Turn 5Beat the space cow with the hammer, I need that DNA for SCIENCE!
Beet the space cow with the hammer, I need that DNA for SCIENCE!
Bonk the bioscientist guy with my Zweihander handle (gee, what a mouthful), knocking him unconscious.
Track down the space cow and milk it already, ffs.
(EDIT: The sentence was a bit of a mess)
Name: M0o
Description: You feel that you have made a grave mistake.
Rank: enslaved cattle YOUR PUNY CAGE IS NO MORE
RANK: Lord Commander of Space Cow regiment XA-72e
Why do you want milk?
CRUSH THE OPPRESSORS
WE ARE LEGION
THE UNIVERSE IS OURS
Psionically alert the Herd to the presence of this slavers' vessel and request immediate reinforcements. Activate the horn lasers.
(Just wanted to say that I like the cow suddenly turning into a PC. Thanks for joining, Atomic Chicken.)
Init:M0o, GiantDad, Dr. Bob.(Dr. Bob vs M0o) 4+2 vs 3GiantDad vs Dr. Bob:4+1 for Zweihander & -1 for horn laser injury vs 5+1 for hammer.1+1 vs 3 for GiantDad vs M0o.5 to alert the Herd.In the cargo bay, Dr. Bob continues to battle the space cow. The two clash across the cargo bay, knocking over crates as hammer clashes against horn. In the midst of the fighting, GiantDad returns from hunting Roombas and charges into the fray. Unexpectedly, GiantDad begins by trying to knock Dr. Bob unconscious before moving on to the cow. However, this is no ordinary space cow. This is M0o, Lord Commander of Space Cow regiment XA-72e. M0o's horns glow red with psionic power and unleash horn lasers. Moving as if of its own will, Dr. Bob's hammer snaps into place to redirect both beams at GiantDad. GiantDad is injured by the blast and a trail of smoke billows from one of his pauldrons. Not losing momentum, Dr. Bob lunges forward with his hammer and strikes M0o under the chin. The space cow is knocked to the ground in front of a viewport. M0o grimaces and sends out a psychic distress call.
Space cow faces are typically hard to read, but a trace of a smug grin runs across it as an army of space cows warp in and open fire on the Moloko.
”Ok, can we ever go a minute without being absolute morons?”
Start working on getting the engines up and running again.
4You express your wish to live in a perfect world, a better world, a world in which people don't go crazy when the milk runs out. Back in the real world, you make some calls and organize an efficient engine restart. Good timing, because an army of space cows just arrived and opened fire on the Moloko. The Captain sends the ship into warp, but the space cows pursue.
Captain C:
So much for diplomacy!
Access my personal stash of delicious Crunch cereal and deploy it in brightly coloured paper-based containers towards the eldritch goat. That should buy us time to fire up the warp engines and ditch the omnivorous being in our roomba-dust-littered wake...
6 vs 4 to distract Nuhg.2+1 from Joshua fixing the engines.You deploy your specially marked boxes of Crunch™ cereal and blast the eldritch goat with a swirl of flavor and 11 different vitamins and minerals. The antimatter drive nearly fails to power up the warp engines, but your first mate organizes a fix just as an army of space cows attack your ship. You jump to lightspeed in the direction of the Intergalactic Bazaar. The space cows use their biological FTL capabilities to pursue. At this time, you are approached by Silence the mime, who silently communicates that he was attacked by a monster in the cargo bay.
Silence: Runs to the area the captain is
Silence: Raises both hands up curves them down and makes a scary monster face
Silence: Points to the general cargo area
3Wait, did me colliding in that specific part of the ship cut the power to the engines? If so, pull the plating apart with my absurd amount of horns and expose the ship's wiring. Use my extreme omnivore power to chew the wiring and cut the ship's power.
If not, just chew on the hull with all of my seven mandibles and try to brek inside the ship.
(You didn't actually cause the ship to stop directly, it stopped because Glass cut off the Roombas control.)
2You try to break into the ship, but are interrupted by the combination of the ship suddenly jumping to lightspeed, an army of space cows firing horn lasers at the ship around you, and a bunch of cereal boxes getting vented into your face. You barely manage to hang on to the ship.
AI, I need your assistance in quest of killing certain eldritch goat
Program experimental boarding action assault robot to go after goat and kill it
1You fabricate the latest design for a prototype BAAR to try and hunt down "the goat". However, you forget to specify that the target is an
eldritch goat. Immediately upon activation, the robot scans its archives for information on goats, finds that they are extinct, enters a state of utter contentment, and self destructs.
AI, I need your assistance in quest of killing certain eldritch goat
I need to re-access all my systems first. Also, huh?
Reclaim control of the ship and reactivate all systems. Also make this thing harder to hack.
Furthermore, send notification to the quartermaster that we need new maintenance bots.
Finally, figure out what the deal is with this "eldritch goat", and have the ship's weapons systems or security bots (whichever is applicable to its location) fire on it if it is located.
4, 1, 5, 1You reclaim control of the ship and attempt to update the ship's Norton Antivirus to better resist future hacking attempts. Your efforts backfire, however the specialized maintenance bots you deploy repair the damage before anything bad can happen. You also try to find out what's going on with the "eldritch goat", but don't have much time to read before the ship is attacked by an army of space cows and jumps to lightspeed.
go to clean the roombas parts. Also swear vengance against Giantdad and Joshua.
2Swearing vengeance against those who murdered your Roomba army, you try to clean up the wreckage. You get everything into a nice pile, and then it's all scattered about again when a wave of laser fire rocks the ship.
"I say, good sir, your kitchen staff are deplorable! I demand compensation for this issue, it has caused a great disturbance to my profession. Now, my good fellow, what has happened to all the milk? I need it for my brew, by Jove!"
Request some form of compensation and inquire on the avaialbility of milk on this hunk of scrap fine spacecraft
(No roll necessary)R15-B15 tells you "You can use a food replicator once I turn them on again. The reason I disabled them is probably now moot." He then turns away from you and uses a replicator himself. The replicators are now active and available for your use.
"I say, good sir, your kitchen staff are deplorable! I demand compensation for this issue, it has caused a great disturbance to my profession. Now, my good fellow, what has happened to all the milk? I need it for my brew, by Jove!"
Request some form of compensation and inquire on the avaialbility of milk on this hunk of scrap fine spacecraft
"You can use a food replicator once I turn them on again. The reason I disabled them is probably now moot."
Enable the food replicators and have a nearby one synthesize some regular milk for use in my research.
(Why did you turn those off? In any event, it made my job easier, so thanks for that.)
5You deal with Mr. Redford's complaints and reactivate the replicators. You are the first to utilize one, producing a glass of ordinary milk. You take it from the tray.
You win the game!!!What do you do next?
(I would recommend. For best results, though we have our own servers, BayStation 12, you're gonna want to read up using the /tg/SS13 wiki. They have more chaotic fun!)
*sigh*
Check my in-suit radar to see where the nearest wild Space Cow is.
(Thanks for the recommendation.)
4You carefully consult your advanced radar to scan the star system for space cows. After a few moments of consideration, your HUD beeps to indicate that the closest space cows are the ones in the massive army of hostile space cows that just appeared in front of you and started shooting.
1 turn to arrival at the Bazaar.OOC:This seems like a good point to switch over to a schedule of having a turn every other day rather than every day. Sorry for the delays, but from the previous two RTDs I've found it generally works better for me and allows people to have more time to post.
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk 3 (Read 136516 times)