The journal of "Blueturtle" ïlunzuntîr, overseer (mostly against his will) of Doomhollow (N.D. 506)1st Granite: Apparently I'm overseer now. I'm told that I've just got to keep the fort together for a year and I'm free. I guess this shouldn't be so hard-
Oh. That sucks.
3rd Granite: I wonder who left half the fields on fallow. We're out of everything except plump helmets, so I'm changing that now.
This would be much less concerning if he wasn't in the hallway full of sharp things.
4th Granite: Shorast walked by the pile of dead goblins and got horrified. Why is she even a hunter if she's going to puke every time she sees a skull?
I'm torn between bridging the bodies or leaving them there out of spite.
9th Granite:
Is she going to do this literally every time she walks past the- Yeah. Fine. Atom smasher time.
13th Granite: Hey look, we've been promoted!
16th Granite: Now what.
18th Granite: Well on the upside, the ettin's dead. On the downside, it ate a bunch of elves.
Sorry, did I write “on the downside”? I’m pretty sure elves getting eaten is poetic justice or something.
In other news, I would like to know who had the
amazing idea to store corpses UNDERGROUND.
20th Granite: Expanding the farm plots. Also, did whoever designed the original farm have something against using all the available space or something? I'm pretty sure that gap around the edges is not necessary.
26th Granite:
No we don't.
Fine, I'll take it.
1st Slate:
Place your bets on what we get, friends!
12th Slate:
Well, at least it wasn't a chair or something A CHAIR WOULD BE MUCH BETTER THAN THIS
17th Slate: Well, here's the idea. There's some plants that only grow on surface soil for some reason, so just for variety, in case we ever have to hole up in the fort for an extended siege, it would be nice to have a sample of the surface, no? That way there would be absolutely no reason to leave the fort.
The obvious solution is to channel a hole down into the rock layer and drop a block of dirt down into it.
Slate:
WE DID IT
WE DID IT GUYS WE'RE THE MOUNTAINHOME NOW
Funny. Going through my notes, it appears that I completely forgot to record the date of this event. Perhaps I got too caught up in the excitement.
1st Felsite::
Okay, I'm dumb.
2nd Felsite:
Oh no.
Oh dear Armok… what have I done?
Scourge? Dead? Our engraving machine?
That is a bitter blow indeed. Half our masterpieces were his.
Has Id gone mad yet?
So far she’s doing fine. With luck, time will soothe the wounds her mind sustained during the war.
6th Felsite: I’m pretty sure this is the bit that fell.
I must have ordered the bottom floor mined before the top floor was completely channeled, leading to a piece of floor with no support. The project can continue, with more caution employed.
9th Felsite: Today, we embark on what will perhaps be the most important venture in the history of this Fortress: The construction of a palace for our monarch, His Majesty King Urdim Notokivish of The Greatest Tombs. Every detail of this grand residence must be carefully chosen to befit the grandeur of our ruler, starting with its location, which should draw the eye from miles away, in the heart of our grand metropolis, yet at the same time high above it.
Who am I kidding? I’m putting him between Dining and Storage.
12th Felsite: The excavation of the King Box seems to be quite the group effort.
Also, we’re completely out of cookable foods. Time for more farms?
Also, the king has blocked the export of cages. Go him, I guess?
21st Felsite:
Make up your mind.
25th Felsite:
Becomes much less impressive when you realize that it translates to “The Pale Aquamarine”.
3rd Hematite: I had the King Box engraved and now it just looks psychedelic.
In other news, this happened!
4th Hematite: I almost forgot, what’s the King useful for?
Nothing. Great. We also have his youngest daughter here, and she’s… less useless.
10th Hematite: It’s only now that I realize you ALREADY had a garbage dump in the form of a lava hole. This kind of thing should be covered in the orientation packet, guys.
Also, there should be an orientation packet.
Would you like another dorf? If so, specify occupation/gender and I'll try to find you one.