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[IamanElfCollaborator]

"Hm, yes, Keith has a point. A goddess like myself doesn't have to do EVERYTHING a mortal asks her for free. Yes-"
"Osborne? What? Anyway, yes, yes, we'll discuss whatever you want for payment when we get our stuff inside. Can't be paying people before delivery, you know how it is, right? Just follow me."

[Praefectus Screptum]

"No MMHPH! Will MMHM in a moment."
Jarvis gave a muffled sigh as soon as he heard one of the party members expecting to be paid for helping (AND that goddess that was proving to be very questionable), at this point he preferred to just...Focus on the task on his hand and follow the goblin.

[SeriousConcentrate]

"Oh, and one other thing."

"If this is some kinda half-assed ambush, I'm going to suplex you AND your boys so hard you'll look like bowling pins stuck in the dirt, and then I'm taking everything you have. I'm not kidding when I say I need the money."

[IamanElfCollaborator]

"Yeah, yeah, your friend already said that much. Don't need to keep threatening me, y'know."
As the goblin leads the group towards the trees, they witness the last possible thing they could ever have possibly expected, among the many permutations of enemy ambushes that have run through their heads.

.....which is, a genuinely broken wagon, a broken wooden wheel lying on its side near a tree and a bunch of armed caravan guards sitting around in a circle playing a game of what appears to be poker, a mix of humans and goblins who probably flunked out of Lindblum Academy on account of failing adventuring exams. A goblin in a reddish robe is sitting along the back of the wagon, rubbing his chin, before he looks up. His eyes light up and he claps, standing up.
"Ah. You brought help, brother."
"Yeah. Not sure I should've, but....here we are, I found a bunch of guys to help out."

[SeriousConcentrate]

"You guys look more like father and son than brothers to me. So anyway what do you need us for when you got all these guards?"

[IamanElfCollaborator]

"Well, he's the older one. He got all the looks, I got the smarts, man. As for why we need ya, well...you know how it is with gate guards. They'll think we're a bunch of thieves if we-"
"You know what, Guildenstern, we can stop with the act. These guys seem pretty smart. Well, not entirely an act."
"Rosencrantz-"
"He WAS going to try to sell some of the crap we're carrying in addition to asking you to help us lift our stuff."
"Now, now, ladies and gentlemen, I can assure you, we only carry the finest-"
"He dug some old gear out of the dumps in Balamb and we're trying to resell them. Crappy, I know, but we're trying to make up some old debts my brother here decided to get into. You mind helping us out a little bit?"
"It was an investment in a dream brothel and casino, Ross! How was I to know they were going to get shut down by the coppers?"
"Gil, that was a scam and you know it! That was our savings you tossed down the drain for that investment, you know?"

[Praefectus Screptum]

"...."
"When I MPPHM I saw it MMPMH, this happens."

[IamanElfCollaborator]

"Hey, man, don't blame me for this. I'm just trying to be a good older brother, you know?"
"Maybe if you hadn't ratted us out, they would've bought some of the stuff!"
"Trying to sell them expired male enhancement meds wasn't going to fly! What do you think these guys are, retirees?"

As the brothers squabble, you notice a piece of paper drift out suddenly from the wagon, blown out by the wind and settling by the foot of the nearest member of the group.

[kj1225]

Keilee, who had stood slightly in front of Keith in case this had been an ambush like people were saying, looked down and after a moment picked up the paper, looking over it curiously.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

As Keilee turns the paper, she realises it's a drawing of a girl, in that odd Kaiseian style that the Revivians claimed to have brought over to Generia.

Spoiler: The girl on the paper. (click to show/hide)

When Keilee looks up from the paper, Serena taps her on the shoulder.
"Ahhh.....people? We....uh, that guy's been staring at us an awfully long time...."
Indeed, two or three of the guards have looked up from their card game, eyes affixed on Asuna. One of the goblin guards hurriedly puts away another, wooden image of the girl on the drawing, his eyes very intently glaring at Asuna.

The brothers, if they noticed, don't let on, instead continuing their squabble over Guildenstern's debts.

[kj1225]

Keilee looks between all the signs of trouble brewing, and decides to quickly cover up the picture before motioning Asuna over to her, hopefully to get some context for what's going on.

[SeriousConcentrate]

"Yo, you guys got a problem with the angry girl?"

Keith pushed back his coat and placed his hand on the handle of his axe.

"Because you keep glaring like that, I'm going to think we have a problem."

[Praefectus Screptum]

"Just MPHPM is going on now?"
"Please don't MPMPMH me these MPMH are plotting something MPMHPM."

[Powder Miner]

Asuna appeared to be gobsmacked at the sight of an actual broken wagon, and for a few moments she actually sounded genuinely apologetic.
:"...oh. There's... actually a broken wagon. Wow, I, uh... I really thought we would get ambushed, because the broken wagon thing sounds super suspicious. I'm actually really sorry about th--"
Then Keilee gestured her over, Asuna saw the paper, and saw the woodcut the guard was hurriedly putting away. Instantly, her expression became distant and resigned.
:"... ... ...look, if nobody mentions any arc other than Gun Gale Online, we're not gonna have any problems."

[IamanElfCollaborator]

The goblin's eyes suddenly shift towards the drawing, then to Asuna. He frowns, looking apologetically at Asuna.
"Oh....what are you talking about? Sorry, I just saw that drawing slip out the back; that's mine. That's....actually of my wife, Asahi; she's Revivian, likes this weird...novel thing all the Revivians seem to keep talking about, but she's nice. Works as a baker in Methiant. Haven't seen her or our kids in two weeks, going to see her after we're done in Begnin. Haven't seen her in so long...."

The others, however, still look Asuna dead on. At Keith standing up with his axe, they look at each other, then at the other guards who aren't the goblin guard.
"So, she IS one of them!"
"The church's paying two hundred rhea for reward money just to have pictures of someone like her! Maybe they'll pay us more if we bring her there in person!"
"Two hundred? Shit, that's four times what I make a month! Let's get her!"
The guards begin to round on the party, weapons drawn.

The goblin guard, realising exactly what was going on, waves his arms frantically, knocking his sword out of the way.
"Wait! What are you guys doing?! Stop! Aww, man, and I was hoping to get home on time!"

Guildenstern seems to have been aroused by the sound of "reward money", however, immediately breaking away from the conversation to grab his bow to join his guards.
"You hear that, Ross? Two HUNDRED rhea! Come on, we need the money! This could be the beginning of the end of our problems! Just...don't kill anyone, okay, lads?"
"No no no no wait! Gil! Damn it! Oh boy...."
Aaaaand there goes any chance of getting Gil to back down. Well....best I can do is keep this guy out of trouble and hope we don't get our asses kicked too hard.

Serena shrinks behind the party as the chaos begins to unfold, using the rest of the party as her collective human shield.
"Don't let them hurt my beautiful face! I'm a goddess! I'm too pretty to die here!"

~~~~Turn 1~~~~
Player Phase
~~Map Theme (Pray Me Revive)~~

Spoiler: HP (click to show/hide)

Party:
Asuna "Rio" Ito: 18/18 (Slim Sword)
Jarvis "Wigglerman" Samek: 20/20 (Slim Lance)
Keilee: 18/18 (Worm)
Keith Piper: 20/20 (Hatchet)
Vlad: 17/17 (Soldier's Drum)
Serena: 15/15 (Heal)

Enemies:
Novice Duelist A: 18/18 (Wooden Sword) (Race: Goblin)
Novice Fighter A: 20/20 (Iron Axe) (Race: Revivian)
Novice Lancer A: 20/20 (Iron Lance) (Race: Generian)
Novice Sniper A: 16/16 (Iron Bow) (Race: Generian)

Novice Duelist B: 18/18 (Wooden Sword) (Race: Goblin)
Novice Fighter B: 20/20 (Iron Axe) (Race: Revivian)
Novice Wizard B: 17/17 (Fire) (Race: Goblin)
Novice Lancer B: 20/20 (Iron Lance) (Race: Generian)
 
Novice Duelist C: 18/18 (Wooden Sword) (Race: Revivian)
Novice Fighter C: 20/20 (Iron Axe) (Race: Generian)
Novice Sniper C: 16/16 (Iron Bow) (Race: Goblin)
Novice Lancer C: 20/20 (Iron Lance) (Race: Goblin)

Rosencrantz: 20/20 (Iron Knife) (Race: Goblin)
Guildenstern: 20/20 (Iron Bow) (Race: Goblin)
Novice Wizard A: 17/17 (Wind) (Race: Generian)
Novice Sniper B: 16/16 (Iron Bow) (Race: Generian)

Spoiler: Map Info (click to show/hide)

Objective: Rout the enemy or defeat Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
Other Info:
- Downs in this fight are non-lethal.
- Novice Duelist B is the one with the Revivian wife.
- Novice Fighter A, Lancer A, and Wizard B are the ringleaders.

XP: 0/100