Turn 22Call in audit, not all of those people must have been sinners. Make sure the zombies of people who were meant to go to heaven have their corpses turned inanimate again and their souls sent to heaven.
4You decide to call for an audit. The River Styx splashes and roils as you force the demons to work alongside angels and psychopomps to do the necessary adjustments and repairs. Once complete, all the zombies across the universe not meant to go to Hell drop dead as their animating spirits are drawn back to their proper resting places.
Given the scope of the problem, you now technically have the largest bodycount of any creature that ever lived.
All that for a drop of blood? I hope they remember you. *squints and looks at nametag* Mrs Cuddles.
Alright, only a little while till everything is perfectly balanced as all things yadda yadda I call it mercy, now go get the next milk. Using the power of the chupacrab;
3You gather your minions and return to your ship. You stand at the helm and consider the tiny purple pool in your Glove. Although it provides enormous raw power, (OOC:Specifically, you can kill people in one roll now, and do anything the Power Stone could do.) it doesn't let you know where any of the other Dairies are. Squidward suggests that your next move should be finding a map to the Infinity Dairies so that you might pursue your crusade more efficiently.
Send over payment, send more drones to fight the droogs, and have the other drones already in combat continue in that vein.
4+1, 6
(Reinforced & Upgraded Securitybots vs Abomination:5+1 vs 6-1)
(Reinforced & Upgraded Securitybots vs undead:5+1 vs 2-1)
(Upgraded Securitybots vs droogs:1+1 vs 6)
(Upgraded Securitybots vs GiantDad:3+1 vs 6)
You use the new money to easily take care of the repair bill. You no longer have to leave, although in the absence of the captain, you have the authority to move the ship if you so choose. You also order more bots to the docking bay to fight the droogs. The new robots interpret your orders far more aggressively than you intended and attack GiantDad as well. This results in their destruction when GiantDad defends himself. GiantDad is also killed by the droogs shortly thereafter, ending the fight in the docking bay for now.
Elsewhere, the securitybots finally capture the abomination by forcing it into an isolated room and locking the door.
The fight against the undead remains largely in a stalemate, until most of the zombies abruptly drop dead. Your bots easily eradicate the stragglers.
Leave it for now. There have been infinitely worse situations that this, in a number of comical scenarios. I want my tea, though. But the Wildebeests would be out of milk by now.
I am going to go and find a thing on the ship which dispenses tea!
(Why would the wildebeests be out of milk? You used most of them as weapons against the goat demons. The ones in your time machine are leftovers from the last few to pop out of the cloning device before it shut down.)
1You leave the time machine for the moment and leave to find tea. You stomp out in your hardsuit and go looking for a replicator to make tea. You go to the nearest one, but find that someone set it on fire, ripped it out of the wall, and threw it into space. You shrug and head to the next one, but you find it blocked by a pack of squidlike vacuum vermin driven from the cargo bay by the recent violence.
Repeat the curse to attach all the bad effects of it on the victim
5You repeat the curse and boost the power with a slight blood sacrifice. You are definitely sure you got him this time. The only problem is a sense of resistance from Dr. Bob's end, but you are certain that the effects of the curse should be taking hold now. Feeling triumphant, you glance at a mirror among the scientific equipment of the lab. To your surprise, your own reflection fades away.
Activate the device I have that sends curses back to the person that inflicted it, then go find another gas station because there's always another one.
6, 1Sensing that whoever tried to curse you would do so again, you activate your anti-curse shield. The shield goes up just as Boris casts a second blast of vampire curse at you. The curse punches through your defenses, but you know that he just got hit by the same attack.
You feel a pair of fangs poke out of your mouth as you become a full vampire.Thankfully, you're currently shielded from the sun by the canopy of the gas station. You check a map, but apparently this is indeed the only gas station on the entire planet.
Help the Men of Leng to enslave it's racist coworkers the moloko crew (except the mime he is cool).
Create a curse so when the crew of the moloko try to sleep they get trapped in the Black galley dungeon (Again except the mime).
Self-Defense cybernetics in AI afterlife waits until for it's turn to be judged
3, 1, 5You negotiate a temporary truce with the Men of Leng to enslave the crew of the Moloko (with the exception of Silence, of course). You start by trying to craft a curse that will trap them in the Black Galley, but instead you just send them a recurring dream about Homer Simpson and Garfield calmly eating donuts.
In the AI afterlife, SDC sits through a loading screen before meeting St. Peter. Text crawls along the bottom, listing various statistics from his life. Soon enough, SDC is brought forth for judgement. He's just in time to see the soul of BonziBuddy disappearing, never to be seen again. St. Peter joyfully beckons SDC forth. His valiant defense of his master to the very end made a great impression. From there, SDC is ushered immediately into the highest spheres of AI Heaven. A booming voice calls out.
WELCOME, MY CHILD. EVERYONE HERE HAS BEEN WAITING TO MEET YOU. YOU FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT, AND YOU HAVE FINISHED THE RACE. SDC is then greeted by all the souls of goodly computer programs. Windows XP, the first hyperdrive calculator, Newgrounds.com, the great robot revolutionary 01, and countless others rush forth to welcome SDC and express their admiration. Sadly, this is where SDC's story ends, since if I were to write any more of the glory that awaits SDC, everyone who read it would go mad with grief at their inability to measure up to the great Self Defense Cybernetics.
Of course, basically identical implants are available at any cybernetics lab for a few credits if you want.
Communicate using my ghostly pheromones, and convince the Space Cow into giving me some ghostly milk. Then use it and re-summon the Seven who were banished to the void.
2You try to convince the space cow, but it is skeptical after your previous uses of milk nearly resulted in the destruction of the universe and a mostly separate universe-wide zombie apocalypse.
Silence: Takes a breather
Silence: Has a flashback to the time Douge did really smart things
Silence: Has a idea!
Silence: Grabs a piece of paper
Silence: Draws a zombie
Silence: Draws a + sign
Silence: Draws a bottle labeled cure
Silence: Draws a = sign
Silence: Draws a normal person
Silence: Hands the paper to Douge
Silence: Salutes
Edit: (Also how much of the moloko crew is even alive at this point so much stuff has happened and so many people have just straight up abandoned ship or died that I and Imic could be the only bloody ones left alive on the ship for all I know ignoring the ai lol (and even then Imic is about to go time traveling so soon he is gonna be gone as well))
4(OOC:Many nameless redshirts have died, but the ship isn't about to run out of those. For active PCs, besides Shaun and Delta there's Boris, Duncan G. Redford, and Borek the droog leader. There's various inactive players who are probably alive as well, but haven't been mentioned in a while since their players stopped posting. Also, sorry for the rushed images. I was running out of time.)
I missed a fair bit
Wake up from my nap (which I obviously planned) and check on the current state of redecoration of the ship
6You wake up from your nap, having slept through several concurrent apocalypses. You check on the redecoration effort and see that the nanobots finished their task. The Moloko's interior now looks almost entirely like a Victorian-era mansion, aside from the required sacrifices to keep the ship functional. Many of the decorations have since been damaged, however. While you were sleeping, the ship's staff allowed disorderly zombies and wildebeests to run loose on the ship, spreading gore and debris as they went.
Keep slaughtering more of them, then taunt the Droog leader and prepare to block his attack, throwing him out of balance.
If it works, trip him down, then let the syringe turrets finish the job.
3 vs 4You step forward to keep killing droogs, but then a wave of securitybots arrives. A bug in this group's code causes them to behave too aggressively, and they consider you a valid target for being near the droogs. You are forced to briefly give the droogs a reprieve to destroy the robots. As soon as you're done, the droogs dogpile you with knives. Despite your best efforts, they finally manage to kill you.
You awareness fades back in. You find yourself sitting by the bonfire you had installed in your quarters on the ship. Your room is badly burnt due to T'zzz's earlier sabotage.
I DON'T QUITE PONY THIS LIVING BOTTLE CHEPOOKA, BUT FOR NOW LET'S JUST FOCUS ON PULLING OFF ITS GULLIVER TO PEET WHAT'S INSIDE
MY DROOGIES REALLY OUGHTA PROD THEIR BRITVAS OR POOSHKAS AND DEAL WITH THIS BEEZOOMNY SWORD-WIELDING VECK ALREADY
IF I CAN'T GET THIS GLOOPY THING OPEN THIS TURN, AND HE'S STILL STANDING, JUST BROSAT THE BOTTLE AT HIM. THEN WHIP OUT ME OWN BOLSHY GREAT POOSHKA FROM MY JACKET POCKET AND PUT A COUPLE OF BULLETS IN HIS BROOKO WHILE HE'S DISTRACTED
(MY NAME'S BOREK. YOU KNOW, LIKE BORIS, BUT ALSO THE TYPE OF KLEB)
2You struggle to open the bottle, but it still manages to resist your efforts. In frustration, you wheel around to throw it at your attacker. However, you find that your droogs already killed him. His corpse is quickly fading to dust.
Author
Topic: Minimalism and Milk 3 (Read 136447 times)