opener, some cans of food, some bottles of water, 9mm handgun, bike, first aid kit with aspirin a few bandages and a first aid pamphlet, knife, shotgun, rifle, .44 magnum revolver, anti-tank rifle
Enemy post / employee of the month
Health: FINE
Inventory: rock, has a job in a "office" organizing files and papers regarding new species and issues faced by the new world
Smoke Mirrors / Angelo and Diablo / couldn't lose your soul even if you wanted to / one ankle / angel magic / OVERDEITY OF ALL HOLIDAYS / on fire
Health: SOME MORE DAMAGED
Inventory: six million souls, "Totally Average Human"TM costume
Avetruetotheimperator / SPACE GUY / in almost destroyed Mecha with one missing leg and the other is badly damaged / vauge space psychic powers
Health: FINE
Inventory: one brand new mecha, and a slightly damaged tank, some earthnoids weapons, massive pile of candy, scientist, APC, infantry squad
Fortified base in a park, medical tent, fortified, repair equipment, device that allows trans port back to the planet
Medium sized fortress on the planet
Outsider / ascetic monk
Health: MORE DAMAGE
Inventory: 12 enlightened, 36 injured enlightened people, a bunch of tools, some of building materials, 782,172 enlightened pumpkin zombies
Monastery: farm, wall, lots of rooms
WyrdByrd / FUNK-Master / increases FUNKability
Health: FINE
Inventory: 15 FUNKY disciples, 23 FUNKY creatures, LAVA LAMP, DISCO BALL, STEREO, 36 people enlightened about the FUNK
FUNKY Church: Filled with FUNKY stuff, "Holy FUNK book", split between two parties
Evil sorceress
Health: FINE
Inventory: 385 demons
Former gas station now a proper fortress: high walls, towers, a moat, in the middle of nowhere
The country of Oman has been destroyed.
If you wear a costume you become whatever the costume depicts.
The more candy you have the more powerful you become.
There's a massive army of animals.
The apocalypse happened.
The town may or may not exist, and is now in space, has a wall built around it.
Ceres has been destroyed.
Jupiter has been destroyed.
Super Hell has been destroyed.
The Unholy Pail has been killed.
VY Canis Majoris has been destroyed.
There's a giant ball made from dead animals in the town.
There's a demon bloodsports dimension.
There's a portal to the Funkiverse in the town.
A giant pumpkin zombie army seven billion strong that hates everything but Canada and has free will.
The city with animals has traps.
The moon is much bigger.
Canada has be magically renamed to Earth.
The entire Earth has been covered with a wave of FUNK.
The moon is a DISCO BALL.
The FUNKY Church is a thing, and its divided, Half follows CABL and the other half follows WyrdByrd.
Large space station filled with aliens that are willing to buy your ill-gotten goods.