The first billion of the pumpkin zombie army has been killed, only five billion left to go.November 1, 7:30 AMIts sunny.The sky is clear.A giant pumpkin zombie army five billion strong as appeared and is destroying everything that isn't Canada then adding it to Canada, all of them have weapons now and they are also immune to brain alteration.The town the game started in has been lifted lifted into space, but people still in the town don't have to worry about air as it's in a bubble of breathable air.An evil sorceress is doing evil stuff.Everything on Earth and the town is washed in a wave of FUNKINESS.Kakaluncha didn't post for the second time so random action.SIT DOWN AND WATCH THE SHOW WITH MY NEW FRIENDS
SIP BEER AND TRY DECIDE ON INTERESTING, UNDERDOG COMPETITOR TO BARRACK FOR
(Watching the show = 6) You're offered a chair which you take and start watching the match, and its an incredibly brutal match with blood and guts everywhere.
(Sipping beer and finding an underdog to barrack for = 5) It takes several minutes and almost the entire beer before you find an underdog that lives long enough for you to be able to barrack for them, they seem to be a small demon that somehow is managing to kill demons twice its size.
Try to find the leader of the town, if successful, ask if they know any magic and would be willing to teach me and the other humans
(Finding the leader of the town = 4) It takes a bit of searching you finally find the towns mayor, he's sitting in is office doing paperwork when your and your group arrive.
(Asking if they know magic = 1) You ask about his magical knowledge and he tells you that he doesn't know any magic and doesn't know anyone in town that knows any.
Keep defending the city.
Animal army finishes the city preparations.
(Defending the city = 3+2 For Ultra-Mega-Zord) You continue to use your zord powers to destroy massive swaths of the incoming hoards keeping them away from the city.
(Animals finishing the preparations to make the city space worthy = 5) The animals gather their best and brightest to design and build engines, life support, heat shielding, and various other things needed to get the city into space, and somehow they get it all built and assembled in record time, all that's left to do is install it.
Drop another big boom rock on the alien camp, keep pushing in the mind crush battle.
(Finding another big rock = 4) You again use your magic to summon another big ass rock.
(Dropping the rock on the alien camp = 3) You then drop it on the camp and miss the majority of the aliens and only manage to crush the unmanned armoured car.
(Continuing to mind crush the alien = 1+2 For god powers) You continue try to mind crush the alien, but suddenly you feel your mind being crushed even more by the alien, your not sure how much more you can take.
Spawn more Demonic Foliage and keep rebuilding the town into my image.
(Spawning more demonic foliage = 3) You only manage to make a few more of the demonic foliage.
(Rebuilding the town in your image = 3) Your people seem to be more interested in messing about than rebuilding the town, but they do manage to rebuild a few things.
Wake up and look out the window.
(4) You crawl out of your opossum pile and crawl up to the window and look around, you see that the pumpkin zombies are dead and there are several dead humans laying around, you also see several flaming guys and plant creatures rebuilding some of the destroyed buildings around, you also see that your in space.
Attempt to summon the motherships, of P-Funk fame.
(6) You spend a few minutes of dancing the FUNKY dance that should summon the P-Funk Mothership, but you seem to have summoned the wrong ship and after looking at it for a bit you realize its an alien spacecraft of some kind and after waiting a bit you guess its ether not hostile or it hasn't seen you and that it seems to have been around for town for awhile, you think your FUNKY dancing might have removed its cloaking or something.
While I wait for the crane to find the Emporer, craft the perfect "Totally Average Human" TM outfit.
(Crane getting to the Emperor = 3) According to your tracking spell the crane is still flying over the ocean, it seems to be heading towards Europe.
(Crafting a "Totally Average Human"
TM outfit = 5) After a bit of work gathering materials and crafting you manage to make a "Totally Average Human"
TM costume, you've seemed to have done an incredible job on it as it looks and feels like you skinned a human to get it.
Push father! Mind crush my enemy once and for all!
Army keeps doing its thing! Including calling for reinforcements.
(Mind crushing the sniper = 5) You continue to crush the mind of the sniper, and so far you seem to be winning this battle.
(Army doing its thing = 5) Your troops continue to monitor the situation outside the camp.
Then suddenly a big rock falls from the sky and crushes the unmanned armoured car.
(Calling for reinforcements = 3) Your superiors are wondering why the town your started in is in space, and sense your not fighting they only send a new APC and an infantry squad to replace the ones that got killed earlier.
Use my connections to start taking over Europe.
(1+2 For all that stuff you have) You have your people start getting ready to takeover the rest of Europe, but you don't get much further than planing the take over.
NPC STUFFEveryone continue to defend the fief, and I will use my holy powers to kill the pumpkin zombies.
(You using holy magic to kill = 6) You again use your holy magic to kill off dozens of the creatures, but you accidentally damage the fief in the process.
(Militia defending = 2+1 For wall) They manage to kill off several of the creatures.
(Civilians defending = 5) They kill everything that gets over the walls.
Keep enlightening the pumpkin zombies.
(You enlightening pumpkin zombies = 5) You manage to enlighten even more of them.
(Followers enlightening pumpkin zombies = 6) They mange to get so many new enlightened that they accidentally damage the monastery doors on the way in.
(Followers enlightening pumpkin zombies = 3) They only manage to get a few more of them.
Have the demons and zombies attack the pumpkin zombies, and while that's happening I summon more demons.
(Demons attacking = 3) The demons only kill a few of the attacking creatures.
(Zombies attacking = 5) They kill dozens of the creatures.
(Summoning more demons = 6-1 For magical powers) You use your VAST amounts of magical power to summon even more demons!
Destroy everything that isn't Canada.
(6) They all blow up a gas station and die.
(6) They eat so many people that they explode.
(1) They explode and die.
(4) They burn down some houses.
(3) They break a few windows.
(5) They knock down several buildings.
(4) They break a bridge.
(6) They start playing around with landmines and they explode.
(3) They knock over some cars.
(6) They all fall of a cliff and die.
(5) They blow up a bunch of buildings.
(6) They all die when they blow up a dam.
(4) They break all kinds of random shit.
(6) They blow up a building and then it falls on them and kills them.
(3) They burn a shrub.
(6) They all die while destroying a military base.
Get other pumpkin zombies to join.
(2) They sit around in a drum circle and smoke some weed.
(6) They get manage to get dozens of them to join, but they break some of the communes stuff in the process.
(3) They convince a few to join.
(1) Like bummer man, they damaged the commune instead of whatever they were supposed to be doing.
Percent of The Town destroyed: 5.26%Percent of America destroyed: 20.15%-
Percent of Ziizo's Animal City destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Dustan Hache's fief destroyed: 7.9%-
Percent of Outsider's monastery destroyed: 7.23%-
Percent of Evil sorceress's fortress destroyed: 0%Percent of Canada Earth destroyed 22.47%-
Percent of Pumpkin Hippy commune destroyed 8.43%Yoink
Health: FINE / flaming pants
Inventory: loaded shotgun, some marijuana, a few lighters, some rolling paper, chips, candy, soda, glass bottles of beer, different kinds of chips, big ass sword, sword surfing skills, beer
Kakaluncha / Emperor of Mankind costume / The Emperor of Mankind / Telepath / Able to teleport small items
Health: FINE
Inventory: a bowl, two animated trees, Ninja Elvis costume, The Flying Guillotine, manifesto about the Cult to the Supreme Being, air plane, blood pilot, Maximilien Robespierre's ghost, Napoleon Bonaparte's ghost, knows everything about coups, knows about different propaganda, laptop, Leon Trotsky's ghost, Vladimir Lenin's ghost, know everything about revolutions, 34 ghostly Russian troops, Robespierre costume, a bunch of candy, 100 ghosts in the afterlife, some radiation as an ally, some mecha parts, unknown amount of followers in North America, plan to takeover Europe
France: United, 314,852 follows, no radiation, one power plant, super efficient economy, the most stable, efficient, and self sustaining version of France EVER, global superpower, great again
Afterlife: a French puppet state, lead by distinguished puppers
Dustan Hache / knight / blessed with strength
Health: MORE DAMAGE / broken arm in sling
Inventory: slightly damaged Plate armour, shield, sword, one small candy, bowl of candy, two bags of candy, even more candy, one factories worth of candy
Fiefdom: walls, lots of food, crops, Good moral, hunting party, water snake with arms that takes care of the crops, militia ready to fight some more injured
ziizo
Health: FINE
Inventory: road atlas, lime green hatchback with full tank of gas slightly damaged, large pipe, music CD, all kinds of cooking tools, mutant deer thing has the legendary laser gun, very big army of animals, zord manual, ULTRA-MEGA-ZORD made from ten zords and has nine animal pilots.
Animal city: traps, trenches all around, razor wire, landmines, fortified walls and positions, more mounted machine guns, improved to with stand being space, all equipment needed to be space worthy
Naturegirl1999 / doesn't have the power to switch bodies / has telekinesis
Health: FINE
Inventory: three canned goods, some bottled water, three followers
CABL / Is a fully grown giant eucalyptus tree with a house in it house / never able open a portal to the demon bloodsports dimension / giant sword arm / magic barrier filled with breathable atmosphere / power to make fire elementals from people that get burnt by you and your fire elementals
Health: SOME DAMAGE
Inventory: living furniture, better dance moves than any tree
Some weird, hellish, 666 degree Celsius, plane of existence: 8,090 fire elementals two injured, 8,256 Demonic Foliage, some more acidic spore sacs
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES / Is Angry Halloween Kaiju / soul magic / ULTRA OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN / combined with Samhain and Gates of Hell haunted house / blessing of strong bones and spookiness
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: 4000 page waiver that has to be signed to get into the haunted house if you sign it or read it you lose your soul, one soul, posters advertising the GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE, Smoke Mirrors's ankles, thirty souls, a bunch of demons, all of Earth's gumball machines, necronomicon, bigger suit case
The Canadian kitten / ability to fly / god powers / mind moderately crushed
Health: FINE
Inventory: several cans of food, can opener, some cans of food, some bottles of water, 9mm handgun, bike, first aid kit with aspirin a few bandages and a first aid pamphlet, knife, shotgun, rifle, .44 magnum revolver, anti-tank rifle
Enemy post / employee of the month
Health: FINE
Inventory: rock, has a job in a "office" organizing files and papers regarding new species and issues faced by the new world
Smoke Mirrors / Angelo and Diablo / couldn't lose your soul even if you wanted to / one ankle / angel magic / OVERDEITY OF ALL HOLIDAYS / on fire
Health: SOME DAMAGED
Inventory: six million souls, some hippy costumes, "Totally Average Human"TM costume
Avetruetotheimperator / SPACE GUY / in damaged Mecha / vauge space psychic powers
Health: FINE
Inventory: one brand new mecha, and a slightly damaged tank, some earthnoids weapons, massive pile of candy, scientist, APC, infantry squad
Base in a park, medical tent, fortified, repair equipment
Outsider / ascetic monk
Health: MORE DAMAGE
Inventory: 12 enlightened, 36 injured enlightened people, a bunch of tools, some of building materials, 355,388 enlightened pumpkin zombies
Monastery: farm, wall
WyrdByrd / FUNK-Master / increases FUNKability
Health: FINE
Inventory: 15 FUNKY disciples, 23 FUNKY creatures, LAVA LAMP, DISCO BALL, STEREO, 36 people enlightened about the FUNK
Evil sorceress
Health: FINE
Inventory: 15 zombies, 124 demons
Former gas station now a proper fortress: high walls, towers, a moat, in the middle of nowhere
The country of Oman has been destroyed.
If you wear a costume you become whatever the costume depicts.
The more candy you have the more powerful you become.
There's a massive army of animals.
The apocalypse happened.
The town may or may not exist, and is now in space.
Ceres has been destroyed.
Jupiter has been destroyed.
Super Hell has been destroyed.
The Unholy Pail has been killed.
VY Canis Majoris has been destroyed.
There's a giant ball made from dead animals in the town.
There's a demon bloodsports dimension.
There's a portal to the Funkiverse in the town.
A giant pumpkin zombie army seven billion strong that hates everything but Canada and has free will.
The city with animals has traps.
The moon is much bigger.
Canada has be magically renamed to Earth.
The entire Earth has been covered with a wave of FUNK.
The moon is a DISCO BALL