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[Quaksna]

Four part of the records. This thread is now a hot spot of various artistic and fun projects. That's... Good!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"The critics were right, Eat your mushrooms is top-tier ☼masterwork☼  work." said Spriggans, concerning the Q'uaksnatic artworks. "Read it myself, it's full of thrill and surprises. And radioactive fungi... Send this message to the whole Bay!"


"This great book of randomness says, two slash ten is my destined number."


"Rolling? Great!" said PlumpHelmetMan.


"Four! Don't forget to share your relevant modifiers with us. Many do keep them for themselves, hypocrites!"


"Oh. OH! A small RaidTheDumpsite game! Woohoo!" rejoiced IonMatrix.


"Oh. OH! Two! Two dots! Yipee!"


"Four is number of mine..." whispered scourge728. Q'uaksna, enthusiastic about what'll come next, rolled four too.


"We must twist this story into some fantastic full-of-art fun thing!" proposed PlumpHelmetMan. "Like about that kobold guy or cheese making!"


"I can handle this..." croaked Q'uaksna. "That poster can come true. Bay Watchers against the mushrooms! Can they find out way out, and come victorious with their sanity unscathed? I can record our story, immortalize it... Even more!"


"Do it, draw!!! Draw!!!" shouted PlumpHelmetMan.


"But who shall become the GarbageMan?"



The wizard spoke, as they like to do:
"Within depths of a millennia old eucalyptus forest the floor brown with aged leaves and splashes of light paper bark the sorcerer slug slumps and casts a spell upon itself (protection against salt)
Three nunchaku slugu move 20ft towards you menacing with a hunger only a mushroom could sate.

"all your mushrooms are ours, hand them over and you will be spared"
Q'uaksna, PlumpHelmetMan, scourge728. It is your turn to act."


"Hmmmm... Millenia-old..." hummed Eric Blank. "Eucalyptus forest... Lost my concentration again, but..."


"Got it! Ancient perpetual bonfire, hah! Genial!"


"I am a plump helmet man." said PlumpHelmetMan. "I'll sacrifice a bit of my cap, to protect my brethren.


"Eric Blank I'm going to need you to roll knowledge history or wilderness.
PlumpHelmetMan you break off a juicy piece of your head and offer it to sate the slugs
*rolls behind DM screen*

The slugcerer lurches foward and takes the offering, splitting it into 8 pieces each Slime ball is eating, in starvation they sought to harm now they are distracted by the meals... For how long though..."


"I am rolling twenty, okay? I pick wilderness. I also demand to be a sun druid kobold. Not sun dried, druid. Okay? Got it all?"


"This is one, see? One. With this one, I am healing the damaged cap. The word of this day shall be sporulation."


"I am starting to overthink, friends..." said PlumpHelmetMan, as his cap regenerated. "Can be a class assigned to us? I would like rogue, or mage..."

[Spriggans]

I love you quaksna

[King Zultan]

This thread only has ten pages and its already one of the best ones.

[Lunardog15]

whats the tale hall of fame thing
nominate this

[Superdorf]

Bring on the improvised dual-wielding!

The goblet and bag of plumphelmets shall lead us to victory!

You don't need no stinking dwarf weapons!



You shall crush your enemies with the very tools used to bind your fellow fungi: the drink-cup, and the food-bag!



You'd fill the backpack with mushrooms if you had any left. In the meantime, this will have to do. You're equipped!
...Now what?



What do you do?

[King Zultan]

We need to find an dwarf, then kill it for eating our brethren.

[Strik3r]

We need to find an dwarf, then kill it for eating our brethren.

We're nowhere strong enough to survive a direct confrontation with anything.

We need to become very stealthy.

[King Zultan]

We need to find an dwarf, then kill it for eating our brethren.

We're nowhere strong enough to survive a direct confrontation with anything.

We need to become very stealthy.

That means we need a stealth training montage!

[Superdorf]

We need to find an dwarf, then kill it for eating our brethren.

There's two dwarves right next to you!



You briefly consider ending their miserable lives...

We're nowhere strong enough to survive a direct confrontation with anything.

We need to become very stealthy.

...but decide your skills are not quite worthy of such a confrontation just yet.
Perhaps if you were better at sneaking up on your enemies...

That means we need a stealth training montage!

...yes, you must learn to be stealthy!
You make your nauseous way to the fortress entrance.



NINJA MUSHROOM STEALTH MODE: ACTIVATED



You set out counterclockwise along the wall's edge.



The last scraps of your brothers still wriggle unpleasantly inside you... there are many convulsions in your fungal belly.



You soldier bravely on... and after awhile, the convulsions subside! You can move much faster now.



You've reached the outside world!



A fierce swordself watches over the land above you. You tiptoe boldly through the trench beneath him; he does not see.



After two laps around the fortress, you've begun to understand the basics of sneaking! You move quickly and quietly, wary of where you place your feet.



Now for harder fare! You lap the fort once more for good measure, then slip out to where you saw that elf...



The elf stands still, resolutely watching the horizon for intruders.



Foolish elf! He did not expect an intruder from behind!
You find you can slip right up to the corner of the elf's eye, and still escape notice.



You dance back and forth behind the elf for awhile.





You're getting pretty good at this!



For the last leg of your training, you slip into a nearby grove of trees, under the shadow of the mountain.



Here you are nigh-invisible-- a purple shadow in the undergrowth.



Dropping to all fours, you crawl from place to place, your senses keen to sun and wind and ground.





You even climb a tree!



Noting the line-of-vision of a nearby swan



you slip around it, keeping low to the ground



duck behind a nearby mass of earth



and



Ahh-hahahaha









You have learned much this day!


You're quite a bit better at sneaking about now! Your training complete, you turn your thoughts to murder.
You could go attack those dwarves you saw earlier. There were an awful lot of elves around, but surely a bunch of cowardly elves wouldn't interfere?
Then again, you're not actually any better a fighter than you were before you entered these woods. Perhaps you're in over your head... and is it really necessary to go slaughtering random civilians?
Then again, they're complicit in mushroom-trafficking-- an unforgivable crime!

What do you do?

[PlumpHelmetMan]

These people enslaved your kind and deprived you of your most basic rights as a sentient being. You owe them nothing. Operation: Mushroom Murder-Spree is go!

[Wizard of Manaia]

Why do PlumpHelmetMen digest internally?

[Superdorf]

Well, going by adventure mode... they vomit. The fact that plump helmet men can eat at the same speed as other adventuring folk, and then vomit suggests to me that they have some kind of digestive system to vomit from.

But I'll be honest, I'm just winging this. I'm... not really considering the question of plump helmet biology so much as I'm trying to figure out how to describe a puking mushroom in a relatively consistent fashion. I'm-- ah-- not being particularly scientific about it.

[PlumpHelmetMan]

Not to mention that in the DF community "science" is basically just a word used to justify doing various stupid and destructive shit, beyond that it doesn't have much practical meaning in the game.

[Yoink]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

_grisha5   

[King Zultan]

What do you do?

We must train our combat skills by punching that swan to DEATH!