"Well, that's a brilliant idea!" said Superdorf. "By taking mushrooms, you'll get revenge on these hippies, who pressed them in order to extract their vital energy!
Turning on the shinobi fungal protocol! Passing right past this tavern keeper..."
"Aha! But what trickery is this??? A barrel, container of round, made from boulder of rock! Peculiar these dwarven crafts are... Eh, I need to roll again..."
"Oh yeah, thrice seven on 3d100! That means, with one single hand, you grab this stone nonsense, for there sure is wine in it. With the another, you grab golden goblet. For you have plump helmet passive ability, you don't have to roll. Where were we? Ah, yes."
"Oh no, you've been detected by nearby drunks!"
"And the landlord is confused by your spear!"
"This spear! In case you would be confused, too!
Turning off the shinobi fungal protocol! Yet, you dance your way out of this beveragous mansion! The hippies aren't interested in pursuing you... Clever decision!"
"This is the very first time your senses came to contact with beverage. It makes sad beings joyful, sane beings insane, gives you the understanding of mushrooms! Let's drink!"
"Ah, your roll was unsuccessful. You feel indifferent after consuming this fungal brew. That means..."
"Let's roll on!"
"Oh! The very aspects of shrooms are dripping out of you?!? What's happening?!! My table! Erm... No. Still nothing! You feel sick, being drained of mushroomish knowledge... What now?"
"We must carry on!" said King Zultan. "Begin our grand adventure! But we're going to need arms and armor, as well as food. Let's liberate all of our kin from the tyranny of broker!"
"Okay then. But, for the dwarven craft, as we already saw, is not suitable for us, due to its weirdness, we must find alternatives! A seax, sword of short, or a shield! A buckler, heater, or another, if I'm not mistaken, adventurers are known for carrying these."
"Be it however it is, you are going to liberate the imprisoned! By the depot of trade, there surely must be oppressed mushroom people, waiting for their prince charming. And there are! Five of them! All yours now! Come, brothers, I'll show you the word of free fungus!"
"Also, down in the fortress, there are heaps of gear, clothes, armor, weapons, from steel to lame llama cloth... What should we seek out?
Man, really, I can't afford another dwarven armory starting set! These mushrooms will ruin me!"
"Wolly *hic* not!" said Spriggans, resting on the floor with his fellow cats. "We found and *hic* fleed oul blethlen, and, ash the mushroom *hic* knowledge shay, we musht conshume them."
King Zultan nodded. "It is the only way..."