Turn 2Yeah, Minimalism & Milk is awesome.
Head to a laboratory and use the science replicators to help me figure out just how much milk I need for the amount of antimatter this ship is storing.
"I like the idea that in the future "Clown" is explicitly a rank that someone on a ship might have."
Me too.
3You head over to the lab and get to work on the computer. Scans indicate that the ship's storage capacity for milk is too low to have any major effect on the antimatter drive, unless you can invent a more efficient method.
”Right, bureaucrats still suck.”
Keep the coms going in the background and have another crew member attend to it. I’ll be starting a course to somewhere with milk.
3, 6Release the roombas and use them to take over the ship. We will change the ship directions and go to the closest space-market.
3, 3-1First Mate Joshua Dantès assigns a low-ranking crewmember to continue navigating the bureaucracy and temporarily assumes command of the ship since the captain just ran out of the room. Meanwhile, T'zzz uses an army of roombas to attempt a takeover of the ship. His roombas obediently comply, but they have difficulty interfacing with the ship. As it happens, Joshua and T'zz both attempt to take the ship to the Intergalactic Bazaar. Their conflicting control inputs clash against each other and cause the ship to erratically fishtail through the cosmos.
Open the cage and milk the space cow, drinking the milk directly from her teats.
6You slash the cage apart with the bass cannon and fling the remnants aside. In fact, you're so focused on opening up the cage that the space cow uses the opportunity to escape into the cargo hold. You could pursue, but an intruder alert on the science deck forces you to let it go for the moment.
(Init:Fallas d'Florist, Nuhg-Htamuhs, Captain Crunch, GiantDad.)
Wrestle the eldritch horror masquerading as a butting goat out of the nearest air-lock! ...Unless it's lactating. In that case order the crew to milk it.
Name: Captain Crunch
Description: The beloved captain of the crew
Rank (Optional): Captain
Why do you want milk? It's not for me! It's for the crew!
Consume the thing that was knocked from the nerd's hand. Then wrestle with the captain and throw HIM out of the airlock with my goat fury.
4/b]
"Sorry, but I can't allow you to hurt the captain... FIRING UP THE BASS CANNON!"
Hit the goat abomination with my Chaos Zweihander, hopefully staggering it.
"THAT'S MY COW DNA, ARSEHOLE!"
Grab a syringe of nanoplague from my coat and inject it into the abomination violently. Grab the cow DNA vial and run while the abomination dies.
1(Fallas vs Nuhg)
5 vs 1(Nuhg vs Crunch)
1-1 vs 5(GiantDad vs Nuhg)
1 vs 4-2Alert lights flash in the lab as the fight begins. Nuhg picks himself up, Fallas draws a syringe dripping with nanoplague, and GiantDad and Captain Crunch arrive from separate elevators. Nugh and Fallas are the first to move, lunging forward toward the fallen vial of cow DNA. Nuhg wins and swallows the vial in a single quick bite. Fallas uses the opening to jab the syringe into Nuhg's shoulder. Nuhg may be an eldritch abomination, but the enhanced virus cocktail eats away at him anyway. Nuhg steps back and tries to fight off the charge from the remaining two defenders. Although Nuhg is still fast enough to warp around GiantDad's zweihander, Crunch hits him with the full force of a nutritionally balanced diet and knocks him to the ground, leaning against some now-broken equipment. The Cap'n drags Nuhg-Htamuhs to the airlock and launches him back into the void between the stars.
Given his unnatural existence, Nuhg survives this treatment, but needs time to recover from the beating and purge the nanoplague.
Comrade Captain, we need certain non human here detained for break in and murder attempt
Plant down seeds, look down science fabricator for printable weapon designs
2, 1You try to deal with your work, but several other crew members fighting an abomination near your workstation cause a major distraction. One of the combatants is thrown against the fabricator and breaks its crucial antimatter converter.
Name: Dr. Bob
Description: A man with the head of a deer that's wearing a lab coat.
Rank (Optional): Genetic Engineer
Why do you want milk? Everyone else wants it, so that means I also want it.
Search the cargo hold for any animals.
2You head down to the cargo bay and search for any animals. You come across the remains of a ruined space cow pen. The animal is nowhere to be seen, but her haunting moosong echoes from amidst the many crates.
Name: Silence
Description: ...
Rank (Optional): Mime
Why do you want milk?: ...
...
......
"I Require Additional milk to live, By denying me milk you are Harming me- SO I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME MY FLOOD OF COW JUICE!!!"
I say Pummeling the Food Replicator in an attempt in forcing it to function.
2You rage against the machine, but it just sits there and ignores you.
Ok, let's try something else.
Set a maximum amount of milk that anybody can requisition for the time being - one quart should be good. Then, check the cameras for particularly unusual events on the ship.
I like the idea that in the future "Clown" is explicitly a rank that someone on a ship might have.
Yeah well I'm pretty sure a lot of us are taking our inspiration from SS13.
I haven't played SS13, I guess I'll need to look that up.
2You try to set a limit on the amount of milk available to the crew, but it seems that you can't access the controls while B15 has the replicators locked down. You also check the cameras for anything worthy of your attention. Unusual events are fairly common aboardship, and a full report is prepared and displayed above. A space creature attacked the science deck, but was repulsed by the efforts of several crew members. The most relevant event to you is almost certainly one of the ship's janitors hacking into the ship with an army of roombas and attempting to take control.