The bed is just heavenly, I've never been more comfortable! I'd probably appreciate it more if I liked Mimikyu, of course.
When I wake up, the sky is awash with colour. Mottled Petrel and I hang out for a bit, basking in the chitinous beauty of the Vivillon flock.
A little ways below us, SQman gets to meet exotic pokemon too!
I hate to lose a metalsmith! Still, the accident did highlight the importance of a sizeable ore stockpile near the furnaces. Our metalworkers shouldn't be trekking into the deeps to fetch ore! We have
wastes of space glazers and
useless shit-haulers cheese makers (very fine people, I have a lot of respect for them) to do that. On the bright side, the beast is captured and trained! Give nickname to the captured Noivern?
Ok, so good news and bad news. The good news is the fortress Name Rater chose Rainhawk for our Noivern - a flipping awesome name, if you don't mind my saying.
That bad news is that Rainhawk threw a tantrum on his way to the pasture and gotten beaten into pulp by the fortress militia.
Oh well, Noivern leather is a nice colour for a handbag. And we've got a real shortage of butcherables around, I can tell you - to get the hospital up to regulations I'll need tallow for soap, and I always need leather for the trendy line of cloaks I've been selling. But it seems like everything in this fort is somebody's beloved pet!
Well, almost everything...
It's fitting, really. These guys lure us into the depths with fish, then kill us. We lure them into the fort with prickle berries and the promise of a new family, then kill them. It's the circle of the life of the dwarf that's fighting the brutal guerrilla war with the population of demon eels. Or something.
No Outpost Liason, which is a shame! I'd hoped to ask for another barony. Still, as manager-for-life, I can always ask next year. Last time I got a dictatorship running, Maximum Spin overthrew me with a mob coup, the jerk! But I've got no rivals here, so I can't think of any circumstances that would cause me to step down. Paddywagon Man is a fact of life, babies!
Still, the merchants bring more leather, and a couple of nice pokemon. They're all on offer, though if nobody else calls dibs on the Gabite I'm so there.
It's a shame though, I was so hoping to get a pet Noivern. They're such a cool pokemon! Oh well, if we're lucky we'll meet some new exotic pokemon soon.
OH HECK OH NO NOT THAT!
The ground rumbles as a great roar of challenge echoes through the fort. Frantically, I turn to RedMageCole.
"Cole! What was that? Oh Arceus, what was that roaring?"
Cole, trembling with fear, stutters out the answer.
"That's... that's a Zygarde. They're avengers and guardians of nature. And judging by your charcoal consumption habits and stripmining addiction, I'd say you've -"
He doesn't need to say anything more, and I don't give the chance to. I've already pieced it together.
"It's an EEEEEEEEEEELF!" I scream, picking up a spear and rushing at the gate. Thankfully, Opuntia and Mottled Petrel jump on me and manage to restrain me while the lever is pulled to shut the gates. Cole jumps too, only he jumps on Petrel. Seems like he was trying to get them off of me so I could charge the Zygarde, for some reason or other. I guess he's got faith in my ability to take it down! Thanks, Cole. It means a lot.
Anyways, we managed to get all the dwarves inside, thankfully. Still, we're under siege.
A couple of our grass pokemon were outside grazing when the walls went up, and are brutally murdered.
I mean... go missing! They're just missing. I'm sure they'll turn up.
Damn I hate dealing with the bereaved. Great guardian of nature though, real nice. Leaves the dwarves in peace and butchers a peaceful tree turtle as it grazes. Smooth.
Still, with the gates shut, we should be safe.
Although, ehehehe, I may have, well, hehe...
I was going to make a bunker for the marksdwarves? And then I forgot about it? And it's sort of a... hole in the roof? Zygarde hasn't seemed to notice yet, though, so I manage to catch a little more sleep, worn out by the excitement.
When I awake, it is to the most horrendous sound I've ever heard. Worse than the chanting of the possessed masons, worse than the roar of the Zygarde. Worse than the hordes of the undead that claimed my husband or the demonic hosts that overran Pocketball.
The foooooort is aliiiiive, with the sound of muuuuusic - and the sound of NO WORK being done despite my VERY CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS!
I grab Obok the Metalcrafter as he dances by in a party hat. I rear my hand back to slap him, but manage to restrain myself, and opt to suplex him down a flight of stairs instead.
"What's gotten into this fort? It's my blade weed, isn't it! I'll kill that Asmel! I'll kill this whole fort if that's what it takes! EVERYBODY GET BACK TO MAKING CHARCOAL!" I scream, mildly hysteric. I hurl a limestone throne at the nearest cluster of dancers to punctuate the point, then lay back into Obok. "Listen to this music! Listen to my fists, Redgem! AAAAH!"
Opuntia taps me on the shoulder, then manages to duck my windmilling arms for long enough to explain the situation.
"We ran out of wood in the stockpile, boss. And charcoal. And we can't get more with the fort besieged, so... we thought we'd... take the day off?"
Well shit.
See that? We've got whole tunnels full of gold to be smelted. We've got tunnels of copper, silver, and iron waiting to be turned into riches, vicious weapons and heavy armour. And we've still got my tomb to pave, you know how much pine that'll take. We can't afford to be held up by a lack of forests to rape! That - that Zygarde tricked us! This was his plan all along!
"Ah yes, the day off. That's a great idea Opuntia. Now armour up."
Opuntia blows his war horn, and I wring my hands with glee. Let nature throw everything it has at me! I'll weather its every storm! With the axes that chop, the picks that bite, my soldiers at my side, I shall stand atop the
ashes and scream my name to a shattered world! For I am - wait, what?
We caught it? In a... just in a regular cage?
Well, I'll admit. I'm glad that's over. Still seems a little... too easy. Like it was just a distraction, almost. Like the real mastermind... is still out there.
Oh nooooooo!
Curse you, Team Kobold!