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[Smoke Mirrors]

Assist AI in changing nanobots laws to asimov, so they dont harm humans, then set them to kill damn nonhuman janitor, who started all this roomba rebellion

Taking note of this, also alter the Asimov Laws to refer to “sapient entities” rather than specifically “humans”.

https://sd.keepcalms.com/i/there-s-no-way-this-could-possibly-go-wrong.png

...
"Crew members", then. Rather than either "humans" or "sapient entities".

For the record, I support killing the janitor.

[CABL]

Thank the station workers, then beam back to the ship and onto the Bazaar.
Try to find the traitorous janitor, but do not engage him in combat.

[Trinculoisdead]

Give the crew the weekend off while the ship is repaired; they deserve it. Review the crew manifest to ensure that everyone is accounted for.

[Smoke Mirrors]

EP, Does the ship give out wages or are we government paid? I’m asking due to wondering if it would be an ok action to Give everyone their week’s wages so they can enjoy their weekend off.

[Enemy post]

EP, Does the ship give out wages or are we government paid? I’m asking due to wondering if it would be an ok action to Give everyone their week’s wages so they can enjoy their weekend off.

The ship gives out wages and is funded by tax money. You can give out the money if you want, although success will be dependent on the roll of course.

I was actually going to say that the Alliance is a post-scarcity society like the Federation from Star Trek, but then I remembered that Duncan G. Redford had already been established as having a bank account and you had to negotiate with the repair station over costs.

[Smoke Mirrors]

I think I’ll change it to Make sure the repairs are done properly to fit the proper functions of the ship. then, so as to not mess with everyone’s wages.

[Enemy post]

Turn 12

Um. What?

While I don't really care what my vessel looks like so long as it doesn't look like some murderbot, it should at least not be a clumsy mess. Try to rework it into something more mobile.
And wait when did these nanobots happen? Since when do we have nanobots? Fucking secretive engineers. Make sure the nanobots are three-laws compliant at least.
Oh, and make sure that the repairbots are maintaining the function of the ship's departments, if not the aesthetics. Losing functionality for the same of an antique style is simply illogical.

Assist AI in changing nanobots laws to asimov, so they dont harm humans, then set them to kill damn nonhuman janitor, who started all this roomba rebellion

Taking note of this, also alter the Asimov Laws to refer to “sapient entities” rather than specifically “humans”.

https://sd.keepcalms.com/i/there-s-no-way-this-could-possibly-go-wrong.png

...
"Crew members", then. Rather than either "humans" or "sapient entities".

3, 4, 1

You recall your avatar to the repair zone and make major revisions to the design. It's more agile now, but stripping it down to remove unnecessary parts has left it looking skeletal and maybe a bit too intimidating. You use your backdoor hidden in the ship's laws of robotics to program the nanobots to spare humans sapient entities crewmembers. You check on the nanobots progress and find that they are actually converting the ship into a nonfunctional Victorian manor. Thankfully, Joshua steps in and fixes the problem before any permanent damage can be done.

I think I’ll change it to Make sure the repairs are done properly to fit the proper functions of the ship. then, so as to not mess with everyone’s wages.

5

You wisely decide to check on the repair bots and find that they are actually destroying the ship in the name of Dapperness. However, you log into their command structure and order them to preserve the ship's underlying functions before they can get around to turning the life support into an art gallery or something similarly disastrous. The bots are now safely repairing and harmlessly redecorating the ship.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... Run to thr rngineering eing and find an Engineering hardsuit. Once the Hardsukt has been donned and oxygen tanks have been found, acquire a toolbelt and tools. Begin construction of a personal rocket booster with cupholders.

5, 5

Things haven't been going well for you lately. However, you're an engineer. It's time to fix some problems. You leave the mime behind and go to the engineering department. You flawlessly construct your hardsuit, collect your gear, and attach a custom flame-print rocket booster. You even add cupholders to the suit. Your suit gleams in the light as you stride back into the hallway.

Silence: Looks confused
Silence: Shrugs
Silence: Waves at beard guy
Silence: Attempts to train Douge again while making encouraging gestures

5

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Go after the DNA thief and kill him then steal his DNA from him, because I need the DNA for SCIENCE!

4, 1+1 vs 5

It appears you have a rival. You do some detective work to track down this DNA thief, ultimately finding him in an alleyway as he pummels an Orion-kitten for its DNA. The figure is wearing a dark cloak with a heavy hood. You charge forward and attempt to blast him with your death ray. The beam stabs out in a wickedly erratic and sparking yellow bolt. Your target dodges the beam, which reduces the wall behind the figure to ash. Before you can fire again, the figure steps up and knocks you down with a laser-crowbar.

Fortunatly I am not the only one cursed with knowledge. Search for someone that does know the location of the Infinite Dairy's.

6

Fine, you'll do it yourself. You go looking for someone who can help you find the Dairies. You locate the office of an expert on the topic and request his assistance. However, you offer to kill half his neighbors as payment. Despite the obvious good that would do, he takes offense for some reason and refuses to give you the information.

Delete Janitor from crew manifest, so he gets killed by nanobots. 

2

You try to erase T'zzz from the manifest, but you are don't have authorization to make that change.

put a leash on the roomba then set it on turbo mode (to clean fast but inneficiently) with orders to catch that hover-rickshaw (while dragging me)

4

You set your Roomba after the rickshaw and ride to the tune of the William Tell Overture. You catch up to the rickshaw, with the Roomba pulling alongside. The potatoes are just before you. An alien couple regards you with confusion.

Express through the sound of seven goat heads screaming at the same time that I am neither Scandinavian nor human. Attempt to release myself of the Valkyrie's grip and fly towards the Bazaar.

5

You scream in every unspeakable tongue that you aren't even Scandinavian. The valkyrie releases you immediately and gives you a tankard of Asgardian mead as an apology. You then go your separate ways, the valkryies returning to Valhalla as you float down to the Bazaar.

Gnaw the universe

1

The unleashed goat deity coughs on the star it ate and is momentarily prevented from gnawing on reality.

Thank the station workers, then beam back to the ship and onto the Bazaar.
Try to find the traitorous janitor, but do not engage him in combat.

1

You decide to beam down to the Bazaar and look for the janitor. You stomp through the crowds and find what seems to be the traitorous janitor. You spread your arms in a taunting gesture and order him to surrender, but it turns out that it's actually an unrelated mass of cybernetically augmented green tentacles.

Give the crew the weekend off while the ship is repaired; they deserve it. Review the crew manifest to ensure that everyone is accounted for.

(I won't make you roll to give the crew the weekend off, since it's just telling them so.)
1
You send the crew off for shore leave. From their perspective in the virtual reality therapy, it has been some time since the psychic attack. They are functional, but the brief vacation should be good for morale.

You also decide to check the crew manifest. Unfortunately, it's not great. Several crew members have died as a result of the cow bombardment and the psychically induced infighting.

[ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES]

You should choose your words wisely. Force the information of him, with the help of my adoptive son, Squidward.

[Glass]

Well, I'm glad my poor roll didn't actually do any permanent damage. Thanks, SM.

Just have the bot put on some standard clothing. At worst it'll just look ridiculous, which is better than intimidating.

[Imic]

Find a computer terminal, and use it to access the Bazaar’s financial records and accounts. Begin siphoning the money used to purchase repairs back into the ship’s accounts.

[ziizo]

politely greet the alien couple then grab The bag of potatoes.

[Gwolfski]

Seeing the good progress on upgrades to the ship, and slightly annoyed that it has to 'function', see about getting some money back into my accounts. Maybe sell a blood emerald or two.

[Fluffe9911]

Silence: Gives Douge a pat on the head
Silence: Sends Douge out to find a random item using his new found powers of math and science!
Silence: Attempts to find something that explains what Douge actually is

(I know he is a basilisk but I dont think Silence knows that since he kinda just bought it on a whim so lets see how this goes lol)

[sprinkled chariot]

Send bazaar police department information about our janitor trying to start mutiny on our ship  and his photo

[Smoke Mirrors]

Now then, I think the best thing to do now is to put the janitor on trial for insubordination, destruction of private property, and attempt to mutiny.